the problem of being average looks on POF

[big weezy]

Well,

At least she offered her number.

I just wouldn't settle for a weekend cyberconference.

Here's what I would do (and this is just my opinion):

Call/text her on Thursday and cancel the weekend. But make a counteroffer. "Hi _______. I'm sorry but I can't make it this weekend. How about I call/text you Thursday to set up a date next weekend for a nice conversation over a drink or two?"

is this to convey i'm not desperate and needy?

i see what you're doing here, it's demonstrating to her that i'm not available at her beck and call.

wouldn't her interest have plummeted over a week later?

remember im just some internet guy.. judging by her pics she must be inundated with 100s of messages from guys.

then again i agree with you that i'll not be like those other guys who just accepts what she does/says.

it's a tough one, do you smell a flake here? asking to confirm is a bit iffy tho generally i dont like to set up dates on tuesday for the weekend. i should be more immediate tbh and gone for tomorrow or thurs night.

 

[big weezy]

It's always possible that a chick will flake on you. That's why I like to keep those first few dates simple, local, and cheap. Just a drink or two at a local watering hole for 1-2 hours is fine. That way, if she does flake, you don't lose out.

My point is: if she hasn't committed her time, then there is no date. It's that simple. I don't allow her to have her cake and eat it too. I'm not forcing her to go out with me, but I am giving her an ultimatum: it's either "yes I'll be there" or "no I can't make it." Nothing in between for me. I will accept "yes" or "no." I won't accept, "sure. Sounds good but I may have to cancel." Nope. Not good enough. That's when I will say, "That's OK. I'd rather wait until you know that you're free. How about I call you next Wednesday and see if we can arrange for a Friday meet up?"

And yes, the earliest weekday I'll invite a chick out for a Friday night date is Wednesday night.

But in my mind, it's OK to invite her out, say, on Tuesday for a simple drinkdate on Thursday.

maybe it was smart i didn't actually suggest a time, just that this weekend would be good, so it's like a semi-ask out date letting me contact on thursday or friday with the right time?

if i went straight into, lets meet at 5pm on Sun yesterday 5 days in advance esp when it's an internet date it just asking for trouble.

on a side note, the other one who replied to my message finall i think is just attention wh0ring? i suspect that.. i notice they'll put extra smiley faces and kisses at the end of messages to manipulate you into replying.. i was wary of this, i asked her out, she told me it was a lovely idea for a date and said she already had plans this weekend so she has to say no. this tells me definitely attention wh0ring right? cos she would very least offered a different day or continued the conversation in some way. i think i shouldn't bother with her now.

thirdly, i have a pretty good line i send to each pof girl which gets good feedback however i change things like insert their name and their profession to make it look less copy paste job, but i got called out on it today someone teling me it's a cut paste job.. that tells me i may need to add more to the message to make it look copy paste?

i know you keep it simple of just 'nice photos how are you?' type of thing which is generic but at the same time doesn't look copy/paste, i feel like i need to send a better message to showcase how i'm different from the rest of the desperate losers on there and have some charm and wit. maybe i need to add a bit to the profile which says something specific to them so they dont suss it out?

it's such double standards, they dont even look at my profile

it's annoying cos she thought it was a copy paste message and gave me grief for it, i didnt really know how to respond tbh, i just denied it and tried negging her.. but she just wasnt interested, i think it's the first impression problem. but maybe it's a blessing in disguise that i need to change up my msg more, usually it just gets ignored so maybe i've found out why.

 

[big weezy]

Responses in bold.

haha do you want to know something really f'd up now?

the one which we've been talking about who gave me the number but not confirmed the time turns out she used to do p0rn hahaha.. she's a legit model judging by her recent stuff and new name title. nothing from what i see appears to be a guy penetrating her literally those cam wh0res who play on cam etc.

now my issue is, is this a fake?

tbh given how the back and forths have gone it'd suggest she's genuine given the messages but i haven't called it yet, i think better use my spare number in case it ends up being a fake or something.

i think i understand why she's on internet dating now, she was too good to be true.. i can't tell if her profile is genuine or fake i'll just have to play it by ear.

it's weird going into something knowing she's a dirty x rated former cam slvt but you're under the false pretence that she's a legit model, it seems in this country she came make enough money from regular modelling.

