This Market Of Women/Recommendations

[DaddyLongShanks]

No you can incorporate the bible and god and jesus... But god doesn't help those who don't help themselves. So it's used to build a powerful ball of positivity that's resilient.

However you have to be aware of the terrain and politics you are dealing with and make decisions whether it's best to invest in there or not. So to be on this world you have to be aware of worldly ways and know how to work with it.

 

[guru1000]

"You want to be blessed financially? God said as a man think in his heart, so is he, so BELIEVE you are blessed financially and blessings will eventually come if you stay on the right path!"

Tenacity, just to be clear. I cannot speak for the others, but I am not against the church's positive way of thinking as you describe it. I just do not believe in the facts the bible delineates (Adam & Eve, etc.); though, I do believe in the message or spirit it strives to attain. What you describe in the quote above is very empowering. Just understand the "right path" to mean analysis, action, discipline, tenacity--and the most important--doing good upon others a/k/a providing "real" services.

As in the quoted passage:

I DO believe that as I think I shall become
I DO believe in me
I DO believe I am blessed financially
I DO believe that any financial success I attained was a result of my efforts but have only occurred as the "energies" to be have allowed it
I DO believe in the golden rule

See, it's not mutually exclusive. One can be spiritual but also practical.

I think we covered a lot in this thread. I only have one question left for you:

If we both end up at the same conclusion, isn't that what truly matters? Does it really matter if I decided to take a different road to get there lol?

I thought about this quoted question last night. You mentioned that you succeeded because your back was against the wall: you had no choice or you would be homeless. That is fear-based motivation. Fear is a powerful emotion indeed. But, has your motivation always been fear-based or were there times in the journey when you were inspired to act with positive emotions?

 

[ZTIME]

Like I said guys, for the last couple of pages we have been arguing semantics when in reality, we are saying the SAME THING just approaching it from a different angle.

Yes, my posts and threads come off very negative, but I have said over and over in this thread that I take the positive and the negative into consideration when making decisions.

It's just funny how you guys are against the Church's way of Positive Thinking lol, when in a lot of ways you guys subscribe to a very similar approach. You have been preaching as if you were going to tell me to go read "The Secret", which is the Law of Attraction. Well, that's all the Church is doing today with the Prosperity Gospel. The Prosperity Gospel is essentially the Law of Attraction with a Bible verse tied to it:

"You want to be blessed financially? God said as a man think in his heart, so is he, so BELIEVE you are blessed financially and blessings will eventually come if you stay on the right path!"

Guru the video about Nick is mainly Nick preaching the Prosperity Gospel. The foundation of his motivational speaking is The Bible. But yet, you guys are saying you are against that but yet you advocate for it lol?

But like I said, I know damn well that Guru is a business guy so he HAS to incorporate the rational/critical thinking that I'm discussing. You guys are just preferring to argue the semantics (I don't like the way you are saying that Tenacity) of a conclusion that we both agree to, and that conclusion is that even in Negative Events there are Positive Opportunities for gain, profit and comfort, it's all about being able to realize/be aware of those Positive Opportunities.

If we both end up at the same conclusion, isn't that what truly matters? Does it really matter if I decided to take a different road to get there lol?

I think you're missing one very important item in your belief of religion vs. positive thinking.

Religion teaches you that all things are possible through god, where positive thinking forces you to push through life and achieve goals on your own. Our society has taken both gods and prophets and turned them into crutches so that we may all sin yet have some promise of forgiveness in the next life. This mentality unfortunately breeds failure. Why succeed or do the right thing when I can just pray or go see a priest to absolve me of my misgivings?

Fighting to get out of you homeless situation was not a religious endeavor, it was Tenacity fighting for a better place in this world. And yes, this was a negative event turned into a positive opportunity. Not that you are not homeless, but that you learned to stand up on your own two feet and fight.

I don't think that you did all of this so that at the end of the road you would turn out to despise the surroundings that you fought so hard to achieve.

Be careful when confusing praying to god and worshiping yourself. One totally implies a built in dependency on an outside entity.

Before it's questioned: this is not an anti religious rant. I went to school to be a Baptist preacher for several years. It just wasn't the right path for me to follow.

 

[Tenacity]

No you can incorporate the bible and god and jesus... But god doesn't help those who don't help themselves. So it's used to build a powerful ball of positivity that's resilient.

However you have to be aware of the terrain and politics you are dealing with and make decisions whether it's best to invest in there or not. So to be on this world you have to be aware of worldly ways and know how to work with it.

DLS,

This is exactly what my message has been though buddy lol. I mean word for word, that's my message and mantra.


I'm in BOLD

Tenacity, just to be clear. I cannot speak for the others, but I am not against the church's positive way of thinking as you describe it. I just do not believe in the facts the bible delineates (Adam & Eve, etc.); though, I do believe in the message or spirit it strives to attain. What you describe in the quote above is very empowering. Just understand the "right path" to mean analysis, action, discipline, tenacity--and the most important--doing good upon others a/k/a providing "real" services.

Lol, Guru actually that's NOT what they mean. What the Church talks about is that you can't do anything without Christ, so basically you have to wait for Christ to give you the strength, the wisdom, the resources, etc. to be able to do something. That's why everytime there's a "crisis" or a "challenge", they go running on their knees or running into the church to pray about it.

