The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Glumix]

But i dont want to block her for 60 days and then unblock her. She will notice this on whatsapp

You still care about her noticing this because you fear that she will take that badly and consequently she will not return.

You don't get the purpose of NC. NC is not for her to come back. NC is not for 60 days. It's forever.

We mention 60 days here, but after 60 days, you will not need to unblock her, because you will not care about her anymore. You will have healed and moved on. During those 60 days, you will learn why.

There are some guys on this forum who went back to their ex after 2+ years (even for casual sx) and fell back to the same sh!t trap and had to put the NC on once again and restart the whole process of healing. You don't want that, do you?

If you cannot stop stalking, sending her texts. If it hurts seeing her FB status and pics with her new BF. Or seeing her Whatsapp profile pic. Then block her. Delete her number. And gone she is. She will find a way to contact you if she really needs. But this is to prevent you from doing stupid things and so you will heal faster.

And BTW, you stalked and texted her, so you should reset the counter to 0 day.

 

[KittyHon]

You have a vagina. This makes it much easier for you. Start dating a new guy.

Thank you for your words. When I imaged
and consoled myself that I would find a better guy than him in future,I felt better but soon I hv no confidence that I can attract others even many ppl said i am cute in first eye. But seems not interesting and mature to keep their eyes. And i am serious in everything and sometimes cannot sense it just a joke or play.
In fact, I afraid for dating. Cause I think many guys want have body relationship that I cannot accept. Once I dated with someone, it made,me feel really bad and emptiness.
I am not easy to say yes to be one's gf, but my ex made me trust and admire him(He is really clever).
I have no confidence that I will have new good bf and have new relationship and fall in love.

 

[KittyHon]

You still care about her noticing this because you fear that she will take that badly and consequently she will not return.

You don't get the purpose of NC. NC is not for her to come back. NC is not for 60 days. It's forever.

We mention 60 days here, but after 60 days, you will not need to unblock her, because you will not care about her anymore. You will have healed and moved on. During those 60 days, you will learn why.

There are some guys on this forum who went back to their ex after 2+ years (even for casual sx) and fell back to the same sh!t trap and had to put the NC on once again and restart the whole process of healing. You don't want that, do you?

If you cannot stop stalking, sending her texts. If it hurts seeing her FB status and pics with her new BF. Or seeing her Whatsapp profile pic. Then block her. Delete her number. And gone she is. She will find a way to contact you if she really needs. But this is to prevent you from doing stupid things and so you will heal faster.

And BTW, you stalked and texted her, so you should reset the counter to 0 day.

I saw your reply that I am really interesting in.
I didn't stalked my ex and didn't talk or any communication with him. When I find my new dreams and targets, it made me feel better but these days I seem back to the first few day of break up and feel painful and missing him and losing controls.
I do the things I did as the first few days and try to focus on other things but not worked.
I cannot stop thinking about him even still no contact to him
Other than sports, do you please have any other suggestions or opinions?

 

[Sprayarc]

I saw your reply that I am really interesting in.
I didn't stalked my ex and didn't talk or any communication with him. When I find my new dreams and targets, it made me feel better but these days I seem back to the first few day of break up and feel painful and missing him and losing controls.
I do the things I did as the first few days and try to focus on other things but not worked.
I cannot stop thinking about him even still no contact to him
Other than sports, do you please have any other suggestions or opinions?

This has to be a troll. Get over it. You have a vagina. That gives you many options. You sound like a child.

 

[Sprayarc]

Day 4 NC. I have trouble sleeping and i sometimes stalk her online status. I dont know should i block her. She hasnt blocked me but i guess in my mind im hoping she will send me a message but im also thinking that i never wanted her to come to my life. She always just forced it and i just allowed it. Idk yet what i want because i like talking to her but i dont want to be with her anymore. Thats why idk should i block her or not... Hmm i'll wait couple more weeks then decide. It would be easy for me to move on if i didnt live in a country where there is so empty and only so few people.

It's only been 4 days. It's going to be tough. Just stay strong. Socialize with people, even though you might not feel like it, do it. It will help get your mind off of this situation temporarily, but that's something. Better than obsessing all the time.

Give it time man. It's mind over matter. Keep your discipline, it will pay off long term.

 

[Stigma92]

Its day 4. Total days i would have had 14 if i didnt make one slip-up but it feels better now. Im now kinda used to her not be around me anymore and i dont really care about if she is in my whatsapp or not. I cared about her but i know what kinda girl she was thats why i just wanted to lose my virginity to her nothing else and thats why i didnt put 100% feelings and trust in her because she is nothing but empty promises and girl whos balance has always been off.. but i miss her as a friend.. But i long time i have never felt this peace and freedom.. For 2 years i had a girl after girl and they just forced themselves to be with me but now everything is changed. No more girls until someone very special comes. Now i have lived and experienced my youth just like my friends, dealing with women who dont even know themselves or what they want. I got my guards up now.

