This Market Of Women/Recommendations

[DaddyLongShanks]

Guru,

I honestly get your point, but I'm not sure if you entirely get my point OR if maybe you are just too optimistic about life and through my trials, I have learned to keep everything balanced (not be too optimistic or too pessimistic).

For example, you believe the following:



Some mountains can be moved, and some mountains CAN'T be, it all depends on the situation.

You HAVE to be optimistic but also have a bunch of facts when you plot your course. If you are negative you will accomplish exactly what you think, NOTHING at all.

Many of the paths we plan are going to have setbacks, delays and even they can become unfruitful. We aren't asking you to bury your head in the sand. We are asking you to keep a positive mindset and determine what if anything you can actually do about it... That's positive thinking. Taking negative feedback and providing a positive movement or response to get back on course.

- For example, Guru you know business and you know that sometimes a deal goes bad, no matter HOW MUCH you have done to save that deal, rework that deal, sometimes you have something called SUNK COSTS which are costs that have been invested in a bad deal that cannot be turned good. At that moment you realize the deal is just bad, it's time to protect your remaining capital, "eat the losses" and move on without investing anymore into the bad deal. Your attitude is saying to keep throwing money into that investment to "make it work," when the investment is a bad one and it's time to move out of it. This is why businesses close locations, it's because that location isn't profitable now and hasn't produced a profit in awhile, so they are just losing money on it.

Sometimes you made a bad investment choice, in a poor market, didn't plan it out correctly. Sometimes it cannot be good, and at some time you have to pack it in . You don't plan endevours to have to continually pack it in though. You eventually find something that can and will work for you, and you have more than enough of the resources and time to make it happen correctly.

- Another example, non-business related, if I go to my doctor at the end of this year and I'm diagnosed with a major cancer that they say is going to take my life, I'm pretty much fvcked Guru. I can think Positive and believe "The Lord" is going to heal me up until the day I die, but unless those cancer cells decrease and the disease is removed, dude, I'm most likely going to die and need to start making plans for that.

Positive thinking is figuring out what you can do to sustain your life, keeping a positive attitude so that you last longer. The positive attitude reduces stress in your body and stress antagonizes cancer cells! Also your positive thinking has you determining things you can do to stave off death, how to take care of your health, determining if doctors in another country have the means to handle this type of cancer. You cannot get stuck on the negative, it is not fruitful.

- Another example, if I drove drunk and killed somebody, got caught, and got arrested....then I can pretty much sum up that I'm going to go away for a long time. No amount of thinking Positive is going to change that, I'm going away for a long time and need to start making plans for that.

Positive thinking in this situation is knowing your going away. It would be taking responsibility for your actions. It would be knowing even though locked up you are still alive and you can still impact others and loved ones lives. you can preach to your children and family members about the dangers of alcohol. And in jail people find ways to get sex with the opposite sex ( had to clarify ).

- Another example, let's say I'm married and my wife and I had 5 great years in the beginning but the last 3 years have been hell. She's been cheating on me, destroying our finances (primarily mine), she's going bat shyt crazy and has had me arrested on false shyt numerous times, she's running all of my close friends away, and she keeps talking about how she wants a divorce. I have tried counseling, tried "manning up", tried "fvcking her better", I have literally tried EVERYTHING possible, the reality is that this marriage is toxic and it's time to end it. No amount of Positive Thinking is going to change that, the marriage is a disaster, the shyt is over, and it's time to start making plans for said Divorce.

Positive thinking would be accepting that it's OVER. That you did what you could. That its HER there is NOTHING wrong with you. That life will go on and this terrible relationship will make you appreciate a proper and good relationship so much more. Or simply being single where you won't get entangled with ANYONE who does not value you. Positive thinking would be realizing how much time and stress you had locked up in your old situation, and how you can divert this energy and use it to produce to be successful.

A negative situation like this can push a man to great heights if he does not focus on the negatives.

Negative feedback is similar to the sensors in an engine or in a self guided torpedo. You use the feedback to steer yourself towards the target. You don't receive a feedback and stay focused on it. That's being negative.

You seem to believe that if you just THINK highly about yourself, THINK positive, and keep FIGHTING, you can eventually overcome anything. I fundamentally disagree with that.

It's not fighting necessarily. All humans can achieve heights greater than they ever imagined. The key is in the mind.

And as you know sometimes it's politics and social things that keep a great person down or out. Sometimes you are fishing in the wrong pond, sometimes you just gotta know a few people.

There is ALWAYS something you can do until you are dead and buried.

Think highly of yourself, apply it, achieve, goal set. Don't worry about impressing anyone else, impress yourself!

Some mountains can be moved, some mountains can't be moved but can be climbed over, and some mountains can't be moved nor climbed over.

And you will learn some of those mountains you never wanted to climb over, you thought you did.

Heres one thing for sure. If you focused on and got successful in your business side, and maxxed out your physique, got a bit more charm and influence, you would have a bunch more success with the ladies. It's almost like math. All of those things I mentioned can be improved.

It's not improved over night, but little by little each of these qualities can be raised. Everything we do has levels like the steps in a stair step. A baby can't even crawl, then he crawls, then he stumbles, then he walks, then he runs, then he grows and runs faster. Some things you have to accept your development level might just be a baby!

Doesn't mean it cannot be developed though. Acceptance and accepting responsibility are huge tools for you to improve and be successful.

Some mountains you have to just ADMIT defeat, admit you loss, admit it's a wreck, and move the hell on to another mountain that you CAN climb or you CAN move.

Some of them where not fruitful. So there was no real return on investment and you were too naïve to realize it.

