Tips for adult male virgins by coach Nick Notas

[needimprovement250]

I’ve wanted to make a thread about this video ever since @corrector tagged me in that thread about the HealthyGamerGG video on adult virgins. I came across this video awhile ago and I found it pretty useful and informative. I’m not sure if I would hire Nick as a coach or not as I already have someone else in mind for that and he specializes in guys who are inexperienced at an older age, but Nick does give some good advice in this video.

For me, my lack of experience at 30 holds me back so much and has proven to be a huge mental block from me even making any effort to date or meet women. I just keep thinking that I’m now stuck in an infinite loop of rejection where I will keep going out on dates and then be rejected each and every time just because women will be so turned off by my lack of experience. I keep telling myself that no one is going to want to be a 30 year old guy’s first girlfriend and I’ve now missed the boat.

This video helped me see through this mindset, but it isn’t gone of course and probably won’t ever be until I’m more experienced. But one question I have for everyone here is how often do women ask you about your past relationships and dating history? That one topic of conversation alone keeps me and so many other guys in this situation out of dating altogether.

 

[sangheilios]

@needimprovement250

Why would you ever feel the need to mention to some woman that you are a virgin? This is a one way ticket to rejection, I'm not saying this to be mean but it's the truth for men that are still sexually inexperienced at an age where it is unusual. The reality is that women are incredibly picky and regularly rejecting acceptable men left and right far too readily, as has been discussed a million times on here. Women see the vast majority of men as "unattractive" and constantly lament over there being no "good men" or men with "brains" available lol. If you go and tell these women you are a virgin you are just giving them another reason to reject you. It will create some internal thoughts in their minds like "If this guy is still a virgin that means that other women haven't accepted him, which means there is something wrong with him, which means I should cut him off", or something like that.

I'd like to tell you that this is a trait that you wouldn't be judged for but that is not reality.

Story time. About a decade ago I had met this woman and at the time I was still sexually inexperienced. I really wasn't all that heavily into her but I figured I'd give it a shot but mentioned my inexperience to her. She said something about how I needed experience first if she were to go for me. Anyway, she ended up ghosting me and many years later reached out to me, actually wasn't that long ago lol. She was a single mother, had gotten fat and tried to see if I was still available lol.

These women are doing you a favor by rejecting you for being a virgin. With that said, you are also severely shortchanging yourself by broadcasting this to them and could potentially be missing out on some enjoyable dating/sex experiences.

As for the questions about dating experience, you could just outright lie or avoid the subject by giving some mysterious answer. Like if she asks how many relationships you've had, which really isn't any of her business, you could just say something "Wouldn't you like to know" and just say it with a slight smile and leave it at that.

I've seen some talk about going for escorts for a first sexual experience. There is nothing wrong with this but it's a strange dynamic that isn't really the same thing as when you have two partners that are actually attracted to one another. One, it's a step up from masturbation and not really the same as getting intimate with a woman that is actually into you, I don't really know how to describe the difference but comparing it to masturbation with a live/warm body is what it reminds me of. Second, there's the mental aspect with thoughts like "I had to pay an escort for my first and only experience with sex", which could possibly lead to some mental blocks. Third, there's also the possibility of developing some weird kinks that could prove detrimental to more normal sexual encounters.

 

[needimprovement250]

@needimprovement250

Why would you ever feel the need to mention to some woman that you are a virgin? This is a one way ticket to rejection, I'm not saying this to be mean but it's the truth for men that are still sexually inexperienced at an age where it is unusual. The reality is that women are incredibly picky and regularly rejecting acceptable men left and right far too readily, as has been discussed a million times on here. Women see the vast majority of men as "unattractive" and constantly lament over there being no "good men" or men with "brains" available lol. If you go and tell these women you are a virgin you are just giving them another reason to reject you. It will create some internal thoughts in their minds like "If this guy is still a virgin that means that other women haven't accepted him, which means there is something wrong with him, which means I should cut him off", or something like that.

I'd like to tell you that this is a trait that you wouldn't be judged for but that is not reality.

