THE Solution to the Modern Day Divorce Era!!!

[game.r]

Julius,

I agree with you but of course this comes down to a matter of personal views. On this level guys like FlGuy and game.r are entitled to say that 'it's wrong' for men or women to cheat. To them I say fine, go ahead and live a faithful and extremely frustrating life.

The only problem is that the proportion of 'men' like FlGuy and game.r is SO high in our society that now women expect men not to cheat, which I find incredible. Because generally women now have this insane expectation it's going to be extremely hard to find women who can look past this brainwashing and see that, actually, as long as a man is coming home to her every night, putting food on the table and generally being a good and caring husband, him occasionally needing to go out for some strange isn't the worst thing in the world.

If women could be a bit more realistic about what to expect then it wouldn't be necessary to 'cheat' at all (because as far as I'm concerned 'cheating' describes the deception rather than the lack of adherence to monogamy). There would just be a complicit understanding between the couple that occasionally the man would stray.

As some posters have said the real problem comes when emotions are involved. This is far more likely to happen when women are the ones doing the cheating, which is why it's better for women not to cheat. Of course the same thing can happen to men and so having sex outside of a marriage still requires considerable discipline on the part of the man, either not to get emotionally involved with the woman that he's sleeping with on the side or to successfully compartmentalise that woman (or those women). I think this is relatively easy to do for men who have a realistic view of things. The only men that are likely to be tortured are those that belive that a man should only be with one woman at any particular time and therefore if he develops feelings for a woman other than his wife he somehow has to choose between the two women. No choice is necessary, the wife stays the wife and the lover stays the lover. No inner torment necessary.

I never said that "its wrong" for men to cheat. I just laughed at OPs argument, not necessarily his idea. I generally have a problem with absolutes such as "I'm 100% certain that ALL men cheat". when u build a argument on that i can not give it credence. I mean how can he be 100% certain. Nobody's that certain!

carry on... i have nothing else to say.

 

[runner83]

Rescue Mission,

I think you've hit the nail on the head.

Cheating did exist back then (of course!), but was covered up more than it is now.

My personal opinion is that the same as why would you get up and one day and decide to only have one kind of cereal for the rest of your life, why is cheating occasionally wrong?

I think the figures are that about 10% (minimum) of children have fathers that aren't really theirs.

Needless to say, I'm not married though. And having once been with a married woman (good looking and intelligent, and yet just led astray by her desire) may also affect my judgment.

Face it, you know muesli is best for you, but why not have coco pops or fruit loops once in a while?

On the other hand, stay away from the fruit loops no matter how good they taste....

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

One thing I always find fascinating is how incredibly useful an era the 1950's were for people's arguments. This isn't to jab at RESCUE, but I'm always wary of people using the "50's Mentality" to justify their arguments for, and against, all manner of gender issues.

I can't begin to recount how many times I've heard feminists and feminized white knights attempt to trap me with a lamely predictable, "what, do you think we should go back to the 1950s with women oppressed, barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?!" or some variety of shame along those lines. Those I can see coming, but the 1950's also support arguments too. Grandpa and Grandma who did their parts in WWII married and lived in the 50's and we like to lovingly gaze back at how idyllic their relationship was through rose colored glasses.

I don't buy the 1950s crap anymore. I didn't live back then, and more likely than not, most of the people using the 50's cop out didn't either. Their perception is one born of convenience that's been crafted into something useful to their argument. All of our perceptions come from whatever movie or TV show depicts that era as. If you're a neo-feminist, it was the peak of Patriarchal oppression. If you're a traditionalist, it was an idyllic post-war, baby boom white utopia of the Greatest Generation. The 1950s wasn't Mad Men or Happy Days or American Graffiti, nor were women held down in chains until the sexual revolution freed them from bondage.

 

[5string]

Not taking a shot at anyone here, or saying who is right or wrong. Keep in mind I am not religious. But here it is.....I have never cheated on my wife.

 

[sodbuster]

No fault divorce is a big problem. When a woman is unhappy[for whatever reason],she can file and take half your stuff. IF you had to beat her or cheat on her for her to have grounds,she wouldn't be in such a rush to leave.