I'm of the camp that God has already done what he is going to do (in terms of bringing me here) and it's up to ME to round up the resources, people, property, plans, etc. to bring forth my visions. It's like, to me, God is sitting up in Heaven looking down at these wimpy Christians who cry to him 24/7 about their problems, instead of getting up and DOING something about their problems.

....One can be spiritual but also practical.

I consider myself a Spiritual Person but not a Religious Person. Have you guys ever heard of Esoteric Science? My friend Lee Bladon wrote a book entitled The Science of Spirituality (www.esotericscience.org, check out his website for a good overview.


I think we covered a lot in this thread. I only have one question left for you:

I thought about this quoted question last night. You mentioned that you succeeded because your back was against the wall: you had no choice or you would be homeless. That is fear-based motivation. Fear is a powerful emotion indeed. But, has your motivation always been fear-based or were there times in the journey when you were inspired to act with positive emotions?

My motivation is purpose based. The definition of Motivation is to have a strong reason to ACT or accomplish something (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/motivation).

My motivation is purpose based which is part circumstance and part spiritual. A lot of what I do career wise is what I believe spiritually is what my "Source" (or God) wants me to do, I believe that God gives us raw talents that the Global free market allows us to transform into skills, to serve a particular market segment's demand.

Not being within a Free Market System makes it impossible to fulfill your individual purpose but instead one becomes more of a property to another, rather than an individual free being. The US Declaration of Independence promotes this concept, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

I do not "feel" inspired, or happy, or peaceful, or joyful ALL of the time. A good amount of time I don't want to get the hell out of the bed to be honest with you. Some days I'm moody as hell. Some days I'm worrisome. Some days I'm happy as FVCK.

But no matter how I'm feeling, my a.ss is still getting up and continuing the objectives for that day, that week, and that month. I have a personal (and spiritual) mission, and that's what drives me.

It's what drove me out of homelessness and bad financial management. It's what drove me through college (MBA and 3 bachelor's degrees), it's what drove me to a solid credit score, a six figure credit line availability, being solidly in the middle class, getting my body right, getting my new plate acquisition process right, and getting my financial picture right as I'm on the right path to my self-made millionaire goal. All of this while at the same time serving the market that I believe I am PURPOSED to serve.

Even posting on SoSuave for me has a specific purpose, as I mentioned I'm not here to be a role model for newbies, there's enough of those already. I'm honestly here to link up with guys who were "like me" in that they were financially sound guys who were going through crap with women and might also have been going through crap from society (workplace, friends and family). My goal is to LEARN something from you guys, not really to teach as much, because when I hang with other guys I always strategically pick guys that I can LEARN something from.

 

[Tenacity]

I think you're missing one very important item in your belief of religion vs. positive thinking.

Religion teaches you that all things are possible through god, where positive thinking forces you to push through life and achieve goals on your own. Our society has taken both gods and prophets and turned them into crutches so that we may all sin yet have some promise of forgiveness in the next life. This mentality unfortunately breeds failure. Why succeed or do the right thing when I can just pray or go see a priest to absolve me of my misgivings?

Fighting to get out of you homeless situation was not a religious endeavor, it was Tenacity fighting for a better place in this world. And yes, this was a negative event turned into a positive opportunity. Not that you are not homeless, but that you learned to stand up on your own two feet and fight.

I don't think that you did all of this so that at the end of the road you would turn out to despise the surroundings that you fought so hard to achieve.

Be careful when confusing praying to god and worshiping yourself. One totally implies a built in dependency on an outside entity.

Before it's questioned: this is not an anti religious rant. I went to school to be a Baptist preacher for several years. It just wasn't the right path for me to follow.

I agree 100% with you my friend

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

Sosuave is awesome. We keep raising the bar.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

If we both end up at the same conclusion, isn't that what truly matters? Does it really matter if I decided to take a different road to get there lol?

(disclaimer: Harsh words ahead!)

Therein lies the rub. You ARE NOT going to the same destination. You recently decided (by your own admission across various threads and posts) that you've CHANGED your destination. From wanting a serious, family based relationship to only wanting to spin plates and build wealth.

From what I can see, you had a goal, (a traditional, family based relationship) you came up against an obstacle (a sh!tty market) and you've GIVEN UP YOUR GOAL.

You made the SAME CRUCIAL ERROR that WEAK MEN have been making SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME.

And that is this:

I TRIED to get what I want.

I CAN'T get what I want.

Therefore, it's IMPOSSIBLE to get what I want.

Then you POINT THE FINGER the same place every other WEAK MAN has been pointing it since the dawn of time.

OUTSIDE THEMSELVES.

It's the market, it's the economy, it's the current state of society, it's the bankers, it's black women, it's whatever.

ANYTHING BUT YOU.

Well guess what buddy? Life is fvcking hard. It ALWAYS HAS BEEN.

You don't get the good stuff without a FVCKING SH!TLOAD of effort.

It NEVER has been easy and it NEVER will be easy.

You went from homeless to a nice neighborhood? FANTASTIC. Many people would have given up. You didn't. But guess what? A lot of other guys had it WORSE than you and DID EVEN BETTER. (Not many, to be sure, but you're not exactly breaking new ground!)