When it came to my personal situation, I had a mountain but it COULD be moved. I was homeless, but I was only 23 and had access to all of the following resources that allowed me to pull out of it:

I lived outta my car for 9 months one year. I still had my mind and will power. Friends said "they couldn't do anything" and family members where not trying to help me.

I looked for work and worked on my body everyday. It was a POWERFUL experience and tought me how important it is to take care of myself!

Each day I woke up, I worked out at 5-7am. I showered. I shaved. I put on clean and pressed clothes. I looked for work 8-12 hrs a day.

I ate good! It was food stamps, but it was way more than enough to fund a good diet.

I realized no matter if you do get help, sometimes you won't and you gotta depend and be responsible for yourself.

- Student loan monies
- New career opportunities
- New education grants
- Mentors and Counselors
- Financial Planners

With the availability of these resources, I was able to MOVE my mountain, if you take these resources OUT of the equation, I'm fvcked no matter how motivated I am, positive I am, etc.

Oh yeah. You can't just sit there and pray and hope somethings gonna happen. We are MEN. We have to do it ourselves!

Luck (and Success) is when preparation meets opportunity. If there's no opportunity as in >> no resources, no education, no accounting sources, no legal sources, no free market system, no flowing credit system, no new jobs in demand, etc., all the Prep in the world means nothing.

The key is realizing what is deficient and starting to build it up. It doesn't happen over night and you have to start somewhere.

The difference from the successful and the regular or non-successful is the successful realize that grocery list of things, qualities, resources that they DON'T HAVE, HAVE LITTLE OF, or are weak in and they do something about it!

We do something about it until each of those bullet points has been addressed. Sometimes it takes YEARS!

But that's how you gain maturity.

I'm sure you will get out of your pity party and figure it out!

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Problems like this can quickly turn from real world strategies and behaviors into the never ending pretend world of metaphors and philosophy.

I suggest Tenacity's problems are rooted in an inability to qualify properly. (which, of course, presupposes a set of non-negotiable criteria).

I recommend reading this book (High Probability Selling) and applying it to meeting women.

Emotional pain is often caused by spending WAY too much time with people that SHOULD HAVE BEEN DISQUALIFIED from the first conversation.

 

[Tenacity]

DLS I'm late getting back to this, I'm in BOLD

You HAVE to be optimistic but also have a bunch of facts when you plot your course. If you are negative you will accomplish exactly what you think, NOTHING at all.

Many of the paths we plan are going to have setbacks, delays and even they can become unfruitful. We aren't asking you to bury your head in the sand. We are asking you to keep a positive mindset and determine what if anything you can actually do about it... That's positive thinking. Taking negative feedback and providing a positive movement or response to get back on course.

Got it, I already do that.

Sometimes you made a bad investment choice, in a poor market, didn't plan it out correctly. Sometimes it cannot be good, and at some time you have to pack it in . You don't plan endevours to have to continually pack it in though. You eventually find something that can and will work for you, and you have more than enough of the resources and time to make it happen correctly.

When you say I have more than enough resources (time, capital, and energy) to make it happen correctly, are you sure? One of the main reasons that a business fails is because of capital management, they end up RUNNING OUT of capital due to the failure stages or downturns using up too much of their capital. Resources are not unlimited, it's why we study Economics, it's to realize that resources are not unlimited and we have to invest them strategically for the best returns. Resources include not just your financial capital, but also your time and energy. You only have 24 hours in a day and you are sleeping about 6 to 8 of those hours, so that's 16 - 18 remaining hours. At least 2 - 4 of those hours 16 - 18 remaining hours you are doing what I call "maintenance" such as brushing your teeth, washing up, driving somewhere, putting clothes on, eating, etc. So you are left with 12 - 14 hours, which when you look at it, it ISN'T a lot of time at all.


Positive thinking is figuring out what you can do to sustain your life, keeping a positive attitude so that you last longer. The positive attitude reduces stress in your body and stress antagonizes cancer cells! Also your positive thinking has you determining things you can do to stave off death, how to take care of your health, determining if doctors in another country have the means to handle this type of cancer. You cannot get stuck on the negative, it is not fruitful.

Positive thinking and Meditation can creates those benefits, but I'm confused, why do you think I'm so stuck on the Negative? You have repeated that a couple of times and I wonder why?


It's not fighting necessarily. All humans can achieve heights greater than they ever imagined. The key is in the mind.

And as you know sometimes it's politics and social things that keep a great person down or out. Sometimes you are fishing in the wrong pond, sometimes you just gotta know a few people.

There is ALWAYS something you can do until you are dead and buried.

Think highly of yourself, apply it, achieve, goal set. Don't worry about impressing anyone else, impress yourself!

DLS, this is DEAD WRONG my friend, I'm sorry. Give this advice to someone living in a 3rd world country without a free market system and without an individual freedom based system in general. Matter of fact, go back 100 years in 1915 and tell the African Americans in the US this same advice, when there were laws in place that deliberately PREVENTED your free market pursuits. Guys, your advice of "you can be anything you set your mind to" is WRONG. In order to achieve a goal, you need a combination of things occurring at one time that include but are not limited to:

- Your own preparation and identification of opportunities
- A free market that allows you to participate in said opportunities
- Capital to operate in said opportunities
- A network to operate in said opportunities
- GOOD HEALTH so you can get up and go to work in said opportunities
- Access to prospects for said opportunities

Talk to a Pharma Rep that can't hit their quota because they have lost access to doctors in their area or regulations have made it so that they can't push their drug.


The difference from the successful and the regular or non-successful is the successful realize that grocery list of things, qualities, resources that they DON'T HAVE, HAVE LITTLE OF, or are weak in and they do something about it!

We do something about it until each of those bullet points has been addressed. Sometimes it takes YEARS!

But that's how you gain maturity.