 

[KittyHon]

There is a guy I knew through Internet and he wanted dating me for many times.
His texting and words using and Japanese speaking really like my ex
I don't know whether it will helpful for me to less painful or I would not get over my problem.
Even I know I should face and solve the problem by myself.

 

[Stigma92]

It will be helpful because in time you get used to different people even though they remind you some people from your past from their way of writing texts to speaking but you shouldn't use him to get over someone. If you like him or want to get know him better then this is the smallest problem you got. Everything will be forgotten in time no matter how deep the connection was. You just know your ex better than anyone else but in time you notice nothing will remind you of him anymore. I had the same problem too with my ex and a girl after her they were almost the same but it disappeared so i speak from experience.

 

[Sprayarc]

Its day 4. Total days i would have had 14 if i didnt make one slip-up but it feels better now. Im now kinda used to her not be around me anymore and i dont really care about if she is in my whatsapp or not. I cared about her but i know what kinda girl she was thats why i just wanted to lose my virginity to her nothing else and thats why i didnt put 100% feelings and trust in her because she is nothing but empty promises and girl whos balance has always been off.. but i miss her as a friend.. But i long time i have never felt this peace and freedom.. For 2 years i had a girl after girl and they just forced themselves to be with me but now everything is changed. No more girls until someone very special comes. Now i have lived and experienced my youth just like my friends, dealing with women who dont even know themselves or what they want. I got my guards up now.

 

[Stigma92]

Day 5. Everything has been going great. Sometimes at nights i have weird moods because i used to talk to her then with her but now it feels so empty. I think this nc will go on for a long time which is good for me. Not so much pain left anymore... Just thinking maybe if i would been little bit patient maybe things would have been different but i couldnt stand no more get treated like ****. Im happy.

 

[indisguise]

Hey Guys, I am new here and I really need help..
I've known this girl for over a year. we've been great together I can't imagine a better match for me! we had our fights but everything was ok until we broke up a while ago. nothing really has gone bad between us we just wanted different things and that was ok when we were friends. but they turn to be real problems when emotions got in the middle. (I'm 25, she's 23)

I kept my NC for over 45 days, during this time I started to heal from my misery and the unbearable pain I was going through. at first I was thinking of ways to fix things and find solutions. but then I got more convinced that it isn't going to work. even though she's great and nice and pleasant in every way. but we are different and we want different things.

Anyway, she texted me wishing me a happy new year 10 days ago. I replied to her because I'm healed and she's from the past. and because I don't want to be rude to her. this girl's life is hard as it is and I don't want to cause her misery or pain knowing that she hasn't moved on yet. I honestly want to ease her pain even if that means i get to suffer more. this might sound crazy but I can't stand seeing her in pain..
After I replied to her text we kept talking for a while and got into some arguments about our issues. she's clearly hasn't moved on and wants to get back together but she won't admit it. she wants me to ask her first.
I don't know what to do, I can't stop thinking about her now, all the good memories flooded back and I really really just want to tell her how much I miss her. but i don't know where this relationship is going. I'm torn between my emotions and my decision of moving on..

Any thoughts?
thanks.

 

[Stigma92]

You already said it. You two want different things. That should say you something that stay away completely. You have kept 45 days of nc. Do you really want to risk your healing process for some emotions even though her life is hard. She seems like unstable girl and those are dangerous. If u cant live a healthy happy times with her dont go near her. They are just emotions nothing more they die over time. Close your heart and think with your brain. Can you see a future with her? Idk, but i have had the same experience with this girl. We was completely different and wanted different things and i told her right from the start but she didnt listen and now after two years she realized it to. But just like you. I miss talking to her and her friendship, but no can do. If you dont trust her 100%, if this isnt something you want 100% if u just think that these are just emotions playing your logical mind, dont bother. I really dont know what to say. If knew her and you better i would say something more.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

@indisguise, look mate, you have to be more selfish. For you and for those around you. Let's suppose that you want to have a LTR some time along the way, you need to be selfish if you want your gf to be happy, is like that, really. Read The Rational Male and the DJBible. Now, even though it would be benefitial to that possible woman, you should do it for yourself. I mean, let's say that in 10 years you want a LTR, because you think it will make you happier in that point of your life, so you have to keep your gf happy in order to continue the LTR, then you need to be selfish.
I understand that you worry about that girl, but it's not your problem anymore. And we could say even more: she will resent you for being a beta guy supporting her after a breakup; you will resent her for using you to support her after a breakup. So if you want to conserve a good memory of the relationship, go NC.
Stay strong mate.