You went from a sh!tty family to a decent job, well on your way to riches? EXCELLENT! Many people cry in their soup and NEVER get past the emotional pain from childhood. But then again, MANY DO. You aren't alone. You aren't special.

But guess what buddy? Building a stable, family based relationship with a high quality woman takes MORE EFFORT THAN ALL OF THAT.

Where does that effort come in?

In the SORTING.

In the QUALIFYING.

In the ENDLESS SCREENING of low quality candidates to find that one golden girl in million.

From what I see, all you are doing is dating and fvcking LOW QUALITY CANDIDATES and then complaining about the market.

Why do you CONTINUE to date low quality candidates?

Why are you not DISQUALIFYING them within the first ten minutes of meeting them?

Since you LOVE market metaphors, here's one:

--begin metaphor---

Your behavior in the female market is like a guy who buys a stock without doing much research (e.g. qualifying the particular girl) watches the stock tank, and then does the same thing OVER AND OVER.

And then complains how the market is rigged!

How about buying a stock and then SELLING IT if it drops 1 or 2%

------end metaphor-----

I know you think that because you GET LAID you've got ultra tight game, therefore it's the fault of the MARKET you can't get what you want.

But PLEASE consider this (not necessarily for you but for all the other guys reading this in your same position)

The game required to GET LAID (level I game) is NOT the same level of game required to find Miss Tenacity, and have little Tenacities. (level II game).

You have MAD money making skills. That much is proven.

You have MAD level I game. You can get laid. Congratulations.

Your level II game SUCKS A$$!

Are you going to GIVE UP? And be happy with level I game?

Or are you going to KEEP FIGHTING to MASTER level II? It may take YEARS!

Are You Willing?

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

(disclaimer: Harsh words ahead!)

Therein lies the rub. You ARE NOT going to the same destination. You recently decided (by your own admission across various threads and posts) that you've CHANGED your destination. From wanting a serious, family based relationship to only wanting to spin plates and build wealth.

From what I can see, you had a goal, (a traditional, family based relationship) you came up against an obstacle (a sh!tty market) and you've GIVEN UP YOUR GOAL.

You made the SAME CRUCIAL ERROR that WEAK MEN have been making SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME.

And that is this:

I TRIED to get what I want.

I CAN'T get what I want.

Therefore, it's IMPOSSIBLE to get what I want.

Then you POINT THE FINGER the same place every other WEAK MAN has been pointing it since the dawn of time.

OUTSIDE THEMSELVES.

It's the market, it's the economy, it's the current state of society, it's the bankers, it's black women, it's whatever.

ANYTHING BUT YOU.

Well guess what buddy? Life is fvcking hard. It ALWAYS HAS BEEN.

You don't get the good stuff without a FVCKING SH!TLOAD of effort.

It NEVER has been easy and it NEVER will be easy.

You went from homeless to a nice neighborhood? FANTASTIC. Many people would have given up. You didn't. But guess what? A lot of other guys had it WORSE than you and DID EVEN BETTER. (Not many, to be sure, but you're not exactly breaking new ground!)

You went from a sh!tty family to a decent job, well on your way to riches? EXCELLENT! Many people cry in their soup and NEVER get past the emotional pain from childhood. But then again, MANY DO. You aren't alone. You aren't special.

But guess what buddy? Building a stable, family based relationship with a high quality woman takes MORE EFFORT THAN ALL OF THAT.

Where does that effort come in?

In the SORTING.

In the QUALIFYING.

In the ENDLESS SCREENING of low quality candidates to find that one golden girl in million.

From what I see, all you are doing is dating and fvcking LOW QUALITY CANDIDATES and then complaining about the market.

Why do you CONTINUE to date low quality candidates?

Why are you not DISQUALIFYING them within the first ten minutes of meeting them?

Since you LOVE market metaphors, here's one:

--begin metaphor---

Your behavior in the female market is like a guy who buys a stock without doing much research (e.g. qualifying the particular girl) watches the stock tank, and then does the same thing OVER AND OVER.

And then complains how the market is rigged!

How about buying a stock and then SELLING IT if it drops 1 or 2%

------end metaphor-----

I know you think that because you GET LAID you've got ultra tight game, therefore it's the fault of the MARKET you can't get what you want.

But PLEASE consider this (not necessarily for you but for all the other guys reading this in your same position)

The game required to GET LAID (level I game) is NOT the same level of game required to find Miss Tenacity, and have little Tenacities. (level II game).

You have MAD money making skills. That much is proven.

You have MAD level I game. You can get laid. Congratulations.

Your level II game SUCKS A$$!

Are you going to GIVE UP? And be happy with level I game?

Or are you going to KEEP FIGHTING to MASTER level II? It may take YEARS!

Are You Willing?

The kinda lady to be Mrs Tenacity might not even be a "hot girl". It might be a stable and balanced WOMAN. If she likes you she will make it "easy" until you **** up. You don't have to play games on these types of women. A small amount of game to maintain attraction but they want a reliable man. LTR game with a "good woman" is an entirely different game than banging a whole bunch of h0es. Your "good woman" might not even "look" like your "type".

I do not think you need to be more on guard with someone you partner with in this manner, but you might be mindful of your image because they will see you a lot and they can't unsee things.

Still a rightful WOMAN who loves you can see a whole bunch of weakness and love your dirty drawers. She will learn to do the things you need in the bedroom to keep you pleased. A right woman will also be loyal, and she should make your life easier. She should not be 100% liability.

