The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

way2smart

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Twist of Cain said:
I obviously haven’t replied back. she mentioned last time we chilled if I liked the ‘chase’.. either that or why don’t i chase..

either way, I asked her to explain herself, she said she believes if a guy truly wants a girl he should chase after her..

It obviously mind****ed me – I’m not sure how to proceed.
If a girl asks you to text later, you NEVER text!
And you never chase a girl! You should have told her right there and then "Sorry, I never chase girls!"

Remember, if a girl truly wants you, she will make it easy for you! In fact an interested girl will walk on broken glass to meet with you. She isn't interested, move on!

And she wants you to chase because she wants to have a beta orbiter around, who doesn't? You have to stand up for yourself man.
 

Twist of Cain

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it's funny because i told her at the gym, when i asked her to clarify - i told her i'd never chase you. I don't chase girls etc..

she's a dirty high. i lust for her, so it was a temptation too strong..
 

way2smart

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Twist of Cain said:
it's funny because i told her at the gym, when i asked her to clarify - i told her i'd never chase you. I don't chase girls etc..

she's a dirty high. i lust for her, so it was a temptation too strong..
You need to go NC for life with this girl. She is only using you for attention, to get her ego boost and probably wants you as a beta orbiter.
You need to STOP all contact, stop replying to her messages. She is done. Meet other girls, you will forget about her in no time.
 

Twist of Cain

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after 3 years brother it'll be tough..

interesting how you laid on the NC for life.. obviously i won't be initiating any communication..
 

way2smart

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Twist of Cain said:
after 3 years brother it'll be tough..

interesting how you laid on the NC for life.. obviously i won't be initiating any communication..
You can do it! There's literally 3 billion other girls in this world. She is not only "not the one" she is not even close to the best you will meet.
We men, were designed to impregnate as many women as we can. There's literally no evolutionary advantage to being "commited" to a girl who doesn't even reciprocate.
 

Between_The_Lines

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Twist of Cain said:
it's funny because i told her at the gym, when i asked her to clarify - i told her i'd never chase you. I don't chase girls etc..

she's a dirty high. i lust for her, so it was a temptation too strong..
In a way, taking a page right out of their playbook is quite useful - that is, your liberation will come when you truly, deep down inside, preferably by raising your value, bring yourself to believe that you can (and should) trade up, that you can do better.

My ex had the sweetest, tightest pvssy, a 10 (in my book) between the sheets - parting ways with that wasn't easy, but it had to be done. The bigger picture is what has to be taken into account here, that no girl ought to be able to bring you to your knees in any way, shape or form. You devalue her strongest bargaining chip, her sexuality, and you will find yourself a much happier, more serene individual.
 

Yorkex

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After months of NC , I will be seeing my ex on Sunday.
I really wanted to avoid it but it's a family funeral & i don't want to appear disrespectful.
I know she is going to be there with her new boyfriend and friends. I decided to invite 2 of my buddies to come along & hopefully my preparation will pay off.

I know it's going to sting seeing her with another man but I truly believe that what's done is done. I've been working on my self and feeling great , I just have to be confident and let nature run its course. It's going to sting seeing them but it's all part of life and another step in the right direction for me.

Don't plan on speaking to her but won't avoid it when it comes around .... Any other suggestions ?
 

Between_The_Lines

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Yorkex said:
Don't plan on speaking to her but won't avoid it when it comes around .... Any other suggestions ?
If you do speak to her, keep it polite and short. Your frame ought to be coming from a place where you have no feelings of ill will toward her, but zero interest in what's going on in her life. Life treats you better and better with each passing day, and seeing an ex (even with a new dude) cannot put a damper on that. Drill that into your head.
 

christoff522

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Been about 3 weeks nc. I work in a store so I see this girl all the time.

Anyway, Its been on and off, nothing has really happened between us, but we used to meet up and go out on the town, all-nighters etc, did that a couple of times.

Anyway whenever we would go out suddenly these exes would appear and she would spend all night fawning over them, also she went with a guy i work with, I wasn't 'man' enough (imo) to get anything from her.

So about 3 weeks ago, I decided to test her, I told her would should go see Jupiter ascending, and she was like "I don't know what this is", so i just said okay, no problem, deleted her from facebook.