The reason women cheating was such a serious offence- she can make you raise a kid that isn't yours. Before blood tests etc. it would be impossible to prove patrimony. Since power and money were inherited, it was imperative to keep things on the up and up. Civil wars were common enough between contenders to the throne. No reason to allow a womans indiscretion to cause MORE.

More likely the main reason there weren't marriages breaking up-you probably only had sex with 1 or 2 people before marriage. IF you've only seen 1 movie,reruns aren't so bad. Well, that and prostitution was still around in houses in certain towns in South Dakota until the early 70's-legally.

 

[FLGuy]

Some of these guys who are SO desperate just to have a chick let them have sex with them, that they actually believe they'll be lucky to be able to have sex with the same woman FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE.

Thanks for projecting your feelings about yourself onto me! LOL

If you are just going to cheat, or if you believe it's impossible not to cheat--why get married at all?

MOST women do not feel the same way as you, so you will eventually lose.

I take my commitments seriously.

If I go into business with someone, I am not going to "cheat" on them.

Same as with marriage.

Why spending $5k-20k plus for a wedding, in addition to losing 1/2 your net worth if you plan on cheating? Just date, don't get married.

FVCK MORALS - the only moral that truly exists is that it is wrong to cause physical harm to another human being - that is the only moral that counts!

Wait! You just said "F Morals", then in the same sentence you claim the only moral that exists is not to harm another human physically? Which is it?

 

[SoldMySoul]

Thanks for projecting your feelings about yourself onto me! LOL

If you are just going to cheat, or if you believe it's impossible not to cheat--why get married at all?

MOST women do not feel the same way as you, so you will eventually lose.

I take my commitments seriously.

If I go into business with someone, I am not going to "cheat" on them.

Same as with marriage.

Why spending $5k-20k plus for a wedding, in addition to losing 1/2 your net worth if you plan on cheating? Just date, don't get married.






Wait! You just said "F Morals", then in the same sentence you claim the only moral that exists is not to harm another human physically? Which is it?

I am with Flguy on this one! Like I stated in a previous post to this matter: I have cheated and been cheated on. I certainly do not feel good about doing the cheating and cheating with married women on their husbands. It is plain out wrong on so many levels! I do not want it be something that defines me.

That being said, I would like to think that a woman exist out there for me that would make me not want to cheat. No matter how you try to justify it, cheating is wrong and shameful! To the OP, I do agree with a lot of your post and follow ups, but to assume guys on here are inexperienced because they do not agree with is off base. My age is 14 years to your junior and I speak from experience.

In a nutshell, I do not want to be a cheater and hopefully learned from my mistakes. I am a point in my life that I feel Karma has caught up to me because of it. You say do no physical harm, but fail to mention the mental harm that can be caused from said cheating. Not to mention what it can do to kids! My father cheated on my mom and I was pissed all through my teenage years because of it. Then when I aged and matured, I understood and forgave my father. Some children never will.

Being a man is hard work!!!!!! You have to learn from the mistakes to become a better man and CHEATING does not promote this. Just my random thoughts, good day!

 

[FLGuy]

I have never cheated on my wife.

Congratulations!

In an age where "instant gratification" and "Do what makes you happy" is rewarded above all, you deserve a pat on the back.

You should have your wife read this thread, she doesn't know how lucky she is.

 

[5string]

Congratulations!

In an age where "instant gratification" and "Do what makes you happy" is rewarded above all, you deserve a pat on the back.

You should have your wife read this thread, she doesn't know how lucky she is.

FLguy....thanks for the words buddy.

 

[-E-]

I think it's absolutely tragic that we've fallen so far as a society that there are those who actively PROMOTE infidelity and ridicule people who believe in monogamy.

You want to sleep around, don't enter a committed relationship and don't get married. It's that simple.

 

[Rescue Mission]

Thanks for projecting your feelings about yourself onto me! LOL

If you are just going to cheat, or if you believe it's impossible not to cheat--why get married at all?

MOST women do not feel the same way as you, so you will eventually lose.

I take my commitments seriously.

If I go into business with someone, I am not going to "cheat" on them.

Same as with marriage.

Why spending $5k-20k plus for a wedding, in addition to losing 1/2 your net worth if you plan on cheating? Just date, don't get married.






