the problem of being average looks on POF

[pete101]

this is quite frustrating, when i message new users on pof, i'll usually lucky and they'll reply cos they're new to it and it's a novelty.. then suddenly within like 20-30mins they'll be absolutely filled up with messages that it's natural they'll just scan on photos of who they find attractive.

even if i manage to get a couple of replies in and built up minimal rapport (as best as you can online) they'll stop replying to me. i know you're suppose to get the number within like 4 messages, but for the women new to online dating will that make you come across as desperate?

i didn't even go for the number, it's just i'm very careful how i word my replies so nothing can be misconstrued, but if i wait say 20mins, by then she's gotten so many messages i'm out of the picture. it's frustrating especially with the super hot ones who reply.

i'll get barely any replies day to day, so i try my best when i respond to come across as if i'm replying to lots of different women cos they'll suss out if i reply as soon as they reply.

is it possible they just dont see the message? i'm tempted to follow up, but it's better i leave it a day or so.. then again they're getting 100s of messages, i doubt she's looking out for mine in particular.

 

[st_99]

Everything you say is true which is why I will tell you that pof should be looked at as nothing more than a Solitaire or Minesweeper game. If you get a f*ck out of it, great, but treat it like a game on your computer.

I would urge you to deemphasize online dating and consider talking to girls you encounter in everyday life as the only way to go about this.

There is just no getting around the gimmicky nature of online dating.

 

[pete101]

Everything you say is true which is why I will tell you that pof should be looked at as nothing more than a Solitaire or Minesweeper game. If you get a f*ck out of it, great, but treat it like a game on your computer.

I would urge you to deemphasize online dating and consider talking to girls you encounter in everyday life as the only way to go about this.

There is just no getting around the gimmicky nature of online dating.

yeah you're right, they dont have like 100s of guys approaching them in real life. i really hope online dating doesn't become even more acceptable and the norm otherwise average guys will suffer.

it definitely is darwins theory of survival of the fittest and natural selection, the top women on there will only reply to the best looking guys.. as much as women say they dont focus on looks, on internet dating looks takes absolute precedent as a filtering process.

it's annoying, sometimes i have so much in common with the HB and she 'appears' to be qualifying herself to me, as soon as i mention meeting up within the 4th message they dont reply. it's annoying.

i guess internet dating isn't a true reflection of how the dating world is?

 

[Serg897]

My opinion about online dating is that it should only be a supplement to your game, not the main focus. I have far more success at meeting better/higher quality women in person, and for less effort. It just takes too much time to set up a good profile and send enough messages to actually get a decent payoff. The women I have actually met up with from OkCupid have been of pretty low quality, and only good for really short term flings or one night stands. Concentrate on meeting women other ways in real life, but keep the online profile for you to play with once in a while.

 

[HalfAddict]

POF is lame, full of fatties, uggos, single moms, dumb broads, attention *****s and a combination of all of the above. I would not sweat it too much dude.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

it's annoying, sometimes i have so much in common with the HB and she 'appears' to be qualifying herself to me, as soon as i mention meeting up within the 4th message they dont reply. it's annoying.

Attention wh0res. They'll put up a profile and soak up the male attention all the while having no intentions of meeting any guys offline.

You should be extremely wary of HB's on these sites. Think about it. If she were hot and mentally stable then there is no reason for her to be on the site because she'd be able to get guys offline whenever she wanted. 9 times out of 10 if there on the site it's because they have some character flaw that prevents them from attracting men for the long term.

 

[J Roc]

stop catering to online attention wh0res and and start hollering at women in the field

 

[green69]

lol seems I'm not the only one then. I'll get some interested responses from decent looking chicks but as soon as I ask for a number I get some excuse. Or if I get the number...I'll get a bunch of excuses as to why they can't meet up a particular week despite the fact they'll frequently text etc. It's pretty obvious they just want attention/comfort.

Here's the POF flow chart for getting girls:

Message girl ---- Response (1/5) ----- Get number (1/5) ----- Get date (1/4)

You add up these probabilities and it's actually like 1/100 chance of going on a date when you message a girl.

