The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Formerlyrossitheking]

Sorry, What does 'they get so made' mean?

Anyway had to break NC, her brother who has mental issue txt me so I had to txt her to let her know I calm him down and stuff, but kept it brief.

Might send her the gift for her bday, is like June or something, I will be over her by then, got it a while back and no one else is really suitable. No point wasting it.

She gets no gift. She gets nothing from you.

Do you really want to be taken for granted dude.

 

[Jariel]

6 months and I'm still not over her...

Time to come clean. It's been 6 months since I last saw my ex and I'm still thinking about her every day and missing her like crazy.

Last night I opened up my archived emails on Facebook and saw some of the mails we had sent to each other last year. It was incredible how much she loved me. She wrote about times when she'd look into my eyes and feel so in love it scared her, how she'd never felt such emotional intensity before and how I mean the world to her. She was saying how she goes to bed when I'm not there and she craves me, and cuddles upto my t-shirt because it's like there's a part of me with her.

They were such heartfelt and emotional emails and reading them again broke me down again. I ended up reflecting on how things ended between us and the retaliation and hard feelings that came afterwards. I know a lot of guys here feel like the victim of their break up, and I did too, but I realise I brought it on myself. I dumped her and tried to fvck with her head and it backfired. She called my bluff and I honestly can't blame her for not wanting to try again.

I keep convincing myself that I'm moving on. I've dated and kissed quite a lot of girls, and yet I can't even bring myself to have sex with anyone.

I went on another date tonight, all went well and we went back to her place. We were getting hot and heavy on the sofa and we were both horny and ready to fvck, and all I could think about was my ex and I just felt like I wanted to cry.

Here's the fvcked up part. I pulled away and we had a bit of a cuddle on the couch. She was holding onto me tightly, resting her head on my chest as we watched TV. It felt nice and I wrapped my arms around her...and for a moment I drifted off thinking it was my ex in my arms. Then she spoke and the voice didn't match, then it pulled me back to reality.

I feel like I'm doing everything right. I'm making such great progress in the gym, focusing on my work and rebuilding myself. I've got my confidence back, I've got my pick of many hot women and I'm maintaining no contact. I'm meditating and using hypnosis, and for a big part of the day I feel free from the pain, can put my ex out of my mind, but every so often it all comes flooding back and I'm finding it so difficult to move on or be with someone else.

I'm at the point now where I'm over the resentment and bitterness of the break up. In fact, I can put it into perspective and recognise we both played our part. I honestly hold no hard feelings towards her at this point and I maintain she is a genuinely good person. But I still miss her so much and that's the part that is holding me back.

 

[orbion2013]

i think about her night & day... but she was not a good woman... i have to erase her from my mind... forever! it's the only way

 

[orbion2013]

i still love her.. she was beautiful.. but..... so so so wrong for me!

 

[funkychunk19]

If no contact is the way getting yourself better and forgetting about your ex, is there a proper way of getting your ex back? Obviously circumstances of the break up play a huge part in a comeback. In my case ibwas blindsided, one day I love you....next day I dont love you anymore. I think she is scared and we went to fast. Im teying no contact to forget about her...if after the 60 days I am iver her...I may reach out tonsee how she is doing....not tonre kindle the relationship..but to let her know ive moved on. If she wants me back...I will be the one to decide.

 

[mikey2012]

6 months and I'm still not over her...

Time to come clean. It's been 6 months since I last saw my ex and I'm still thinking about her every day and missing her like crazy.

Last night I opened up my archived emails on Facebook and saw some of the mails we had sent to each other last year. It was incredible how much she loved me. She wrote about times when she'd look into my eyes and feel so in love it scared her, how she'd never felt such emotional intensity before and how I mean the world to her. She was saying how she goes to bed when I'm not there and she craves me, and cuddles upto my t-shirt because it's like there's a part of me with her.

