Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
A couple short years ago the debate was raging about "Do looks matter?". You would read here frequent heated arguments from both sides of the camp.
For the record, my argument always was that innate, genetic good looks matter less than presentation. In other words, that a man can overcome less than ideal looks through clothing, a sense of style, body language and spitting decent game.
There were many who vehemently argued that looks don't matter in any way, shape or form.
About 2 years ago, almost overnight, that debate virtually ceased. I always found that very curious. Nowadays, the pendulum which for so long swung to the "looks don't matter" side has swung totally to the other side. I find the vast majority of posters stating that looks are everything, that a man has no chance with women unless you attract them physically with innate good looks first.
I would like to submit that we have gone too far in the other direction regarding "good looks". Good looks certainly help, but they can also be a liability with lower self-esteen women. Overall, though, they make it easier for a man to initially attract women.
But that is not to say that a man can't overcome physical liabilites with solid presentation. When a man presents himself well and spits decent game, her little brain hamster will shift into gear to rationalize attraction. She is fully capable of dating outside her league if other qualities make up for a looks deficit.
I have many times dated women who I knew were out of my league looks-wise because I had displayed qualities that enabled her to rationalize the discrepancy away (Not that I'm a bad-looking guy). I simply mean women who normally would initially think "Not in my league".
What are these qualities? Well, I stated them above. I'll recap and expand here:
Fitness
Women are very attracted to a look of health and fitness, just like you are. If you are pudgy or too skinny, that is major points off. Hit the gym and develop a decent physique. That will go a long way toward attraction, not to mention respect from other men, which women find hugely attractive.
Clothing
I notice that the ancient phrases that have fallen out of favor have existed for centuries because there is at least a ring of truth to them. "Clothing makes the man". Your clothing is your suit of armour in the world of game. Do you want to be a dashing, shining knight who dazzles her, or the rag-wearing stable hand who brushes the knight's horse?
Your clothing matters to her. She spends her entire life on her looks, clothing and presentation, and she naturally notices yours. Your clothing tells the world what you think about yourself more than you might think. You don't have to run around in a business suit all day (the ultimate suit of armour), but simply dress neatly with a little sense of style. That will go a long way toward overcoming the looks barrier. Oh, and shoes... The very first and most important thing a women evaluates is a man's shoes. Take that one to the bank, men. A nice, clean pair of shoes, whether formal or casual, factors way out of porportion in her evaluation process. Leverage that.
Body LanguageMove around like a healthy, fit man. No slumping or slouching (however, a James Dean-like slouching can work in your favor).
Move slowly and deliberately. It's crucially important to demonstrate mastery over time and space. Along with moving and speaking deliberately, take up lots of space. Legs should be apart when you sit, and your phone and keys should be placed at arm's reach in order to claim an innordinate amount of territory.
When speaking, be careful not to move and nod your head too much. Look at gay guys. They swing their heads to and fro like bobble-heads as they speak. The more you gesticulate the less attractive you are for the most part. Keep control of your head movements. Don't speak with lots of emotion and articulation (though some articulation is good). Control your eyes. Don't talk excitedly about things with that wide-eyed look. Keep them slit and narrow. Remember, we're tallking here about overcoming a looks deficit so all these little things matter. That wide-eyed look is a feminine emotional trait and believe me, you don't wear it well.
Game
Learn how to talk to women with authority and confidence. Confidence is nothing more than social ease. If you don't convey social ease, take the hammer to yourself and start sculpting. Make small-talk every day with anybody and everybody you come across. You will start to develop social ease over a period of time. Learn to subtly order women around. Don't request. Command.
When you combine all these factors and get them working for you, you will have a working system that will overcome the looks problem once and for all.
Have women become far too aware of looks? Yes they have; In today's contrived society they have been conditioned to do so. Are we powerless about that? Far from it. Your whole aura changes when you take control of your presentation to the world with the simple steps outlined above.
The pendulum has swung way to far toward the "looks are everything" side around here. That attitude is very fatalistic and ignores womens' propensity to rationalize what they want to feel.
For a man, personal presentation is the male analog for her artificial, painted on face that we universally are attracted to. We are attracted to the falsehood of painted-on femininity, and much less so her actual looks. Remember the first time you saw an attractive women without her makeup on? It was a genuine shock to the system, wasn't it? You had to rationalize that at least she goes out in public with a painted face on.
I will repeat the maxim for those who didn't get it:
Personal presentation is the male analog to female makeup and clothing.
Leverage it and attracting women will become far easier for you.
