Señor Fingers
Master Don Juan
Ever since the first perverted thoughts creeped into our pubescent minds, at some point we have all pondered the age-old question:
"What do women really want?"
This seemingly innocent puzzle quickly becomes a tangled affair and theories on the subject are in no short supply. Throughout my life I have been given some radically contradictory advice and honestly, most of it sucked ass.
Through years of repeated failures I had to learn some hard lessons. Rising above the uncertainties of the game was a huge part of my liberation from a vicious, frustrated cycle.
So grab your favorite chair, pour yourself a tall frosty beverage and get comfy because the Fingz is about to make your life ten times easier...
The Puzzle of Woman
Let's get one thing straight out the gate. Trying to decode the deepest desires of women is about as useful as a swiss cheese condom. I mean come on.. You actually believe these chicks know what they want for themselves?
HA!!
We are talking about some of nature's most fickle creatures whose whims are built on a ticking time-bomb of hormones and emotional extremes over which they have absolutely no control.
Sure some have their heads screwed on better than others. But I tell you they are all freaking insane and their wants/needs are in constant flux.
I wasted tons of energy trying to appease these flaky nut-cases. Until one day I just got fed up and was like "What the flying fukk???... what about MY needs?"
And that was when everything started to change and my game got turned inside out.
Winner Takes All
As some of you may know, I am a married man these days and retired from playing, but one of the last pickups I did is a perfect example of what I'm talking about...
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I met her at a beach party and was instantly attracted. She had a great smile and a figure that should be illegal to show in public. At the time she was with a group of 4 guys, all trying to get in her pants, obviously.
How do you think I handled it? AMOG? SS? DHV? C&F?
Ummm.... no.
I just grabbed a drink, waited for their convo to fizzle out a bit and rolled up like this:
ME: (Directly to chick) Hey, can you do me a favor? Im having a real problem here
The guys shoot me a dirty look right away... they can smell competition
HER: Sure
ME: (Pause like I am not sure I want to say it) You see there's this girl I quite fancy, but we never met before, she's with a group of guys and I feel a little intimidated.
She just smiles, not sure what to say.
ME: Okay so now you're laughin at me.. I'm a lost case right?
HER: Actually you're kinda cute.
Hmm... was not expecting that so soon. I hesitate a few seconds to absorb and decide to go even more direct.
ME: Wow. So hypothetically speaking ... if I were to take this girl's hand (take her hand) and get to know her a little, that would be pretty smooth, no?
Notice how I ask for permission but don't really give her a choice. At this point I am already leading her away as the guys watch me wide-eyed.
HER: It really depends on the girl I suppose.. tell me what is she like?
Ahhh, the classic "Tell me more about myself"
ME: Well like I said we never met, but she has the type of smile that will make a guy do the silliest things.
HER: (Laughing) Yeah right.. You probably say that to all the girls.
Isn't it funny how 9 out of 10 girls will ask this, just to make sure that they are not just another wham-bam-spank-you-ma'am?
The worst possible answer is a logical one (No I never do this..honest!) because then you are jumping through her hoops. Luckily I don't take the bait.
ME: Oh, didn't you hear? Meaningless flattery is all the rage these days. Sincerity is sooo 2005 darling..
HER: (Laughing) You do this all the time don't you?
WTF? Why are the hottest ones usually the most insecure? Time to steer the convo..
ME: I wish! Actually I've been a bit of a shut-in lately with work and all, so I don't get out as much as I'd like.
HER: Really? What do you do?
I used to qualify myself here all the time, because my work life really is interesting and highly unusual, but that got old fast..I am more interested in what she is all about
ME: I work with computers, nothing crazy. Just your average button pusher trying to make ends meet. What about you?
We walked some more and exchanged the usual pleasantries. I got her to open up to the point where she would not shut up about herself (Always a good sign). She turned out to be a cool girl and there was definitely some chemistry between us.
Several jokes and war stories later and before we knew it that the sounds of the party were drifting in the distance. It didn't feel like it but we had been talking for about two hours. This was going so well I decided to crank up the heat some more...
ME: You know I was kinda bored back there and now I'm having the best time.
HER: Me too.
ME: Whaddya say we ditch this party and go somewhere else?
HER: But I don't really know you...
ME: I know! Isn't it great?