I'm sure you will get out of your pity party and figure it out!

What pity party am I in? Everyday I'm progressing in my career, every week I'm meeting new women, every week I'm progressing in my workouts, every quarter my asset listings/net worth is growing, every quarter my debt levels are decreasing, every year I'm as a whole smarter than I was in the prior year.....I'm not in a pity party.

You guys are just way too POSITIVE about everything, everything is care bears and rainbows with you guys. I'm not Positive or Negative, I'm Rational. There are things that are good about life and there are things that are fvcked up. You guys want to put a positive spin on fvcked up situations, well I don't. September 11th, 2001 was a FVCKED up situation. The Great Recession was a FVCKED up situation. When markets go into a downturn, it's a FVCKED up situation.

What happens though, is that even though you are in a FVCKED UP SITUATION, there are still opportunities for gain, profit acquisition and advancement in spite of the fvcked up situation.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

DLS I'm late getting back to this, I'm in BOLD

when most people read your stuff, for some reason we feel you focus so strongly on the negative. that's what stands out.

 

[Tenacity]

when most people read your stuff, for some reason we feel you focus so strongly on the negative. that's what stands out.

DLS,

That probably is true, I agree, but you know why I do that? Because it's managing the risks that allows for the gains to be properly acquired.

I can sit up here all day and talk about the benefits of women, you know, the good sex, the good companionship, the social proof you get from her being with you, good conversation, etc. right?

But if I say nothing about the negatives of being with said woman, such as her sometimes high maintenance attitude, her bad financial problems, her 2 kids from 2 different Tyrones, her crazy/psycho mother, her nosey (and fat) best friend named KeeKee, and the LIKE....then how can one know the realities of being with said woman?

I can sit up here and talk about the benefits of being in business, you know, the freedom to set your own schedule, have client ownership, have recurring revenues, make more money per deal than being W-2, lower taxes, etc., right?

But if I say nothing about the negatives of running said business, such as the long hours, the testing-failure-test again-failure-test again-failure-test again stages I had to go through before I found a winning model, the potential lawsuits, the rising costs of business, having to pay for your own expenses, having to creatively find capital, having to find the right vendors, having to pay for your own healthcare, no social security tax portion paid for by an employer, no matched 401ks, having to go it ALONE in the market, etc. etc......then how can one know the realities of running said business?

My approach has always been to discuss the overall Realities of something, because I think that it does more wonders than just discussing the Positives of it.

 

[hithard]

What you said here:

What happens though, is that even though you are in a FVCKED UP SITUATION, there are still opportunities for gain, profit acquisition and advancement in spite of the fvcked up situation.

Negates this:

You guys are just way too POSITIVE about everything, everything is care bears and rainbows with you guys. I'm not Positive or Negative, I'm Rational. There are things that are good about life and there are things that are fvcked up. You guys want to put a positive spin on fvcked up situations, well I don't. September 11th, 2001 was a FVCKED up situation. The Great Recession was a FVCKED up situation. When markets go into a downturn, it's a FVCKED up situation.

That is looking at the positive and trying to capitalize in a bad situation. Whether the situation is good or bad doesn't matter. Knowing we will aim for the best outcome instead of just letting things happen to us is what I think the others are trying to get across.


I think you attribute positive thinking as something akin to wishing.

Give this advice to someone living in a 3rd world country without a free market system and without an individual freedom based system in general. Matter of fact, go back 100 years in 1915 and tell the African Americans in the US this same advice, when there were laws in place that deliberately PREVENTED your free market pursuits. Guys, your advice of "you can be anything you set your mind to" is WRONG. In order to achieve a goal, you need a combination of things occurring at one time that include but are not limited to:

You know what those third worlders do.... jump on a boat and go to the country with a free market system.

Last time I checked you ain't picking cotton and calling me sir. Enough men with enough vision took action to shape the whole damn country.
But yes it takes a lot of action and tenacity.

Lets cut up your reply from ZTimes thread:

ZTIME,

Do you have to go to the party? Women are jealous as hell, it's why it's hard for me to "sarge" in person because after I get done talking to one girl (and getting her number), then I'm over somewhere talking to another girl. If the previous girl sees this sometimes they will walk right up to me and tell me to lose their number lol.

First off ztime has already established a connection with both girls where as you did not. So the advise you gave is not the same.

I want you to go over the statement cause its full of grenades.

Do you have to go to the party?

Women are jealous as hell

it's hard for me to "sarge" in person

followed by a negative experience.

I usually try to avoid having plates meet each other or having one plate see me with another plate. All of this online "be a DJ" talk is great, but in THE REAL WORLD it just doesn't fly most of the time. The other chick is likely to be jealous as hell and you would lose her as a plate. Yes, you can just replace the plate, but damn if she's a good plate why lose her over something that can be avoided?

All I see is negative, a lack of skill set and fear. Always staying in the safe zone, never pushing your boundaries.

Also I'm glad you are seeing how piss poor the quality of women are out here. I have been saying the market is piss poor for over a year on this forum now and a lot of guys get up here disagreeing with me, with their "think positive" and "not all women are like that" mantra.

The market is piss poor, period.

This seems to be the mantra you have decided to stick with.

I'm not Positive or Negative, I'm Rational.

Read the above and tell me its rational.


Ten you're a good looking guy.
Good business prospects.
Intelligent.
Ambitious.
Money.
So whats missing? Because I see a gaping hole that you refuse to address. Surface level game will bring more of the same. I know I'm always picking at you, but you do not come across as happy. And I know I come across as pissed off a lot lately. Thats because I am.

Posts like the one above ruin the lurkers that are already down and out. Guys with zero confidence and depressed who read posts like the above and then grab the bitterness with both hands. They then waste months of their lives stuck in limbo developing even more negative traits to have to unlearn. You post ideas that seem semi-plausible but are nothing but damaging. If no one calls them out that's another bunch of guys infected.

