The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[nemz]

Day 31

Man I miss that feeling of home. I miss that feeling of being TOTALLY comfortable with a person, knowing their family and being treated almost as a family member...
I start getting the feeling that I miss the way she made me feel a lot more than the amount that I miss her.
I mean, after a month of NC she doesn't even look that pretty and seducing in my mind anymore, she looks...normal.

Yeah that bit really sucks dude, but those feelings really do dissipate over time - they're still there, but don't have any control over your emotions. It's that all encompassing feeling of a family relationship you miss more, than the single person it revolved around I found personally.

I took a month out, worked on myself, went the gym, put extra effort in work and then started dating, with the intention of just having fun. Within a month worth of dates (sometimes two a night, sometimes only 3 a week) met someone who knocked my socks off.

Fast forward 4 months, couldn't be happier )

 

[nemz]

Whatever, it doesn't matter and I shouldn't dwell on this. I had no plans of getting back together with her anyway.

Well said dude, I've found temporary breaks are usually suggested as a kind way (in their eyes) to see how things go with someone else.

Good luck with the date and keep meeting women, sooner or later you'll meet someone who makes you think "wow" and you'll wonder what you even saw in the ex. When the ex finds out you're dating someone even better, it's the sweetest feeling

You're the catch, it's her loss - don't say it, prove it!

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Yeah that bit really sucks dude, but those feelings really do dissipate over time - they're still there, but don't have any control over your emotions. It's that all encompassing feeling of a family relationship you miss more, than the single person it revolved around I found personally.

I took a month out, worked on myself, went the gym, put extra effort in work and then started dating, with the intention of just having fun. Within a month worth of dates (sometimes two a night, sometimes only 3 a week) met someone who knocked my socks off.

Fast forward 4 months, couldn't be happier )

Yeah, I really should start dating soon. No point in being pissed off because she gets it a hell lot easier than I do!

 

[petitefri]

Day 14,
I had my Facebook deactivated after he broke up with me. I reactivated yesterday and changed my profile picture. Somehow I glanced on his FB page and he still had the picture we took together on out holidays on his FB. Two hours later , he unfriended me. It hurt a lot I cried.
But now I think of it and am like- that was expected. He blocked me off Skype aswell. Maybe he blocked my number on his phone. I won't know that cos since I him up on him, I haven't tried to reach him.
Ps: I still wonder what made him so unhappy he decided to break up with me. And all I can think of is that all my friends are boys and he has never been comfortable with that yet he won't accept that as a fact.
For a moment I thought of contacting his dad to know why he decide to break up but I think him deleting me is trying to giving signs he is still mad at me for something I don't know . I still think of him now and then but
Well boo, I sure noticed you after you deleted me. Happy?

 

[Colette]

Day 14,
I had my Facebook deactivated after he broke up with me. I reactivated yesterday and changed my profile picture. Somehow I glanced on his FB page and he still had the picture we took together on out holidays on his FB. Two hours later , he unfriended me. It hurt a lot I cried.
But now I think of it and am like- that was expected. He blocked me off Skype aswell. Maybe he blocked my number on his phone. I won't know that cos since I him up on him, I haven't tried to reach him.
Ps: I still wonder what made him so unhappy he decided to break up with me. And all I can think of is that all my friends are boys and he has never been comfortable with that yet he won't accept that as a fact.
For a moment I thought of contacting his dad to know why he decide to break up but I think him deleting me is trying to giving signs he is still mad at me for something I don't know . I still think of him now and then but
Well boo, I sure noticed you after you deleted me. Happy?

He is a coward for not explaining his behaviour and why he really is breaking up with you.
However, you have your answer , he blocked you , he is not contacting you . So it is clearly over. move on. As hard as it sounds but you have no other choice .
Don't sit and wait for him with the hope that he may change his mind .
fvck him.

 

[Induced Drag]

Well, I didn't send it. I'm really surprised I had such a strong reaction to that picture. I guess I wasn't as over her as I thought.

I have to believe the guy in the picture with her is one of her friend's fathers or maybe her uncle. The guy has to be in his late 50s and she's in her mid 30s. If it is her guy then she's proven to me that she's a huge loser and not worth my time.

 

[Uncharted]

Love this site, but need to do this just to get my first long relationship since joining here last year.