Real life flow chart for meeting chicks:

Meet girl ---- Positive Response (1/2) ----- Get number (1/2) ----- Go on date (1/2)

You add up these probabilities it's more like 1/8 chance of going on a date if I walk up to or meet a girl. 1/8 is nothing to write home about for me or anything, but 1/8 is certainly better than 1/100. And at the very least you practice your game/social interaction.

 

[zekko]

I've never tried a dating site, so clue me in on something:

It seems to me like both men and women would post the most flattering picture they could find of themselves. People can sometimes take a very good picture but look completely different in real life. It seems like there would be a lot of disappointments when couples actually meet.

Or am I wrong in saying that, and people really try to find a picture that realistically depicts them?

 

[pete101]

Attention wh0res. They'll put up a profile and soak up the male attention all the while having no intentions of meeting any guys offline.

You should be extremely wary of HB's on these sites. Think about it. If she were hot and mentally stable then there is no reason for her to be on the site because she'd be able to get guys offline whenever she wanted. 9 times out of 10 if there on the site it's because they have some character flaw that prevents them from attracting men for the long term.

i was thinking the same thing, a lot of baggage, kids etc. BUT from time to time you get some real quality women on there for whatever reason, had a recent break up, feeling lonley around xmas period, or want to hook up with guys outside of their social realm.. however you could ask how come they dont just meet up with guys picking them up in real life if they're so hot?

i notice the quality women do talk to me cos i'm classy and intelligent and different from the guys on there just looking for sex. BUT cos i know they're not physically attracted to me if i dont build up the rapport quickly i'm a goner, even then they end up talking to me i guess for attention but go out with the better looking guys on there.

tbh from where i am in europe, there's a lot of quality guys on there, rich, successful good looking etc etc.. probably just players but still guys women find attractive, so once a woman catches wind of this she'll put herself on the site, regardless if she's low quality or not.

think new york and that realm, big city dwellers working long hours dont have time to go out as much. i'm not saying they're all like that, far from it but i have notice for every 100 profiles there's 1 quality girl who's got her ish together, not sure what her intentions are.. i think maybe sex with a good looking guy.

 

[pete101]

Responses in bold.

i agree with a lot of what you say, however i think it's based on women who've internet dated before.. so no longer virgins to meeting complete strangers.

i think women who just recently joined who've never internet dated before are open to the idea but not actually gone through with it so need more warming up before you ask them out.

for instance right now, the HB i'm talking to is super hot, appears to have her sh1t together BUT is looking for 'hang out' and 'a bit of fun' in her headline.. this makes me wary that she's just looking for a hook up with a good looking guy to get over her ex cos it's the holidays. why can't she meet a guy in real life? i dont know, given what i know about her, it'll get round her social circle given where she parties or goes out.

there are a lot of high value males on there from where i'm from so i'm sure any girl who hears about this will try her best to snare him, like trading up.. lots of secretaries looking to nab an investment banker and what not.

maybe she's just using me for attention i dont know, i'm very wary of being friendzoned so i try to be more sexual without a creep.. but it's hard with these internet dating virgins.. i do sense a vibe of wariness like they're not completely comfortable with the whole idea. i'm sure the women you've dated off of there are season pro's so there's no reason they'd be against meeting up so quickly.

i dont know, i feel like i'm coming across as desperate by suggesting a meet up and she doesn't respond.

i try to start the convo again to warm her up but realize now by making a suggestion to meet up again is being pushy when the reason she ignored the last message was because of the same thing.. i really dont get this game.

it seems like it's 1 rule for the virgins and 1 rule for the seasoned pros (who seem to want to meet up immediately! cos they know chemistry online isn't the same as in real life)

 

[pete101]

lol seems I'm not the only one then. I'll get some interested responses from decent looking chicks but as soon as I ask for a number I get some excuse. Or if I get the number...I'll get a bunch of excuses as to why they can't meet up a particular week despite the fact they'll frequently text etc. It's pretty obvious they just want attention/comfort.

