To attract women: be fun or be serious?

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,720
Reaction score
3,153
Location
US
Just play into your strengths and natural personality.

Trying to neuter your personality for mass appeal is dumb.

Better to be polarizing and be hyper attractive to some women and unattractive to others. The absolute worst is for you to be a forgettable NPC where every women has a neutral opinion ie thinks you're a "great guy" and is boring and forgettable. If some women don't hate you, you're doing something wrong.
 

Clockwerk50

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2023
Messages
725
Reaction score
470
Age
39
Just play into your strengths and natural personality.

Trying to neuter your personality for mass appeal is dumb.

Better to be polarizing and be hyper attractive to some women and unattractive to others. The absolute worst is for you to be a forgettable NPC where every women has a neutral opinion ie thinks you're a "great guy" and is boring and forgettable. If some women don't hate you, you're doing something wrong.
That is basically the Natural archetype. They are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious, making people feel comfortable. They use their vulnerabilities to their advantage, inspiring sympathy and protection. While some of this is genuine, they often use exaggerated charm to disarm others. All of these qualities are derived from childhood.

Sadly, it works best in one who is still young enough for them to seem natural. They are much harder for an older person to pull off.
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,720
Reaction score
3,153
Location
US
they often use exaggerated charm to disarm others. All of these qualities are derived from childhood.

Sadly, it works best in one who is still young enough for them to seem natural. They are much harder for an older person to pull off.
who's they? Idk I'm mid 30s and that same attitude lets me talk my way into jobs i'm not even remotely qualified for. it's not that "be yourself" horseshvt it's genuinely not filtering anything you say
 
Last edited:

Clockwerk50

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2023
Messages
725
Reaction score
470
Age
39
who's they? Idk I'm mid 30s and that same attitude lets me talk my way into jobs i'm not even remotely qualified for. it's not that "be yourself" horseshvt it's genuinely not filtering anything you say
Naturals. You probably have that child-like fearlessness that adults often lose. You’re like a breath of fresh air in a cautious world, charging forward with a playful spirit that feels completely natural. If you happen to offend someone, you’re just too lovable for them to stay mad at you.

Being in your 30s isn’t old. I meant that as people grow older, their natural qualities should reflect that same open spirit, transforming youthful innocence into a genuine confidence that connects with others.
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
2,720
Reaction score
3,153
Location
US
Naturals. You probably have that child-like fearlessness that adults often lose. You’re like a breath of fresh air in a cautious world, charging forward with a playful spirit that feels completely natural. If you happen to offend someone, you’re just too lovable for them to stay mad at you.

Being in your 30s isn’t old. I meant that as people grow older, their natural qualities should reflect that same open spirit, transforming youthful innocence into a genuine confidence that connects with others.
Oh I gotcha. I thought you were implying it's somehow more mature to neuter your personality.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
6,642
Reaction score
5,754
Being in your 30s isn’t old. I meant that as people grow older, their natural qualities should reflect that same open spirit, transforming youthful innocence into a genuine confidence that connects with others.
Screenshot 2024-10-22 at 09.41.33.png
Lao Tse - Tao Te Ching
 

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
2,594
Reaction score
1,101
Age
35
If some women don't hate you, you're doing something wrong.
Yeah, any gal who's still eager to jump you, even after you've hosed her down like so
2:33-3:11 likely ain't playing with a full enough deck to be a reliable companion
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,696
Reaction score
7,735
Location
USA, Louisiana
Women are not A, B, or C. They aren't some equation. They aren't black and white. Do what gets the best results for the type of woman you want to attract. I'd start with being myself, as long as you aren't some weirdo. And I don't know anyone that doesn't like to laugh.
Be the best version of yourself possible, then date until you find a woman that likes you for you. If you are a serious person, then try to be funny, you will come off as 'weird': if you are a fun guy, then try to be serious, you will come off as 'weird'. Most men are not good actors.

Having said that... what most women want is a man that can be serious, when being serious is warranted, and fun what they do not need to be serious. They want men that can regulate their emotions based on the appropriate environment. If you are so serious that you cannot have fun, most women will not like you: if you are so much fun that you let things you need to do to be successful... women will date you but they will not hang around.

Having said that is you are a serious person all the time... there are women that like this... just understand that eventually she will wander off looking for fun.
 

Learning Curve

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 7, 2023
Messages
509
Reaction score
421
Age
32
Location
Cyprus
I'm always confused about this.

1) One group of men say "Make her laugh, have fun, bring out the little girl in her and she'll be yours."

2) The other group of men say "Be serious, focused, no nonsense type of guy, and she will be yours."

All things considered (dress, height, look, money), which is it?
Here is your answer:

Be your self.

BUT, and i add this in capital and bold ADAPT to every woman differently.


This does not mean change your behaviour or become something you are not, this means that if she is less touchy you are less touchy, if she replies with one word in texts you reply with one word.

If she is late to a date you call her out on it, if she likes sexting you do that, what ever the women shows you adapt and besides that, you are who you are. You can't become somebody else to please women just to be succesful with them.

All you have to do is find a balance of attraction and remove turn-off characteristics from your personality.
 

itouchyou

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2023
Messages
285
Reaction score
187
Don't be weak is the answer, whether that means you're serious or you're fun, doesn't matter
 

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,156
Reaction score
2,465
Age
124
One of the first red flags I saw about PUA/Game was, as you have noticed, that the 'experts' didn't agree on a single thing. Huge contradictions across the board. The 'direct vs indirect' thing was the first big one to hit me (since my first 2 books were mysterymethod followed by Mark Manson lol), but if you kept digging, like I did (and boy, did I dig!!), you realise that every single tiny nuance of game was split down the middle.
The 'pros' didn't agree on a single thing.
They all had their own ideas that they said 'worked' - A mixture of being 'fooled by randomness' (as Nassim Nicholas Taleb might say) as well as just marketing tactics.

So we can say that there are basically no rules. And can a game be a game without rules??

So, just be you. Whether you are the comedian or the stoic, she will want you IF she is attracted to you. Both will work just fine. Or neither! lol
I also agree that it is irrelevant, as long as you escalate

watching now a tv show called tell me lies, it is a girl show but the main guy character I think profiles quite well the ideal vibe a guy should have

For some reason he gives me a @Velasco vibe haha
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
6,642
Reaction score
5,754
It doesn't matter whether you're fun or serious, as long as you're interesting.

VRIJPALEIS 2:7 YOU .jpeg
 
Top