Wait! You just said "F Morals", then in the same sentence you claim the only moral that exists is not to harm another human physically? Which is it?

Do you even know the purpose of me making this thread? This thread is not about cheating and hiding it!! This is about a NEW AGE WAY of thinking about sex outside of marriage, because like others have confirmed with me, it is IMPOSSIBLE to have sex with only 1 person the rest of your life, and those who attempt to do that, end up either miserably married, or just flat out divorced.

You would still be COMMITTED to your wife, promising to always love her and never leave her........but you will still be getting sex on the side whenever you want (same goes for your wife), but you have chosen each other as life mates.........do you see what I'm saying???


As for morals and killing people, I am just using logic here to say that it is WRONG to take someone's life from them, because if you understood anything about YOUR life, you'd know that life is the most important thing in the world.

 

[FLGuy]

You would still be COMMITTED to your wife, promising to always love her and never leave her........but you will still be getting sex on the side whenever you want (same goes for your wife), but you have chosen each other as life mates.........do you see what I'm saying???

I understand what you have written.

In my opinion it will never work.

And you aren't being committed 100%, maybe 50%.

Expecting women to have sex devoid of emotion is a pipe dream. The same goes for men too!
For all the talk about men "pumping and dumping" & "emotionless sex", some men get attached emotionally to some degree.

As for morals and killing people, I am just using logic here to say that it is WRONG to take someone's life from them, because if you understood anything about YOUR life, you'd know that life is the most important thing in the world.

Who decides what is "Wrong"?

God? Society? Celebs?

 

[-E-]

To those who are saying if you want to cheat then don't get married, you are missing the point. Of course that is one way of living and there is nothing wrong with that.

However maybe some men actually do really love one woman and want her to be their life partner. They just want to have sex with other women. I don't mean to deride anyone's life choices but to those guys saying they can't separate love from sex I would say that such guys are a bit too in touch with their feminine side.

The idea of lifelong monogamy is ridiculous. To those guys who have never cheated on their wives, round of applause and all that. How about when she is 48 years old, after two kids and her tits are sagging down to the ground? She has a ***** like the Channel Tunnel. I mean of course you'll still love this woman but will you really want to have sex with her? No, you'll want to have sex with the 20 year old hardbody that comes and babysits for you.

To those saying that cheating is wrong because it devastates the other person, well don't get caught! If you don't get caught then who is suffering, really? Also if women had been brought up with realistic expectations of their husbands they would just accept that men straying is natural.

You're nothing more than a filthy piece of gutter trash, enslaved to and driven by base animal instinct. A solid example of how weak and ethically bankrupt our society has become, and how we continue to regress as a species.

Really, when somebody is as far gone morally as you are, what can you possibly say to them? Nothing, which is why I won't waste my time trying.

 

[Trader]

Remember back in the day, let's say in the 1950's, how so many people got married and STAYED married until death did them part?

I have a theory on this, which can be tied into 2010 modern day marriages, and possibly provide a solution to reducing the divorce rates DRASTICALLY.

All the way up until the 1950s, I am 100% sure that ALL husbands cheated on their wives at some point..........and if they married at 21, died at 81, and were married for 60 years, I AM CONVINCED that men cheated on their wives (out of necessity so as to not go insane from seeing the same pvssy all the time), and at the same time, women cheated on their husbands.

EVERYONE CHEATED TO THE POINT OF NOT EVEN CARING ABOUT IT, BECAUSE THEY KNEW THAT DIVORCE WASN'T A GOOD OPTION

Then, of course no one told their kids and grandkids about this, so kids later in the 20th century were all brought up thinking that their parents NEVER cheated on each other, and had true pure love for decades and decades.........CHILDREN WERE DECEIVED.......that is like the same thin as having them believe there is a Santa Claus!

These days, in 2010, CHEATING is treated like SUCH a horrible bad taboo thing, without even realizing that it is physically and emotionally impossible to have sex with ONE person for the rest of your life, where that starts at the age of 18, 25, or 40..........and everyone is so quick to dump each other and divorce each other over cheating, because guess what?