 

[Tenacity]

I made an initial response to this, but you know I don't think that it was a very good response because I got a little ticked off lol. Hey, sometimes I wake up on the wrong side of bed...who doesn't lol?

So let's try this again, I'm in BOLD

(disclaimer: Harsh words ahead!)

Therein lies the rub. You ARE NOT going to the same destination. You recently decided (by your own admission across various threads and posts) that you've CHANGED your destination. From wanting a serious, family based relationship to only wanting to spin plates and build wealth.

From what I can see, you had a goal, (a traditional, family based relationship) you came up against an obstacle (a sh!tty market) and you've GIVEN UP YOUR GOAL.

You made the SAME CRUCIAL ERROR that WEAK MEN have been making SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME.

I had the goal of getting married and making kids based only on society based programming, there was no rational thought, logic, or research behind it. When I actually got serious about getting married and making children, I began to research the various laws in place. I realized that the laws were not efficient. Relationships (even loving ones) sometimes will end and my chances of staying married forever in a happy marriage is a low probability (it can happen, but chances are low).

After looking at the overall picture (positives and negatives as I told you guys), I decided that Marriage was not for me. I later decided making children was not for me and that's why the decision to get the vasectomy was done.


And that is this:

I TRIED to get what I want.

I CAN'T get what I want.

Therefore, it's IMPOSSIBLE to get what I want.

Then you POINT THE FINGER the same place every other WEAK MAN has been pointing it since the dawn of time.

OUTSIDE THEMSELVES.

It's the market, it's the economy, it's the current state of society, it's the bankers, it's black women, it's whatever.

ANYTHING BUT YOU.

I just addressed this, I didn't opt out of Marriage and making Children because I was afraid of the challenges of being a Husband and a Father. I opted out due mainly to the laws in place.


Well guess what buddy? Life is fvcking hard. It ALWAYS HAS BEEN.

You don't get the good stuff without a FVCKING SH!TLOAD of effort.

It NEVER has been easy and it NEVER will be easy.


Why do you assume I will have a "good life" (good stuff analogy) by making kids and getting married? Do you know how many Men are in horrible marriages or have marriages end horribly? Do you know how many Man have children that DON'T speak to them?


You went from homeless to a nice neighborhood? FANTASTIC. Many people would have given up. You didn't. But guess what? A lot of other guys had it WORSE than you and DID EVEN BETTER. (Not many, to be sure, but you're not exactly breaking new ground!)

No, it's not new ground, but understand I had a lot of adversity and most people would NOT be where I am today. That's a fact, not based on my opinion, based on research of people living in subpar conditions in Flint, MI.

You went from a sh!tty family to a decent job, well on your way to riches? EXCELLENT! Many people cry in their soup and NEVER get past the emotional pain from childhood. But then again, MANY DO. You aren't alone. You aren't special.

You are significantly decreasing the extent of the situation here. I am very much special. I have a very fvcked up family situation, a fvcked up culture, I was homeless and knew NOTHING about finances, college, financial management, etc. I taught myself, researched myself, opened a business myself, and pulled MYSELF out of that hole. That is a very special situation and it does not happen everyday.

But guess what buddy? Building a stable, family based relationship with a high quality woman takes MORE EFFORT THAN ALL OF THAT.

Where does that effort come in?

In the SORTING.

In the QUALIFYING.

In the ENDLESS SCREENING of low quality candidates to find that one golden girl in million.

I said the market was low quality but you could still find women of somewhat decent quality. You are saying the SAME THING, because if the market wasn't as low quality as I claim, then why would you need to do a high amount of screening, sorting, qualifying and even endless screening? Why would you need to do that if the market wasn't (as I stated) LOW QUALITY as a whole in terms of decent relationships?


From what I see, all you are doing is dating and fvcking LOW QUALITY CANDIDATES and then complaining about the market.

Why do you CONTINUE to date low quality candidates?

Why are you not DISQUALIFYING them within the first ten minutes of meeting them?

Low quality is in the eyes of the beholder. Quality to me (as I already stated) is a girl that resembles more of the 1950's woman have being attractive, supportive and loyal. On top of this, I add in a good personality, good finances, not a lot of kids from worthless dudes, etc.

I have met some decent women, I have. But the vast majority have been shyt.


Since you LOVE market metaphors, here's one:

--begin metaphor---

Your behavior in the female market is like a guy who buys a stock without doing much research (e.g. qualifying the particular girl) watches the stock tank, and then does the same thing OVER AND OVER.

And then complains how the market is rigged!

How about buying a stock and then SELLING IT if it drops 1 or 2%

------end metaphor-----

No, I'm not operating like that at all. How I'm operating is when a chick is relatively attractive I approach her (in person or online). From there, I find out more about her after she's established interest, and I sort the women that I want to potentially have a relationship with, or just have sex with.

I'm very much qualifying, sorting and screening for my own criteria.


I know you think that because you GET LAID you've got ultra tight game, therefore it's the fault of the MARKET you can't get what you want.

But PLEASE consider this (not necessarily for you but for all the other guys reading this in your same position)

The game required to GET LAID (level I game) is NOT the same level of game required to find Miss Tenacity, and have little Tenacities. (level II game).

