The reason that makes a serious relationship unbearable to me are the continuous tasks

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

It seems like women are hard coded to be restless and turn restless the man that has the misfortune of being in her proximity for too long.

I kid you not, I never had a woman at my house that allowed me to sit my ass on the sofa for more than a hour without demanding actions, time or assigning tasks.

The same moment your ass cheecks hit the pillow surely and quickly comes a "can you help me with..." or "let's go to ....", "are you really just gonna sit there and do nothing"?

Just like kids their brain cannot understand the concept of beind idle to rest and recover, they either sleep or they need non stop entertainment.

But what really makes them unbearable to me are the tasks they feel the need to assign wheter is to get an object in the room they can get themselves, close the curtain, throw away the trash on demand, check for something and so on.

The average man generally says "later" which means your demand has no priority and I dont want to interrupt what I'm doing for it.

Me personally I realized that the "later" only makes them more annoying and restless so given the outcome I simply started to ignore their demands which in fact equally frustrates them.

Just like the need for silence, the need for peace is probably the biggest drive not to engange in a serious relationship at least for my taste.

This even before the non stop social activities they need and feel the need to drag their man on.

They apparently cant get the fact that those 2 hours socializing at the gym after the 5 hours at work fulfil the basic needs for most men.

Do you relate?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I do relate and you wrote your post clearly and succinctly. I do enjoy entertaining so I’m naturally attentive to guests in my home. But sometimes their restless nature is a bit much.

I broke up with a perfectly nice chick I was hanging out with because she would always say that she “wanted more” which under great duress, I got her to finally admit that it was that we didn’t go out to dinner or socialize much as a couple. I was at a point in my life where I had a tight rein on my finances and I wanted to just be able to hang out and have raucous sex. I would cook for her, make her nice drinks etc. It should be noted I really enjoyed her but the relentless nagging made me break away.

 

[handle]

It's familiar to me but if you date women with serious career/artistic/intellectual ambitions it's less of a problem.

 

[corrector]

It seems like women are hard coded to be restless and turn restless the man that has the misfortune of being in her proximity for too long.

I kid you not, I never had a woman at my house that allowed me to sit my ass on the sofa for more than a hour without demanding actions, time or assigning tasks.

The same moment your ass cheecks hit the pillow surely and quickly comes a "can you help me with..." or "let's go to ....", "are you really just gonna sit there and do nothing"?

Just like kids their brain cannot understand the concept of beind idle to rest and recover, they either sleep or they need non stop entertainment.

But what really makes them unbearable to me are the tasks they feel the need to assign wheter is to get an object in the room they can get themselves, close the curtain, throw away the trash on demand, check for something and so on.

The average man generally says "later" which means your demand has no priority and I dont want to interrupt what I'm doing for it.

Me personally I realized that the "later" only makes them more annoying and restless so given the outcome I simply started to ignore their demands which in fact equally frustrates them.

Just like the need for silence, the need for peace is probably the biggest drive not to engange in a serious relationship at least for my taste.

This even before the non stop social activities they need and feel the need to drag their man on.

They apparently cant get the fact that those 2 hours socializing at the gym after the 5 hours at work fulfil the basic needs for most men.

Do you relate?

Yes. This was one of the strains on the past marriage I had. You feel guilty with any alone time, and even visiting the GYM could be an issue. As long as you are happy doing something alone without her, even if it's not related to dealing with another woman (ie where that would be legitimately a problem), then it could bother her.

My mother is also like that with me right now, and I often say "later" to her, but usually follow though within a few minutes (but by then it's usually too late and she enlists my father instead or gets upset that she waited too long). I didn't realize saying "later" could mean that to her. I better be careful then since you don't play games with your own mother.

 

[Scaramouche]

It seems like women are hard coded to be restless and turn restless the man that has the misfortune of being in her proximity for too long.

I kid you not, I never had a woman at my house that allowed me to sit my ass on the sofa for more than a hour without demanding actions, time or assigning tasks.

The same moment your ass cheecks hit the pillow surely and quickly comes a "can you help me with..." or "let's go to ....", "are you really just gonna sit there and do nothing"?

Just like kids their brain cannot understand the concept of beind idle to rest and recover, they either sleep or they need non stop entertainment.

But what really makes them unbearable to me are the tasks they feel the need to assign wheter is to get an object in the room they can get themselves, close the curtain, throw away the trash on demand, check for something and so on.

The average man generally says "later" which means your demand has no priority and I dont want to interrupt what I'm doing for it.

Me personally I realized that the "later" only makes them more annoying and restless so given the outcome I simply started to ignore their demands which in fact equally frustrates them.

Just like the need for silence, the need for peace is probably the biggest drive not to engange in a serious relationship at least for my taste.

This even before the non stop social activities they need and feel the need to drag their man on.