Story time. About a decade ago I had met this woman and at the time I was still sexually inexperienced. I really wasn't all that heavily into her but I figured I'd give it a shot but mentioned my inexperience to her. She said something about how I needed experience first if she were to go for me. Anyway, she ended up ghosting me and many years later reached out to me, actually wasn't that long ago lol. She was a single mother, had gotten fat and tried to see if I was still available lol.

These women are doing you a favor by rejecting you for being a virgin. With that said, you are also severely shortchanging yourself by broadcasting this to them and could potentially be missing out on some enjoyable dating/sex experiences.

As for the questions about dating experience, you could just outright lie or avoid the subject by giving some mysterious answer. Like if she asks how many relationships you've had, which really isn't any of her business, you could just say something "Wouldn't you like to know" and just say it with a slight smile and leave it at that.

Well I’m not a virgin, my body count is just extremely low and I’ve never been in a relationship. But yeah obviously I wouldn’t volunteer that information and broadcast it by mentioning it on my own, but my point was that when women eventually bring up the topic of past relationships and dating history, you can be outed as an inexperienced guy that way and then get rejected/ghosted. So I think the most important thing for inexperienced guys including myself is learning how to properly navigate that conversation if or when it comes up without revealing much information about the fact that you are inexperienced.

I don’t think that lying about it is the best strategy to take because a girl who has experience will probably be able to tell by your actions that you don’t have much experience and lied to her. The dating coach who I had in mind said that second one is the best idea and that you can assert a boundary in a way that isn’t stern or anything to where you make it clear to her that you aren’t willing to share details about your past with her.

I did consider the escort thing for awhile and there’s actually one in Nevada at a legal brothel that specializes in inexperienced guys, but it would cost so much money and who knows how much it would actually help me.

 

[pipeman84]

I cliked on the video and on the recommened videos on the right side of the page, this one caught my attention:

Basically a 31yrs old woman with nose ring, apparently injected lips, tatts on her arms (saw that on different video on her channel) claiming she's a virgin waiting till marriage.

But yeah obviously I wouldn’t volunteer that information and broadcast it by mentioning it on my own, but my point was that when women eventually bring up the topic of past relationships and dating history, you can be outed as an inexperienced guy that way and then get rejected/ghosted. So I think the most important thing for inexperienced guys including myself is learning how to properly navigate that conversation if or when it comes up without revealing much information about the fact that you are inexperienced.

Just as Nick Notas mentioned in the video, just say you didn't find the right girl for a relationship. That doesn't mean you're inexperienced but that you're high value and a woman has to qualify to enter into your life.

I did consider the escort thing for awhile and there’s actually one in Nevada at a legal brothel that specializes in inexperienced guys, but it would cost so much money and who knows how much it would actually help me.

You're making it sound as if having sex is brain surgery. Read Sex God Method and 2 girls teach sex (there's the book and there are videos as well) and use your imagination to make a plan of how it will happen.

 

[needimprovement250]

Basically a 31yrs old woman with nose ring, apparently injected lips, tatts on her arms (saw that on different video on her channel) claiming she's a virgin waiting till marriage.

Somehow I find that hard to believe lol, must be one of those “born again virgins”

Just as Nick Notas mentioned in the video, just say you didn't find the right girl for a relationship. That doesn't mean you're inexperienced but that you're high value and a woman has to qualify to enter into your life.

That might work if I actually was a high value man, but the problem is that I’m not, I’m low value in every sense of the word. I’m low value because at 30, I still live at home with my parents, don’t have a career and just work temp jobs, and I have 0 friends. These are things that can’t be hidden from women that you date either. Saying that could work if I actually was high value, but it probably won’t because of the fact that I am low value.

You're making it sound as if having sex is brain surgery. Read Sex God Method and 2 girls teach sex (there's the book and there are videos as well) and use your imagination to make a plan of how it will happen.

Yeah I’ve had sex before and know that it isn’t that hard, i just haven’t had many sexual encounters. I have only had two and they were 5 years apart from each other and it has been 3 years since that second one and absolutely nothing since then.

 

[Barrister]

Getting the virgin butterflies is definitely a thing. I am sure it just gets magnified the older you get and having never slept with a woman.