Here's the POF flow chart for getting girls:

Message girl ---- Response (1/5) ----- Get number (1/5) ----- Get date (1/4)

You add up these probabilities and it's actually like 1/100 chance of going on a date when you message a girl.

Real life flow chart for meeting chicks:

Meet girl ---- Positive Response (1/2) ----- Get number (1/2) ----- Go on date (1/2)

You add up these probabilities it's more like 1/8 chance of going on a date if I walk up to or meet a girl. 1/8 is nothing to write home about for me or anything, but 1/8 is certainly better than 1/100. And at the very least you practice your game/social interaction.

i dont even get that.. i'll get a few replies then silence (i am going for the new users tho) the 1s who keep talking i know are interested to an extent but you can tell they just see you as a back up option, even if i get a number i can sense a flake and cancellation coming up so i dont think anything of it.

but your probabilities sound quite accurate. i guess it's more just ease of use. my friend who uses it is very very good looking guy and he gets loads of girls messaging him, some ugly, some hot, some average.. btu generally a lot of hot 1s who completely ignored me but message him! shows you for some people it's like a candy shop.

 

[Leopold]

PETE!!!! Even tho Im new at Online Game as well you make me sound like a Master DJ.

DUDE!!! Just DONT over think stuff so much. Its just a stranger girl... She knows why you are there... she's not dumb.

If she flakes... EFFFF her! Its her lost not YOURS. Just ask other girls out. Besides.. listen to Epsi... he seems to have his sh8t together. Just ask her out, provide a way for her to contact you and that's it!!!

DONE, LISTO, SE FINI!!! :yes:

 

[backseatjuan]

When they find you on POF and message you, that's when sparks can fly.

I know your frustration, you message hundreds of girls, and nada.

Out of 3 months of this online sh1t I've gotten 6 lays and 8 dates. It started really steamy, first day created profile and girl messaged me, met her that same day and fvcked her in the car. Then it slowed way down. On average I get 14 views per day, that's only if I keep paying to put my profile on the very top (love.mail.ru not POF), and what they do? They view my profile, and nobody messages. If I message them I'll find out I'm not their type. If I search and message girls they either won't reply or won't go out. One idiot was ready to go out and stood me up.

Online dating is crap any way you put it man. There is so much work just to get a date, and when you get on a date, wtf, you have to find out if you want her or not, and I'm not about sex here. Best is to do cold approaching, you get your first date's worth of interaction right there.

A few pointers for you, besides having good pics (consider professional photo session), keep your first message short and down to the point. Never give your number to them, let them give you their number and time to call. Your phone game sux I know, try to keep things online for as long as you can, and use phone only when it's time to meet. Remember to approach every woman on there as if she's the best one you ever met, don't get into conveyer mood.

 

[pete101]

the comment about personality defect is right.. some of these women are so damn argumentative all that happens is you validate then with attention by keeping the responses going instead of giving them the last word.

i prefer to have the last word and block them. but if it spills over into facebook it's difficult to do that unless you got the block button on speed dial so to speak.

i guess when they reject you, you kick yourself cos you know if you supplicate after they say you're not compatible then you get annoyed and it turns into an argument and name calling.

what the hell is wrong with these women who get offended when they get compliments? it must be a personality defect too? i see it written in their profiles.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

I'm currently dieting, getting down to a lean physique with a 6 pack etc, when I achieve that maybe I'll use POF as additional way to meet women, but until then real life is far better!

 

[pdx1138]

i was thinking the same thing, a lot of baggage, kids etc. BUT from time to time you get some real quality women on there for whatever reason, had a recent break up

I was shocked as all hell to meet a very high quality cute girl with no kids, there recently.

 

[J Roc]

Are there no attention wores in "the field"?

Its easier to weed out the attention wh0res in person than it is by emailing and texting them back and forth for 3 days..

 

[Iceberg]

Its easier to weed out the attention wh0res in person than it is by emailing and texting them back and forth for 3 days..

Nah. Not really.

But hey, if you're anti-online dating, that's your right.

 

[pete101]

I was shocked as all hell to meet a very high quality cute girl with no kids, there recently.

did you figure out why she was on there?

like recent break up, or just did it for a laugh.