Man... Give the best of you, not the fears. You have a lot to offer and that is something I mean sincerely.

 

[Tenacity]

Guys listen, this is starting to get redundant. It's like no matter how many times I break down my stance and my approach of thinking "Rationally", which is looking at both the Positives and the Negatives of a situation, then making strategic choices, you guys STILL respond with "you are just thinking too negative".

Maybe my responses are too long and you just aren't reading them, but I have no idea how my stance is not being comprehended. I'm going to try this one more time....


#1.) Example One - 2008 Market Crash

Negative Event: The 2008 Market Crash

Explanation: This is a negative event, it's not a positive event. Period.

Positive Opportunity Within Negative Event: When the stock market crashes and hits the bottom, great companies are now trading at a significant discount, in combination with the fact that the Fed is looking at doing various measures to get the markets back going such as various forms of QE, lowering rates, etc. This means that stocks will rebound, so it's great to find valuable companies trading at a discount so we can obtain pretty good gains.

Conclusion: The 2008 Market Crash was a negative event, but within that negative event there were various positive opportunities for gain, profit, and career expansion.


#2.) Example Two - Divorce

Negative Event: A guy's wife is filing for divorce.

Explanation: This is a negative event, it's not a positive event. Period.

Positive Opportunity Within Negative Event: The marriage could have been a disaster, the woman could have been bleeding the guy dry, causing various mental health issues for him, etc., etc. So the opportunity here is to get out of a toxic relationship, pay the costs to do so (legal, alimony, etc) but move onto a better life potentially for the rest of his life and try not to repeat the same mistake again.

Conclusion: The divorce is a negative event, but within that negative event there were various positive opportunities for a better life ahead.


#3.) Example Three - Death

Negative Event: A person dies from cancer.

Explanation: This is a negative event, it's not a positive event. Period.

Positive Opportunity Within Negative Event: The person had been suffering for a long time with the cancer and had not lived a "full" life in a long time. Plus their family had to dig into their pockets to further support the person during this time. Now the person has gone onto the "other side" and is no longer in pain, their pain is gone. Also the family can now rest at night as their financials are no longer being strained and they can be comforted knowing that their loved one is no longer in pain.

Conclusion: The death is a negative event, but within that negative event there were various positive opportunities for personal comfort.


- hithard if you believe that my posts are causing "newbies" distress, then maybe that newbie just needs to grow up? My stances have been consistent since day one. Tenacity posts on Sosuave so that I can get my thoughts on screen (I don't have a blog yet) and try to spark reasonable discussion on those thoughts. I'm not here to try and be someone else's role model, I have way too many things I have to work on and I'm in no position to be such role model lol.

- IF you believe this market of women as a whole is quality for a relationship, which means that over 50% of the women out here are QUALITY relationship material, then we are just going to disagree. From my experience, this market is SHYT, and it's not because all I date are "hood" women. I date all types of women, the women are shyt from a majority standpoint but like I said....it doesn't mean that you can't find decent quality within this shytty market. Note that when I say SHYT, I'm referring to relationship quality, not just getting laid.

- My goals here on out with women are to continue spinning decent plates. I've already decided not to get married, make children or live with women. It's not going to happen, I'm not doing ANY legal ties with women at all. If you guys disagree with that and want to get married, make kids, and live happily ever after, then that's your choice.

It's not going to be mine, I have done very honest analysis over my situation and I will NEVER (absolutely ever) enter into a legal agreement with a woman for a relationship EVER.

 

[guru1000]

Sorry friend, but Hithard is correct.

Do you play chess? I am a great chess player. Not a grandmaster (GM), but I can give a grandmaster a challenge. In chess, your strength as a player is commensurate with the amount of moves you can see ahead. Accordingly, a newbie can only see one move ahead. I could see 6-8 moves ahead. A grandmaster can see on average 10-15 moves ahead.

When I play a grandmaster online in chess, at times, I can make an excellent move. At least I thought it was excellent. Later in the game, I discover the move was actually not quite so excellent as it cost me the game. The grandmaster knew my move was not excellent when I made it as he possessed the foresight to see further ahead of me. One could also say that my positive move was negative as it cost me the game. But was it in fact negative? I just became a stronger chess player by learning what not to do again. Was I elated to lose? No. Did I feel good? No. But, overall it was a positive experience. I may not see that at the moment. But later on in life if I continue losing and learning, I will eventualize into a GM myself. I would have accomplished a milestone. That would be great, no? Or maybe not, as people might use me as I would be a celebrity ...

Vice-versa, a grandmaster will often sacrifice a position or piece. In such instances, many newbies would think the GM made a terrible blunder. But in fact if the newbie attempts to capitalize on that blunder, the newbie will later discover that blunder was in fact an incredible move. The newbie just couldn't see it at that moment of play.

In the examples you described above, on the surface they appear like tragedies. But in the long term, can you think of any ways those instances were excellent and necessary components for the recipients affected to have grown?

Back to your previous example of working out. When you train, if you were to look at your muscle fibers through a microscope, you would see that you are actually damaging those fibers. If we were prehistoric cavemen, we could state after a microscopic observation that working out is damaging to our muscles--thus, a negative experience. "Refrain from working out." It's only later through multiple applications that we realize that we must tear and damage those muscles to spawn growth.

Unfortunately, that's the way Nature positioned us here in this life. We see events as negative when they don't feel good. We see events as positive when they feel great. But many of us fail to realize that we have been indoctrinated with what should feel "good" or "bad" from birth. Being a homeless bum would be considered positive if society placed value in who is the least ambitious. Death would be celebrated if society unequivocally knew that the loved one graduated to heaven and left this "hell" of Earth. Divorce would be celebrated if society overall frowned upon marriage and it's merits, and instead had divorce weddings and marriage funerals.

