The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Cheeks]

Just cut all the flow of information. What does it help you to know how happy/sad she is?

Yeah, I'm not looking at it anymore. It was just hard to take that step, kind of like not being able to turn away from a train wreck.

I can tell she's happy without me because she literally updates her feed with things like "I'm so happy!" and "I LOVE BEING HAPPY" lol.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Yeah, I'm not looking at it anymore. It was just hard to take that step, kind of like not being able to turn away from a train wreck.

I can tell she's happy without me because she literally updates her feed with things like "I'm so happy!" and "I LOVE BEING HAPPY" lol.

I feel your bitterness brother.


If it makes you feel any better, she isn't happy. She's trying to comvince herself and everone around her that she's happy, all of her orbiters and so called female friends who secretly hate her and wish to see her suffer "like" her stupid statuses.

 

[Noyou]

I feel your bitterness brother.


If it makes you feel any better, she isn't happy. She's trying to comvince herself and everone around her that she's happy, all of her orbiters and so called female friends who secretly hate her and wish to see her suffer "like" her stupid statuses.

^this

 

[Induced Drag]

Cheeks, that's called overcompensating. She wants to be happy but isn't.

 

[Shaka]

Even if you see her unhappy on social media, what now ? she is miserable without you, and that's not getting you anywhere.
Find comfort within yourself and don't look at social media !

Stay strong and best of lucks

 

[Lion1985]

Day 53 of No Contact, 60 Days post Break Up

So I Idiot checked the FB Profile of my Ex and experienced that my EX replaced me already ~ 2 weeks after Break Up.

Well, this not really suprised me, i know her, she moves from D1ck to D1ck very fast, thats just her....

I had to know whats going on in her life, maybe to disengage emotionally, I needed the certainty.

First I had a feeling of Pain and helplessness, because she is already thinking about MARRIAGE/CHILDREN.... with him.

-> WTF ?!?!? SHE KNOWS HIM 3-4 WEEKS AND SUCH PLANS? (SHE MEET THIS GUY ONLINE -> Tinder)

But my ex also had this future plans with me, also she talked about MARRIAGE/CHILDRE after i know her ~2-3 weeks, very strange.

Well we will see how the relationship will run with him

We dated for 3 months

 

[Colette]

Day 53 of No Contact, 60 Days post Break Up

So I Idiot checked the FB Profile of my Ex and experienced that my EX replaced me already ~ 2 weeks after Break Up.

Well, this not really suprised me, i know her, she moves from D1ck to D1ck very fast, thats just her....

I had to know whats going on in her life, maybe to disengage emotionally, I needed the certainty.

First I had a feeling of Pain and helplessness, because she is already thinking about MARRIAGE/CHILDREN.... with him.

-> WTF ?!?!? SHE KNOWS HIM 3-4 WEEKS AND SUCH PLANS? (SHE MEET THIS GUY ONLINE -> Tinder)

But my ex also had this future plans with me, also she talked about MARRIAGE/CHILDRE after i know her ~2-3 weeks, very strange.

Well we will see how the relationship will run with him


dated for 3 months

your ex only wants a d!ck to make her pregnant and also have a ``status`` of husband. so it really doesn't matter if that d!ck is you or someone else. Run as fast as you can.

 

[Lion1985]

your ex only wants a d!ck to make her pregnant and also have a ``status`` of husband. so it really doesn't matter if that d!ck is you or some else. Run as fast as you can.

Well, no need to run away, shes already gone...

 

[Noyou]

Well, no need to run away, shes already gone...

"They always come back"

But I think when she comes back, she'll prob have a kid by this guy and want to get back with you because you cared for her when no one else gives a damn about her.

I'd say get a head start on the running away.

 

[Lion1985]

Yeah so I realised that she decreased me in Facebook from "Friends" to "Acquaintances" -> "They always come back" , well with that situation hard to believe :/

I wasnt logged in the last ~ 50 days.

I know not to overanalize woman, but I want to know why she did this.

Maybe because the break up was "dramalike"? I cried and bagged...

Maybe shes concerned about my emotions and dont want that I can see all her news?

Or shes dont want that i stalk her profile?

Why seh just dont deleted or just blocked me?

Should I just deactivate my FB account for the next weeks/months? Is this psycologically the best way? (I dont want to think her I dissapeared because she has now a new guy)

I dont want to delete/bloock her, in the near future she should see the best version of me (Muscles, Tatoos, girls....)

I also wasnt online in whatsapp since 2 months, today first day normal using it again

I appreciate all tips, thanks guys!

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Deactivate your facebook and block her on WhatsApp. She most likely deleted your number so she won't have to see your picture ever again.

 

[Lion1985]

Deactivate your facebook and block her on WhatsApp. She most likely deleted your number so she won't have to see your picture ever again.

Nah, she didnt blocked me on Whatsapp, im sure she has still my number.
I just ignore her, no need to block i think.
There is also my stuff in her place and I have some stuff here with me, no big deal, but I think she will ask in future about them.
Facebook can be shut down, dont need this sh1t.