You have MAD money making skills. That much is proven.

You have MAD level I game. You can get laid. Congratulations.

Your level II game SUCKS A$$!

Are you going to GIVE UP? And be happy with level I game?

Or are you going to KEEP FIGHTING to MASTER level II? It may take YEARS!

Are You Willing?

I disagree with you that I don't have game in terms of relationships, why? Because I have been in decent relationships lol. When did you ever see me say that the entire market was fvcked up? When did you ever see me say, that 100% of the women out here are bullshyt? When did I say this, can you quote it and post it?

What I have been saying since I started posting here, was that the majority of the market was shyt, that's not the entire market. I believe the same on the guy side of things, most guys aren't shyt. Most guys aren't motivated, ambitious, goal-oriented, workout, or strive for SHYT in life. I know a lot of guys that live off their women.

 

[Tenacity]

I'm in BOLD

The kinda lady to be Mrs Tenacity might not even be a "hot girl". It might be a stable and balanced WOMAN. If she likes you she will make it "easy" until you **** up. You don't have to play games on these types of women. A small amount of game to maintain attraction but they want a reliable man. LTR game with a "good woman" is an entirely different game than banging a whole bunch of h0es. Your "good woman" might not even "look" like your "type".

I have noticed that women with the looks of a 4 or 5, were much more mannered in relationships than women who were 7 and 8. My sweet spot is the woman with the looks of a 6.

I do not think you need to be more on guard with someone you partner with in this manner, but you might be mindful of your image because they will see you a lot and they can't unsee things.

Still a rightful WOMAN who loves you can see a whole bunch of weakness and love your dirty drawers. She will learn to do the things you need in the bedroom to keep you pleased. A right woman will also be loyal, and she should make your life easier. She should not be 100% liability.

DLS but you went through a divorce, why are you so positive about this? Having gone through a divorce you should know FIRST HAND that women can change on you, flip on you, and that the woman at the beginning might not be the same at the end.

It's why I'm not getting married, relationships are no longer based on survival but instead based on "like" and "entertainment". The moment someone isn't getting it their way, they can leave through the No Fault Divorce Option.

But the marriage contract is based on a lifetime relationship, which creates all of these financial issues at divorce.

I'm for civil unions, when someone is in love let them sign a "Committed Relationship Agreement" to get all of the legal/financial/tax benefits of marriage, but if they break up and want to leave, it should be a very easy and non-bankrupting process.

 

[Desdinova]

I'm going to throw my own two cents in here because I'm finding myself on an identical course as Tenacity.

But guess what buddy? Building a stable, family based relationship with a high quality woman takes MORE EFFORT THAN ALL OF THAT.

Where does that effort come in?

In the SORTING.

In the QUALIFYING.

In the ENDLESS SCREENING of low quality candidates to find that one golden girl in million.

There's a few problems with this type of logic. First of all, there's a lot of "fools gold" out there. I've been involved with a few women who I thought would turn out to be that one golden girl. After a significant amount of time passed, it just turned out to be fools gold once again.

I've lost count of how many women I've dated. The funny part about that is there's guys who've dated no more than five women in their entire lives, and they end up marrying their "soul mate". Many will divorce, some will not, and only time will tell.

Now here's Sosuave, home to many guys who've dated and fvcked more than five women in their lives. The more we date, the more we realize there's no "soul mate", the more we realize that women are pretty much interchangeable.

The bottom line to all of this is time. Time is something we spend and cannot get back. We can either waste our lifetime looking for that "one golden girl" who may or may not exist amongst the fools gold, or we can enjoy the woman who's in our current vicinity for what she is; A companion who may or may not be temporary. From experience, the odds are in the favor of her being temporary.

With such terrible odds which are on par with winning the lottery, why should we stress ourselves out with the whole qualifying process? Why not enjoy the current woman (or women) in our lives until they start to spoil? If one by some chance doesn't spoil, then we're lucky. However, that is the exception to the rule. Enjoy what's in the current vicinity instead of worrying about what may not happen in the future.

Therein lies the rub. You ARE NOT going to the same destination. You recently decided (by your own admission across various threads and posts) that you've CHANGED your destination. From wanting a serious, family based relationship to only wanting to spin plates and build wealth.

From what I can see, you had a goal, (a traditional, family based relationship) you came up against an obstacle (a sh!tty market) and you've GIVEN UP YOUR GOAL.

You made the SAME CRUCIAL ERROR that WEAK MEN have been making SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME.

And that is this:

I TRIED to get what I want.

I CAN'T get what I want.

Therefore, it's IMPOSSIBLE to get what I want.

Then you POINT THE FINGER the same place every other WEAK MAN has been pointing it since the dawn of time.

Adapting to the current social climate is NOT the weak thing to do. It's the most intelligent thing one can do in order to survive and succeed. We can either spend an eternity trying to hammer a square peg into a round hole, or we can cut the round hole to make it fit the square peg. Adapting ensures successful survival.

That being said, I'm not sure if Tenacity should give up the ghost on being a father just yet. Having a loving stay-at-home wife isn't really feasible in today's social climate, but there are ways to successfully have children without betting your finances and emotions on a woman who may be fools gold. Remember, society is promoting "equality" for all genders which means men can be single fathers if they choose to do so. If you want to have kids, exploit what society has provided for women. If you can't get it, go to the media and bytch about not getting equal and fair treatment. As long as you're not trashing women in the process, you should be able to get what you want.