Cheating has been placed up on a pedestal in today's society

To me, committing to ONE person for life is JUST THAT - COMMITTING........which means, always be by their side, and NEVER leave. In my opinion, cheating is to be expected if you want to actually live your life with ONE person who you love.....love and cheating are NOT connected.................cheating exists to keep sanity, and I cannot see myself, or anyone else, being HAPPILY MARRIED TO ONE PERSON FOR LIFE, without ever just hooking up with people on the side, just to spice things up.


The way people think and see the world has changed DRASTICALLY in the last 50 years, and with that cheatingbecome almost worse than murder

WE all live in a generation that is all about exposing everything to everyone, and the truth always rings through.......back in the old days, everything was kept in secrecy, thus it is an ILLUSION to think that everyone was faithful to each other back in the day, and NOW we all turned into cheating wh0res......TOTAL ILLUSION!!!

To me, this way of thinking is a personal breakthrough..........THIS is how marriage can work - commit to the girl you love, be with her till death do you part, have sex with her all the time, and if either one of you feels the need for a quick foreigh hookup, then FOR GODS SAKE, JUST DO IT AND KEEP YOUR SANITY, AS OPPOSED TO HIDING SECRETS, BECOMING BITTER, ACTING DEPRESSED, AND SLOWLY LOSING YOUR SANITY AS THE MARRIAGE WEARS ON!!!


The point of marriage should not be to TRAP someone away from their natural sexual desires. Marriage instead should be about telling your partner "I choose you to spend my life with, because you are special"

For anyone to even start taking you seriously, you need to STOP TALKING LIKE !!!! THIS #@#@ ALL THE TIME

 

[romangod]

You haven't grasped that much of our so called morality is based on biological facts. Why is it wrong to have sex with our siblings? Your argument would be 'Urrrghhhh........ your sick, you want to have sex with your sister. It's WRONG!!'. I would say that the reason it's 'wrong' is that having sex with your siblings would significantly increase the chances of producing defective offspring. Do you see? Biology becomes morality.

On the other hand we have deemed cheating wrong, even though the biology is sound. In this case it's social and religious rather than biological imperatives that have been important in the crystallisation of this absurd morality. What's the difference? The difference is that morality arising from biology at least has a sound base.

I guess it's okay to screw your own sister if you wear a condom.:rockon: The morality of it doesn't exist in your mind.


Personally, I think your reasoning is nonsense. I can see why nobody wants to debate it with you. It's too ridiculous to bother.


Cheers!

 

[Rescue Mission]

For anyone to even start taking you seriously, you need to STOP TALKING LIKE !!!! THIS #@#@ ALL THE TIME

And for anyone to even start taking YOU seriously, maybe you need to stop talking like you know ANYTHING about women, because you are a 28 year old virgin.

 

[Warrior74]

Cheating. It's been going on since the dawn of time and it's not going to stop. Why do you people act like your blind to ALL of human history. Every religion and culture addresses cheating because its natural for humans to do so. Should you cheat? No..not if you promise not to. Does it happen? Yes, yes it does. Have I been cheated on? Yes I have, and it doesn't feel good. But I'm no innocent babe in the woods either. I've been down that road enough to know that if I promise to commit, I keep my promise until I can't and then I inform the other party that I'm breaking our pact. It's the only fair way to live.

Will everyone do that? Nope. Will people still cheat? Yup. All you can do is live by your code and be able to look yourself in the mirror and like what you see there. Just do that and teach your family/kids/friends to do the same. That's all any of us can do.

 

[Bluntmaster]

The point of marriage should not be to TRAP someone away from their natural sexual desires. Marriage instead should be about telling your partner "I choose you to spend my life with, because you are special"

Are you going to let your wife cheat in order to "keep everyone sane"?

 

[Rescue Mission]

Are you going to let your wife cheat in order to "keep everyone sane"?

I believe that everyone should just have sex openly during marriages, as long as they commit to BEING THERE for the person they married. I bet divorce rates would go down drastically when people start accepting that cheating is a natural sexual act, and NOT cheating only results in depression, anxiety, and pvssification over the long run.

 

[Bluntmaster]

I believe that everyone should just have sex openly during marriages, as long as they commit to BEING THERE for the person they married. I bet divorce rates would go down drastically when people start accepting that cheating is a natural sexual act, and NOT cheating only results in depression, anxiety, and pvssification over the long run.

You are starting to sound like a guy who regrets getting married.