 

[Noyou]

Yeah so I realised that she decreased me in Facebook from "Friends" to "Acquaintances" -> "They always come back" , well with that situation hard to believe :/

I wasnt logged in the last ~ 50 days.

I know not to overanalize woman, but I want to know why she did this.

Maybe because the break up was "dramalike"? I cried and bagged...

Maybe shes concerned about my emotions and dont want that I can see all her news?

Or shes dont want that i stalk her profile?

Why seh just dont deleted or just blocked me?

Should I just deactivate my FB account for the next weeks/months? Is this psycologically the best way? (I dont want to think her I dissapeared because she has now a new guy)

I dont want to delete/bloock her, in the near future she should see the best version of me (Muscles, Tatoos, girls....)

I also wasnt online in whatsapp since 2 months, today first day normal using it again

I appreciate all tips, thanks guys!

From a person who has gone through this, you need to have the mindset that it doesn't matter what she thinks about you anymore. I know you want her, that is apparent, but she handled this bad and didn't talk to you about this or other things, thus leaving you a wreck. You must understand that THIS IS THE WAY SHE HANDLES THINGS AND SHE CANNOT HELP HERSELF. it's a survival mechanism that she knows and probably the only one.

Don't worry about what she has done. Or what she blocked or where she put you on whatever BS ranking Facebook system or what guy she's with. If she is with a guy, she was with him while you were with her. Let her be and better yourself for you. She knows where to find you and if she wants you, she'll do anything to come back to you. Do not accept anything less, and don't shortchange yourself.

I know you are hurting but

She knows she's hurting you, why be with someone who will cause you that pain?

You deserve better. You'll see what I mean within time. Be strong for you and don't give in to temptation. You will grow stronger from this. We all did here

 

[beatjunkie]

DAY 7 but should be longer if I didn't break NC

No contact from her since her last text. Haven't seen her around the office so that a relief. Actually, at the same time this make me curious? Where is she? How is she? and so forth. Not seeing her around helps but now my hamster is spinning, albeit the hamster has had it. I'm doing well. Getting better slowly. Today is hard so far so I felt like venting in this post. Can't believe she got engaged and is set to be married. We used to talk daily and laugh, now I have no one. Someone who I trusted very much and considered a friend is now nothing. When we first started dating I was cold to her because I did not want to get hurt again. But I opened up and all this happens. Geez, life is interesting.

Tune of the day; Purple Rain by Prince

 

[Dtsm3]

Day 26

My house is finally getting sorted, which means the day when I finally say goodbye to the long term ex is fast approaching. Over 16 years of friendship will be ended. It will be an emotional goodbye, but it will also be indefinate for me. There will be no friendship, but I truly hope she is happy in the future.

As for the recent short term ex (which is the 26 days of NC), I was asked by a mutual friend if he thinks we will ever be friends in the future. I have thought about this, and being honest with myself I had to reply no. When we ended I lost too much respect for her, and I think even if a year or two went by and I did run into her, knowing myself and the impression she has left me with I dont think id ever forget that. So my NC with her will also be indefinate. But I do wish her the best for the future.

What I've realised over the last week is two things, you need to be truly honest with yourself. You are not perfect just like your ex is not perfect, but by being honest with yourself and true to who you are you have a much better chance at being happy. And also I have realised the benefit in letting go. Its not easy, and days go by when you think of the past and it hurts, but when you start to let go, you start to look forward.

Brothers, you are all good people with alot to offer the world, never ever forget that, and never accept people in your life who cannot accept you. Do not fight to have people in your life on their terms, Have people in your life on your terms only - and most importantly of all, if someone like an ex reappears in your life, it must MUST be on your terms, you must not alter yourself just to have them in your life.

 

[arjunck]

Starting no contact again..

So i successfully completed two weeks of no contact with my two year ltr when she contacted and disrupted the routine.. Contacted I say bombarded me and my friends with texts and calls.. She made the effort to reach out, I took her out and we kind of made up.. About two weeks later, she tells me that one of her friends is interested in her and she got high with him.. I did not freak.. I thought I was being cool.. Another couple of days later, she goes to this music festival and gets high with her friends.. I called her a day later which was yesterday and she says I do not care as to what she does and where she goes.. This after she has clearly told me that she would be getting high with her friends.. I said I do care and that she cannot go around getting high with guys that like her.. And then she says that I am two years too late.. I should have kept her on a leash she says and that she is not going to listen to me now.. Then she goes on to say that her friends have a bigger hold on her that I do and that people will walk all over me if I was "liberal" the way I am.. I thought I was giving her space when she needed me out of her life.. I am out of her life for good now.. I hope.. This has taken a toll on my professional life.. God I hate her so much.. Day one of N fukcing C all over again..

 

[Oregano]

I'm ready to start NC. Unfortunately, it took me about 2 months of begging, crying and trying to get her back before I started reading into this. Total ***** chump **** I was doing.

