Thyme to get serious - My Journal

[Thyme]

hey well as is typical with this chick, i go from frustrating night to awesome night, which is what i had last night.

she made her intentions pretty damn clear last night. heavy kino and cuddling/etc. still no kissing but honestly im fine with that, she just got over mono (nasty sh*t IMO)

so yea thats my quick update for the day... she wanted to hang out with me earlier today but i told her i was busy. ill maybe meet up wit her later.


side note- ive started reading "story of my life" by cassanova. i saw the movie and he intrigued me (for obvious reasons) so i ordered his book.

 

[Thyme]

well i havent posted here in a while mainly bcz ive decided to postpone my bootcamp untill i start up college.... but i thought id give a little bit of an update on my current situation with my girl.

we are going pretty good now. we have kissed 3x (i know its weak, but im workin on it) and a couple days ago i was starting to feel worried bcz things started to get slower/borderline boring and i could feel the effect it was having on her. so today i did a spontaneous thing and told her to just get dressed and come with me and didnt say anyting else. i took her to our local goodwill (awesome place !) and it was great. we tried on the most rediculous clothes we could find and just perused all the random crap. she really enjoyed it, i could tell.

i think one of the reasons we hit the rough patch (only really lasted about 2 days) was bcz i was starting to get oneitis with this chic. i was feeling clingy, forgetting my other friends, and kinda in the mindset where i had to 'stand waiting by the phone'. i didnt like it at all, and go figure she didnt either. so i decided one night that i am going to go about having my own fun and if she wants to join me, great. if not, her loss and whatever. tonight i went out with my other group of friends and was very social and a big tease with a few of the girls.

... i realized while i was teasin and talked with my buddy about it afterwards - i realized that i am attracted to a LOT of women. i love them all (minus fat and tall chicks). now that i have gotten myself into opening myself up to possibilities, even chicks that i used to point my nose up to i am starting to see them in a different light. it was kinda fun having this 'girl goggle' on. its like i finally saw the millions of fish out there - and in this mindset its impossible to have oneitis.

well anyways... thats my update. be back to post sometime (ill always be readin, just maybe not postin).

 

[Thyme]

its been a while for me but ill give an update (i still have been frequenting the sight and learning, but ive been getting into the blueprint and DD)

sooo i read DD's double your dating. i really really liked it while i was reading it. it is a great book and it is well known for a reason. and one of the reasons i think i will be able to encorporate it at college is that it correlates with me as a person. while a lot of the things that i read in stuff like mysterys book i knew would work for someone, i didnt really think that it would work for me personally. DYD definately was tuned into my type of personality.


ok now the blueprint... im into the fifth hour of it... wow. i REALLY like it. one of the reasons for me liking it so much is that i have had a LOT of the same thoughts with social conditioning and whatnot as tyler talks about, i just couldnt really put them into words like he did. the last year for me has had a lot of ups and downs... and during the downs is when i would really get into deep thoughts about society and where i fit in it. the problem was that i had so many wide and varied thoughts that i didnt know what to do with them or how i could use them to help me. tyler obviously understands them and so far has really helped me to understand them.

there is a lot of information already and i feel like i will have to find a way to get this second nature for me. i just dont know how im going to do that - maybe take it piece by piece or concept by concept. idk yet. still, im lovin it.

and id like to have this stuff under control in my mind before i get to college. i think this would help me be all i can be socially for the first impressions at college which everyone knows are the most important.

 

[Thyme]

ok its been a while since ive been on my journall, but im going to start up again and definately hit it hard once i go to hte uni.

here is my update (im startin up on another b/c)

ok here is my update. sunday-earlier today i was in NYC by myself just kinda bouncin around. one day i spent specifically working on the bootcamp and had pretty good success.

my eye contact is done (i got ****ty results though, freakin new yorkers hardly ever keep their eyes anywhere but where they are walking). and i got 23 hi's (of which about 3/4 went into a short conversation, and 4 went into a long convo).