 

[guru1000]

Couple points.

First you say:

Me personally, my motivation to succeed came about because it was either sink or swim. Either I was going to go to college and get a career, or I was going to be a bum, probably in and out of jail, or dead by 30.

Then you say:

My motivation is purpose based. My motivation is purpose based which is part circumstance and part spiritual.

No contradiction. I do believe both foregoing quotes are true. In the beginning, your purpose was fear-based, back-against-the-approach, as how could you be driven by spritual purpose if you were homeless. Fight or flight response is engaged.

As you graduated higher in the “Abraham Maslow Hierarchy of Needs” spectrum, your motivation transmuted into purpose. BTW living life with “purpose” is a “positive” catalyst.

You bashed “positive thinking” in many threads, including this, confounding “positive” with “church” thinking only to discover that you do employ positive thinking yourself.

But let’s delve a little deeper into the rabbit hole:

"You want to be blessed financially? God said as a man think in his heart, so is he, so BELIEVE you are blessed financially and blessings will eventually come if you stay on the right path!"

Tenacity Logic: Staying in the “right path” alone will not achieve financial success, thus the whole passage is untrue and thus must be negated.

Guru Logic: I like the spirit of this passage. How can I use this logic to enhance my life? Living the “right path” has many interpretations. Let’s understand “right path” to mean analysis, action, discipline, tenacity, and golden rule.

Therein lies the rub. You ARE NOT going to the same destination. You recently decided (by your own admission across various threads and posts) that you've CHANGED your destination. From wanting a serious, family based relationship to only wanting to spin plates and build wealth.]
From what I can see, you had a goal, (a traditional, family based relationship) you came up against an obstacle (a sh!tty market) and you've GIVEN UP YOUR GOAL.

Tenacity Logic: I had the goal of getting married and making kids based only on society based programming, there was no rational thought, logic, or research behind it. When I actually got serious about getting married and making children, I began to research the various laws in place. I realized that the laws were not efficient. Relationships (even loving ones) sometimes will end and my chances of staying married forever in a happy marriage is a low probability (it can happen, but chances are low).

After looking at the overall picture (positives and negatives as I told you guys), I decided that Marriage was not for me. I later decided making children was not for me and that's why the decision to get the vasectomy was done.

Guru Logic: From my observation of Taiyuu_Otoko, he has always been a man of logic and true intellect. He solicits qualifying women vigorously to find one contender worthy of my time. Family-based relationship has myriad interpretations. Given the risks of a marriage contract, how can I use this recommendation to advance my aim. Perhaps, a family-based relationship outside of marriage. Got it!

Tenacity, next you might counter with that is not what Taiyuu meant. I argue that the issue of “marriage” was not the intent of Taiyuu’s message, so your interpretation of his pushing a marriage contract is erroneous.

Whether you wish to call it negative thinking or critical thinking errors doesn’t change that you need to explore your internal dialogue a bit deeper to unearth the source of its intermittent deleterious-thinking interpretations.

 

[Tenacity]

I'm in BOLD

Couple points.

First you say:
Originally Posted by Tenacity
Me personally, my motivation to succeed came about because it was either sink or swim. Either I was going to go to college and get a career, or I was going to be a bum, probably in and out of jail, or dead by 30.

Then you say:
Originally Posted by Tenacity
My motivation is purpose based. My motivation is purpose based which is part circumstance and part spiritual.

No contradiction. I do believe both foregoing quotes are true. In the beginning, your purpose was fear-based, back-against-the-approach, as how could you be driven by spritual purpose if you were homeless. Fight or flight response is engaged.

As you graduated higher in the “Abraham Maslow Hierarchy of Needs” spectrum, your motivation transmuted into purpose. BTW living life with “purpose” is a “positive” catalyst.

You bashed “positive thinking” in many threads, including this, confounding “positive” with “church” thinking only to discover that you do employ positive thinking yourself.

Our semantics is what's causing the confusion. We don't define Positive Thinking the same. You define Positive Thinking like the people at Leading Personality (https://leadingpersonality.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/what-is-positive-thinking/) which is more in line of The Secret, The Law of Attraction and the Prosperity Gospel preached in Church, all three are apart of the New Thought Movement (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Thought). Your focus is on an Attitude Adjustment, which is why you prompted me to view Nick's Youtube video about an Attitude Adjustment (Attitude is Altitude).

I define Positive Thinking more in line with the people at Positive Psychology (http://positivepsychologyprogram.com/positive-thinking/), which focuses on a balanced thought procedure examining the realities of something and seeking to dig up the "Positive" opportunities. Check out their website, they pretty much go over more information on the Thought Process I have been promoting in this thread.




But let’s delve a little deeper into the rabbit hole:
"You want to be blessed financially? God said as a man think in his heart, so is he, so BELIEVE you are blessed financially and blessings will eventually come if you stay on the right path!"


Tenacity Logic: Staying in the “right path” alone will not achieve financial success, thus the whole passage is untrue and thus must be negated.

Guru Logic: I like the spirit of this passage. How can I use this logic to enhance my life? Living the “right path” has many interpretations. Let’s understand “right path” to mean analysis, action, discipline, tenacity, and golden rule.