Couple days later she texts me saying "you've deleted me from facebook again". I had before due to her fawning over exes when we went out. However this time I've stuck to it. She's been in my work, tried to talk to me and I've been polite etc, but this time I won't have it. I need to either a. get her out of my life, or b. reset the whole thing.

I've gone nc with other girls and it went well, I have them on a long rope and I keep my distance now, nc works because it emotionally distances you from people. Every day I get a little bit more manly, and Whereas a long time ago, like a year I never had the strength to do nc, now I can. Its all about learning who you are and realising that you actually are capable of being apart from someone even if they seem like 'the one'. If you wanna know who the 'one' is...its you!! you are the most important person in your life, not some ho.

peace.
 

christoff522

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Twist of Cain said:
either way, I asked her to explain herself, she said she believes if a guy truly wants a girl he should chase after her..

It obviously mind****ed me – I’m not sure how to proceed.
She's told you how to proceed...

If a girl says something like that you, it means "I think I'm a princess and deserve to be wooed, have things bought for me, have you torment and torture yourself just for the opportunity of kissing my hand"

Now, imagine that you're EVERYTHING SHE WANTS, who would be chasing who?

The trick is to basically do the opposite, if she wants you to chase her...run.

And the end result either way is this, you don't get the girl. If she isn't interested now, she won't be interested in a year if you keep hanging around her. Girls want:

a. mystery
b. excitement
c. to chase
d. to feel like you are the best they can get.

Do you present these four things? If not... work on it.
 

DonnyJuanny

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Day 1x

A little drunk currently. Don't miss her as much as I thought I would. It's an interesting time in my life. Part of me wants her. Then the my brain perks up and reminds me that she is a liar. Thank goodness. She lied to me and that is a sign of disrespect. I'm trying to think of all the negative qualities she has to help re-frame this breakup as a good thing for me because she didn't meet my standards. It's akin to forcing myself to take the rose-tinted glasses off. I cannot treat her with any bias. She has to be judged by the same standards as everyone else in my life. She has to pass my tests without me cutting her any slack. She didn't.

"But DonnyJuanny, she lets you **** her!"

No exceptions.
 

MillionBillionaire

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We have our 1 year coming up on the 14th of March... It has been about 60 days of no contact. I am still having a really hard time..

This week is going to suck.. thinking about us.. and with the weather getting nice...


Oh well got to suck it up and be a man
 

zorg198

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Its been oh i have no idea how much time its been but its almost 4 months or more. i am dating another girl but the ex keeps coming in my mind. i can't think of her face. she was beautiful. she comes to my dreams. i feel nothing , like i have sex with this girl and the ex comes in my face. also i don't feel anything... no excitement , like i have nothing inside. i don't know what to do. suggestions?
 

chaj3_11

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Just found out that my ex has split up with the guy she rebounded straight away too after me. Why do i now have the urge to speak too her? Wtf.
 

Yorkex

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chaj3_11 said:
Just found out that my ex has split up with the guy she rebounded straight away too after me. Why do i now have the urge to speak too her? Wtf.
DONT !

Man up , she left you for how ever long to go try out new d1ck and you are ready to jump in & make her feel wanted ?
Show some class , respect yourself !
If she reaches out to you & you " want" her back ...make her WORK for it. Meaning make her beg for months before breaking. Because I will tell you what's going to happen ahead if you message her first.

1) She is going to feel worthy again and things between you 2 will be great for max 2-3 months before she finds a new guy and dumb you again

2) She already has some one else waiting and you will be looking needy , low self esteem and beta champion.

3) You probably like the idea of her , you 2 will get together and you will feel the old times but later remember she left you to test drive new d1ck ..& it's going to be a big waste of time that is only slowing your growth.

There you have all you need to know , the choice is yours now. But remember , I have seen this scenario MULTIPLE times and I can put every penny I have on it that YOU trying to "save" her now is the worst card you will ever play in your lifetime.
 

Twist of Cain

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I appreciate the comments concerning my now NC.

She ended things, waited roughly 3 weeks, shot a feel good weak text my way - i took roughly a week to text back (I was on a military course)

she invited me to see her new place... went flawless, stayed the night, had breakfast.. she texted me the next day etc.. couldn't have asked for better.

