I appreciate the comments concerning my now NC.
She ended things, waited roughly 3 weeks, shot a feel good weak text my way - i took roughly a week to text back (I was on a military course)
she invited me to see her new place... went flawless, stayed the night, had breakfast.. she texted me the next day etc.. couldn't have asked for better.
2nd go around wasn't as tight, she was kinda cool.. maybe because i didn't meet her for drinks DT, instead i told her i'd meet her at her place (was with buddies)..
she asked where this was going, if i like to chase..or why don't i..
stayed the night..
3rd go around after 3 days no text i initiate another hang out.. no dice as she needs time to 'think about stuff'..
never get around to it..
randomly see her back in my town at our small gym when i was training.. i was rattled at her being there, after I told her to give me a shout about a week earlier - she never did..
we talk, i put her through a work out and i was only in for cardio.. i get close with her - get right behind her, flesh to flesh, on how to do a pushdown properly... i do this a few more times on different excercies.. no hesitation from her - she probably liked the attention as much if not more than how she felt about me kino'ing her..
i lose a bit of frame when her best guy friend calls her mid workout... they were going to meet up later that night..
she says 'you know i think of calling you, texting you, but part of me holds back because i don't think you'll change (pretty sure that was the reason)..
we get a little heated as I'm in her frame a bit - i tell her i'll always put my career and passions ahead of her, and that i will not chase her.. at the end i told her that i was almost over you then you had to text me.. haha, she didn't like when i said that..
she then mentioned that she's in "talks with a guy" hence her coldness lately, i'm sure..
i was reactive.. butterflies when we were leaving...hate that feeling.. awful..
i walk her to her car, she thanks me - pause.. she's in the drivers seat, i go down - look in her eyes, say "i'll never get tired looking at you" pause, and kiss her. her lips weren't as receptive as mine..
i made a stoooopid comment after that (like wtf was that kiss lol) but not enough for her to say "text me later"
left it at that - not sure if she was a lil emotional..
4 days later i text her:
me: hey doll in town for a week on course.
tnight or thurs after 9 i should be available for trouble
(5 hrs later) her: Hey! I’m busy tonight and
Thursday I close. In the process of getting
another job at a restaurant
..while i was waiting for her reply – i picked up a girl at a corner store – we made plans for that evening..
3 hrs later I text back: thats fine babe found someone else 2 go with
her : (a-ok sign) awesome! Good for you
even though i didn't mean it at the time, i now feel the text i replied to her with came off as butthurt..
this is what rattles me - i may have nuclear'd the entire scene with her over that text - obviously she's hurt etc. over it. or, it was enough for her to drop before the 50% interest level - hence me having to go NC...I don't know how to gauge it..
her text before I replied seemed fairly decent, other than giving me a counter offer.. it was my bad to begin with - i should have asked her if she wanted to get together this week/ are you free this week.. not give her specific dates..
Week 1 of NC, down.
I want to reach out, badly. I feel in my gut i can plow her again, show her my charm, and fukk her mouth stupid.