However, unless you suffer from some terrible disability, there is really no reason you need to continue to be a virgin. Cast a wide net (OLD, cold approach, social circle, etc) and you are bound to score here and there. It is a matter of having some confidence that you are a person of real value. If your mindset is you are a hermit who lives in his parents' basement with nothing to offer, chances are this is going to permeate how you interact with women (and really everyone in your life). No reason you can't take control of it.

 

[corrector]

If you are in a position where it's relevant for you to even tell girls about your dating history, then kudos to you for being in the zone. When you are far out of even that zone, then nothing about your history is relevant because nobody cares. When you find yourself having to deal with real-life issues, getting a full-time job, being part of the grind, living paycheque to paycheque and trying to make ends meet without spirling further into debt....then things like that really take a backburner in your mind. With the state of the economy, inflation, and way things are going, I think there are bigger issues out there than our lack of experience.

You said you were looking for a job before? Do you see me post here often anymore. I don't have the time with a full-time job where I have to be on my A-game and sell stuff. If I get my head bogged down in sad/depressing things then it will affect my performance. Have to look up and be cheery. Focus on something interesting about yourself and think of a few stories or something that you can talk about. Look at inexperience talk as something that is sad, that does nothing but get you depressed, and kills the vibe of any girl you are dealing with and try to steer the vibe into something upbeat and positive.

 

[sangheilios]

Getting the virgin butterflies is definitely a thing. I am sure it just gets magnified the older you get and having never slept with a woman.

However, unless you suffer from some terrible disability, there is really no reason you need to continue to be a virgin. Cast a wide net (OLD, cold approach, social circle, etc) and you are bound to score here and there. It is a matter of having some confidence that you are a person of real value. If your mindset is you are a hermit who lives in his parents' basement with nothing to offer, chances are this is going to permeate how you interact with women (and really everyone in your life). No reason you can't take control of it.

In my honest opinion, I think a lot of this stuff stems from internal issues where it results in self sabotaging. Think of a guy is still inexperienced at an unusual age, so closing in on 30, and he's gone on a couple dates with a woman he met. He really doesn't know what the hell is going on but he finds her alone with him at his place and doesn't know what to do lol. He then feels the need to mention to her that he is a virgin thinking that she will be more understanding or perhaps help lead the interaction, instead he very likely just completely sabotaged himself for no reason.

 

[NealIRC]

@needimprovement250

Why would you ever feel the need to mention to some woman that you are a virgin?

To see if you can get sympathy from them. Especially if they're the type not into violent men.

 

[sangheilios]

To see if you can get sympathy from them. Especially if they're the type not into violent men.

I actually touched upon this idea with the post I just left above yours. I think a lot of men that are virgins past an age where it is normal get lost in their own heads and self sabotage. They go in there with the hopes that it will ease the tension they are experiencing, whilst completely disregarding the possibility that she may not be feeling that at all.

Here is a hypothetical scenario.

A 28 year old virgin has gone on a couple dates with a woman he likes and she invites herself over to watch a movie or some ****, so she is literally alone with him at his place. He has literally no idea what to do and feels the need to tell her he is a virgin in the hopes she will be more understanding or perhaps even help lead the interaction to sex. The issue with this is that he very likely just totally sabotaged himself for no reason simply because he was nervous and didn't know what to do.

I understand what you are getting at, it's just not how the real world works and very likely to lead to something like I mentioned above.

 

[Cowboy-Cheems]

While this does not exclusively pertain to virginity, it is relevant to the discussion. It is important to never give women the idea that you are "available." Massive availability of a man is a massive red flag that indicates a "damaged goods" status in the mind of a woman. This is why showing up to a bar or club with a wedding band on can often arouse female attention. Women like to compete with other women and/or upgrade to a better man. The wedding band is basically the female dating equivalent of a quality control passage stamp.

The virgin is the ultimate form of damaged goods, especially if he is over 25. Women look at him the same way that men look at a car that has been on used lot for a long time: "There must be something horribly wrong with it, or someone would have bought by now."