when i was on the street, i would ask for htings like directions/good places to eat/fun stuff to do. a lot of the time i got really good feedback if i actually got them talking to me. but i never felt like going past the quick 30 second convo about directions and stuff like that. i felt like it would be awkward to say:

me- "hey, do you know this area well?"
her- "yeah"
me- "ok sweet im looking for this place called McSorelys... you have any idea where i can find it? i know its around here somewhere..."
her- "oh yeah mcsorelys is right over there (points)"
me- "ok thanks... (this is when i feel like it is natural to just go, and it would be weird to try to force the convo on) "so lemme get your number and we'll meet up sometime."

but i do have a feeling that i could pull it off, but id have to give her a really fun a spontaneous feeling ya know?


anyways i got really good success with long convos when i went to this art gallery thing (i hate art, but imo great place for meeting women). i saw about 5 groups of gals my age, and i got into 5-10 minute long convos with 3 of them. they were into me i could tell. i would always start the convo kinda lighthearted and funny -

me - (staring fixedly on a stupid picture of a persons head) "how does this picture make you feel?" (and i would say this without actually looking at her)
her - (kinda uneasy at first, bcz she isnt sure if im just messin or not) "hmm... kinda sad?"
me - WRONG. its supposed to make you feel anachronistic (or any stupid long word)
her - haha whatever! (now she can tell im pullin her leg)
me - yea im jst messin with ya, i cant stand this stuff. please dont tell me you like it...

convo goes on...

the only problem i saw myself having was after the fun witty first part, it would always go to the boring interviewing type questions "so where you from" etc. i hate those and i am going to make it a goal to stay as far away from those questions as possible.

 

[rushing dude 123]

Good job Thyme, nice on starting bootcamp again, i think i will start one next week too, just to keep those social levels pumping. Ur opening is pretty good and yeh steer away from interview mode, unless u have no choice to ask a interview question or ur just really curious. Then just try to make them bit interesting. For example

Dj: how old r u?
HB: 18
Dj: hm r u sure ur not 17 and half and just rounded it up, because jail isn't that fun
HB: yes lol how old r u?
DJ: how old do i look?
HB: hm 17 haha
Dj: dam i better call a police officer over then, i have a feeling this wouldn't b the first time u had hand cuffs on....but they were probablly pink and fluffy lol.


Their interview questions into something sexual, then just throw some open ended questions on subject. So don't b afraid to use them just try to use other stuff and then if u have no chance make them interesting.

 

[Thyme]

haha nice i could definitely see myself using that. and on top of that i think what makes it go passed the 'just talking' feeling is when you kino it up, ya know? at first of course just kinda subtle kino but after a while of talking making it obvoius. idk but i love kino and think it is such a powerful tool.

oh and dude if you start up a b/c in the next couple of weeks i will definitely join yours instead (no offense to whoever is running the one im in, but it is sub par and there is only really two of us in it.) i really liked the way you ran it last time so i would much rather do it with you again (and make it all the way this time now that i will have 5 thousand freshman girls at my doorstep woohoo).

 

[Thyme]

ok so ill give a little update on what ive been up to in the past week or so...

lately i have been trying to make a conscious effort to put myself out into as many social situations as i can. and WOW, i can really tell that it is hard for me and i naturally find myself coming up with excuses to not go out and instead stay in my comfortable little shell (which i have been doing for wayy too long). but lately i have been stepping out quite well. i dont let any excuse get in my way. even if im dead tired and broke, i still go out.

i have been visiting my cousins this week and last night my 20 y/o cousin took me out to a white trash themed party and even though i was exhausted at first i still managed to enjoy myself. i didnt hit on any girls really (kinda weird with my cousin there, but looking back it was just bcz i was afraid of rejection in front of her). and honestly i felt like a made a pretty good entrance (i usually do feel like i come off as a cool guy) but i just died down socially for like a half an hour and didnt really say anything - kinda awkward like (and this is something that i think is a common theme for me). after a couple games of bp and playing with partners plus liquid courage i had made about 2-3 friends that i could casually talk to whenever. people usually just called me 'wisconsin' instead of my name... my guess is bcz it was easier to remember. note to self - it wouldnt be all that bad of an idea to give myself a catchy nickname that people will easily remember at parties and stuff like that.

i did kinda casually notice the difference between the fun people at the party and the ones who came off as 'trying to hard'. the ones who were fun were just being themselves, not anyone else. they were just there to have a good time and werent afraid to speak their thoughts at any moments notice. the ones who came off as trying to hard were the ones who were dressed up like they either A) went out to buy something for the party (like a shirt that says 'my two favorite words are free beer' or B) wore very preppy clothes like they were more worried about how they looked than how much fun they were hving.