Who is to say whether an experience is truly positive or negative? How do you know? You don't. Until later on in life when events unfold and you see how those ostensibly negative events were in fact necessary and great experiences. Or maybe not.

As I mentioned earlier: The facts have little value. What does is whether we derive a positive or negative interpretation of those facts. I have always elected to derive positive interpretations to my experiences as no one can succeed greater in all facets of life than one is truly empowered and inspired. And empowered/inspired and negative interpretations are mutually exclusive.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Tenacity,
I'm forced to agree with the other guys that you're too negative or something along those lines.

I've read a lot of your posts talking about the hardships in general that you face, and we've tried to help. But essentially you just keep shooting all of us down, so what is it exactly you want? None of us are going to be able to type out some miracle combination of words that will instantly solve all of your problems and completely turn your life around for the better.

Yet you continue to pour out a whole laundry list of problems you face with women in your area, ghetto crap you have to put up with, sometimes your game is off, etc., and much like a woman expect us to sit through this time and again to act as the proverbial emotional tampon.

Why don't you take a break from posting anymore negative stuff about what you're dealing with and try to offer good advice for some of the new or younger members here for a while.

 

[Tenacity]

Lol, yeah guys we might just have to agree to disagree here. Our arguments are coming down more to semantics rather than the actual context of what the thread was focused on.

guru1000

In the examples you described above, on the surface they appear like tragedies. But in the long term, can you think of any ways those instances were excellent and necessary components for the recipients affected to have grown?
............
Who is to say whether an experience is truly positive or negative? How do you know? You don't. Until later on in life when events unfold and you see how those ostensibly negative events were in fact necessary and great experiences. Or maybe not.
..........
As I mentioned earlier: The facts have little value. What does is whether we derive a positive or negative interpretation of those facts. I have always elected to derive positive interpretations to my experiences as no one can succeed greater in all facets of life than one is truly empowered and inspired. And empowered/inspired and negative interpretations are mutually exclusive.

As I said prior Guru, the way you guys want to think is very optimistic, very inspirational, if I was Chris Matthews I might get a thrill up my leg (that's in reference to what Chris said about Obama's 2008 motivational speeches lol).

It's just not a line of thinking I subscribe to. I'm like the guy that runs the AA Meeting, before I talk about how "tomorrow" will be sunshine and care bears, I want everybody to first admit we are TODAY in a fvcked up situation (we are drunks).

You would say that a Mother dying of cancer was an overall positive thing, because her "suffering" is over and perhaps she had a nice life insurance policy that her adult children are going to receive that they will use to pay off their student loans. You would say, "See, their Mother dying wasn't so bad after all, their Mother is in a better place and the kids' student loans are paid off!"

What I would say, is that it's fvcked up their Mother died of cancer, and it was a smart move to utilize the life insurance proceeds towards something valuable, but the kids will never have their Mother back again and if they could choose (keep the student loan debt or keep their Mother), I'm sure they would choose their Mother.

Dude I have personal psychological issues from shyt that happened to me YEARS ago, that I still haven't fully recovered from.

- I'm not homeless no more, but psychologically I'm still fvcked up over it and that was 7 years ago.

- Even though I have moved on and been dating, sexing and in relationships with a ton of women since, the chick that I would fvcking give a KIDNEY FOR in high school that said I was "too nice" and went off to date Bo Bo the Thug STILL pisses me off when I think about it.

- The shyt I went through in Flint from getting shot at in clubs, getting jumped, robbed, shyt stolen, all types of shyt...even though I have been out of Flint going on 10 years, that shyt still psychologically bothers me.

It's like when a chick gets raped (not false rape, but actual rape) she never gets over that shyt. When a child gets molested, they never truly get over it, they grow up and most likely start molesting someone else.

When a person is turned onto crack, EVEN if they eventually get off of the shyt, the damage it did to them internally (healthwise) will never be recovered.

When a guy goes off to fight in war and comes back with ONE LEG or half his face blown off, you guys would say, "Cheer up! Tomorrow is going to be a brighter day!" Even though the US Vet can barely get enough health coverage, barely afford his bills, and is living in subpar standards after giving up so much for this country.

But you guys would say that all of this adversity helps to SHAPE a person into who they "are to be" in life! So hold your head up proud and go through it knowing that tomorrow will be a brighter day! Yeah, tell that to the guys in Flint laying in grave yards right now because unlike Tenaciy, they didn't DODGE the bullets shot in that nightclub we were in.

 

[guru1000]

Tenacity, I'm not going to give up on you brother. I will not allow you to disagree with me. Not because I'm right, but because the way you think is not bringing you genuine happiness. Watch this video. The whole video. After watching, give me an analysis:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AJvEoLPLIg8

and this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P2nPI6CTlc

 

[G_Govan]

I'm gonna go against the grain and say your OP makes complete sense to me. I would add however, that people are all pretty much self serving and my presence here and the advice I give isn't meant to be balanced.

I'm pro "men" all day everyday. Whatever we can do to gain leverage in our relationships with women, I'm all for it.

I don't subscribe to the thought of finding "The One" as I don't see people as these static, unchanging objects.

Relationships are never equal. The one who needs the other the least will always be in a position of power, always.

The average woman has the power by default, at least in first world countries.

 

[hithard]

Maybe my responses are too long and you just aren't reading them, but I have no idea how my stance is not being comprehended. I'm going to try this one more time....


#1.) Example One - 2008 Market Crash

Negative Event: The 2008 Market Crash

Explanation: This is a negative event, it's not a positive event. Period.