They were such heartfelt and emotional emails and reading them again broke me down again. I ended up reflecting on how things ended between us and the retaliation and hard feelings that came afterwards. I know a lot of guys here feel like the victim of their break up, and I did too, but I realise I brought it on myself. I dumped her and tried to fvck with her head and it backfired. She called my bluff and I honestly can't blame her for not wanting to try again.

I keep convincing myself that I'm moving on. I've dated and kissed quite a lot of girls, and yet I can't even bring myself to have sex with anyone.

I went on another date tonight, all went well and we went back to her place. We were getting hot and heavy on the sofa and we were both horny and ready to fvck, and all I could think about was my ex and I just felt like I wanted to cry.

Here's the fvcked up part. I pulled away and we had a bit of a cuddle on the couch. She was holding onto me tightly, resting her head on my chest as we watched TV. It felt nice and I wrapped my arms around her...and for a moment I drifted off thinking it was my ex in my arms. Then she spoke and the voice didn't match, then it pulled me back to reality.

I feel like I'm doing everything right. I'm making such great progress in the gym, focusing on my work and rebuilding myself. I've got my confidence back, I've got my pick of many hot women and I'm maintaining no contact. I'm meditating and using hypnosis, and for a big part of the day I feel free from the pain, can put my ex out of my mind, but every so often it all comes flooding back and I'm finding it so difficult to move on or be with someone else.

I'm at the point now where I'm over the resentment and bitterness of the break up. In fact, I can put it into perspective and recognise we both played our part. I honestly hold no hard feelings towards her at this point and I maintain she is a genuinely good person. But I still miss her so much and that's the part that is holding me back.

This is what I am saying. Jariels ex was good and didn't cheat on him. Maybe he took too much advice from this board and dumped her when she disrespected him coz she was going through a tough time. Sometimes you can't listen to the consensus here. If you feel it's right you need to go for it. Relationships always go through their ups and downs, you just need to get through the downs and work things out. I know there's this alpha code etc, use don't let them disrespect you, walk away but sometimes we have to cut a little slack for the ones we really love. I still think there is always one chick that we can never get over and vice versa. Maybe Jariels ex feels the same about him but can't understand why he dumped her when she was going through a tough time.

 

[funkychunk19]

This is what I am saying. Jariels ex was good and didn't cheat on him. Maybe he took too much advice from this board and dumped her when she disrespected him coz she was going through a tough time. Sometimes you can't listen to the consensus here. If you feel it's right you need to go for it. Relationships always go through their ups and downs, you just need to get through the downs and work things out. I know there's this alpha code etc, use don't let them disrespect you, walk away but sometimes we have to cut a little slack for the ones we really love. I still think there is always one chick that we can never get over and vice versa. Maybe Jariels ex feels the same about him but can't understand why he dumped her when she was going through a tough time.

Yep...thats what scares me the most. Every situation is unique...these forms help tons with getting past the heartbreak. But you will never know if youbare making the right decisions.

 

[orbion2013]

my ex was a total bit@ch... is it easier to get over a bad ex?

 

[lexa]

6 months and I'm still not over her...

Time to come clean. It's been 6 months since I last saw my ex and I'm still thinking about her every day and missing her like crazy.

Last night I opened up my archived emails on Facebook and saw some of the mails we had sent to each other last year. It was incredible how much she loved me. She wrote about times when she'd look into my eyes and feel so in love it scared her, how she'd never felt such emotional intensity before and how I mean the world to her. She was saying how she goes to bed when I'm not there and she craves me, and cuddles upto my t-shirt because it's like there's a part of me with her.

They were such heartfelt and emotional emails and reading them again broke me down again. I ended up reflecting on how things ended between us and the retaliation and hard feelings that came afterwards. I know a lot of guys here feel like the victim of their break up, and I did too, but I realise I brought it on myself. I dumped her and tried to fvck with her head and it backfired. She called my bluff and I honestly can't blame her for not wanting to try again.

I keep convincing myself that I'm moving on. I've dated and kissed quite a lot of girls, and yet I can't even bring myself to have sex with anyone.