----

then today i went out with another cousin and noticed a lot of the same things. i had a decent intro but then they would forget about me and talk about their own inside stuff for a while and then towards the end they would include me and enjoy my company. i think the main reason that people ignore me at first is simple - i dont come off as being interesting enough to them. i would love to have something about me that just screams uniqueness and makes people i meet really want to know more about me. hmmm... that will be a challenge with alot of trial and error to figure out.

looking forward to the aug 20th b/c with RD!

 

[Thyme]

first day of college = lots of possibilities

well today was my first day of college (as u can see from above) and it was pretty cool. i feel like college just has me written all over it and this uni is right up my alley. wow today was a very long day. earlier wen i got my room all sorted i met a few guys from my dorm. they all seemed nice and wil be good to have to relax with (probably not take out with me though, idk if they would be the best wingmen). later i met up with a few of my old friends. two of which are pretty attractive 8's. i guess when i was with them (and everyone here) i have been trying to give off a fun and free spirited kind of vibe. i want to be decisive and not supplicating like most people are as freshman. id like to be the leader of men while seeming chill at the same time, but i dont htnk it will be easy.

anyways here was my post from the b'c : haha nexus, where are you goin to school?! id love to join your for 70 percent, thats crazy man. must be a predominately nursing college im guessing?

well anyways i finished week 2 already, actually did more than finish it... i got about 15 conversations at least. but honestly it almost isnt fair for me because A) it was the first day of college where everyone talks to everyone in a stupid attempt to make friends and B) i have always felt good starting conversations and keeping them kinda fun. i will say though, even though i thought i had confidence in the past, i can tell that i am getting even more now that i make it a point to do it.

i can detail the bigger conversations that i had (with HBs, of course):

first (and best of the day) was a HB 8 who was sitting alone at a bus stop. i sat down next to her and asked her if she knew where a certain bus went. so that went to college talk and i found out that she is my age, what she is studying (psych), and that her dorms are very close to mine. she really seemed like she enjoyed the conversation, which was nice. there was never a pause, and most of the time when it felt like a pause was coming on, she kept the convo going with the common interview question type of thing. we must have talked for atleast 35 minutes bcz i was with her from the bus stop all the way to the dorms, but i still feel like i wasnt on top of my game at all (not that it seemed to matter). the BIG problem was that there wasnt really any flirting going on at all, and it seemed like she was more into friendzoning me. but who knows it is still very early. im sure i can make a better impression when i take her to a few parties with me (used that as my excuse to get her number). so yea... with this HB i number closed and she enjoyed the convo... not bad but i still have a way to go so that i can make the convos flirty and with a sexual vibe about it.

my other main convo was with a girl that i was very attracted to, my type all the way. most people would probably rate her a 7, but to me she was an 8.5. anyways we talk the normal beginning thing 'where u from' etc (which i hate btw, trying to get away from) and it was just kinda a casual convo. i threw a few negs at her and she would laugh and joke around a bit. unfortunately she has a bf but im not giving up hope on her. she lives one floor above me so that would be nice to have!

thats the basics, im going to go into a little bit more detail in my journal in a sec

----

another time that should be noted was when we were having our 'mandatory meeting' crap. well there were all the people from my dorm there and like kids it seemed like all the guy were staying together and all the girls were staying together too (not completely, but u get hte idea). i said fvck that and i kinda crept my way into the girl group... starting with the end ones to eventually working them on either side of me (both different groups). it was awesome. even though they were probably just 7's, they were really into me. laughing at my jokes etc. i could tell that they were feeling the vibe that i was trying to give off. sh*t, one girl i even caught throwing glances at me a couple times during the presentation.

all in all, good start. but i NEED to do everything. thats one thing im worried about. falling behind into the comfortable zone. oh and another thing i havent really decided on doing yet either - going to freshman activities (which i really enjoy and make it super easy to meet women) or going with the hb8s who want to party. you would think its an ez choice to go with the hot ones (very popular type, people want ot be their friend). they are actually asking me to go with them, but i dont really like it so far bcz i def do not feel like the alpha of that group. and with so many people in the uni, it seems stupid to stay caught up on one group, ya know?