I have been doing a lot of self improvement stuff along the way. I've gone from about 90 kg to 82 kg, I go out and meet more people and new friends, I stopped drinking too much (2-3 glasses when I go out a night is enough, no beer, no coke/pepsi) and now realize I don't need to get drunk to dance because I have a lot more self-confidence (I find myself singing in public way to much), I eat a lot better (only had one tiny, tiny chocolate cake at this fancy restaurant that charged way too much for it - no other junk food), and I plan to buy a motorcycle and travel around on it very soon. Mind you all of these decisions and changes were made in chump mode while I was hoping it would bring her back. It obviously won't, not yet, at least. Maybe never.

When I would talk to her, she would say she misses me and still has feelings, but she's not ready to be with anyone in a serious relationship (long story short - broke up with me because she just wants to party, be with friends, travel (she's a first year air stewardess - prioritized friends and partying over seeing me, which I never really had a problem with to begin with because I was the same way at her age (her 23 fresh out of uni, me 26) . Anywho...)

The last thing I said to her, she never replied. It was really chumpy and stupid to ask (something like do you still think about me). I'm wondering, should I just continue to NC her or should I tell her that I'm going to be away for a while, say sorry for the AFC crap, then disappear? It's been two days since I sent that message and initiated NC. I don't want her to reply to that, but I don't want the last thing I said to be the chumpiest piece of garbage I've ever written.

Do I want to let her still see I'm having fun on Instagram or should I stop posting there and let my life be a total mystery in the black. I know she's gotten a bit jealous and thought I was over her when I started posting pics with some of my other girl friends (just friends, nothing romantic and don't want anything), but an air of mystery over not posting seems like it might make her worried about how I'm doing, as well (I tested this by setting my Line picture to be a total black image with no description. She asked whats wrong with a face. Of course, I replied like a chump and said I'm empty without you. lol). If she can't see pics of me and my improvements, that may be better than her seeing that I'm doing better for myself and moving on. She is super independent and I almost feel like if she saw me happily dating another girl, she'd be more relieved or happy for me rather than upset or anxious. I feel part of the reason she broke up with me is because I was a "good" (but boring) boy and she was the bad girlfriend that didn't care about her boyfriend enough.

Any thoughts on if I should restart NC but with 100% less chump as a final message, or just leave it with what its at? And should I continue to post on IG/FB/wherever where she can see it, or be mysterious and just fall off the planet? I don't really care to post there for myself because I don't give a **** about it and since I had such a long term relationship (that I honestly thought was headed towards marriage) my social life went to poo because all I had and cared about was her (on top of the fact that I work from home at odd hours so I never really had a way to meet new people and friends once all my uni friends started working and moving to other areas)

Sorry for the walls of text, but thank you for any honest advice in advance.

Edit: I ended up continuing to post on my Instagram. I put up a silly video of me walking into a clubbing district making some stupid comments. The video got two comments, one from a random, and one from her asking me "If I was already drunk?" (she never liked me getting drunk, so I'm picking up that that is a hint she still has some feelings pent up somewhere - no I was not drunk, hadn't even had a glass yet). Anyways, I ended up replying to the randoms comment and ignoring the exes.

Edit again: She ended up deleting that comment.

 

[Cheeks]

deleted

 

[Cheeks]

deleted

 

[J4m1e]

A new beginning

Hi guys,

First day of my no contact period is today and I'm looking for some advice.

Complicated situation as most relationships are. I dated this girl a couple of years back but it wasn't for me and I left her pretty sharply. Unknown to me but it hit her hard and she suffered with depression over the break and seeing my subsequent behaviour with other girls over Facebook etc.

She takes another relationship as a rebound moves in with him and it eventually falls apart at her will but she suffers over this also.

We reconnected about a year ago through music. We played together in a ska band. We have ended up living round the corner to each other and became really close that she tried to hide her previous hurt and make another relationship.

Being the fool I am I never fed her the compliments and security she needed, instead playing jack the lad and making comments that she perceived as cruel. She has now chosen to end our relationship because she does not trust how I feel about her. I know she cares for me and finds me attractive it's purely a protection issue.

Consequently I have realised how much she means to me. I am unreservedly in love.

She is already dating someone else. Much older (which I think she connects to a father figure, as her father is very ill with dementia and is lost to her in kind). She has stayed at his, him at hers.

I've been through the pleading to no avail. She is stubborn.

I drop her a letter stating "as tragic as it is for my heart you will pleased to hear that I have accepted that our old relationship is over. We both needs some time apart to understand our hearts and get our heads straight. I hope your barbering course goes well xxx". Get a text that night saying "I got your note. I understand". Be strong! I don't respond.

My first day of no contact and she just sends me another message. "I just want to check - you're not leaving town are you? Xx"

I'm not sure that I should ignore it because it's rude. Thinking of responding "I need to do what's right for me now".

Advice please guys. I need to do this right as I want her back in my life because I know we can be good for each other if the trust issues can be worked out.

Thanks, J