They apparently cant get the fact that those 2 hours socializing at the gym after the 5 hours at work fulfil the basic needs for most men.

Do you relate?

Hi Fortune,
Quite empathise with your thoughts,but then If I am honest about life,must admit that most of the Women in my life are less interested in my Charm than in my Black and Decker and Box of Tools!

 

[Hamurabimbi]

It seems like women are hard coded to be restless and turn restless the man that has the misfortune of being in her proximity for too long.

I kid you not, I never had a woman at my house that allowed me to sit my ass on the sofa for more than a hour without demanding actions, time or assigning tasks.

The same moment your ass cheecks hit the pillow surely and quickly comes a "can you help me with..." or "let's go to ....", "are you really just gonna sit there and do nothing"?

Just like kids their brain cannot understand the concept of beind idle to rest and recover, they either sleep or they need non stop entertainment.

But what really makes them unbearable to me are the tasks they feel the need to assign wheter is to get an object in the room they can get themselves, close the curtain, throw away the trash on demand, check for something and so on.

The average man generally says "later" which means your demand has no priority and I dont want to interrupt what I'm doing for it.

Me personally I realized that the "later" only makes them more annoying and restless so given the outcome I simply started to ignore their demands which in fact equally frustrates them.

Just like the need for silence, the need for peace is probably the biggest drive not to engange in a serious relationship at least for my taste.

This even before the non stop social activities they need and feel the need to drag their man on.

They apparently cant get the fact that those 2 hours socializing at the gym after the 5 hours at work fulfil the basic needs for most men.

Do you relate?

yes.

 

[The Duke]

Lol Yep, they are all super needy. No such thing as an independent woman either. Even the most independent are dependent.

I had to give my ex GF the boot because of this very thing and I never felt appreciated. Things got lopsided in regards to the work load.

Now days she is on her own and has realized that many of the things I took care of stress her out and bring her to tears when she has to rely on herself or hire someone to do them for her. None of them realize how good they had it until it's gone.

God didn't put me on this earth to be a servant to a modern day woman.

I sure like my peace and freedom.

Companionship and sex that's about all I need from one.

If they can't offer more then I don't need to live with her.

All the headache that comes with one makes you question if it's worth it. The older I get the less I desire.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Yes this is huge. Every man needs his personal time. She can join in if she's quiet/peaceful.

Women range in their respect of this. My current girl is very respectful of it (and is like minded - doesn't always want me around either which is a-okay) so there's very little friction over this. Yes there are chores to do but they get done when one of us wants to do it, end of story.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It seems like women are hard coded to be restless and turn restless the man that has the misfortune of being in her proximity for too long.

That's one reason why many women like shibari. After they've been tied up, they cannot do anything anymore and they are more or less forced to relax. One of my 'rope bunnies' called it 'taking a vacation from herself'.

If a woman is restless, you should be the calm center in her chaotic life. Not her enabler.

I kid you not, I never had a woman at my house that allowed me to sit my ass on the sofa for more than a hour without demanding actions, time or assigning tasks.

It's a congruency test and you're failing the test. You're the man. You don't need her permission to rest when you want. And if anyone is assigning tasks at your house, it should be you, not her.

Just like kids their brain cannot understand the concept of beind idle to rest and recover, they either sleep or they need non stop entertainment.

Doesn't mean you have to be the one to provide the entertainment.

If someone cannot entertain themselves, they haven't been raised properly.

This, by the way, is where many parents fail. Provided ample entertainment, a child has to be able to entertain themselves, alone or with their friends. Not that you cannot shoot some hoops with your kid or share activities, but as a parent not as a playmate.

And if they get bored, have them be bored somewhere else. Boredom can lead to highly creative endeavours.

But what really makes them unbearable to me are the tasks they feel the need to assign wheter is to get an object in the room they can get themselves, close the curtain, throw away the trash on demand, check for something and so on.

If she wants you to do something she can do herself, have her do it herself. Allowing her to lead is the first step to disrespect.

I understand your frustration, but like everybody here is prone to say, 'the man leads, the woman follows'. Well then, show your leadership by not allowing her to dictate what you are 'allowed' to do and don't let her divide the 'chores/tasks'.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It should be noted I really enjoyed her but the relentless nagging made me break away.

That's why I always listen for the dissatisfied whine in her voice when I first meet her. They can be gorgeous and sexy, but that whine puts me off directly from pursuing anything beyond casual sex.

 

[BadBoy89]

That's why you don't live with them.

I'll get married; if:

(1) we live separately
(2) see each other 4 times a week max
(3) She gets pregnant within 6 months
(3) I'm allowed to have one hotter younger girl to sleep with

Any takers?