I went on another date tonight, all went well and we went back to her place. We were getting hot and heavy on the sofa and we were both horny and ready to fvck, and all I could think about was my ex and I just felt like I wanted to cry.

Here's the fvcked up part. I pulled away and we had a bit of a cuddle on the couch. She was holding onto me tightly, resting her head on my chest as we watched TV. It felt nice and I wrapped my arms around her...and for a moment I drifted off thinking it was my ex in my arms. Then she spoke and the voice didn't match, then it pulled me back to reality.

I feel like I'm doing everything right. I'm making such great progress in the gym, focusing on my work and rebuilding myself. I've got my confidence back, I've got my pick of many hot women and I'm maintaining no contact. I'm meditating and using hypnosis, and for a big part of the day I feel free from the pain, can put my ex out of my mind, but every so often it all comes flooding back and I'm finding it so difficult to move on or be with someone else.

I'm at the point now where I'm over the resentment and bitterness of the break up. In fact, I can put it into perspective and recognise we both played our part. I honestly hold no hard feelings towards her at this point and I maintain she is a genuinely good person. But I still miss her so much and that's the part that is holding me back.

Man, that's tough, if other girls make u think of the ex then may be the best way is to completely erase girls for a while, a detox of girls as it were, instead work on something else entirely, I was spending more time with friends and god daughter, is actually quite nice. And you realise u really don't need to be in a relationship to be happy.

 

[Arossi2211]

Hey guys, I have not posted for a while but for those of you that remember my situation well I had a DNA test done for my daughter and it was positive so the 2 year old girl is in fact my child. My problem is that my ex is refusing to let me see the child until she gets legal advice and also she wont allow me to ask how the child is and to talk to my daughter on the phone at the moment because apparently I am harassing her !!!!!!! I have only seen my daughter twice for a few hours since the 8th December and I am not in a position to seek legal advice since I cant afford the expense. My ex has another guy or two on the scene not living with her but obviously sleeping together so she is in no rush to get back to me with regards to seeing my daughter. Basically we spoke two days ago about having contact with my daughter and her exact words were 'Leave me alone and I will contact you when i'm ready'. We have not gone longer than a week without contact which has mostly been about my daughter but now I have no choice but to stop all contact until I hear from her about my daughter and the discussion will just be about my child and nothing else. I have deleted my ex's number from my phone so I am not tempted to text her even if it was just to ask how my daughter is purely because she will try to accuse me of harassment again and threaten me with an injunction which she has already done. I just wanted to get some opinions back from you guys about my situation and how you think things will pan out. Oh also she said 3 weeks ago she does love and miss me but doesn't want to try again and she said she wanted to stop being horrible for our daughters sake and I said I didn't want to be her friend I wanted to be her lover and I didn't want to hear about her love life and that I was only willing to discuss the child. !!!! And since I said that she has been even more difficult and not co-operating at all with regards to my contact with my daughter......

 

[Jariel]

This is what I am saying. Jariels ex was good and didn't cheat on him. Maybe he took too much advice from this board and dumped her when she disrespected him coz she was going through a tough time. Sometimes you can't listen to the consensus here. If you feel it's right you need to go for it. Relationships always go through their ups and downs, you just need to get through the downs and work things out. I know there's this alpha code etc, use don't let them disrespect you, walk away but sometimes we have to cut a little slack for the ones we really love. I still think there is always one chick that we can never get over and vice versa. Maybe Jariels ex feels the same about him but can't understand why he dumped her when she was going through a tough time.

There's a lot of truth to this. Even though I didn't take direct advice from this board before the break up, there was a lot of past advice and brainwashing that caused me to end things. The whole "if she's unresponsive, she's banging someone else" attitude instilled paranoia in me and made me act in a defensive and insecure way. Of course, she was going through a horrible time, she'd even been in hospital because the stress had got to her, but I pre-emptively dumped her to try and save my ego and because I thought it would make her respect me more as a man. Well, it backfired completely and just showed me to be a spoilt little b1tch throwing a tantrum.