Notice how you had to give meaning to the passage because it contains a significant amount of ambiguity? Check this out now, the Prosperity Gospel/New Thought Movement says that if you want to be blessed financially, God said as a man thinketh so is he, so start believing you are blessed financially and blessings will come if you stay on the right path. Break this down for a minute. What does blessed financially mean? Does that mean making $50k a year? $100k a year? Being debt-free? What is the right path? Is that majoring in a liberal art like Communications and going out into the job force at graduation, not finding any decent jobs, but just continuing to look for jobs based on that liberal art degree and eventually you will stumble into a decent job? Or, is the right path majoring in IT? Or is the right path trying to work on Wallstreet? Or, is the right path robbing a bank?


Tenacity Logic: I had the goal of getting married and making kids based only on society based programming, there was no rational thought, logic, or research behind it. When I actually got serious about getting married and making children, I began to research the various laws in place. I realized that the laws were not efficient. Relationships (even loving ones) sometimes will end and my chances of staying married forever in a happy marriage is a low probability (it can happen, but chances are low). After looking at the overall picture (positives and negatives as I told you guys), I decided that Marriage was not for me. I later decided making children was not for me and that's why the decision to get the vasectomy was done.

Guru Logic: From my observation of Taiyuu_Otoko, he has always been a man of logic and true intellect. He solicits qualifying women vigorously to find one contender worthy of my time. Family-based relationship has myriad interpretations. Given the risks of a marriage contract, how can I use this recommendation to advance my aim. Perhaps, a family-based relationship outside of marriage. Got it!

Yes, but read over what you just posted again. His goal might be a family based relationship, where my goal might be only to spin plates. What Taiyuu said (which drew me back a bit) was that I was a kin to the Weak Man in life that has an initial goal, tries to obtain it, sees the challenges of obtaining it, and then backs out of his goal. That's not what happened with me at all. First of all, my goal to get married and have kids wasn't a real goal, a real goal is based on the SMART technique (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMART_criteria). So I think I misspoke when I said it was my initial goal, in actuality it was just something I had in mind based SOLELY on what you are TOLD you are "supposed to be doing" once you get older. A Sosuave poster named Pook called this, "The Way". When I actually sat down, got serious, and starting researching to plan out IF I'm going to go down this route...I realized that getting married and making children should not be my goal. It's a personal choice, for me, I'm a bachelor for life and childless for life.

Tenacity, next you might counter with that is not what Taiyuu meant. I argue that the issue of “marriage” was not the intent of Taiyuu’s message, so your interpretation of his pushing a marriage contract is erroneous.

Whether you wish to call it negative thinking or critical thinking errors doesn’t change that you need to explore your internal dialogue a bit deeper to unearth the source of its intermittent deleterious-thinking interpretations.

I'm still trying to figure out how my Thought Patterns are harming me? I'm solid financially, health wise, you know about my progression with my workout plan, my credit is solid, my social life is solid, I'm dating new women all the time, I have a phone full of women contacts, most women say I'm attractive, I have a solid professional network (we can link on LinkedIn if you want), my car is great, the place I stay is great, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I eat right, I can go on and on. My Thought Patterns and ways of Thinking got me where I'm at, I'm not seeing any physical symptoms of a disease causing Thought Pattern? Can you point it out to me?

 

[hithard]

I'm still trying to figure out how my Thought Patterns are harming me? I'm solid financially, health wise, you know about my progression with my workout plan, my credit is solid, my social life is solid, I'm dating new women all the time, I have a phone full of women contacts, most women say I'm attractive, I have a solid professional network (we can link on LinkedIn if you want), my car is great, the place I stay is great, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I eat right, I can go on and on. My Thought Patterns and ways of Thinking got me where I'm at, I'm not seeing any physical symptoms of a disease causing Thought Pattern? Can you point it out to me?

It manifests in your posts and advice. Look, I know these forums can be a place to vent. But your posts did have a consistent theme.
However everything else you mentioned seems to be on track.

Taiyuu_otoko posts are always filled with gold when you break them down.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

There's a few problems with this type of logic. First of all, there's a lot of "fools gold" out there. I've been involved with a few women who I thought would turn out to be that one golden girl. After a significant amount of time passed, it just turned out to be fools gold once again.

I've lost count of how many women I've dated. The funny part about that is there's guys who've dated no more than five women in their entire lives, and they end up marrying their "soul mate".

Certainly dating and relationships are the least logical thing on Earth, and everybody's experience will differ, based on a zillion different variables.

Everybody on here is doing the best they can with the tools they've got.

Economics is called the "Dismal Science" because it FORCES one to accept the harsh truth of life that if you choose X you simply CANNOT have Y.

Which brings me to this "idea." Not fully formed, not advice, not a suggestion. Just something that occurred to me.

Up until about 100 years ago, men chose women much like men today would choose business partners. They chose them (women) for their ability to help them (men) achieve their life's goals, under an economy that DEPENDED on couples who maximized a sexual division of labor.

This sexual division of labor was the MAIN REASON for long term relationships in the human primate since BEFORE WE WERE HUMANS. (back when we were homo-erectus or whatever). EVEN BEFORE LANGUAGE.

Romantic and sexual compatibility was an important part, but NOT THE MAIN REASON. It was an EFFECT, not a CAUSE of relationships.

