The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[DarwinTaurus]

My Ex, whom we got together and broke up three times... we remained friends for a year after, however, last October, she sent me a text pretty much telling me never to contact her again. This was because she saw some comments I posted on a Tik Tok video about Avoidant Personality, and I wrote something along the line of "reminds me of my ex".

So, I thought fine, I'm tired of the emotional yo-yo, never responded and left it at that. Six months later, April of this year, I got a random text from her on a Friday night, saying she wanted a "softer goodbye". Probably my bad, as I did respond. She texted me also saying that she went on a date not long ago, but heading to the date, she wished it was me.

We went out to dinner a few times, and I ended up sleeping with her, and her house. We weren't going to get back together, it was just an opportunity. However, just recently, she told me that she has started seeing someone, which has given me mixed feelings. We have history together, and it would be ok to remain friends (which I know people here would think to be sheer madness), but perhaps I should just let it go for good. My boss and good mate, and my sister, think I'm mad. Perhaps I need to wake up.

 

[Chow Mein]

My Ex, whom we got together and broke up three times... we remained friends for a year after, however, last October, she sent me a text pretty much telling me never to contact her again. This was because she saw some comments I posted on a Tik Tok video about Avoidant Personality, and I wrote something along the line of "reminds me of my ex".

So, I thought fine, I'm tired of the emotional yo-yo, never responded and left it at that. Six months later, April of this year, I got a random text from her on a Friday night, saying she wanted a "softer goodbye". Probably my bad, as I did respond. She texted me also saying that she went on a date not long ago, but heading to the date, she wished it was me.

We went out to dinner a few times, and I ended up sleeping with her, and her house. We weren't going to get back together, it was just an opportunity. However, just recently, she told me that she has started seeing someone, which has given me mixed feelings. We have history together, and it would be ok to remain friends (which I know people here would think to be sheer madness), but perhaps I should just let it go for good. My boss and good mate, and my sister, think I'm mad. Perhaps I need to wake up.

Would you be open to keeping her as a plate?

 

[DarwinTaurus]

Would you be open to keeping her as a plate?

If she remained single, I would. But I've read in this forum, which I agree is a big NO NO, that once your EX has had another Man inside her, you never go back.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

We have history together, and it would be ok to remain friends (which I know people here would think to be sheer madness), but perhaps I should just let it go for good. My boss and good mate, and my sister, think I'm mad. Perhaps I need to wake up.

Would you be open to keeping her as a plate?

I think you probably have too many feelings for her still have a casual sexual relationship with her.

 

[TheGambino]

It’s been 6 weeks since my ex fwb and I agreed to call it quits. She still liked me but i found out she made out with another guy. Though we had no ltr or agreements. Saw her last week in the bar I go to every weekend and she tried to get my attention by smiling waving and I greeted her quickly and moved on. I expected a text but none. Though she comes online for a long time on WhatsApp when I am too I think she is looking at my profile. But who knows she’s chatting with her a new guy. Whatever, I think a lot about texting her since she was very happy and eager to see me I saw in the bar but i resist the urge. Been on a couple of dates with new girls but I didn’t like them so much.

I’m going to stick to my guns, sometimes you feel like u wanna text. Lets keep her uncertain and unknown about my thoughts. So NC.

 

[teapotinthejetstream@yaho]

im heartbroken over my first girlfriend cheating, she told me she wants me to violate her her and stick a knife in her and all this stuff. i told her she can come over but she said no come to me so im back go ignoring her again. and ive got no job and my dad is always yelling at me. so its like a double whammy from both sides. my dad is making me feel bad everyday and im heart broken over my ex too and my dad offers zero emotional support and is kicking me out of the house when i have no job

 

[Chow Mein]

If she remained single, I would. But I've read in this forum, which I agree is a big NO NO, that once your EX has had another Man inside her, you never go back.

I think you probably have too many feelings for her still have a casual sexual relationship with her.

Yep, classic case of oneitus, but this time on steroids.

Funny that oneitus can be seen as a hot potato

 

[Chow Mein]

It’s been 6 weeks since my ex fwb and I agreed to call it quits. She still liked me but i found out she made out with another guy. Though we had no ltr or agreements. Saw her last week in the bar I go to every weekend and she tried to get my attention by smiling waving and I greeted her quickly and moved on. I expected a text but none. Though she comes online for a long time on WhatsApp when I am too I think she is looking at my profile. But who knows she’s chatting with her a new guy. Whatever, I think a lot about texting her since she was very happy and eager to see me I saw in the bar but i resist the urge. Been on a couple of dates with new girls but I didn’t like them so much.

I’m going to stick to my guns, sometimes you feel like u wanna text. Lets keep her uncertain and unknown about my thoughts. So NC.

Sometimes, you gotta admit your life ain’t what you claim it to be. Accept it and you’ll pursue the life that you want.