Don't get me wrong, there is some solid advice on this board and a lot of it comes from personal experience. When we say you need to keep no contact, for example, we say this because we have experienced what happens when you break it and we know from our own experience that this is the best chance for us to heal, get a more objective perspective and rebuild ourselves.

You just have to filter out the advice that comes from first hand experience from all the textbook and theoretical bullsh1t on this forum. And never allow yourself to get sucked into all the negativity and paranoia, because that can become a self fulfilling prophecy and make you very insecure.

Man, that's tough, if other girls make u think of the ex then may be the best way is to completely erase girls for a while, a detox of girls as it were, instead work on something else entirely, I was spending more time with friends and god daughter, is actually quite nice. And you realise u really don't need to be in a relationship to be happy.

I think you're right. Having women in my life helps fill the emptiness upto a point. It's really nice getting the texts, flirting and having a date to look forward to, but I just don't feel ready to take it to the next level. There was someone I was seeing before christmas who I really enjoyed being with and she helped me forget about my ex, but I think I was building her up in my mind to be more than she is.

I actually find a lot more contentment when I'm in the gym, meditating or engrossed in self improvement books/videos, so I guess I should just put the dating on hold for a while.

It's so frustrating that I have so many prospects, so many opportunities to have sex with some hot women, and I'm STILL being held back by thoughts of my ex.

 

[Renegade357]

This is what I am saying. Jariels ex was good and didn't cheat on him. Maybe he took too much advice from this board and dumped her when she disrespected him coz she was going through a tough time. Sometimes you can't listen to the consensus here. If you feel it's right you need to go for it. Relationships always go through their ups and downs, you just need to get through the downs and work things out. I know there's this alpha code etc, use don't let them disrespect you, walk away but sometimes we have to cut a little slack for the ones we really love. I still think there is always one chick that we can never get over and vice versa. Maybe Jariels ex feels the same about him but can't understand why he dumped her when she was going through a tough time.

I'm just past the 6 month mark myself. Also did the pre-emptive breakup thing like Jariel. And also like Jariel I'm still not over my ex and think about her every day. I hate it.

The thing is though she treated me like crap at the end. She was totally cold and distant with me. She gave me no indication that she wanted our relationship to go forward into a bright future. Her idea of effort in our relationship was being present. Being there.

6 months later I stand by my decision to end it with her. I don't want to go back into a relationship where the other person always has one foot outside the door. I'm tired of having to game her 24/7 just to stay in the game. It's over, done.

One thing I'll say for any of you going no-contact to get your ex back. It doesn't work. I played it 100% by the book. She only made two attempts to contact me. One on my birthday. Simple unemotional message like I was some kind of acquaintance of something. And then another when she offered for me to come get my stuff back from her house while she wasn't home like a dog. She said she'd leave her back fence unlocked so I could come in and grab them. No thanks princess. Never a "how are you?" "can we talk" "I miss you"... 0 nothing nada

I'm pissed and hurt but will stand behind my decision to walk away until I go to the grave. I won't be in a relationship like that.

We all just need to suck it up and realize it was never meant to be. That's why we're on this board sulking in the first place.

 

[drakeramore]

Hey Jariel,

My situation is quite similar. My ex girl is a nice good girl, she did not cheat, loved me to death ( I still believe this to be true). I too re-read some of our texts messages from a year ago the other day and it was shocking to see how in love she was with me and how I did not give a fvck about it. Now I realize she was going through what I have been the past 2 months - a very hard period of trying to cope with this addiction I have - the addiction being her.

She was also going through a tough, tough period a year ago, but so was I. I kept my issues to myself as a man should but she started behaving a bit odd - acted desperate and suspicious of me cheating on her. That pushed me away from her and I more or less dumped her. Then we got together "being only friends with benefits". But I had never stopped loving her.