HER: You're crazy
ME: You know what they say.. Crazy loves company. Birds of a feather and all that..
She laughs and then gets all quiet and shy on me. Perfect! I could probably go for in for a kiss, but frankly I am enjoying the sexual suspense. I put my arm around her and walk her back to the party at a laidback pace.
I do not mention escaping with her again.. the whole time are just talkin and vibin. We show up at the party together and instantly the other dudes are trying to c0ckblock and engage her in conversation.
So I let them, knowing that I have her interest, I go talk to some other friends and grab another drink. Out of the corner of my eye I see her looking for me, but I ignore it as I am talking up another girl. A good 20 minutes later I roll back and drop this
ME: Hey, I want to show you something.
HER: What?
ME: It's a surprise. (Take her hand and head towards the boardwalk)
HER: (dumbfounded) I've never met anyone like you... where did you come from?
ME: Well, if you must know...
I distract her with stories from my youth as we walk towards the street. At the height of my tale we are standing by a traffic light and I see a cab.. perfect! Without missing a beat I hail it down and open the door for her.
HER: What are you doing?
ME: If you don't get in you will never find out
HER: This is nuts! I can't just leave like this. Besides, I left my purse back there!
ME: Where?
HER: (Kind of pouty now) My friend Anna has it.
ME: (Totally ignoring her attitude) Oh I know her.. wait right here I will be right back.
I don't give her a chance to reply and dash back to her homegirl, (who happened to be the other chick I was talking to earlier) I zip back with her purse and find her still standing in front of the cab.. stubborn little thing.
She can't help but be amused by my antics though and cracks a smile as I show up waving her purse in the air like a prize.
HER: Are you out of your mind? What makes you think I'm going to run off with somebody I just met?
At this point debate was useless, so I just held the door open, ****ed my head to the side with a knowing smile and basically commanded her to just get in the car.
Sure I was pushing it, but I also knew she was into me and I could afford the risk. The tone in my voice was playful but serious at the same time... like I was saying "Cut the crap honey, you know you like me and I'm gonna make it easy for us to hook up."
I will never forget her reaction. She sort of went on autopilot and got into the taxi, staring at me the whole time with a priceless expression of surprise and awe. She could not believe my audacity! For the rest of the night I got zero resistance.
"What do women really want?"
This seemingly innocent puzzle quickly becomes a tangled affair and theories on the subject are in no short supply. Throughout my life I have been given some radically contradictory advice and honestly, most of it sucked ass.
Through years of repeated failures I had to learn some hard lessons. Rising above the uncertainties of the game was a huge part of my liberation from a vicious, frustrated cycle.
So grab your favorite chair, pour yourself a tall frosty beverage and get comfy because the Fingz is about to make your life ten times easier...
The Puzzle of Woman
Let's get one thing straight out the gate. Trying to decode the deepest desires of women is about as useful as a swiss cheese condom. I mean come on.. You actually believe these chicks know what they want for themselves?
HA!!
We are talking about some of nature's most fickle creatures whose whims are built on a ticking time-bomb of hormones and emotional extremes over which they have absolutely no control.
Sure some have their heads screwed on better than others. But I tell you they are all freaking insane and their wants/needs are in constant flux.
I wasted tons of energy trying to appease these flaky nut-cases. Until one day I just got fed up and was like "What the flying fukk???... what about MY needs?"
And that was when everything started to change and my game got turned inside out.
Winner Takes All
As some of you may know, I am a married man these days and retired from playing, but one of the last pickups I did is a perfect example of what I'm talking about...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I met her at a beach party and was instantly attracted. She had a great smile and a figure that should be illegal to show in public. At the time she was with a group of 4 guys, all trying to get in her pants, obviously.
How do you think I handled it? AMOG? SS? DHV? C&F?
Ummm.... no.
I just grabbed a drink, waited for their convo to fizzle out a bit and rolled up like this:
ME: (Directly to chick) Hey, can you do me a favor? Im having a real problem here
The guys shoot me a dirty look right away... they can smell competition
HER: Sure
ME: (Pause like I am not sure I want to say it) You see there's this girl I quite fancy, but we never met before, she's with a group of guys and I feel a little intimidated.
She just smiles, not sure what to say.
ME: Okay so now you're laughin at me.. I'm a lost case right?
HER: Actually you're kinda cute.