 

[Thyme]

i have a few updates i guess... nothing really exciting though. last night i went to a few orientation event things and my group was all girls (about 8 total). for the most part, they werent that great looking, maybe 6s or 7s. except 2 of them were pretty cute about 7.5s maybe higher. as the night went on me and one of the cutties were hittin it off. we would kinda be secluded from the rest of the group as we walked all over the place and we would chat away, i had her laughing a lot. one thing i noticed (maybe its just me) but when you and a chick are kinda into eachother, you walk very close to eachother - and lightly bump into eachother all the time as you walk.

funny thing is, whenever we went back to the whole group i would flirt a bit with the other cutie - eye contact flirting and all that jazz. and i noticed that A) the new cutie i was flirtin with was completely into it. and B) the other one was watching me while trying to make it look like she really wasnt looking haha. she seemed like the type that might be jealous and it probably wasnt the right move to do bcz she ended up being a little bit colder to me after that point.

but i didnt really care bcz i felt like i was in the zone last night... very fun night. i did actually end up getting both of their phone numbers
__________________

 

[Thyme]

today was an AWESOME day for me... wow i am going to have to work to try and remember it all.

it all started with me in my very first college class (a discussion, like 20 kids), i walked in and it was absolutely silent (almost everyone was already in there) and i sat down in between a couple of girls and leaned into one of them and playfully whispered "why is it so freaking quiet in here?!" she laughed a bit and blah blah blah. i felt very social and it seemed like i was giving off a fun/interesting vibe. it could have been better but i still felt good.

then walking back from that, i was walking behind this absolutely attractive girl (very much my type) and saw that a kinda nerdy group walking in front of us had a backpack on wheels (very odd). so i kinda discreetly said something like "so i guess rolling backpcks are the new thing?!" to the hottie and she absolutely cracked up. we talked a little bit and she seemed like she enjoyed me talking to her. she had to turn almost right away, so the convo was only like 30 seconds long, no number close. no way i was getting her number. but honestly after i was done talking to her i felt SOOO good. it was like i was on cloud 9 and it was awesome.

later that day in one of my lectures, i saw these two HB 8.3's standing outside of the lecture halls and i went up and asked "did either of you do this (pre quiz thing), bcz i had no freakking clue about it". well they both laughed and ironically enough they were in the same boat as me. well as we were walking into the hall, i kinda isolated one of the girls (while the other was being hit on by this fatass haha, she totally was trying to get out of it) and it was great. i wasnt amazing, but i had her laughing and i felt like i gave off a good vibe. they came and sat next to me and i continued to bull**** a bit more. during the class i did the tic tac toe thing on her and she loved it. it was fun being a little rebellious but in a kinda safe way. she was on her phone a bit (as was i) and i messed with her saying in a sharp tone 'NO texting in class". she laughed and pointed at my phone, which was sitting on my lap. towards the end of class, i simply opened up my add a contact thing and, without saying a word, handed her the phone and she knew what to do. awesome, number close - i definately plan to give her a call. she parties a bit too

on my way back from this class on the bus i saw this very good looking foreign indian girl, i didnt talk to her on the bus but when we got off; "so howd the first day of classes go for you?!" blah blah blah... i dont think she was into me sexually but i did number close her and i would love to meet up with her sometime. but i havent decided how i will do it, bcz i think im on the bridge of the friendzone with her. hmm id like to do something like ice skating or something where i could get kino'ey like a back massage but i feel like thats too forward for something this soon. ill think about it

and after the last class on the bus back i talked with a girl on there and we found out that we have the same chem lexture so we chatted a bit, and she didnt really seem that into me sexually but she did make mention of walking to class some time together so i number closed her and idk what i will do with her


anyways thats the update, it was an awesome day

 

[Jet]

Hey man, looks like you're doing awesome. I love that "Can I meet your dog?" comment, LOL. I should make one of these journals. I also liked that method of going around and trying to come up with an opener for everyone. Having something to say and genuinely curious/genuinely interested is very important and sets the mood. First impressions are important too.