I needed to just support her more back then and simply realize that she is just a woman and her emotions were running wild and what I had to do was just be the solid foundation that she could lean on. That is what being a man is after all I think. But I acted blinded by my pride and vanity, could not accept her behaviour and alienated myself from the relationship, became aloof and detached. She suffered a lot because of this.

After becoming friends with benefits she gradually moved on after meeting somebody at her job. I was not aware and still continued having my hopes that we will again meet each other somewhere in the middle of our tumultuous on-and-off relationship (we both have a lot of pride - even to a foolish extent). My hopes were mainly based on the beauty and (at least the perceived) uniqueness of what we had back in the beginning of our relationship. Granted she (and I) were a bit different back then and the excitement and the spontaneity of the sparks between us were even a bit magical.

So, yes, sometimes you do need to make a compromise or two with your foolish pride and childishness, it does not always happen as in the DJ bible and not every girl out there is out to get us, guys There are truly good ones out there who are worth our getting rid of parts of our ego and pride and who deserve our hearts and love (in its purest form - ie the sincere caring of the well-being of another person).

Almost 2 months have passed since she left my country. I can say now that I feel way more stable, at times it still hurts like hell but the pain has receded and is not as sharp as before, my desire for life and what it can offer me has all but returned, I see hope and I feel comfortable being alone, I am not desperate for a woman in my life, I need to be happy with myself first and to find once again my self-worth and my inner peace and happiness. This is something worth striving for and worth fighting for.

It may take a while but I am hopeful I will pull through.

I am not bitter anymore, if my ex girl contacts me I will reply. Will be polite and short on words, and will try to have a smile on my face. What we had was great, it just ended. I am beginning to accept it, it is only part of life. I think I am ready to move on. More positivity in my life is what I have always needed it turns out. This heartbreak showed me that, this forum and all the help I found through friends and the internet showed me that.

Positivity and self-belief, happiness from within, these are not just some catchphrases I believe. We all can be happy only if we choose to be. I believe that. I have a long way to go to apply that to my life though.

Thanks for all the help, guys. Stay strong!

 

[Contrails]

Gentlemen, it's been six months since the break-up and four since no contact. Holy sh!t, things have changed. I am so much happier now. And people have noticed this. Especially at work, when I would have fights with my ex and it would end up with me taking it out on my colleagues. Now, I am the most chilled guy at work. I am always smiling, enjoying life.

I honestly urge you to truly forget her and move on. If it's meant to be, she will come around. Till then you can meet so many others! And by the time she comes around, you would have met someone way better. But first you have to make changes and the changes you make have to improve yourself in one way or the other. This is the key to moving on.

The other one that really helps, go travelling and go alone. Just get the f*ck out of the mess you're in. Go Asia, go Europe, go Mexico, go somewhere completely different even just for a week. Your mind will be more engaged in the new sights and sounds. You will meet people with stories to tell and it will slowly help you grow as well. Sooner or later, you will have your own stories to tell. It's not about getting drunk and being wasted, but experiencing new things, food, culture. Anything that will help your mind to stop thinking about her. Because right now, it's not that she is actually special, but it's the fear of loss or the feelings of losing her that's made her special. It's no different from losing your favourite toy. You should have a find a better toy and you will forget about the previous one. All those memories will be soon forgotten as you will build better ones with someone else.

Get a new hobby. This is another one which will help you move on as your mind will focus on this more than her. Oh and if you plan to play a musical instrument, stop listening to those depressing love songs (don't use the excuse that you are just trying to learn them). Again, everything that reminds you of her needs to be eradicated, NOW!

Let me say this, TIME IS TICKING and waits for no one. You need to get a move on. Listen to the song Time by Pink Floyd. Awesome song.

