The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[HW1984]

Ari....

Tough way for it to end. But if she doesn't even care enough to tell you it's over then F* it. I wouldn't even want her back. LDR really is hard and adds stress. I've been in them twice. Once right after college when I moved away and this time which was only an hour and change away but with our busy schedules it was hard to find the time. There's a lot of women out there. Go have fun. Good luck.

 

[VenX]

If you are in your first month of NC, there will probably be days where you feel like you're completely over her, and then days where your inner demons get the best of you. On the days where you're sad, depressed, angry, and confused, you're probably sitting at home allowing your heart to argue with your mind.

Here are some things that can really help you get through the day without thinking about her, the break up, past memories, and any thoughts that hurt you.

(No particular order)

1. Call up a friend/friends to hang out (outdoor activities, coffee shop, bars, anything)
2. Spend time with family
3. Spend time with a pet
2. Start a new TV Series
3. Hit the gym
4. Go out for a jog
5. Hit a driving range (golfers)
6. Join a class to learn something new
7. Just get OUTSIDE
8. Go shopping/window shopping
9. Ride a bike
10. Take a vacation
11. Play a sport
12. Volunteer

The list could go on and on, but the main point is....DON'T STAY IN YOUR HOUSE ALONE DOING NOTHING.

 

[TheCleanPleb]

Got dumped today, I initially texted my ex because I wasn't certain why she dumped me but other then that, no contact. I'm hurting right now but because of this experience I will blossom as an individual.

 

[yonggg]

day 14
been reading this

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=207528

it made me doubt the way i went ghost immediately.
shouldve let it all out, what ive been wanting to say to her before going nc

 

[HW1984]

Yonggg....

Keep it up. You're doing good. I was doing the same thing. Finding any and everything to tell me to contact her even when 99% of everything out there says NC. Stay stong man. You are a 14 days, not a good feeling to see that go back to 1 and have to start all over.

 

[Backwardsman]

NC is the only way - Imagine if you text your ex and she didnt reply, it would drive you even more crazy, waiting by your phone, waiting for that reply - move forward, not back

 

[yonggg]

yes yes, stick to nc,
a female friend told me to start contat her after 30 days nc.

 

[Backwardsman]

yes yes, stick to nc,
a female friend told me to start contat her after 30 days nc.

No No - NC is forever, no need to contact her after 30 days, in fact you never need to contact her at all....

Your breakup happened for a reason - what happened happened, and couldn't have happened any other way. It was meant to be.....

 

[HW1984]

Exactly.... Do not contact her. If NC is broken let her be the one to do it. Which will happen for one of two reasons. 1. The guy she was seeing left and she feels lonely and thinks that you will comfort her. If you do she will use you and sh*t on you all over again. I had this happen to me years ago. 2. She really does want to reconcile at which point you get to make the decision if you even want to anymore..... Slight chance of that by then you will have moved on.

 

[VenX]

Think of it as a game. You want that number to be as high as possible. The higher the number, the easier it gets because you do not want to be back to Day 1. Think about all the days you were able to get through.

From the hundreds and thousands of posts I have read, it is always never worth it. Unless she is willing to make drastic changes, beg for you back, and you are at a stage where you are willing to give her a second chance, then she is gone.

Girls work on emotions. There is nothing we can do to get those feelings back. NC is the best chance. She cannot miss someone who is still there for her. Any contact will just push her further away. When you're thinking of contacting her, just remember. NC= Pull. Contact= Push.

It is best to just realize that she is gone forever. If she does come back, it is just a bonus. By then, you may not even want her back. There is someone out there who will love and care for you more, and you will love and care for her more.

Dwelling on the past doesn't help us take steps forward. Forgetting about it and becoming a better person does.

 

[ChrisW]

Day 31

Good days and bad days. Just when I'm doing good, thoughts of her consume my mind. It ****s up dates and me enjoying myself. Before her I took time after my previous relationship and became totally whole again and awesome with single life. I don't want to spend another 2 years getting whole again. FML

 

[durrr]

Day 2...