This thread will help. We just stopped talking because it seemed we both lost interest, and it's in MY best interest to just NC her and move on. We are in the same social circle so I will bump into her more than others.

This is day 8 and I saw her getting into her car at a shopping mall today. Was the first time I've seen her in person, so it was tougher.

Felt the need to say hi, but kept walking. Felt need to text but I deleted her number.

Feels good to vent here though.

 

[petitefri]

Day 15
Sorry guys but everyday comes with mixed feelings. I was out all night drinking yesterday. I didn't think of him all day and all night but once I got in this morning and had an hour sleep and still a little hung over, I felt the urge to contact him.
I went back to reading out last text. We spoke about how much we missed each other and about our day and all that.
But why then did he say he was unhappy when I rang him up?
I feel like the fact that my mate told him I was away on a weekend with my gay friend mad him angry and felt I was cheating in him to something.
I miss him so much but I have what's left of my pride to protect.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Well, I didn't send it. I'm really surprised I had such a strong reaction to that picture. I guess I wasn't as over her as I thought.

I have to believe the guy in the picture with her is one of her friend's fathers or maybe her uncle. The guy has to be in his late 50s and she's in her mid 30s. If it is her guy then she's proven to me that she's a huge loser and not worth my time.

Don't dwell on it brother...Why did you have to look at her facebook page anyway?

Sadly, it's so easy to check up on your ex these days and most of us fall for it.

ALL of us NC'ers have a doubt or a suspicion about our exes (did they leave me for that LOSER I saw her with? Is she dating the guy she "likes" his posts on FB?), stop feeding that god damn insecure monkey inside your head. He's the one who's making you feel bad, he's the one who's trying to sabotage your progress.
Stop looking for a "proof" she's with someone else. Just assume the worse scenario - she's ****ing 10 different strange guys bareback every week and that's it ! (for some reason it turns me on LOL!) You don't want to be with such a slvt, you worth way more than an immature girl who makes stupid decisions.

Look my man, last time me and the X broke up, she slept with someone else in less than a week after knowing him while still talking to me. I didn't know about it, but I had a very strong feeling in my guts. I kept pressing on her to tell me, thinking it will make me feel better. Well, guess what? Eventually she told me. I was devastated! I still am. Some things are better left unknown.

 

[Induced Drag]

Stop looking for a "proof" she's with someone else. Just assume the worse scenario - she's ****ing 10 different strange guys bareback every week and that's it ! (for some reason it turns me on LOL!)

:crackup: thanks for the laugh and advice.

It was a fluke how I saw her pic. I was using the search feature. It brings up a small thumbnail with possible name matches. She turned up in the search. I saw a different pic of her and (of course couldn't resist clicking on it) then felt the rush of adrenaline coursing through my veins lol. I was surprised I had such a strong reaction to it. Then went into a flat spin thinking the 60 year old was the guy she left me for lol. It is what it is. Whether I realize it or not yet I'm better off without her.

We're all going to make it.

 

[Uncharted]

Woke up kinda shty but in a way better mood now that I'm heading out with my boys. Not a single f will be given tonight.

 

[arjunck]

We went out on Friday.. We discussed all possible scenarios we could be together.. Rather I told her what the scenarios all of which she rejected.. I thought that was fair enough and that she did not want to be with me.. I told her that it is okay and I have accepted the break up and am ready to move on to which she says I want to be with you.. I am confused.. I told her to make her mind up and then call me if she wanted to be with me still or she could just not call and I would be okay with it.. She says she cannot be without talking to me.. In the three weeks of break up, I have had three girls express interest in me while I pine for this one who is not too sure.. I have begun the NC again after two weeks.. This time it is not as painful as it was at first..

 

[Uncharted]

We went out on Friday.. We discussed all possible scenarios we could be together.. Rather I told her what the scenarios all of which she rejected.. I thought that was fair enough and that she did not want to be with me.. I told her that it is okay and I have accepted the break up and am ready to move on to which she says I want to be with you.. I am confused.. I told her to make her mind up and then call me if she wanted to be with me still or she could just not call and I would be okay with it.. She says she cannot be without talking to me.. In the three weeks of break up, I have had three girls express interest in me while I pine for this one who is not too sure.. I have begun the NC again after two weeks.. This time it is not as painful as it was at first..

nothing like a new girl to get the old one off your mind. Go get them.