 

[Bingo-Player]

I've never really had this issue with women I've dated although I have seen other men have it

Part of the reason a woman will be restless in relationship is because she feels shes not being led properly or theres something wrong with the masculine / feminine polarity and she can sense it

So shes frustrated and sub consciously trying to get you to take action before she starts thinking about being with other men who are taking action

Men never have and never will have the luxury of being complacent in life , if you want the best you have to constantly be the best

This is why even when they have a good woman successful men with usually have a mistress or two on the side , it shows he is so powerful he can keep multiple women satisfied at once and women although few will admit it much prefer sharing a man like this than being with some loser

When I see broke men with pot belly and bald heads I know they have failed in life and deserve the nagging from their woman ( who probably knows she can do better )

When a woman properly knows her place In the relationship , is being fvcked properly and is in her feminine frame she will be no bother at all

 

[Westminster]

Very good thread on an important but overlooked topic, which is often the source of great tension between men and women.

Men want - and, in my view, need - downtime but most women resent that and seem to want to load a guy up with jobs (meaningful or otherwise) as soon as they see a man 'doing nothing'. This is something I resent because listening to music, watching TV, drinking tea, etc. is actually doing something. It's called relaxing - and it's very good for you.

Males and females are different psychologically and physiologically, which means we have different needs and habits. Look at the animal kingdom, it's just the same. The lion rests most of the day while lioness busys herself. He springs into action when he wants or needs to.

A woman shoud respect a man's space and it's a red flag if they don't.

 

[Agamemnon43]

It's biological. That's why men are different than women.
If you respond to all of her attention seeking, she will quickly get bored and move away from you. That's why it must be this way if you are living together. You must make her realize she's never getting 100% of your attention or all of her wishes fulfilled, becuase YOU know that's better for the relationship.

 

[CornbreadFed]

This is one of my biggest fears of living with a woman.

 

[SW15]

Companionship and sex that's about all I need from one.

Those are my needs from women.

This is one of my biggest fears of living with a woman.

If you desire a longer term relationship with a woman and don't live with her, that's likely to affect how long of a relationship you'll have.

If a man and woman are both over 25 at the start of the interaction, it is typical for them to be cohabitating by their 3rd anniversary and possibly engaged/married by then.

At 29, if you're able to pull someone 18-24, you might be able to extend the pre-cohabitation period to 5 years. At the 5 year mark, she's definitely going to be pushing for cohabitation and/or marriage, if she hasn't started earlier.

I have heard of cases where a man and a woman made it to their 5th anniversary together without being married or cohabitating. When this happens, it is because the relationship started when both partners were under 25. In the instances when this happened that I know of, both cohabitation and marriage eventually happened.

 

[Barrister]

My problem in an LTR has always been the hypocrisy. A woman shouldn't expect us to drop everything to do some inane activity she feels is important in that moment unless she is willing to also have sex whenever and wherever we want it. We all know how that works and how society views it as well. Which is why it is even more irritating. Men get shoehorned by society into a role of being a doormat/yes-man to everything while if the woman doesn't want to fulfill her LTR duties it is acceptable because its "her body" or some other silly explanation.

It sounds simple because it is. If she isn't putting out, there really isn't a lot of reason for the relationship. I tend to have more fun with the boys if I just want someone to watch TV with. And I don't have to deal with the attitude that comes with.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

My problem in an LTR has always been the hypocrisy. A woman shouldn't expect us to drop everything to do some inane activity she feels is important in that moment unless she is willing to also have sex whenever and wherever we want it.

Nope. This isn't a quid pro quo situation.

I already have sex when where and how I want it, but it doesn't mean I have to prioritise her 'more important' activity. Doesn't really matter what it is, but I can decide on my own priorities, thank you very much.

 

[Barrister]

Nope. This isn't a quid pro quo situation.

I already have sex when where and how I want it, but it doesn't mean I have to prioritise her 'more important' activity. Doesn't really matter what it is, but I can decide on my own priorities, thank you very much.

You seem to be describing how women generally get handled in either plate status or STRs. The sad reality is that after a certain amount of time in an LTR (usually 5 years), this line in the sand approach only goes so far. They typically just become sullen, start shutting down, and giving you a sh1tty silent treatment. If you start throwing kids into the mix that even may get expedited. Really, your only option at that point is the threat to walk (dread game). Which in itself takes effort to apply effectively.

 

[pipeman84]

I kid you not, I never had a woman at my house that allowed me to sit my ass on the sofa for more than a hour without demanding actions, time or assigning tasks.

This quote in particular but also the rest of OP reminded me of how my mom acted when I was a teen ... gotta do chores, gotta do homework, you've been sitting in front of the PC for over an hour, yadda yadda.
IMO if a woman you invite into your life and your house acts like this, there's a serious problem with your frame and the masculine - feminine polarity in the relationship.