 

[bateman72]

Hey guys, I have not posted for a while but for those of you that remember my situation well I had a DNA test done for my daughter and it was positive so the 2 year old girl is in fact my child. My problem is that my ex is refusing to let me see the child until she gets legal advice and also she wont allow me to ask how the child is and to talk to my daughter on the phone at the moment because apparently I am harassing her !!!!!!! I have only seen my daughter twice for a few hours since the 8th December and I am not in a position to seek legal advice since I cant afford the expense. My ex has another guy or two on the scene not living with her but obviously sleeping together so she is in no rush to get back to me with regards to seeing my daughter. Basically we spoke two days ago about having contact with my daughter and her exact words were 'Leave me alone and I will contact you when i'm ready'. We have not gone longer than a week without contact which has mostly been about my daughter but now I have no choice but to stop all contact until I hear from her about my daughter and the discussion will just be about my child and nothing else. I have deleted my ex's number from my phone so I am not tempted to text her even if it was just to ask how my daughter is purely because she will try to accuse me of harassment again and threaten me with an injunction which she has already done. I just wanted to get some opinions back from you guys about my situation and how you think things will pan out. Oh also she said 3 weeks ago she does love and miss me but doesn't want to try again and she said she wanted to stop being horrible for our daughters sake and I said I didn't want to be her friend I wanted to be her lover and I didn't want to hear about her love life and that I was only willing to discuss the child. !!!! And since I said that she has been even more difficult and not co-operating at all with regards to my contact with my daughter......

I really don't like this woman.

You have only responsibilities and no rights in this situation.

If this woman was worth having in your life she would facilitate you seeing your daughter. If she is not doing this she is a bad person and you need to get as far away as possible.

once the specter of harassment is raised you lose all power in the situation. You have to not contact her at all.

Go completely silent, get yourself in a situation where you can get a lawyer, establish legal paternity and fight for visitation rights if you want to continue a relationship with your child.

At some point she will come after you for child support.

Any and all correspondence with this woman should be done through a lawyer.

you are in a terrible position and I sympathize .

 

[bateman72]

Gentlemen, it's been six months since the break-up and four since no contact. Holy sh!t, things have changed. I am so much happier now. And people have noticed this. Especially at work, when I would have fights with my ex and it would end up with me taking it out on my colleagues. Now, I am the most chilled guy at work. I am always smiling, enjoying life.

I honestly urge you to truly forget her and move on. If it's meant to be, she will come around. Till then you can meet so many others! And by the time she comes around, you would have met someone way better. But first you have to make changes and the changes you make have to improve yourself in one way or the other. This is the key to moving on.

The other one that really helps, go travelling and go alone. Just get the f*ck out of the mess you're in. Go Asia, go Europe, go Mexico, go somewhere completely different even just for a week. Your mind will be more engaged in the new sights and sounds. You will meet people with stories to tell and it will slowly help you grow as well. Sooner or later, you will have your own stories to tell. It's not about getting drunk and being wasted, but experiencing new things, food, culture. Anything that will help your mind to stop thinking about her. Because right now, it's not that she is actually special, but it's the fear of loss or the feelings of losing her that's made her special. It's no different from losing your favourite toy. You should have a find a better toy and you will forget about the previous one. All those memories will be soon forgotten as you will build better ones with someone else.

Get a new hobby. This is another one which will help you move on as your mind will focus on this more than her. Oh and if you plan to play a musical instrument, stop listening to those depressing love songs (don't use the excuse that you are just trying to learn them). Again, everything that reminds you of her needs to be eradicated, NOW!

Let me say this, TIME IS TICKING and waits for no one. You need to get a move on. Listen to the song Time by Pink Floyd. Awesome song.

Thanks for posting this. I have been reading the posts by Jariel and Drakermore and getting a bit worried. I am only on day 30 and I don't want to be thinking about my ex at the 180 day mark.

I am sure that the relationships these guys had were tremendously special and their ex's were very special. I don't minimize how powerful a great connection with a special woman can be.

However we are all on this forum because our relationships are over. Jariel in particular seems like a great guy and I was trying align the advice on this forum with the fact that there are some normal sounding guys on here that have done NC successfully and they are still hurting over their ex's.