 

[Sprayarc]

So

Hey Guys, I am new here and I really need help..
I've known this girl for over a year. we've been great together I can't imagine a better match for me! we had our fights but everything was ok until we broke up a while ago. nothing really has gone bad between us we just wanted different things and that was ok when we were friends. but they turn to be real problems when emotions got in the middle. (I'm 25, she's 23)

I kept my NC for over 45 days, during this time I started to heal from my misery and the unbearable pain I was going through. at first I was thinking of ways to fix things and find solutions. but then I got more convinced that it isn't going to work. even though she's great and nice and pleasant in every way. but we are different and we want different things.

Anyway, she texted me wishing me a happy new year 10 days ago. I replied to her because I'm healed and she's from the past. and because I don't want to be rude to her. this girl's life is hard as it is and I don't want to cause her misery or pain knowing that she hasn't moved on yet. I honestly want to ease her pain even if that means i get to suffer more. this might sound crazy but I can't stand seeing her in pain..
After I replied to her text we kept talking for a while and got into some arguments about our issues. she's clearly hasn't moved on and wants to get back together but she won't admit it. she wants me to ask her first.
I don't know what to do, I can't stop thinking about her now, all the good memories flooded back and I really really just want to tell her how much I miss her. but i don't know where this relationship is going. I'm torn between my emotions and my decision of moving on..

Any thoughts?
thanks.

If she cared about you she'd act like it.

 

[S. Aureus]

Day 9
Feeling great. Trying to be a little more ****y and funny and the only contact was today when the teacher gave us our calification. She look at me and say hi.
The only problem is that today I've have a party of a girl friend and her BBF is her, my ex. So she is going to be there so. Should I go? I've have a backup plan if I don't go to the party but my friend really hope that I go.

 

[Stigma92]

Day 9 of NC.2 days ago I saw her coming out of our apartment. Shes my neighbour. I didnt look at her. Today I dont know what happened, i had been quite happy for few days when suddenly the agonizing pain came back and i realized how much i missed talking to her but not her as a person. I know these are just mood swings because im in the beginning stages of NC but damn its hurts and makes me sad... I feel like a weight was removed from my shoulder and i can breathe and be myself again but its scary.. For 2 years i havent been alone. This feels weird. I hope next few days are better...

 

[CuddleJunkie]

i missed talking to her but not her as a person.

You have no idea of how common this is. You miss the act in itself, not the woman. I had a dream in the first days of NC about a trip we made to Paris, but I misssed the sensation of making an amazing trip with a girl that loved me, not the girl per se. Do you understand what I'm saying?
So don't worry Stigma92, just keep this on, it gets better, then its get a little worse, and then you're clean.

 

[Jack Hensy]

If a chick dumps me I will ask her why? Then I will say...I don't need you anyway you worthless bltch!
Then I would get my things and walk out of her life for good and never contact her again.
Why does DJ advocate playing games with women as if to gain power? For what reason? So she can nail some other guy within the 60 day time period. Bro, its going to hurt either way! Just move on permanently, grieve over the loss for 6 months and move on!
AGAIN, quit playing games with women. These DJ rules are stupid! It seems like a game of power.
Here are some suggestions to be successful with women: Quit the James Bond act, drop your ego, be genuine, be nice, show warmth, if a girl is playing games with you dump her, be direct and walk up to her and say Hi and strike up a conversation. You don't need to play games to get a girlfriend.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

If a chick dumps me I will ask her why? Then I will say...I don't need you anyway you worthless bltch!
Then I would get my things and walk out of her life for good and never contact her again.
Why does DJ advocate playing games with women as if to gain power? For what reason? So she can nail some other guy within the 60 day time period. Bro, its going to hurt either way! Just move on permanently, grieve over the loss for 6 months and move on!
AGAIN, quit playing games with women. These DJ rules are stupid! It seems like a game of power.
Here are some suggestions to be successful with women: Quit the James Bond act, drop your ego, be genuine, be nice, show warmth, if a girl is playing games with you dump her, be direct and walk up to her and say Hi and strike up a conversation. You don't need to play games to get a girlfriend.

lmaoing at your life jack hensy, what a joke

 

[Sprayarc]

If a chick dumps me I will ask her why? Then I will say...I don't need you anyway you worthless bltch!
Then I would get my things and walk out of her life for good and never contact her again.
Why does DJ advocate playing games with women as if to gain power? For what reason? So she can nail some other guy within the 60 day time period. Bro, its going to hurt either way! Just move on permanently, grieve over the loss for 6 months and move on!
AGAIN, quit playing games with women. These DJ rules are stupid! It seems like a game of power.
Here are some suggestions to be successful with women: Quit the James Bond act, drop your ego, be genuine, be nice, show warmth, if a girl is playing games with you dump her, be direct and walk up to her and say Hi and strike up a conversation. You don't need to play games to get a girlfriend.

Every thing is a game of power. With every one to different degrees.