 

[Chow Mein]

im heartbroken over my first girlfriend cheating, she told me she wants me to violate her her and stick a knife in her and all this stuff. i told her she can come over but she said no come to me so im back go ignoring her again. and ive got no job and my dad is always yelling at me. so its like a double whammy from both sides. my dad is making me feel bad everyday and im heart broken over my ex too and my dad offers zero emotional support and is kicking me out of the house when i have no job

Read your first sentence, then realized your username was literally a Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V of your ‘registered’ email account. But, why??

They say that it’s tough to graduate the DJ University, but hell, they have been uppin’ their graduation rates tremendously…

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Saw her last week in the bar I go to every weekend and she tried to get my attention by smiling waving and I greeted her quickly and moved on. I expected a text but none. Though she comes online for a long time on WhatsApp when I am too I think she is looking at my profile. But who knows she’s chatting with her a new guy. Whatever, I think a lot about texting her since she was very happy and eager to see me I saw in the bar but i resist the urge. Been on a couple of dates with new girls but I didn’t like them so much.

You're practising 'delayed contact' not 'no contact'. Emotionally, you're still attached to her. Nothing good will come of that.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

im heartbroken over my first girlfriend cheating, she told me she wants me to violate her her and stick a knife in her and all this stuff. i told her she can come over but she said no come to me so im back go ignoring her again. and ive got no job and my dad is always yelling at me. so its like a double whammy from both sides. my dad is making me feel bad everyday and im heart broken over my ex too and my dad offers zero emotional support and is kicking me out of the house when i have no job

I think you have some growing up to do.

 

[TheGambino]

You're practising 'delayed contact' not 'no contact'. Emotionally, you're still attached to her. Nothing good will come of that.

You are right I know. @AmsterdamAssassin let’s see what happens if I run into her again. Going to keep frame and nc

 

[teapotinthejetstream@yaho]

Read your first sentence, then realized your username was literally a Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V of your ‘registered’ email account. But, why??

They say that it’s tough to graduate the DJ University, but hell, they have been uppin’ their graduation rates tremendously…

what does that mean

 

[Foe]

When Albanian showed up I sat with her, talked, bought drinks and homerun. Closed the deal.

Dude you handled this situation like an absolute boss. Well done. BTW completely ignore her BS "first time I've gone out", guaranteed she's been out plenty, she's just pissed you had a hottie and she had to sit on the side lines.

 

[Doctor Doom]

The point of No Contact is exactly as it states, no contact. Men try to use NC as a form of hoping to get the girl back. Wrong mindset. Block her and permanently move on. Permanently. No contact.

 

[Zontyy]

I'm back in the gym with a routine, a few woman at work have been dropping into my DMs. I've ignored them all though because I'm still in my custody battle and don't want to get distracted. I have full temporary custody of my son now. My EX picked up a DWI while doing over 100MPH on the highway, double over the legal limit with my son in car with his half sister. She now has felony charges, my son was removed and given custody to me because of the latest incident. Since then my EX has forged mortgage documents with the house we had together which might be a second felony police are investigating. During one of our custody exchanges (she is allowed 2 hours a week supervised) she stunned me with an electric stun gun and dropped off the radar since then. She was served papers to force the sale of the home we have together. We were supposed to have custody trial but her public defender asked to be removed as she was abusive and the trial is delayed for another 2-3 months.

I think I might be finally free of this woman, there were lots of bad times. Though I look back on memories and the wild sex and I wonder if I'll ever find a girl with that sex drive again. Wishful thinking says in the future could be a hookup when I'm lonely, I'm sure she would be down for a weekend of fun. Then reality hits and this woman straight tried to ruin me and probably will continue to try and ruin me. Best just to stay away.

 

[mikey2012]

Women get over breakups much easier than men because women begin the detachment process during the relationship. Generally, they begin "breaking up" with you in their minds months before the actual breakup occurrs. Men aren't wired like this. Men see the break-up conversation as the "end" and they are then recovering for the next number of months after that point. Women, however, would have gone through that process months before. It is why they can seem so cold in how easily they get over you. You are pouring out your heart to her while she has already moved on and begun fantasizing about her co-worker (or began banging them even).

Keep this in mind for your future LTRs. It will save you a load of grief if you can recognize this dynamic at play during the relationship and know it is time to begin protecting yourself so you aren't caught with your pants down.

I’m back after 10 years so let me summarize :

never get married
Never have kids
Never get emotionally involved
Never do anything for a woman. Make them do things for you
Focus on your own success.
Be comfortable alone

 

[Lotus Effect]

Here I am again.

new chick. Same old.

well, let’s go. Day one.

 

[mikey2012]

Here I am again.

new chick. Same old.

well, let’s go. Day one.

That’s because you are emotionally invested.

 

[mikey2012]

Women will look for anything to justify their actions so they can "save face" with the outside world. They are also masters of bending the truth (or outright lying sometimes) to make you sound like a huge a$$ to anyone who will listen. "I had to break up with jamesfromhouston. He was a borderline narcissist with mommy issues and never let me do anything I wanted. He didn't let me be ME."

Good riddance.

This exactly . They will make excuses for themselves for cheating ie he didn’t pay enough attention , buy me gifts , didn’t love me etc to justify their actions . Don’t fall for this .