For the record, my argument always was that innate, genetic good looks matter less than presentation. In other words, that a man can overcome less than ideal looks through clothing, a sense of style, body language and spitting decent game.
There were many who vehemently argued that looks don't matter in any way, shape or form.
About 2 years ago, almost overnight, that debate virtually ceased. I always found that very curious. Nowadays, the pendulum which for so long swung to the "looks don't matter" side has swung totally to the other side. I find the vast majority of posters stating that looks are everything, that a man has no chance with women unless you attract them physically with innate good looks first.
I would like to submit that we have gone too far in the other direction regarding "good looks". Good looks certainly help, but they can also be a liability with lower self-esteen women. Overall, though, they make it easier for a man to initially attract women.
But that is not to say that a man can't overcome physical liabilites with solid presentation. When a man presents himself well and spits decent game, her little brain hamster will shift into gear to rationalize attraction. She is fully capable of dating outside her league if other qualities make up for a looks deficit.
I have many times dated women who I knew were out of my league looks-wise because I had displayed qualities that enabled her to rationalize the discrepancy away (Not that I'm a bad-looking guy). I simply mean women who normally would initially think "Not in my league".
What are these qualities? Well, I stated them above. I'll recap and expand here:
Fitness
Women are very attracted to a look of health and fitness, just like you are. If you are pudgy or too skinny, that is major points off. Hit the gym and develop a decent physique. That will go a long way toward attraction, not to mention respect from other men, which women find hugely attractive.
Clothing
I notice that the ancient phrases that have fallen out of favor have existed for centuries because there is at least a ring of truth to them. "Clothing makes the man". Your clothing is your suit of armour in the world of game. Do you want to be a dashing, shining knight who dazzles her, or the rag-wearing stable hand who brushes the knight's horse?
Your clothing matters to her. She spends her entire life on her looks, clothing and presentation, and she naturally notices yours. Your clothing tells the world what you think about yourself more than you might think. You don't have to run around in a business suit all day (the ultimate suit of armour), but simply dress neatly with a little sense of style. That will go a long way toward overcoming the looks barrier. Oh, and shoes... The very first and most important thing a women evaluates is a man's shoes. Take that one to the bank, men. A nice, clean pair of shoes, whether formal or casual, factors way out of porportion in her evaluation process. Leverage that.
Body LanguageMove around like a healthy, fit man. No slumping or slouching (however, a James Dean-like slouching can work in your favor).
Move slowly and deliberately. It's crucially important to demonstrate mastery over time and space. Along with moving and speaking deliberately, take up lots of space. Legs should be apart when you sit, and your phone and keys should be placed at arm's reach in order to claim an innordinate amount of territory.
When speaking, be careful not to move and nod your head too much. Look at gay guys. They swing their heads to and fro like bobble-heads as they speak. The more you gesticulate the less attractive you are for the most part. Keep control of your head movements. Don't speak with lots of emotion and articulation (though some articulation is good). Control your eyes. Don't talk excitedly about things with that wide-eyed look. Keep them slit and narrow. Remember, we're tallking here about overcoming a looks deficit so all these little things matter. That wide-eyed look is a feminine emotional trait and believe me, you don't wear it well.
Game
Learn how to talk to women with authority and confidence. Confidence is nothing more than social ease. If you don't convey social ease, take the hammer to yourself and start sculpting. Make small-talk every day with anybody and everybody you come across. You will start to develop social ease over a period of time. Learn to subtly order women around. Don't request. Command.
When you combine all these factors and get them working for you, you will have a working system that will overcome the looks problem once and for all.
Have women become far too aware of looks? Yes they have; In today's contrived society they have been conditioned to do so. Are we powerless about that? Far from it. Your whole aura changes when you take control of your presentation to the world with the simple steps outlined above.
The pendulum has swung way to far toward the "looks are everything" side around here. That attitude is very fatalistic and ignores womens' propensity to rationalize what they want to feel.
For a man, personal presentation is the male analog for her artificial, painted on face that we universally are attracted to. We are attracted to the falsehood of painted-on femininity, and much less so her actual looks. Remember the first time you saw an attractive women without her makeup on? It was a genuine shock to the system, wasn't it? You had to rationalize that at least she goes out in public with a painted face on.
I will repeat the maxim for those who didn't get it:
Personal presentation is the male analog to female makeup and clothing.
Leverage it and attracting women will become far easier for you.
this is truly what many, many women making 30-40K expect...they deserve a dude making 10-15X times more than they do