In short, never give a woman a straight answer about your sexual history and always give the impression that she is NOT your only regular female contact in your life. You can "spin plates" but more often than not, just the illusion of you spinning plates is enough to keep her fighting for your attention. Make yourself the "big ticket item" in this bargain basement society filled with "damaged goods."

 

[NealIRC]

I actually touched upon this idea with the post I just left above yours. I think a lot of men that are virgins past an age where it is normal get lost in their own heads and self sabotage. They go in there with the hopes that it will ease the tension they are experiencing, whilst completely disregarding the possibility that she may not be feeling that at all.

Here is a hypothetical scenario.

A 28 year old virgin has gone on a couple dates with a woman he likes and she invites herself over to watch a movie or some ****, so she is literally alone with him at his place. He has literally no idea what to do and feels the need to tell her he is a virgin in the hopes she will be more understanding or perhaps even help lead the interaction to sex. The issue with this is that he very likely just totally sabotaged himself for no reason simply because he was nervous and didn't know what to do.

I understand what you are getting at, it's just not how the real world works and very likely to lead to something like I mentioned above.

But telling a girl you're a virgin, show confidence! As well as balls to admit it.

 

[Gamisch]

While this does not exclusively pertain to virginity, it is relevant to the discussion. It is important to never give women the idea that you are "available." Massive availability of a man is a massive red flag that indicates a "damaged goods" status in the mind of a woman. This is why showing up to a bar or club with a wedding band on can often arouse female attention. Women like to compete with other women and/or upgrade to a better man. The wedding band is basically the female dating equivalent of a quality control passage stamp.

The virgin is the ultimate form of damaged goods, especially if he is over 25. Women look at him the same way that men look at a car that has been on used lot for a long time: "There must be something horribly wrong with it, or someone would have bought by now."

In short, never give a woman a straight answer about your sexual history and always give the impression that she is NOT your only regular female contact in your life. You can "spin plates" but more often than not, just the illusion of you spinning plates is enough to keep her fighting for your attention. Make yourself the "big ticket item" in this bargain basement society filled with "damaged goods."

I second this. Thread worthy comment.

Somehow I find that hard to believe lol, must be one of those “born again virgins”


That might work if I actually was a high value man, but the problem is that I’m not, I’m low value in every sense of the word. I’m low value because at 30, I still live at home with my parents, don’t have a career and just work temp jobs, and I have 0 friends. These are things that can’t be hidden from women that you date either. Saying that could work if I actually was high value, but it probably won’t because of the fact that I am low value.


Yeah I’ve had sex before and know that it isn’t that hard, i just haven’t had many sexual encounters. I have only had two and they were 5 years apart from each other and it has been 3 years since that second one and absolutely nothing since then.

Wow. You have tons of shyte to fix, yet you somehow believe you have the right to get bad bytches lol. Could not be further from the truth!!!!

You want to have your cake and eat it too. The problem with y'all is you are all lazy bums who refuse to make (power )moves. Ofcoursee you feel inadequate because YOU ARE.

Think about it like this: what type of woman would be PROUD to show you off to her friends \ family? Probably one that lives in her car or is homeless lol. And unfortunately for men like you; even a homeless woman is capable of pulling "normal" men who'd have or want to resort to prostitution ( which is A LOT ).your "competition " is way too strong for you. Mind you , the men wwho DO make shyte happen are NOT EVEN your competitors at this point lol. If you want to be CONSIDERED as a potential candidate to women here's what you must do RIGHT NOW:

-get a damn job..no excuse you lil *****. You are blessed with your parents. If it wasn't for them you'd be dead now. Pay them back both with pride and with literally hard earned money. .

-Disable your account here. Stop posting on forums UNLESS its about progression and moving out from your mommies basement. I dont wanna hear you EVER talk about "game ,women, " and shyte like that.

- 30 years?? What are you doing all day long? I know...Watching porn and playing games . And then hoping for shortcuts.

- be THANKFUL for not having a similarly degenerate woman who'll hold you back cause you're "satisfied " . Your biggest motivation is..what else ..p00sy. PATHETIC!!