Later, in a post industrial society, and Hollywood pumping out garbage romance movies (which from a mental food standpoint is like eating pure sugar for nourishment), sexual and romantic feelings have become the PREREQUISITE for a relationship, NOT THE EFFECT.

PERHAPS one of the problems (there are many) in today's relationships (for both men and women) is that our collective screening capabilities are CLOUDED by romantic and sexual feelings. Perhaps (I know this is a huge stretch for many here) it is VERY DIFFICULT TO SCREEN PROPERLY for suitable partners for long term, stable relationships, when sex and emotional feelings are FIRST rather than LATER.

Naturally, keeping ANY relationship together is much harder today, as many of the negative external incentives that kept couples together (religion, family, small communities, etc) simply don't exist today.

However, if it were true, then it would mean that some kind of negative external incentives (church, tight group of never-divorced friends, parents, siblings, etc) would likely be a prerequisite for anyone searching for a marriage partner.

HOWEVER I stand by my logic. If you can't find what you want, don't blame the market, blame your sorting and qualifying skills.

IF ONLY TO MAINTAIN THE IDEA that what you want is "out there" somewhere. And interesting things happen to people who KEEP LOOKING.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

I think when guys have the complaint of there is "no good women" out there, they are picking by the same criteria, or how "hot" they are. Of course women who POSITION themselves as "hot" babes are going to be much more of a risk than someone one or two notches down on the physical beauty side.

What I'm saying is when men are saying "there are no more good women out there", is they are just like a woman who keeps picking the same men with the same criteria!

There are many good women out there, they might be heavier than you like, not into fashion, not living on the bleeding edge of life. But they will try to please you, they will pay some bills and they will be a partner.

A "hot" babe positions herself to receive a sort of attention. It's not by accident, it takes a lot of work and practice to become so "hot" and do you think a "hot" babe does it so she can take good care of a man? No. They do it for the benefits they receive, and hopefully to snare a man of high worth or status. They may "help" a man at that status of life, or they may not.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

One good thing that came out of this thread was the drive and will to succeed. That many people come out of homeless and worse situations to achieve steller heights.

That we should not be content to just hit a $100k or a few $100k's coming from nothing like this, when if we open our mind to it so much more is possible. We limit our own success by becoming content.

A DJ system can be adapted to a more productive female class which will make as much or more money than you, and also these women can be somewhat helpful for a man. I do know that many women always look for someone with greater means than themselves, but at some levels there just aren't many people to choose from.

 

[Desdinova]

There are many good women out there, they might be heavier than you like, not into fashion, not living on the bleeding edge of life. But they will try to please you, they will pay some bills and they will be a partner.

This may have been the case 20 years ago, but that is vanishing as time goes on. The things that make a "good" woman are insecurity and self-consciousness. Women who are somehow flawed in their looks by society's standards will be more eager to please a man who shows up in their life. But today, these women are being treated the same as hot women in the name of "equality". Equality no longer solely represents treating both genders equal, it also includes equal emotional soothing for everybody across the board. Fat women are now taught to be proud of their curves instead of being encouraged to lose the weight. Society is embracing the fat chick as an emotional equal.

Low quality is prevalent all across the board regardless of whether the chick is fat, ugly, hot, or sexy. Society treats them all as equals and removes their self-consciousness. Yesterday I saw a fat chick wearing a tight little shirt that showed off the tattoos on her rolls. A self-respecting fat chick would cover all that up and wouldn't dare to let some tattoo artist go as far as even looking at her rolls.

It's all crap. Finding "quality" in a woman these days is like winning the lottery. So why not adapt to the current social atmosphere and treat them all as equally fvckable? You're not going to notice any difference in their personalities or how they feel when your d1ck is inside of them.

 

[DaddyLongShanks]

This may have been the case 20 years ago, but that is vanishing as time goes on. The things that make a "good" woman are insecurity and self-consciousness. Women who are somehow flawed in their looks by society's standards will be more eager to please a man who shows up in their life. But today, these women are being treated the same as hot women in the name of "equality". Equality no longer solely represents treating both genders equal, it also includes equal emotional soothing for everybody across the board. Fat women are now taught to be proud of their curves instead of being encouraged to lose the weight. Society is embracing the fat chick as an emotional equal.

Low quality is prevalent all across the board regardless of whether the chick is fat, ugly, hot, or sexy. Society treats them all as equals and removes their self-consciousness. Yesterday I saw a fat chick wearing a tight little shirt that showed off the tattoos on her rolls. A self-respecting fat chick would cover all that up and wouldn't dare to let some tattoo artist go as far as even looking at her rolls.

It's all crap. Finding "quality" in a woman these days is like winning the lottery. So why not adapt to the current social atmosphere and treat them all as equally fvckable? You're not going to notice any difference in their personalities or how they feel when your d1ck is inside of them.

Well according to the DJ principles you HAVE to treat them the same to depedalize them anyway. Treat them as a normal person.

If they have the side benefit of being visually stunning, great, but you should still run her thru your other more important standards for someone you deal with.

 

[Tenacity]

Also guys, view this video as well, it breaks down the difference between Positive Thinking (like you guys were proposing) and Positive Psychology (my approach).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7AnHqUL5KtE

I used Positive Psychology to get to where I'm at now.