 

[big weezy]

Responses in bold.

the one i mentioned before who didn't reply to me, then i made the cardinal mistake of following up with another question and another who replied to them later, but then replied to the original message trying to manipulate me into replying with x at the end, if she was just attention wh0ring is the best thing to do not reply?

i did sense she was trying to chase me down to reply to validate her, and by me replying i caved in, i asked her out, and she gives me some BS answer of that she's busy this weekend so it'll have to be a 'no' wtf??

i didn't even get her number, is it pointless contacting her again cos she didn't even make a suggestion of another time or whatever.. seems like she was just using me for attention, she didn't even want to continue the conversation further. is me ignoring her and not contacting her is she gona notice or does she have so many guys messaaging her she wont care or realise?

i thought she was interested yesterday but it seems she was just using me, i guess attention wh0res feign interest very well and soon as it comes to giving numbers out or agreeing to a time if you're not her 'ideal' guy she just weasles her way out.

(this isn't the one who i number closed yesterday btw)

 

[MaudGrimes]

Knock POF on the head - it can become a crutch to use instead of going out and meeting women in person... it will not allow you to improve your social interactions and in my experience will not get you access to the women you actually want.

 

[big weezy]

Well,

At least she offered her number.

I just wouldn't settle for a weekend cyberconference.

Here's what I would do (and this is just my opinion):

Call/text her on Thursday and cancel the weekend. But make a counteroffer. "Hi _______. I'm sorry but I can't make it this weekend. How about I call/text you Thursday to set up a date next weekend for a nice conversation over a drink or two?"

i think you were right, i sent a text last night to say:

hey lets get together at x place this weekend, i have a few things on but should have a couple hours free at 4pm Sat/Sun, how's then?

a day later today:

hey, thank you for message. unfortunately im stuck home with a flu so unless i feel really better by tomorrow i'd suggest meeting up another day?


it sounds like exactly what you said and what i said, a flake. i think being ill is so cliche and BS even if it's true.

what would you suggest i respond with? i feel like she should offer me another day now but given she's 'ill' she won't know when she's better so technically doesn't have to.

i get it, she wants me to offer another time to see if i will.

should i just stick to sunday and see if she grabs the bait.

i feel like a chump if i offer another day?

i was gona send tomorrow:

it's ok, i've already made other plans for today, i can still do tomorrow at 4 otherwise how's mon evening at 8pm at x place?


i think this is me showing i'm way too available? im not thinking straight.


maybe i should just keep to the sunday and see if she takes the bait.

'it's ok, i've already made plans for today. i can still do tomorrow at 4 though. let me know by tomorrow morning.'

is this better?

tbh im not looking at the big picture. Low IL.

 

[big weezy]

If it were me, I would respond with something like, "well, how about we hold off doing anything until next weekend? I'll call/text next Wed. And see if you're feeling better."

Keep in mind that she did counter offer. That's why I would respond.

i agree, but it's a 'fake' counter offer. i remember reading on this forum somewhere someone saying that 'how about another day?' or 'how about next week?' or 'how about another time?' are not real counter offers.. they just want you to come back to show how available you are and validate them.. so you have to urr on the side of caution with these types of messages.

it's pretty clear it's BS that she's ill esp when it was premeditated that i had to 'confirm' in advance.

is the reason you've suggested i go for next weekend is to show i'm not desperate and available?

i feel like with some of these pof b1tches you just have to strike while the irons hot, by next weekend she could have someone else she's interested in, until i meet her, im just a picture with words.