Hmm... was not expecting that so soon. I hesitate a few seconds to absorb and decide to go even more direct.
ME: Wow. So hypothetically speaking ... if I were to take this girl's hand (take her hand) and get to know her a little, that would be pretty smooth, no?
Notice how I ask for permission but don't really give her a choice. At this point I am already leading her away as the guys watch me wide-eyed.
HER: It really depends on the girl I suppose.. tell me what is she like?
Ahhh, the classic "Tell me more about myself"
ME: Well like I said we never met, but she has the type of smile that will make a guy do the silliest things.
HER: (Laughing) Yeah right.. You probably say that to all the girls.
Isn't it funny how 9 out of 10 girls will ask this, just to make sure that they are not just another wham-bam-spank-you-ma'am?
The worst possible answer is a logical one (No I never do this..honest!) because then you are jumping through her hoops. Luckily I don't take the bait.
ME: Oh, didn't you hear? Meaningless flattery is all the rage these days. Sincerity is sooo 2005 darling..
HER: (Laughing) You do this all the time don't you?
WTF? Why are the hottest ones usually the most insecure? Time to steer the convo..
ME: I wish! Actually I've been a bit of a shut-in lately with work and all, so I don't get out as much as I'd like.
HER: Really? What do you do?
I used to qualify myself here all the time, because my work life really is interesting and highly unusual, but that got old fast..I am more interested in what she is all about
ME: I work with computers, nothing crazy. Just your average button pusher trying to make ends meet. What about you?
We walked some more and exchanged the usual pleasantries. I got her to open up to the point where she would not shut up about herself (Always a good sign). She turned out to be a cool girl and there was definitely some chemistry between us.
Several jokes and war stories later and before we knew it that the sounds of the party were drifting in the distance. It didn't feel like it but we had been talking for about two hours. This was going so well I decided to crank up the heat some more...
ME: You know I was kinda bored back there and now I'm having the best time.
HER: Me too.
ME: Whaddya say we ditch this party and go somewhere else?
HER: But I don't really know you...
ME: I know! Isn't it great?
HER: You're crazy
ME: You know what they say.. Crazy loves company. Birds of a feather and all that..
She laughs and then gets all quiet and shy on me. Perfect! I could probably go for in for a kiss, but frankly I am enjoying the sexual suspense. I put my arm around her and walk her back to the party at a laidback pace.
I do not mention escaping with her again.. the whole time are just talkin and vibin. We show up at the party together and instantly the other dudes are trying to c0ckblock and engage her in conversation.
So I let them, knowing that I have her interest, I go talk to some other friends and grab another drink. Out of the corner of my eye I see her looking for me, but I ignore it as I am talking up another girl. A good 20 minutes later I roll back and drop this
ME: Hey, I want to show you something.
HER: What?
ME: It's a surprise. (Take her hand and head towards the boardwalk)
HER: (dumbfounded) I've never met anyone like you... where did you come from?
ME: Well, if you must know...
I distract her with stories from my youth as we walk towards the street. At the height of my tale we are standing by a traffic light and I see a cab.. perfect! Without missing a beat I hail it down and open the door for her.
HER: What are you doing?
ME: If you don't get in you will never find out
HER: This is nuts! I can't just leave like this. Besides, I left my purse back there!
ME: Where?
HER: (Kind of pouty now) My friend Anna has it.
ME: (Totally ignoring her attitude) Oh I know her.. wait right here I will be right back.
I don't give her a chance to reply and dash back to her homegirl, (who happened to be the other chick I was talking to earlier) I zip back with her purse and find her still standing in front of the cab.. stubborn little thing.
She can't help but be amused by my antics though and cracks a smile as I show up waving her purse in the air like a prize.
HER: Are you out of your mind? What makes you think I'm going to run off with somebody I just met?
At this point debate was useless, so I just held the door open, ****ed my head to the side with a knowing smile and basically commanded her to just get in the car.
Sure I was pushing it, but I also knew she was into me and I could afford the risk. The tone in my voice was playful but serious at the same time... like I was saying "Cut the crap honey, you know you like me and I'm gonna make it easy for us to hook up."
I will never forget her reaction. She sort of went on autopilot and got into the taxi, staring at me the whole time with a priceless expression of surprise and awe. She could not believe my audacity! For the rest of the night I got zero resistance.