You seem really positive and I think that's great

 

[Thyme]

thanks man i appreciate it

well today i met another group of 2 girls: one fat, one pretty dang hot HB8.3

i was talking a bit with them and i was really giving off a fun vibe, i could just feel it i was doin great. i had them laughing and was having fun with them - ripping on them while being nice at the same time. i dont know if it was because i was talking to other people around us at the same time ( it was in a stadium full of people) but after a while they seemed to want to do their own thing and talk amoungst themselves.

towards the end of hte thing though we started talking again and they mentioned how their dorm is so boring and they never get to meet people (i took that as major IOI)

so i number closed the hot one and i definately think i could make that one work out... i definately could have used a bit more sexual tension - that is my big problem right now. i can get the girl to have fun and i can give off a very 'out there and lovin life' vbe which they all like... but i just need a little bit more.

also i was txting the lecture hall chic HB 8.3 (the one who i thought i had the most flirting with and sexual tension) and sure enough she txts me to start it off:
HB-heyyy are you doing this whole thursday night party thing
me-hell yea. why whats up
HB- looking for other people to party with. im in ***** with one friend and a bottle of vodca
me- what kind of vodca
HB-haha svedka
me- naw im not coming over for that sh*t haha
HB- haha understandable let me know if you find a cool party

me (like 2 hours later)- you have tickets?
HB- i do have tickets!!
me-cool you want to go party hoping with me a few buddies at the frats? its giong to be a lot of fun
HB-perhaps, where are you
me-back in **** now
HB-im with a friend at ***** still, just hanging out waiting. let me know
me-im not going out tonight sorry
HB- cool, ill see you in chem. do you have disc tomorrow?
me - (i forgot to respond)


now dont get me wrong (i was reading through my post), i keep saying that i have a lot to work on, which is true, but i am feeling soooo good its not even funny. my confidence is very high and i am getting enough numbers to work with that there really isnt any one chic that means too much to me. im lovin college... and i can not freaking wait untill i find a FB (thats kinda my little side goal)

 

[Thyme]

onight i went out with a buddy of mine and like 8 other girls (it was hilarious the looks we got from guys - pure and utter astonishment at the fact that me and my buddy,not great looking, were surrounded by all good looking women around 8's and one or two 9's). well anyways long story short, i was the center of it all for once. i was hands down one of the lives of the party. we were at a frat, and the frat guys all loved me (for bringing the freshman chics) and i had even heard that one of the 'head girls' kinda had a crush on me (she was hot but not my type). anyways this one girl (EXTREMELY MY TYPE) and i had some serious eye contact. well im really buzzed at this point and feeling very confident so i talk to her and got her to actually want to go back to the dorms with me. along the way back, i seriously had her eating out of hte palm of my hand. i was in total control and she knew it. we get back to the dorm after walking for a while and by the time we get back i am no longer buzzed at all. sure enough, we get in the room and i basically freaking freeze. WTF!!! everyone has heard of AA being a big problem, but what about f*ck anxiety!?! i still managed to not keep things awkward and i think she is even more into me now but theres no way i will last if i get all nervous again. and i know why im nervous - i am always very nervous and not relaxed at all when im about to get intimate with a girl (unless i have boos in me). now, this chick is ridiculously good looking and does have experience... but i just need to figure out a way to get over that and still blow her mind (which i know i can)

idk i just feel like im going straight to the big leagues and im skipping the minors, ya know?

i dont know if i should tell her straight up, 'hey so look your the one with more experience here so you should take the initiative' - but that sounds so freaking pvssy i think she would shoot me down in a second.

and another part of me is screaming 'thyme you idiot just not care about feelings at all and **** her brains out' - but honestly i wouldnt want to do that necesarily either

then the other, easy way out, part of me says just be buzzed for the first few times you guys get intimate, and then maybe after i can ease into sober intimacy?!?!

 

[Thyme]

im going to start doing things on here a little differently - more aimed at keeping track of relationships with specific girls...

HB#1 (friend of a friend, very cute face, dec bod HB 8.3)
a few nights ago i told you about the head girl... this is her. my very good friend from school made friends with her and she thinks im crazy and fun.

today i ran into her and she asked to have lunch with me. lunch was pretty good. never any awkward moments - she is a fun girl. the only weird thing was that she has a very piercing look and it was hard to look at her in the eyes for more than like 2 seconds ha. so i felt kinda weird sometimes i wouldnt talk while looking at her. at this point though, i really wouldnt want to go any farther with her unless it was like a spontaneious thing at a party.

im planning on adding a few girls and keeping tabs on the status... (like snowdog if any1 has read his)

 

[snowdog]

Great, another journal. I'll read it tomorrow.