Positive Opportunity Within Negative Event: When the stock market crashes and hits the bottom, great companies are now trading at a significant discount, in combination with the fact that the Fed is looking at doing various measures to get the markets back going such as various forms of QE, lowering rates, etc. This means that stocks will rebound, so it's great to find valuable companies trading at a discount so we can obtain pretty good gains.

Conclusion: The 2008 Market Crash was a negative event, but within that negative event there were various positive opportunities for gain, profit, and career expansion.


#2.) Example Two - Divorce

Negative Event: A guy's wife is filing for divorce.

Explanation: This is a negative event, it's not a positive event. Period.

Positive Opportunity Within Negative Event: The marriage could have been a disaster, the woman could have been bleeding the guy dry, causing various mental health issues for him, etc., etc. So the opportunity here is to get out of a toxic relationship, pay the costs to do so (legal, alimony, etc) but move onto a better life potentially for the rest of his life and try not to repeat the same mistake again.

Conclusion: The divorce is a negative event, but within that negative event there were various positive opportunities for a better life ahead.


#3.) Example Three - Death

Negative Event: A person dies from cancer.

Explanation: This is a negative event, it's not a positive event. Period.

Positive Opportunity Within Negative Event: The person had been suffering for a long time with the cancer and had not lived a "full" life in a long time. Plus their family had to dig into their pockets to further support the person during this time. Now the person has gone onto the "other side" and is no longer in pain, their pain is gone. Also the family can now rest at night as their financials are no longer being strained and they can be comforted knowing that their loved one is no longer in pain.

Conclusion: The death is a negative event, but within that negative event there were various positive opportunities for personal comfort.

I think you are confusing making a positive event out of anything that happens, with taking the positive out of the event. The event is neither here or there, its how we handle/ let it shape us from that point forward. In effect I think we are basically saying the same thing.

- hithard if you believe that my posts are causing "newbies" distress, then maybe that newbie just needs to grow up? My stances have been consistent since day one. Tenacity posts on Sosuave so that I can get my thoughts on screen (I don't have a blog yet) and try to spark reasonable discussion on those thoughts. I'm not here to try and be someone else's role model, I have way too many things I have to work on and I'm in no position to be such role model lol.

Its not whether you choose to be or not, you are an influential poster. And there is an absolute ring of truth to all your posts when you are a newb. Stuff doesn't work, women don't notice, women will flake, ltrs are dangerous. But a lot of it is due to the amount of skin in the game, skill set. The forum did split right down the middle at one point imo.

Your point of view comes across as "I can't make it work therefore it doesn't work for anyone". There is a strong element of bitterness to some of your posts followed by half ****ed reasoning. Which in turn brings out the bitterness in others. I'm not saying stop posting at all. Just be aware.

- IF you believe this market of women as a whole is quality for a relationship, which means that over 50% of the women out here are QUALITY relationship material, then we are just going to disagree. From my experience, this market is SHYT, and it's not because all I date are "hood" women. I date all types of women, the women are shyt from a majority standpoint but like I said....it doesn't mean that you can't find decent quality within this shytty market. Note that when I say SHYT, I'm referring to relationship quality, not just getting laid.

You know yourself and know what you want in a woman. So lets look at the market.
When you were beta any woman that looked good you would probably ltr. The market was full of ltr material.
Then after a bit of experience you realize just grabbing any woman isn't such a great idea. So you cut a whole lot from the list and narrow the field down.

When you really know what you are looking for, then yes the numbers are $hit. Even worse is if you hit an area where the girls have a 'group think' going on, it's even harder if not impossible to find.
In my opinion not a lot has changed in terms of finding a girl with the right qualities. The market was always $hit from that perspective. But one mans trash is another mans treasure. What you reject- someone else is grabbing with both hands.
Your standards dictate the market(as they should).

- My goals here on out with women are to continue spinning decent plates. I've already decided not to get married, make children or live with women. It's not going to happen, I'm not doing ANY legal ties with women at all. If you guys disagree with that and want to get married, make kids, and live happily ever after, then that's your choice.

It's not going to be mine, I have done very honest analysis over my situation and I will NEVER (absolutely ever) enter into a legal agreement with a woman for a relationship EVER.

Nothing wrong with this at all. I completely understand where you are coming from- especially the financial aspect. No one is saying that you must get married. At this time I'm not interested in an ltr, I have to much going on and get a little bored beyond a certain point. I'm open to the idea though.

Just realize its a case of you not being able to make it work/ or it not making (financial) sense to you at this moment. Rather than the endless battle with evil women coming to take your money. What might not work for you at the moment is working well for a lot of others. Your experience, blog readings, or mgtow mantras are not everyone's reality. But if it works for you and you are happy with it, then by all means stick with it.

If anything this should be your kind of market. I have never found an easier time to find plates or ONS.

 

[Tenacity]

Tenacity, I'm not going to give up on you brother. I will not allow you to disagree with me. Not because I'm right, but because the way you think is not bringing you genuine happiness. Watch this video. The whole video. After watching, give me an analysis:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AJvEoLPLIg8

and this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P2nPI6CTlc

These are nice videos, I heard about Nick before even though I never actually listened to him speak before. That guy is a perfect example of keeping the BIG picture of things and being appreciative of even the smallest things in life.

Guru something that I haven't told you guys about me yet, but it's that I used to be a very devoted Christian. I still am a Christian, but when I say devoted I mean I would be in church just about 5 days out of the 7 in a week. This was from age 16 to about the age of 22.