 

[Dtsm3]

So an update.

Day 14

I've not contacted the short term exs at all. No point and have no desire to.

I've had to see the long term ex (that I was with for 13 years). To organise selling our house, but that's been it.

I've been feeling ok, some good days, some real **** days. I have been a bit naughty and have been sleeping with a female friend ( just a friend ), we are both single and need the sex, but I've not interest in her, which she knows.

I've a second date today, so hopefully that will go well.

I do miss the most recent short term ex, miss her company. But she doesn't want to know me, so **** her! I know she's started dating someone, but I've been told he's a complete user. A mutual friend has told me. I'm not interested and don't care. Hope he treats her like ****.

 

[Noyou]

We went out on Friday.. We discussed all possible scenarios we could be together.. Rather I told her what the scenarios all of which she rejected.. I thought that was fair enough and that she did not want to be with me.. I told her that it is okay and I have accepted the break up and am ready to move on to which she says I want to be with you.. I am confused.. I told her to make her mind up and then call me if she wanted to be with me still or she could just not call and I would be okay with it.. She says she cannot be without talking to me.. In the three weeks of break up, I have had three girls express interest in me while I pine for this one who is not too sure.. I have begun the NC again after two weeks.. This time it is not as painful as it was at first..

Little insight because I got told the same, these words exactly, "I don't know if I want to date you but I do want you in my life" and acted all wishy washy when you brought up different scenarios

She wants you to talk to her while she goes out and finds someone else because
1. She feels guilty in what she is doing and it makes her feel less guilty because you are still talking to her after all this.
2. She has her, "cake and eating it as well"
3. She's trying to play the field
4. Telling her to "make up her mind" at this point will hold 0 weight because she has already made her "decision"

This meeting got nothing resolved, you feel better now but you'll realize what I mean later. She's still wishy washy about you, and there is a "reason" in her head that this reason is true. She didn't come around. More than likely she'll come around when you really do move on.

I'm sorry but that just makes me mad when she said "I can't be without talking to you"

She wanted out but yet she wants you to talk to her.
Well isn't that nice of her (sarcasm)

Red flag: she's always been a manipulator

 

[Hititstrong]

Day 1: Starting the challenge today!

 

[Darrenez]

Day 42

Man time has gone really fast

I have been keeping myself busy with weight lifting 5 days a week just to get back to being strong again, pilates (to help with muscle imbalances) and mountain biking. These 3 are things I was never doing before when I was with my ex so its kind of like a fresh start. I've also brought a new bed and have hidden away blurays and gifts she has brought me:rockon:

However saying this, I still do miss her and some days are worse than others, I guess 6 years can do this to you. I'm not going to break my NC however as it would be failing everything I've achieved so far. If she does in the future want to get into contact with me, she will. I do think things in my mind about contacting her but nothing good will come of it.

Nearly at the 60 day mark so I'm pretty proud of myself:wave:

 

[Uncharted]

To all the new guys you've chosen he right path.. To everyone else keep it going.

only day 10 for me but I know this works because it did for one of my exes in 2006 where I unknowingly did NC. Keep grinding.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Day 34
I actually had to look at my older post since I lost count.
Things look much clearer and better now! Started working part-time last Friday, time flies!

 

[Colette]

We went out on Friday.. We discussed all possible scenarios we could be together.. Rather I told her what the scenarios all of which she rejected.. I thought that was fair enough and that she did not want to be with me.. I told her that it is okay and I have accepted the break up and am ready to move on to which she says I want to be with you.. I am confused.. I told her to make her mind up and then call me if she wanted to be with me still or she could just not call and I would be okay with it.. She says she cannot be without talking to me.. In the three weeks of break up, I have had three girls express interest in me while I pine for this one who is not too sure.. I have begun the NC again after two weeks.. This time it is not as painful as it was at first..

She wants to have her cake and eat it too. She also loves the fact that you are still around and will take her back whenever she feels like it.
She tells you she doesn't want to get back with you but she wants to be with you? what kind of bullsh!t is that? She probably will never make up her mind and will play this back and forth game with you for as long as you let her. But question is how long you are willing to put up with this vicious cycle.