This post illustrates an important point I think. if you are still hurting about your ex perhaps its time to think about the magnitude of the life changes you have made since the breakup. I was flying back from my ex's city last night a little bit down thinking about her. It occurs to me today that the only reason I am still thinking about her is because if have not effected ENOUGH change in my life so far to truly move on.

Guys I think when we find ourselves still thinking about our ex or having bad moments even after the initial 60 day period is over it just means that you are still not done working on your life.

Bad breaks ups can make people change their city or their career. I am starting to think that the more painful your break up is the more radical a change you need to make in your life/lifestyle.

As Contrails says..."time is ticking" and the pain is probably just telling us not to rest and to keep moving forward.

 

[Renegade357]

Guys I think when we find ourselves still thinking about our ex or having bad moments even after the initial 60 day period is over it just means that you are still not done working on your life.

I've done a lot. More in the past 6 months than I have for myself in the past 5 years. I'm dating, having secks with women, working on my skills. The fact is the pain won't go away until you find and get with someone you like better.

 

[Arossi2211]

I really don't like this woman.

You have only responsibilities and no rights in this situation.

If this woman was worth having in your life she would facilitate you seeing your daughter. If she is not doing this she is a bad person and you need to get as far away as possible.

once the specter of harassment is raised you lose all power in the situation. You have to not contact her at all.

Go completely silent, get yourself in a situation where you can get a lawyer, establish legal paternity and fight for visitation rights if you want to continue a relationship with your child.

At some point she will come after you for child support.

Any and all correspondence with this woman should be done through a lawyer.

you are in a terrible position and I sympathize .

She is a very selfish and manipulative piece of work. She has already asked me for money to support the child and I offered her an amount I thought was reasonable and she called me a cheap skate and said my daughter will be ok without my measly offer. I also said I would start paying some money when I begin to see my daughter on a regular basis. I am not financially in a position to get a lawyer so she has got me by the balls. I have no power whatsoever the only thing I can do is go ghost and hope that she comes to her senses and that my daughter needs to have her dad in her life because whatever I want my ex is not not to give me because its clear she wants to make me suffer and make my life as hellish as possible !!!!!!!!!

 

[bateman72]

She is a very selfish and manipulative piece of work. She has already asked me for money to support the child and I offered her an amount I thought was reasonable and she called me a cheap skate and said my daughter will be ok without my measly offer. I also said I would start paying some money when I begin to see my daughter on a regular basis. I am not financially in a position to get a lawyer so she has got me by the balls. I have no power whatsoever the only thing I can do is go ghost and hope that she comes to her senses and that my daughter needs to have her dad in her life because whatever I want my ex is not not to give me because its clear she wants to make me suffer and make my life as hellish as possible !!!!!!!!!

You are going to have plenty of opportunities to give her money later, I would avoid passing any cash right now. If you give her money give it by check so at least its documented.

 

[Jariel]

What some of you guys have said about making a big life change makes a lot of sense. I'm finding a lot of places around where I live and on the way to work remind me of her and I'm finding there just aren't enough big distractions for me right now.

The gym helps and I've also recently got a small business off the ground, which is taking a lot of my time. I'm currently building some savings and then I may look to move out of this area and change my lifestyle.

It's crazy how much pain and mental torment a break up can cause a person. I've never gone through this before. I've been hurt and confused by break ups before, but nothing like this.

I think people suffer break ups on different levels. Some guys were mistreated or betrayed by their ex and they are left with low confidence, feeling unworthy and they crave their ex to give them back their sense of self worth. Some get totally angry and can't stand their ex getting one over on them, and they get consumed by the hate and negativity. Then there are others like myself who lost a genuinely great girlfriend and feel a sense of emptiness without her.

After previous break ups, I felt quite cautious getting back into the field. I was nervous when dating, didn't feel confident enough to make moves or flirt, whereas this time I've got no problem with any of this. I've got the options and the confidence to get a woman any night of the week and I've turned down or steered away from sex several times now. I just wish I could get my ex out of my head and start enjoying the dating scene again.