This hurts. And it is extremely hard. I'm almost caving in wanting to try and communicate. We talked on the phone Monday night and she told me she still wanted to go on dates but take things slow. And told me we should hang out Thursday. Then Thursday comes and she tells me she was sorry had 2 papers I just said okay and haven't contacted her since. She hadn't contacted me either. I've done a lot of great things for this girl and I know I made her happy. It's just a scary feeling she will forget me and all the good times we had. This will be the Third week I haven't seen her. I know I messed up 2 weeks ago. My trust issues got the best of me.

 

[asa_don]

Day 2...

This hurts. And it is extremely hard. I'm almost caving in wanting to try and communicate. We talked on the phone Monday night and she told me she still wanted to go on dates but take things slow. And told me we should hang out Thursday. Then Thursday comes and she tells me she was sorry had 2 papers I just said okay and haven't contacted her since. She hadn't contacted me either. I've done a lot of great things for this girl and I know I made her happy. It's just a scary feeling she will forget me and all the good times we had. This will be the Third week I haven't seen her. I know I messed up 2 weeks ago. My trust issues got the best of me.

don't beat yourself up over it, she had another guy in her car and was texting him. you had every right to be concerned. she will forget about you and you will forget about her. that requires you getting a new girl to forget about her. you can do it!

 

[durrr]

don't beat yourself up over it, she had another guy in her car and was texting him. you had every right to be concerned. she will forget about you and you will forget about her. that requires you getting a new girl to forget about her. you can do it!

Maybe you read it wrong. Another guy she works with drive her home from work a few times. And she must've gave him her number... One night she stayed over he texts her late at night and I asked her what's up? And she said "oh my friend from work showing me a pic of girl he's dating". And she's texting him I lost my cool and said look it's not cool you're in my bed texting another dude. Ever since that things been off mainly because of me and my trust issues.. It is tough I appreciate the support it tho.

 

[HW1984]

Day 5... since contact 13 overall. She texted me tonight. Just hi. I did not respond and know I should not anytime soon. Based on when I got the text can be certain she had been drinking. Any insight as to what this text was? Wht she texted?

 

[VenX]

Day 5... since contact 13 overall. She texted me tonight. Just hi. I did not respond and know I should not anytime soon. Based on when I got the text can be certain she had been drinking. Any insight as to what this text was? Wht she texted?

I would just ignore it. She just wants to see if you will say "hi" back. Don't give her that satisfaction of her knowing you are still there whenever she wants. Just ignore it. If she really wanted to say something important, it wouldn't just be a "hi".

If she truly misses you and cares, it will drive her nuts that you didn't reply and she will want your attention more.

 

[yonggg]

day 16,

i somehow still hope that she will text me first.

 

[Renegade357]

day 16,

i somehow still hope that she will text me first.

That never really goes away until you replace her. The only difference is after time you stop checking your phone every hour.

 

[bigdrov1x]

Question for the board. I went NC about 2 or 3 weeks ago. She texted me some chick crap which I did not respond to. It was one of those..can I get him to jump and respond texts..Anyways fast forward to today. There is some lingerie that was left at my house of hers. It has been there for a while. I live in STL and her in CHI. Is there any protocol for what to do with it? If I just mail it back in a plain envelope with nothing else, does that break NC? Or do I just trash the lingerie? I dont really care about this bish anymore. I just do not want to be accused of anything illegal by throwing her stuff out. Guys, this NC stuff really works by the way. These last few weeks, I have been meeting new bishes, and trust me, you will forget about the old hag, it just takes a little time. Why give anyone respect that did not respect you? That is the thought that was able to get me back on solid footing. Peace.

 

[yonggg]

yes true, was seeing another, made me forget about my ex but only for a while. 2 days and that crap feeling come again.

need closure.