-you can save money as a mofo!! No friends ,no women NO RENT and plenty of time!

- what kinda value do you offer to the world??? I am waiting.


Now be gone. Go fix your shyte. You are a fecking manchild who deserves what he gets right now:ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

 

[Slag]

To see if you can get sympathy from them. Especially if they're the type not into violent men.

I used to employ that tactic back when I was a sad sack. I'd make self deprecating comments thinking some woman would feel sorry for me. It never did me one bit of good, and I can promise you it won't do you any good, either.

 

[DonJuanjr]

-you can save money as a mofo!! No friends ,no women NO RENT and plenty of time!

For real, I know two people....One save up $150k in 8 years with this set up, and another saved up 180k in 8 years.

 

[Gamisch]

For real, I know two people....One save up $150k in 8 years with this set up, and another saved up 180k in 8 years.

Some will say I am a azzhole yadiya.

Oke. Lets say we do give him the "magic spell" that attracts a couple of h0es. You know what will happen?

These unfiltered/no filtered bytches will drop truth bombs on him that would make Hiroshima blush! Yes, women will play him like a fiddle, he'll feck like 6 times and instead of having 180 k in 8 ysars he'll be on cocaine in 8 years living literally on the streets.

I know that sosauve is SUPPOSED to be a seduction forum. But the fane has changed so bad that in order to even consider seduction /being seductive a man must do TONS of preparations .

This dude is yet another example of this. Its not like he's 17 or something right...he's 30. I had my first kid at 27. My cousin at 22.

I don't understand why men are so focused on women when they're not even able to carry themselves.

 

[sangheilios]

But telling a girl you're a virgin, show confidence! As well as balls to admit it.

As I had mentioned on my earlier post on here, that is not how it will be perceived by women. As I and @Cowboy-Cheems had alluded to, many women will start to view such a man with suspicion. His analogy of the used car lot and a particular car sitting there for a while is a solid one. It might look good on paper and based on first glance appearances, but there must be something going on underneath that is causing the other customers to run away. This is an instinctive response and not something that these women are probably even aware of.

I used to employ that tactic back when I was a sad sack. I'd make self deprecating comments thinking some woman would feel sorry for me. It never did me one bit of good, and I can promise you it won't do you any good, either.

I think a lot of men in this instance would be looking for sympathy or perhaps looking for the woman to help lead the inexperienced and timid man. Here's how I see it, at some point every single man was a virgin at one point and had to get over this hump, no pun intended lol. I think this need to broadcast older male virginity status like that is coming from a place of insecurity. It's not even really the virginity itself that is turning them off, but really the insecurity that is coming from you feeling the need to disclose this information like it's something to be ashamed of lol.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

To see if you can get sympathy from them. Especially if they're the type not into violent men.

Sure, because male virgins are never violent.

 

[corrector]

I used to employ that tactic back when I was a sad sack. I'd make self deprecating comments thinking some woman would feel sorry for me. It never did me one bit of good, and I can promise you it won't do you any good, either.

This did work with me in the 00s. However it took about a month, and had the BBC stereotype working for me. (Ie The virgin BBC guy). Look at old Luke Skywalker threads 2006.

In other times, nobody believes I was a virgin and it looks more like I am scamming a girl. Mainly because of porn and learning escort lingo would lead more to the impression that I am an average looking player running a wierd type of game.

 

[NealIRC]

I used to employ that tactic back when I was a sad sack. I'd make self deprecating comments thinking some woman would feel sorry for me. It never did me one bit of good, and I can promise you it won't do you any good, either.

As I had mentioned on my earlier post on here, that is not how it will be perceived by women. As I and @Cowboy-Cheems had alluded to, many women will start to view such a man with suspicion. His analogy of the used car lot and a particular car sitting there for a while is a solid one. It might look good on paper and based on first glance appearances, but there must be something going on underneath that is causing the other customers to run away. This is an instinctive response and not something that these women are probably even aware of.

I think it does work, it shows women you do have balls, but it also decreases her willingness to have sex with you. This just goes to show, women do not want to have sex with confident guys. Their attraction to you goes up, while their willingness to have sex with you, goes down.