The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[someshwar]

Day-1 of no.contact programme

Followed ur advice admin. I was way too devastated after she broke up wid me and got herself a new bf. Bt i still kept contact wd her. But it really pains lyk hell. So im following ur advice in hope to get healed

 

[Dtsm3]

Followed ur advice admin. I was way too devastated after she broke up wid me and got herself a new bf. Bt i still kept contact wd her. But it really pains lyk hell. So im following ur advice in hope to get healed

Welcome brother! You are on the right path now!

 

[Cerwin Vega]

This letter goes to my desk drawer as I know that the person who should receive it has such a tiny brain they would just rationalize everything written and make up stupid excuses because they can't handle the truth.

Dear ex,

Just wanted to sit you down and tell you how much of a sh!tty person you are.

Remember that night when we sat down to watch a movie at my place? You said you were hungry so I cooked us a delicious dinner, then we had some stupid argument about something and you stopped talking to me.
I didn't ignore you on purpose. I was just really fed up with all your **** so I didn't bother to try and make you talk.
Once I heard the beeper telling me the food is done, I grabbed two plates and brought you one.

You said "I don't want it" and put it away. What the ****? are you trying to make me feel bad by not eating? Whatever. I'll enjoy my meal and watch the interesting movie.
I know you made all these sighs so I'd notice you but I'm not buying into it. You really lost my respect there girl.

Suddenly, you stood up and got dressed. Leaving so early? Yeah, I guess our 20 minute date is over huh? You haven't said a word and just left.

Well let me tell you something, I know you were just waiting to go home and talk to your sweet prince. No sane person would argue over stupid things and then behave like a fvcking *****. Why did you come? You didn't want to make me feel bad? You felt you owe me something?
Fvck you! You're nothing, zero! void! You sucked everything that is good out of me and then threw me away like garbage. You're the worst person I have ever met, you lied to me for so long - you know how they say, Karma is a *****? Well I can't wait for it to take a deep juicy bite of your ass you fvcking slvt.
I hate you so much. I really hope you go after your fat mom's genes you pathetic *****. Enjoy yourself as much as you can, I know you like all those freaks and creeps staring at you drooling, I know you get a kick out of it you sick piece of sh!t, "oh wow all these men are looking at me while I train" **** you, they are disgusted of how you're whoring yourself out. They don't like you, they have zero respect for you, and that's more than I have for you.

Day 51

 

[Dtsm3]

day 30

Can't believe I'm half way through already.

So how do I feel? Well in the last 30 days I've been really enjoying life a lot! I have realised that what people say "you do not need anyone to make you happy" is completely true. You do not!! When you have someone in your life it will be because you want them not because you need them.

The ex that the 30 days refers to, I still miss her, miss her personality being around, and I think I always always will, for the rest of my life. But she is become a faint memory. And another 30 days and I suspect there will be nothing left.

I still have a feeling that I will run into her again someday, but I suspect it won't be for a very long time. And by then I will be so past this point of my life that she will mean nothing to me.

I am also makin huge steps forward in the rest of my life, sorting my house out which will lead onto the final goodbye with the long term ex. And NC with her.

Anyways. Here is to the next 30 days, and building a whole new life....... For me!

 

[someshwar]

Day-2 of no contact programme
Well Today my x-gf did call me once nd i dint pick it up nd neithr did i called hr back.. She also did txt me in whatsapp Bt i told her im gonna stay away from u.
Yeaa well i did miss her a lot her voice nd everything. Bf i hv to gotta stay strong nd i will...

 

[finickywake]

Day 1

I did the breaking up two days ago, however I still feel this NC challenge will be helpful. She texted and called me yesterday, to which I did not respond, though I sent a one line e-mail stating our relationship was over and I'd be moving on.

We were together for a long time on & off (5 years) and steady for a long time as well. I saw other people throughout our relationship off's, but this last time we got back together I thought would be indefinite. She was BPD towards the beginning of the relationship, hence the off & on, and displayed every symptom in the book. Though once I improved myself, quit drinking and doing drugs, her outbursts & self-harm & tantrums stopped. The subtle emotional disturbances never ceased, now that I think about it. Our history is complicated, and I don't want to deal with it anymore. It's time I move on to better things, despite how I feel emotionally, rationally I know it's best.

I know the negative emotions will subside with time. This is my first post to this forum. Good day.

 

[Darrenez]

Hi guys,

I'm on day 65 !! and haven't heard anything from her. I thought I would have to be honest but oh well... I haven't been tempted to break NO CONTACT although a little over a month , I was...so I'm proud of myself for keeping true.

I've been busy with weight-training 5 days a week and started Pilates a month ago so haven't thought of her too much,although when I do obviously I miss her...Just gotta keep strong!

 

[petitefri]

so am on day 18 of the NC. would have been day 36 only i broke it with an email.well, been busy, he pops up in my mind once in a while and some times certain things remind me of him.
never replied to his email though and he hasn't posted my shoes so i guess he threw them away. i some times feel sick thinking he might have another.
more interesting is the fact that another ex of mine who has stayed friends with me for the past 4 years of our break up wants to get back with me.... nope!

