The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[alex_in24]

@Alex

That's good that you are getting some good feelings back but don't get too high because this chit comes in waves... one minute you feel great and then all the sudden you feel like crap again.

When you feel like chit again, and it will happen, try to remember times like when you were in the gym and that you can feel better again. Eventually you will feel good all the time.

Basically I'm just saying don't get too overconfident. Repping out sets in the gym feels nice but we can't do it 24/7 and its when you are alone your mind will start playing tricks on you again.

Yes thats very true sir, i'm aware that im gonna have ups and downs and that is totally true and expected. I was just trying to be as much positive and happy as i can, so at least for those 2-3 hrs i would completely forget about my ex and that new guy.

 

[dustmuffin]

Got an unexpected text from her today, I deleted it but it basically said:

"Hi Fireballs, sorry to bother you with a couple of things, I'm moving house next weekend and found a few things of yours for your car. Could you come and pick them up? Or I'm happy to leave them out for you. (Haven't seen her since the break up and have sorted out the boat paperwork without having to see her, she knows I don't want to see her)

Also where did you buy the printer from? It's giving an error and I'm trying to get it serviced (it maybe under warranty?) once it's fixed do you want it? Otherwise I'll give it away.

Also have you transferred the contents insurance to your new place yet?

Also also do you want the bed?"

I didn't respond because I was just starting to feel better then I get this..don't care if I come across as rude I just REALLY don't want to communicate at all with her.

Ok firstly the stuff I forgot in the shed was a bucket and some car wash..I don't want these.. Can't she just chuck them in the bin?

Secondly I left the printer there because I didn't want it

Thirdly our yearly insurance was like fifty bucks each and I haven't cancelled or changed it.. It will get cancelled automatically when we don't renew it which she knows

Lastly if I wanted the bed I would've taken it and she knows this

She's a smart girl so surely she would have figured all this out?? I just don't see a reason for the text..

Just remain NC you don't owe her anything.

 

[LiveYourDream]

@Alex

That's good that you are getting some good feelings back but don't get too high because this chit comes in waves... one minute you feel great and then all the sudden you feel like crap again.

When you feel like chit again, and it will happen, try to remember times like when you were in the gym and that you can feel better again. Eventually you will feel good all the time.

Basically I'm just saying don't get too overconfident. Repping out sets in the gym feels nice but we can't do it 24/7 and its when you are alone your mind will start playing tricks on you again.

If @alex_in24 or any man feels like a million bucks, let him. He doesn't need to hold back or rein it in because some day he's going to feel ****ty again, so he's needs to be prepared somehow. Fvck that! What will serve him best is to feel like a million bucks, as often as he can. When moments come that he feels crappy, he just needs to just remember that they will pass.

I personally think if you feel like a million bucks, it's best to revel in it, enjoy it, feel it with all your senses, and imprint the feeling in your consciousness, so you can attune yourself to feeling that way more and more. I see no benefit to dimming one's joy and one's confidence as a preventive measure for times when you may feel ****ty. Make feeling high the norm, not the other way around.

 

[Fireballs]

Day 15

Have been feeling really good the last 2-3 days but today is one of the bad days..I was expecting this to happen though so all good..

 

[dustmuffin]

Day 15

Have been feeling really good the last 2-3 days but today is one of the bad days..I was expecting this to happen though so all good..

I still have bad periods of time. It used to be days. Now its just hours before I can snap myself out of it. I was dumped roughly seven months ago. I am making good progress. You will too

 

[amrit]

I started no contact on 10 april 2016 so currently its my 26th day...i was in contact with his best fried but i blocked him a week ago/...he contacted my sister twice but got no call or message from him ...feeling so down and lonely.

 

[alex_in24]

Day 17

Saw her today from my window apartment . she was standing in front of my building with her face towards my window. She knows that i can see her and she sat there for 5 mins and pretended or maybe she was talking on the phone. I felt nothing. Just laughed at her coz she was trying to get the attention from me. She didnt see me that i was watching her.

 

[alex_in24]

I cant believe it. Saw her again at the mall. I was buying some steaks to eat, and she was waiting at the other fast food store. We noticed eachother but didnt have eye to eye contact. I didnt approach her nor did she.

 

[Tictac]

I cant believe it. Saw her again at the mall. I was buying some steaks to eat, and she was waiting at the other fast food store. We noticed eachother but didnt have eye to eye contact. I didnt approach her nor did she.

Indifference is your friend. Until you take no notice whatever, she's in your head.

You should be able to talk with her like anyone else you know. Instead, you're avoiding her and acting like a beat puppy.

 

[alex_in24]

Indifference is your friend. Until you take no notice whatever, she's in your head.

You should be able to talk with her like anyone else you know. Instead, you're avoiding her and acting like a beat puppy.

I didnt actually avoid her..i would have said hi or something but why should i approach her first ? that means nc rule is broken right ?

 

[Tictac]

I didnt actually avoid her..i would have said hi or something but why should i approach her first ? that means nc rule is broken right ?

Sure. But you don't have to run, hide or look at her from behind the bushes.

Take no notice. How hard isn't that?