The reason I STARTED attending church was because it was literally the only place at the time (16 - 22) that told me I was "worth" something. It was the only place that told me that I had value, I could make plans and become something, strive and achieve something. In every sense of the word, I got my confidence from Ministry. Also during this time I remember my Mother mocking me and making fun of me for attending church, even though it was the SAME CHURCH she beat me upside the head from ages 4 to 12 to get up and go to. I swear just thinking about that woman pisses me off.

I left the Church because all it became was a Motivational Speech, it wasn't enough to pull me out of my situation. I had a dead end job, no money, a broken down car, a bad family situation, I was very bitter with girls and having issues with them, and Church just was NOT addressing these real life issues.

When I left the Church, a downward spiral occurred. I went to jail twice, once for DUI and another for driving with a Suspended License. Then I hit a period of being homeless.

After that period, at the age of 23 (or you could say about 24) that's when my life started to swing back upward, but you know what made the CHANGE? It wasn't because I prayed, it wasn't because I thought so highly of myself, it was because I:

- Got serious about my finances and career
- Did a lot of reading, research, and strategic planning
- Used College to my advantage including the Low interest Student Loans
- Found various grant programs for further assistance

Before you know it at age 26, I had made it to the middle class and bought my first "new car".

The reason I'm so AGAINST this Church-Like overly Positive Thinking approach, is because I tried it before and it didn't help my situation. All it did was make me feel very good while being in pure and utter shyt.

 

[Tenacity]

I'm in BOLD

........Your point of view comes across as "I can't make it work therefore it doesn't work for anyone". There is a strong element of bitterness to some of your posts followed by half ****ed reasoning. Which in turn brings out the bitterness in others. I'm not saying stop posting at all. Just be aware.

I think you are 100% right that there is frustration, disappointment and bitterness in my analysis, and you are 100% right about that because it's TRUE. I will be the first to admit to you or anybody else, I am just getting through the final stages of an extreme ANGER stage in relation to my situation and standing with women, my family, my culture, etc.

I feel ripped off, I feel like an injustice has occurred, I feel left out, I feel skipped over.

What I've been doing to get out of the Anger Stage, was to have a very strong appreciation of Life in and of itself, no matter if it's fvcked up or not.

My life is not a BAD one right now, I have made strategic choices that have pulled myself into the Middle Class for the foreseeable future. But I can't lie to you or anybody else and tell you, that I'm not bitter as FVCK for what I went through.

I told you guys in another thread, that I would flat out just randomly go off, curse out and kick a chick out of my apartment over nothing....it's just that she might remind of me a chick that pissed me off before or I would blow a minimal thing out of proportion.

I'm still working on getting out of the Anger Phase.


You know yourself and know what you want in a woman. So lets look at the market.
When you were beta any woman that looked good you would probably ltr. The market was full of ltr material.
Then after a bit of experience you realize just grabbing any woman isn't such a great idea. So you cut a whole lot from the list and narrow the field down.

When you really know what you are looking for, then yes the numbers are $hit. Even worse is if you hit an area where the girls have a 'group think' going on, it's even harder if not impossible to find.
In my opinion not a lot has changed in terms of finding a girl with the right qualities. The market was always $hit from that perspective. But one mans trash is another mans treasure. What you reject- someone else is grabbing with both hands.
Your standards dictate the market(as they should).

I understand, some guys just have to comb through my Analysis to get the practical and I guess skip over the exaggerations. I try NOT to exaggerate things, I try to give fair and balanced assessment. You have legitimate issues out here such as The Family Court, nobody can argue with me that The Family Court is totally out of control. But perhaps when I say that 95% of the market is SHYT for relationship purposes, that's a bit of an exaggeration. I have no idea what the true ratio of quality or low quality is, I do know that I have received the bad end of the deal as the majority of my experiences have NOT been good.

Just realize its a case of you not being able to make it work/ or it not making (financial) sense to you at this moment.....Your experience, blog readings, or mgtow mantras are not everyone's reality....

I totally agree.

.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

These are nice videos, I heard about Nick before even though I never actually listened to him speak before. That guy is a perfect example of keeping the BIG picture of things and being appreciative of even the smallest things in life.

Guru something that I haven't told you guys about me yet, but it's that I used to be a very devoted Christian. I still am a Christian, but when I say devoted I mean I would be in church just about 5 days out of the 7 in a week. This was from age 16 to about the age of 22.

The reason I STARTED attending church was because it was literally the only place at the time (16 - 22) that told me I was "worth" something. It was the only place that told me that I had value, I could make plans and become something, strive and achieve something. In every sense of the word, I got my confidence from Ministry. Also during this time I remember my Mother mocking me and making fun of me for attending church, even though it was the SAME CHURCH she beat me upside the head from ages 4 to 12 to get up and go to. I swear just thinking about that woman pisses me off.

I left the Church because all it became was a Motivational Speech, it wasn't enough to pull me out of my situation. I had a dead end job, no money, a broken down car, a bad family situation, I was very bitter with girls and having issues with them, and Church just was NOT addressing these real life issues.

When I left the Church, a downward spiral occurred. I went to jail twice, once for DUI and another for driving with a Suspended License. Then I hit a period of being homeless.

After that period, at the age of 23 (or you could say about 24) that's when my life started to swing back upward, but you know what made the CHANGE? It wasn't because I prayed, it wasn't because I thought so highly of myself, it was because I:

- Got serious about my finances and career
- Did a lot of reading, research, and strategic planning
- Used College to my advantage including the Low interest Student Loans
- Found various grant programs for further assistance

Before you know it at age 26, I had made it to the middle class and bought my first "new car".

The reason I'm so AGAINST this Church-Like overly Positive Thinking approach, is because I tried it before and it didn't help my situation. All it did was make me feel very good while being in pure and utter shyt.

Church like positive thinking will keep you stuck in ****ty situations a very long time! It can hurt you badly.