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

Day 57:

I feel nothing but anger, hatred and contempt when I think about my ex now. I try not to thing about her because I don't like feeling these negative feelings, but at least I don't feel sad anymore. I don't regret leaving her at all anymore. What I did was the right thing. If anything I wish I did it sooner.

I do regret that I didn't put that b*tch in her place before I left her. I kinda just disappeared after she gave me the whole "I need space, I need a break from our relationship" speech. I wish I told her what a dumb c*nt she is before I went NC, but I didn't. Oh well, nothing I can change about that now. I guess it's for the better.

I hope my hatred will soon take place for indifference. That's when I'll know I'm truly over her.

PS: I had sex with my first ex today (not the one I'm NC with!). After I deposited my load on her face she told me she had to hurry and clean herself up and leave because her boyfriend was waiting for her. I laughed for a good 5 minutes straight. Man these chicks are f*cked up, but for the first time in life I'm loving it.

 

[finickywake]

Day 2 or 3

Saw that she sent me an e-mail. Did not open it. Will not open it. Came here instead!

Made an OKCupid profile. Have been successful on there before. Gonna give it a try again.

 

[Noyou]

Day 151

Went on an engineering trip for a whole week. Within the week:

1. Made a name for myself to people in the high ups
2. Enjoyed the freedom to go tour the sights
3. I had 30-40 year old women hit on me at bars and at the beach. Welcomed 2 propositions. Was amazing. I was safe too, but it....was....amazing!
4. Lived it large and toured 4 beaches in the area.
5. Final 2 days, met a woman at the meeting that just came back from business. We started to talk and she is AMAZING. Good looking, same likes, beliefs, wants, needs, etc. Any other time I'd want to house "renovation" with our bodies.....but I didn't have the urge to do such. Instead we went out on the town and we hit it off, and eventually kisses at the end of the night and enjoyed each others company at the suite I was staying. We are keeping in touch. I got her a little momento before I left and I was sad that I only had 2 days with this amazing woman.

Now I'm back in town, she's still texting and calling me and I'm getting ready to better my company with my new found knowledge.

Who is this ex of mine again and why was I with her?

 

[Dtsm3]

Went on an engineering trip for a whole week. Within the week:

1. Made a name for myself to people in the high ups
2. Enjoyed the freedom to go tour the sights
3. I had 30-40 year old women hit on me at bars and at the beach. Welcomed 2 propositions. Was amazing. I was safe too, but it....was....amazing!
4. Lived it large and toured 4 beaches in the area.
5. Final 2 days, met a woman at the meeting that just came back from business. We started to talk and she is AMAZING. Good looking, same likes, beliefs, wants, needs, etc. Any other time I'd want to house "renovation" with our bodies.....but I didn't have the urge to do such. Instead we went out on the town and we hit it off, and eventually kisses at the end of the night and enjoyed each others company at the suite I was staying. We are keeping in touch. I got her a little momento before I left and I was sad that I only had 2 days with this amazing woman.

Now I'm back in town, she's still texting and calling me and I'm getting ready to better my company with my new found knowledge.

Who is this ex of mine again and why was I with her?

The ex was this pathetic waste of space who "thought" she could do better then you??? Clearly she is completely insane, and your enjoying life demonstrates how non of us need some egotistical women in our lives!

Well done brother! Live the Dream!

 

[Jariel]

Just a quick post from me. I guess most of you posting here today don't know me, but I was a regular poster in this thread from September last year when my ex and I broke up. It was one of the darkest times in my life and if it wasn't for the good people here, the support and the people who could relate to what I was going through, I would hate to think what I would've done.

But I'm here many months later just to tell you it does get better. I would be lying if I said I stopped thinking of my ex as I still think of her a lot and I still miss her, but life has moved on and it has turned out to be a positive lesson for me.

What I didn't understand at the time was that I NEEDED the break up to happen in order to learn, grow and toughen up. I am not the same person I was when we broke up. I am in better physical shape, I am wiser, more confident, more experienced and a lot more attractive to women.

Right now, I'm dating a 6 foot glamour model...and former Playboy pin up and she's fvcking obsessed with me! I'm not lying or exaggerating. She takes photos of us together and shares them with her friends and posts them to Facebook, she wants to see me every day and does anything I want. The sex is unbelievable and we're doing things I've never done before!

The crazy thing about all this is that most of you are seeking ways to get back with your ex, convince her you're different and it can work, but you're at your least attractive and most downtrodden state you've ever been in right now. If you ever hope to get back to the man she fell for, or better, you need to take a long time out and move forward.

If I'd seen my ex within 6 months of us breaking up, she would've seen a desperate man trying to cover up his pain and neediness with techniques and acting. But if she saw me today, she would see a man who is bold and confident, upbeat and in control, and I'm pretty damn sure she'd like what she saw.

Trust me guys (and girls). You need to be in this for the long haul. Counting down the weeks until you can make contact is futile. You need to become a new person and truly learn from your experience.