 

[snowdog]

You know your sig is from an awesome Aerosmith song, right?

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy to see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane
Tryin' to walk through
The pain
When I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah,I thought I could leave but couldn't get out the door
I was so sick and tired
Of livin' a lie
I was wishin that I
Would die

[Chorus:]
It's Amazing
With the blink of an eye you finally see the light
It's Amazing
When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright
It's Amazing
And I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight

That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings

You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't listen to all that righteous talk, oh yeah
I was out on the street,
Just tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay
Alive
[Chorus]

Desperate hearts, desperate hearts



This song always cheers me up, man. There's some beautiful positivity in there.

 

[Thyme]

no i didnt know that snowdog haha but it is a quote that i have lived by for a long time now (and to think i had no idea of the origin...)

anyways - last night all my work with dj'ing really paid off - i met up with this chic that i met last friday night. we really hit it off last week, she gave me the eye fvck and i took her back to her room when her roommate was gone but she ended up feeling sick so we couldnt do anything. well she is really into me so yesterday i go over and we sit to watch a movie. literaly ten minutes into it i have her shirt off for a 'back massage' (ha!) then we start to make out and the clothes come off... we didnt go all the way and im not going to put the details on here. all ill say is - thank you sosuave and bootcamp haha.

 

[Thyme]

ok so here is an updated list of the HB's that im working on:

HB1 aka cuteface i havent really talked to her a lot lately... she and my friend tried calling me last weekend to see if i knew of any parties but i was staying in the night so i didnt see them. i think the only time i will really be hanging out with cuteface is when i go out with my old friend (so maybe once every other week, possibly more)

HB nicebod (the one that i hooked up with) is still staying in semi contact with me. she made mention several times during our night that i better not blow her off and i had better call her, so i plan on doing it and hopefully making a FB out of her (im not interested in a relationship with her as of now)

HB Latina (id say a 8.8 no lie) i dont know if i have mentioned her yet on here, but wow did i luck out. this very cute, innocent, girl walks on the bus and i talk with her a bit and find out htat she is shy so she hasnt made a lot of friends (this is kinda a reoccuring theme for me, other people are not nearly as social since they are not doing things like b/c's). so i get her number and say we will hang out sometime. we have texted a bit back and forth and i definately want to keep in touch with this girl - she is definately GF material, wayy above FB. plus what is nice (for me atleast) is that im sure she has not had much experience in bed, so even though it might be awkward, we would each feel comfortable and i would be in control... good practice and i feel like thats the way every1 should start out.

HB shorty - this girl has called me a couple times looking to party but ive been busy both times. and i have a feeling that she wanted to do more than just party bcz she said something like "im bored and by myself, you should come over and we can do something or go partyin". maybe im wrong but i doubt it.

HB GorgiousEyes - met her at the football game and at this point she just sees me as being a fun guy so id like to work with her and get her into me but it would def be a challenge.

HB dancer - just met her tonight at this salsa dancing class but she was TOTALLY into me and i could tell that i could game her right into bed. you know what i mean? when they are into you and you know your stuff its almost too easy. FB material - very cute face, but kinda bigger body, not bad at all though maybe 130 lbs

so thats it for now... i wouldnt really say im spinning all the plates at once though right now - ive only got 2 going really good - HB nicebod and Latina. the rest im sure i could get spinning with very little effort so its just a matter of going out and doing it. ill keep you posted.

 

[arizona55]

It sounds like your killing with the ladies.

Freshman year is always such a blast. Live it up and get on as many girls as you can!:rockon:

Those texts from girls alone at night take as a 1 hit IOI. Definite interest and easy scores.

That bootcamp was a great idea for the summer before freshman year. It similar to what I did, it seems like we have similar personalities.

Good Job, your living the college life, and the best part is the freshman chicks come back every year, just as young stupid and wild.

 

[Thyme]

thanks man i appreciate it. just now i kinda speed read through my journal and i have come a long way. human potential is ridiculous most people dont even understand