It needs to be combined with real world such as sosuave. Sosuave breaks down the markets we are all attempting to have good "penetration" in, and all the loopholes and gotchas.

So I understand where you are coming from. That same thinking allowed me to take 2+ years of intentional abuse from my ex-wife. She knew I was loving and optimistic and was just wailing away daily. I still haven't restored all my ego and d1ck power.

It's like the ladies in that group in the area did a voodoo on me, where they where limiting my view and sticking me with a crappy attention to **** me...

I'm mostly out of it, I'm glad I'm here!

 

[hithard]

I'm in BOLD

You have everything going for you and once that switch flips you are going to be an unstoppable machine. Ten I only waste this many posts on guys with massive potential.

 

[guru1000]

The reason I'm so AGAINST this Church-Like overly Positive Thinking approach, is because I tried it before and it didn't help my situation. All it did was make me feel very good while being in pure and utter shyt.

I renounce religion—the social convention--altogether. Contemporaneously, though, I am a very spiritual person. I do believe in a creator. Just not the one painted in the bible(s).

You overcame your obstacles not because of religion, but because of your efforts. Cause and effect. Positive thinking really has nothing to do with cause and effect, outside of inspiring one to act and thus satisfying the cause prerequisite. It’s simply looking at the glass as half full rather than half empty with the cards that you are dealt, and as a result of seeing the glass half full--thus “feeling the progress”--continuing to act. And I do believe that as much as you may think you hate positive thinking, if you look deep inside, you will see that you have employed much positive thinking to get to where you are in life today, to help fuel your efforts, inspiration/motivation/drive to transcend your seemly debilitating circumstance. You turned your obstacles into opportunities. You turned your negative surroundings into positive accomplishments. That takes some tenacious willpower that can only be incited through positive fuel.

I couldn’t even keep a successful marriage and I’m lucky if I could inspire a handful of guys in this forum, but here comes Nick, a guy who has seemly every obstacle working against him and he finds the inspiration/drive to transcend his earthly circumstance to have a successful marriage, have children, and then go on to inspire millions across the globe. That’s a pretty powerful story. I look at what Nick possesses that I don’t. One attribute among many is humility. Nick learned humility in his life. He had no choice. I did. Humility is a very powerful tool if employed correctly. And here I am this morning concerned that my biceps weren’t that proportional to my delts. Lol. It’s all perspective.

Nick had every reason in the world to feel hopeless; to be angry, yet he found a way to transcend; he found a way to relinquish deleterious thinking habits and emotions and to incite inspiration to plow forward and act. That’s all we are talking about here. The game plan is the same. Your efforts are the same. Your critical thinking of risk/reward is the same. The only difference is looking deep inside and finding the positivity of the experience, relinquishing the negativity, and feeling empowered and inspired to continue to tenaciously plow and grow--exponentially--in all facets of life.

You’re on the right track buddy. These feelings have to be brought out and into consciousness to effectively treat them.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...The reason I'm so AGAINST this Church-Like overly Positive Thinking approach, is because I tried it before and it didn't help my situation. All it did was make me feel very good while being in pure and utter shyt.

What you're talking about is the way that certain people have faith. The faith that you're talking about is when people choose to have faith that someone else (including God) will solve a problem for them. The faith that we're talking about is having faith in yourself. Now they aren't necessarily mutually exclusive but only one holds you personally responsible on how you react to these situations.

Once again:

Positive Thinking (in the "Church-like" sense):

• "It'll work itself out..."
• "I hope for the best..."
• "If I keep trying, I'll eventually make it"

Critical/Rational Thinking (where you have accountability):

• "What's going on here and what is my part in it?"
• "How do I feel about what is happening and why do I feel this way?"
• "What can I do to change my part in this situation in order to make it work" and/or what insights can I learn from this to better myself?"

There is a distinct difference between the two but it takes personal accountability to critically accept that there is a difference.

 

[Tenacity]

What you're talking about is the way that certain people have faith. The faith that you're talking about is when people choose to have faith that someone else (including God) will solve a problem for them. The faith that we're talking about is having faith in yourself. Now they aren't necessarily mutually exclusive but only one holds you personally responsible on how you react to these situations.

...........There is a distinct difference between the two but it takes personal accountability to critically accept that there is a difference.

Like I said guys, for the last couple of pages we have been arguing semantics when in reality, we are saying the SAME THING just approaching it from a different angle.

Yes, my posts and threads come off very negative, but I have said over and over in this thread that I take the positive and the negative into consideration when making decisions.

It's just funny how you guys are against the Church's way of Positive Thinking lol, when in a lot of ways you guys subscribe to a very similar approach. You have been preaching as if you were going to tell me to go read "The Secret", which is the Law of Attraction. Well, that's all the Church is doing today with the Prosperity Gospel. The Prosperity Gospel is essentially the Law of Attraction with a Bible verse tied to it:

"You want to be blessed financially? God said as a man think in his heart, so is he, so BELIEVE you are blessed financially and blessings will eventually come if you stay on the right path!"

Guru the video about Nick is mainly Nick preaching the Prosperity Gospel. The foundation of his motivational speaking is The Bible. But yet, you guys are saying you are against that but yet you advocate for it lol?

But like I said, I know damn well that Guru is a business guy so he HAS to incorporate the rational/critical thinking that I'm discussing. You guys are just preferring to argue the semantics (I don't like the way you are saying that Tenacity) of a conclusion that we both agree to, and that conclusion is that even in Negative Events there are Positive Opportunities for gain, profit and comfort, it's all about being able to realize/be aware of those Positive Opportunities.

If we both end up at the same conclusion, isn't that what truly matters? Does it really matter if I decided to take a different road to get there lol?