One day you will realise that all this pain you are going through is necessary. Because without the pain, this lesson would not have impacted you enough to change.

 

[tripod23]

Just a quick post from me. I guess most of you posting here today don't know me, but I was a regular poster in this thread from September last year when my ex and I broke up. It was one of the darkest times in my life and if it wasn't for the good people here, the support and the people who could relate to what I was going through, I would hate to think what I would've done.

But I'm here many months later just to tell you it does get better. I would be lying if I said I stopped thinking of my ex as I still think of her a lot and I still miss her, but life has moved on and it has turned out to be a positive lesson for me.

What I didn't understand at the time was that I NEEDED the break up to happen in order to learn, grow and toughen up. I am not the same person I was when we broke up. I am in better physical shape, I am wiser, more confident, more experienced and a lot more attractive to women.

Right now, I'm dating a 6 foot glamour model...and former Playboy pin up and she's fvcking obsessed with me! I'm not lying or exaggerating. She takes photos of us together and shares them with her friends and posts them to Facebook, she wants to see me every day and does anything I want. The sex is unbelievable and we're doing things I've never done before!

The crazy thing about all this is that most of you are seeking ways to get back with your ex, convince her you're different and it can work, but you're at your least attractive and most downtrodden state you've ever been in right now. If you ever hope to get back to the man she fell for, or better, you need to take a long time out and move forward.

If I'd seen my ex within 6 months of us breaking up, she would've seen a desperate man trying to cover up his pain and neediness with techniques and acting. But if she saw me today, she would see a man who is bold and confident, upbeat and in control, and I'm pretty damn sure she'd like what she saw.

Trust me guys (and girls). You need to be in this for the long haul. Counting down the weeks until you can make contact is futile. You need to become a new person and truly learn from your experience.

One day you will realise that all this pain you are going through is necessary. Because without the pain, this lesson would not have impacted you enough to change.

totally agree with you jariel.......im glad your doing well my friend , i can remember when you were posting on here , i could tell you was in a lot of pain brother........well done mate im made up for ya....

 

[finickywake]

Day 4 NC

Went into town to buy new clothes & saw her car. Fortunately didn't run into her in person. Don't like these feels.

 

[Noyou]

Day 4 NC

Went into town to buy new clothes & saw her car. Fortunately didn't run into her in person. Don't like these feels.

I wouldn't either. Stay away from this place if she frequents it

 

[rawson-1992]

Tried the no contact thing for a whole day but it's so difficult.

How do you get over a girl who you've fallen for who is now dating your best friend?! It's unbearable.

 

[J4m1e]

I'm really suffering with the NC too.

I've broken it a number of times because I keep hitting set-backs. She's dating someone new and although she's told me it isn't anything serious I can't help but check her FB and Instagram and there's a couple of pictures of them together. It hurts. She told me that she is finding it hard to be apart too but that she doesn't have the courage to try again with me. She's hurting and I know I need to give her time to miss me more to realise what she really wants.

Today is my 2nd day of no contact.
I think about her constantly and in some sick way I don't want to stop.

I know it will get easier but that don't help the present.

 

[Dtsm3]

I'm really suffering with the NC too.

I've broken it a number of times because I keep hitting set-backs. She's dating someone new and although she's told me it isn't anything serious I can't help but check her FB and Instagram and there's a couple of pictures of them together. It hurts. She told me that she is finding it hard to be apart too but that she doesn't have the courage to try again with me. She's hurting and I know I need to give her time to miss me more to realise what she really wants.

Today is my 2nd day of no contact.
I think about her constantly and in some sick way I don't want to stop.

I know it will get easier but that don't help the present.

My good man, let me ask you some questions? It may help you to gain some perspective.


If you truly love and care about someone, would you run off with someone else?

If you truly care about someone and want to be with them, would you be with them?

If you love and care about someone would you then go around taking pictures of yourself with someone else?


Knowing that you are a good man, we both know how you would act. So how is she acting? Is presenting herself as someone that cares about you?

In a relationship people can say what ever they want, they can tell you they like you and love you and want to spend their life with you. All that is a load of rubbish, it is words and words on their own mean nothing, it is how someone acts that tells the truth.

My ex has not contacted me since I intiated no contact, our last contact was me asking if she wanted to go for a drink, she never replied. This speaks volumes about how she feels. She does not care enough about me to contact me! So why should I chase her when she does not care??

So how has shes acted towards you? Has she demonstrated that she cares? I think we both know the answer!

Your brothers on here care more about you I suspect!

 

[J4m1e]

I appreciate your thoughts Dtsm3 but I have hurt this girl and I think she needs time away to gather her thoughts. This guy she is with is a rebound to diminish the feeling of her loneliness. I know that she cares but she is also hurting from the way I treated her.

I think she needs to clarify how she feels being with someone else before realising it's not the same and coming back to me.

It's just painful for me to go through this.
Although I put her through something quite similar. Hopefully this episode means we can start with a mutual understanding of what I feels like to lose the other.

I know I need to go NC now and I know that she will contact me. Whether we can sort out the issues and make a new relationship is only a hope though.