2nd go around wasn't as tight, she was kinda cool.. maybe because i didn't meet her for drinks DT, instead i told her i'd meet her at her place (was with buddies)..

she asked where this was going, if i like to chase..or why don't i..

stayed the night..

3rd go around after 3 days no text i initiate another hang out.. no dice as she needs time to 'think about stuff'..

never get around to it..

randomly see her back in my town at our small gym when i was training.. i was rattled at her being there, after I told her to give me a shout about a week earlier - she never did..

we talk, i put her through a work out and i was only in for cardio.. i get close with her - get right behind her, flesh to flesh, on how to do a pushdown properly... i do this a few more times on different excercies.. no hesitation from her - she probably liked the attention as much if not more than how she felt about me kino'ing her..

i lose a bit of frame when her best guy friend calls her mid workout... they were going to meet up later that night..

she says 'you know i think of calling you, texting you, but part of me holds back because i don't think you'll change (pretty sure that was the reason)..

we get a little heated as I'm in her frame a bit - i tell her i'll always put my career and passions ahead of her, and that i will not chase her.. at the end i told her that i was almost over you then you had to text me.. haha, she didn't like when i said that..

she then mentioned that she's in "talks with a guy" hence her coldness lately, i'm sure..

i was reactive.. butterflies when we were leaving...hate that feeling.. awful..

i walk her to her car, she thanks me - pause.. she's in the drivers seat, i go down - look in her eyes, say "i'll never get tired looking at you" pause, and kiss her. her lips weren't as receptive as mine..

i made a stoooopid comment after that (like wtf was that kiss lol) but not enough for her to say "text me later"

left it at that - not sure if she was a lil emotional..

4 days later i text her:

me: hey doll in town for a week on course.
tnight or thurs after 9 i should be available for trouble

(5 hrs later) her: Hey! I’m busy tonight and
Thursday I close. In the process of getting
another job at a restaurant

..while i was waiting for her reply – i picked up a girl at a corner store – we made plans for that evening..

3 hrs later I text back: thats fine babe found someone else 2 go with

her : (a-ok sign) awesome! Good for you

even though i didn't mean it at the time, i now feel the text i replied to her with came off as butthurt..

this is what rattles me - i may have nuclear'd the entire scene with her over that text - obviously she's hurt etc. over it. or, it was enough for her to drop before the 50% interest level - hence me having to go NC...I don't know how to gauge it..

her text before I replied seemed fairly decent, other than giving me a counter offer.. it was my bad to begin with - i should have asked her if she wanted to get together this week/ are you free this week.. not give her specific dates..

Week 1 of NC, down.

I want to reach out, badly. I feel in my gut i can plow her again, show her my charm, and fukk her mouth stupid.
 

way2smart

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Twist of Cain said:
obviously she's hurt etc. over it.
She is not hurt man! She just genuinely doesn't give a fvck. She dropped you and then she needed some ego boost, which you gave to her right away by kissing her and saying that creepy line. Now she only sees you as a puppy who will do whatever she wants you to do.

You are doing great with NC. Like I said before, you should forget about her forever. The sooner you realize this the better. Why would you waste your time and emotions on some girl who doesn't give a fvck about you. Do you enjoy being tortured or something? Don't initiate and don't reply to her texts. In fact just block her number and delete her from all social media.
 

mikey2012

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way2smart said:
She is not hurt man! She just genuinely doesn't give a fvck. She dropped you and then she needed some ego boost, which you gave to her right away by kissing her and saying that creepy line. Now she only sees you as a puppy who will do whatever she wants you to do.

You are doing great with NC. Like I said before, you should forget about her forever. The sooner you realize this the better. Why would you waste your time and emotions on some girl who doesn't give a fvck about you. Do you enjoy being tortured or something? Don't initiate and don't reply to her texts. In fact just block her number and delete her from all social media.
Never try to keep someone who don't wanna keep you

She ain't hurt she relieved to get rid of you
 

Twist of Cain

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"creepy line.."

ok, now you sound like a shaming butthurt 22 yr old. like my ex.

wtf was creepy about it. sure, it was a ****ty line - i was rattled.

it wasn't "creepy". that fukin word is used way too liberally around here.
 
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