 

[alex_in24]

Day 18

Im in fvcking hell right now. 17 days of happiness, and today on the 18th i am burning. Atm, i am sitting in my car with tears on my face. Cant help myself and stop crying. I am right in front of the swimming pool where we once were, and have some great memories from back then. Everything its fvcking different now. Shouldnt have met her yesterday. That shocked me as god damn hell. Dont have anything else to say. Tonight i got a first date with a girl a met few days ago. At least i dont wanna fvck that up. Its inevitable that i will see my ex again as she lives 300 meters away and goes the same paths that i do. God this hurts.

 

[finality]

Day 18

Im in fvcking hell right now. 17 days of happiness, and today on the 18th i am burning. Atm, i am sitting in my car with tears on my face. Cant help myself and stop crying. I am right in front of the swimming pool where we once were, and have some great memories from back then. Everything its fvcking different now. Shouldnt have met her yesterday. That shocked me as god damn hell. Dont have anything else to say. Tonight i got a first date with a girl a met few days ago. At least i dont wanna fvck that up. Its inevitable that i will see my ex again as she lives 300 meters away and goes the same paths that i do. God this hurts.

You are already on day 18 man and doing pretty well. The pain is just your body flushing out the toxins. Embrace it but don't overindulge in thoughts. Remember how you felt when you were in the gym?

 

[alex_in24]

You are already on day 18 man and doing pretty well. The pain is just your body flushing out the toxins. Embrace it but don't overindulge in thoughts. Remember how you felt when you were in the gym?

Yeah I remember...stalked her on fb and instagram for a bit now...god it hurts. But i wont contact her, she doesn't deserves me.

 

[MrWood]

still compare girls I see to her
still sad that she cant have me again
still haunted by those bright eyes, her laughter in orgasm
still she does not deserve me
still I do not deserve her disrespect and lack of integrity

NC

 

[Fireballs]

Day 17

Didn't want to start a new thread for this question so here goes..

There's a girl in my ex gf's social circle of young Doctors who happens to play in my volleyball team. I want to ask her out for a drink but not sure if it's appropriate seeings as she is social with my ex. I just really want to bang her..... Thoughts?

 

[alex_in24]

Day 17

Didn't want to start a new thread for this question so here goes..

There's a girl in my ex gf's social circle of young Doctors who happens to play in my volleyball team. I want to ask her out for a drink but not sure if it's appropriate seeings as she is social with my ex. I just really want to bang her..... Thoughts?

I would definitely ask her out if I was you. The relationship between you and ur ex is OVER. It is not of your concern of ur exs opinion. Be Chad remember?? Like the Chad who I was gym friends with, and only after 2 weeks of separation with my ex, he ****ed her without him or her giving **** about me. Thats the guy who wins at life. Be like him and ask her out.

 

[dustmuffin]

Day 17

Didn't want to start a new thread for this question so here goes..

There's a girl in my ex gf's social circle of young Doctors who happens to play in my volleyball team. I want to ask her out for a drink but not sure if it's appropriate seeings as she is social with my ex. I just really want to bang her..... Thoughts?

Ask her out. See what happens.

 

[MrWood]

I asked out my ex-wife's sister. She had an honest excuse, and my ex-wife said hello out of the blue a month later to say hi. Me and the sister always knew we were hot for each, and my wife at the time knew it.
I may or not try t ask her out again.

 

[alex_in24]

DAY 20

Last night went out with 6 girl friends and one potential plate for a drink at a bar. I had an amazing time, my confidence was at a very high level and I was very nonchalant,funny,charming- basically yesterday I was alpha as fvck. Ofc that one potential plate, hooked up with her, she couldnt get her hands off my d1ck as she was so horny about me. She loved every second that she spent in my company. In fact, everybody loved my company last night.

Enough for yesterday, lets talk about today. As usual, i still have dreams about my ex every night. Waking up every fvcking morning thinking about her. Everyday im trying to apply that alpha mentality where i can control my thoughts and emotions and most of the time it actually works, but today thats maybe not the case. Feeling some strong pain in my chest today as thoughts are coming up where I might see her these days with someone else. Wouldnt know how to react in that kind of situation because i know that i will be filled over with emotions and pain.

Almost 50 days since the break up, and as I said 20 days since last contact, things are getting better i must admit. I also found out some nasty stuff about her past, what she did to her ex boyfriend before me, and I can truly say that this girl at least back then was a SL*T! That's why she is branch swinging now with ease.

But the most painful thing that bothers me isnt that she left me for another guy, or that im jealous now, or that i miss her or that i cant fvck her anymore.. The most painful thing is that I THOUGHT I KNEW THIS GIRL. I was so convinced in that naive and calm and loving personality that she showed and couldnt even open my eyes even if i wanted to. I had some opinions about her, some beliefs that back then i thought that would never change and that are very true and realistic. And now everything falls into water. The person I thought i knew, the person i idealized and the person i honestly loved with all of my heart and all of my soul and body, just isnt real and true. And that's what sucks the most.

I dont have anything else to say really..if some1 wants to reply to give me some valuable opinion, be my guest, if not, its all good.