fuko, I am in no position to give you any advice. all I know is I wished that I didn't reply straight after the break up. she now has all the power and I feel pathetic... hang in there bro. it helps to vent here instead of replying and then feel miserable about it. it doesn't work... it doesn't make anything better...
The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)
- Thread starter Daydream Engineer
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Razzled_TK
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Lovin' the advice/replies here, Thanks guys. 
Start of day 3 today.. and facebook apparently HAS to show what people like on Instagram (her on a romantic date).. sometimes i really hate social media . Gahhh. Kind of hard to study for exams now.. time to find something else to do to distract me :nervous:..
Start of day 3 today.. and facebook apparently HAS to show what people like on Instagram (her on a romantic date).. sometimes i really hate social media
. Gahhh. Kind of hard to study for exams now.. time to find something else to do to distract me :nervous:..Apologies for the long post. I’ve been doing NC on my own and struggling some.
I’m posting here because like most of you, I’ve been burned and need to go NC for my own sanity.
A bit about me: probably a bit older than most here (51). Fairly well educated/read/traveled. Just goes to show you don’t have to be young to be stupid.
The backstory: I started a new job about a year and a half ago. Walked in the door and saw a cute redhead (HB7.5 or so). Was attracted to her right off away, but more than that, felt like she would have a big impact on my life. I got that right…
Her interest level seemed overly high for having just met, as I am much older than she (Red Flag #1). Turns out she’s a single mom of two kids from different fathers (Red Flag #2), one of whom is also much older than she (see Red Flag #1). She had ‘kicked him out’ and was planning on divorcing him ‘as soon as she had the money’ (Red Flag #3). She told me she was in a relationship with another guy (again, much older than she, but I didn’t know that at the time), but that he just wanted to stay as FB or FWB but she wanted more and she ‘didn’t have to settle’ so he’d soon be her ex as well. (Red Flag #4)
Within a couple of weeks (while she’s still seeing the other guy) we began Skyping each other, both at work and after hours. She was also blowing up my phone with texts and sexts. Soon after that she starts putting on webcam shows for me. (Red Flag #5) During the course of our conversations, she mentioned an affair she’d had with yet another older guy (even older than I) before she kicked her soon-to-be-ex-husband out (Red Flag #6).
One night while on Skype we were in the middle of a conversation when she said ‘gotta go – bye’ and dropped offline. Didn’t think much of it until later when she mentioned she and her recent ‘ex-boyfriend’ used to watch a certain TV show that started at that time on the night she was on Skype with me. I figure he walked in the door right about then. (Should have been Red Flag #7)
A couple of weeks later she says she’s ditched the boyfriend so we start getting really hot and heavy and she invited me over to her house after work for a fvck. After an hour or so of some porn star sex (Red Flag #8) she realizes she’s forgotten her daughter at school (Red Flag #9). She rushes off to collect her daughter and I head home.
Since we both had a long commute to work and lived relatively close together, she kept hinting that we should carpool. I finally agreed and she said she’d pay me for her portion of the gas. She did for a while, then starts to ‘forget’. I had oneitis bad, so I let it slide.
We continue fvcking for a couple months, and then she starts to become distant. She mentions something about a guy we both know who works in another division of our company, and I said something offhand like ‘what a loser’ (he’s at least 100 lbs overweight and drinks heavily). She gets all indignant and starts defending the guy. Turns out he’s the ‘ex-boyfriend’ that she supposedly dropped to start seeing me. (should have been Red Flag #10).
Things cooled off rapidly after that. Never got the LJBF speech directly, but it happened. She flirted with every man around, regardless of who or where. During that time, she went ‘camping’ a couple times (said it was with her kids. It wasn’t). She went to a wedding with a ‘friend of a friend’ and she spent the night with at his house, but ‘nothing happened, because he’s very religious and not my type’ (complete BS, turns out he was another, also considerably older than she, co-worker and ‘friend’ of mine. Of course, she fvcked him). I didn’t know this for sure at the time, so, being a total AFC at that point, I let her keep riding to work with me, going to lunch with her, helping her at work, with her college course work, etc.
A few months later she was going ‘camping’ over the weekend, and it was obvious that she wasn’t going alone. When I confronted her the following Monday, she finally admitted she’d been seeing her ex-boyfriend ‘off and on’ for months. I blew up, and didn’t talk to her for about a month. Heard through the grapevine she’s pressuring the guy to live together, but he ain’t going for it.
Started talking to her again after she sent me a Skype (I know, I know, I was halfway to the 60 days and I fvcked it up). Kept talking to her off and on for about six weeks. She sent me some new pics of her and her kids and her new car (which she wondered if I teach her how to drive, since it’s a manual. Of course, she already had her boyfriend do it – she just wanted to see if I would be stupid enough to agree). Shortly thereafter I stopped seeing her every day because I got a new job.
I basically stopped talking to her again, so a few days later she sent me a Skype asking ‘are you too good to talk to me now?’ I replied ‘no, but I really don’t see the point. You made your choices, and you didn’t choose me. I need more from this relationship than you are willing to give, so I need to move on and let you do the same. It’s not what I wanted (I wanted you, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life) but given the way things are, it’s what I need. I’m glad you’re happy and I wish you the best’. Not great, but not completely AFC either.
After about a month I saw her at a farewell lunch for a mutual female friend. Didn’t really talk to her, even though she made a point to sit directly across the table from me. I didn’t hear from her for a while after that.
A couple weeks later I was supposed to go to an event that she and I had planned to attend together months earlier, but I didn’t feel like seeing her (and more than likely her ‘ex’ or whoever else she was fvcking at the time so she could throw them in my face) and I needed to fix my fence anyway so I blew it off. The morning of the event she starts blowing up my phone with ‘are you going to be here?’ messages. I told her ‘no, I’m going to fix my fence’.
Then I fvcked up and sent her a text saying ‘Happy Easter’. No reply. That was it…my last day as an AFC. I went NC. Deleted her from Skype. She was already gone from Facebook and LinkedIn. She’s still got my phone #s, though.
Day 0 – the NC challenge begins…
Day 1 - I received a text from her saying ‘I am free’ telling me her divorce is final. Did not reply. She either won’t care (likely) or it will piss her off. Either way, I doubt I ever hear from her again.
Day 2- I was on Skype with a female colleague of hers and the colleague mentioned she was telling everyone about her divorce being final and about some new guy at work that ‘is interested in her, but she’s not interested in him’. I asked my former colleague to please not talk about her to me from now on.
Days 3 – 10 - Tough going. I think about her all the time, but it’s slowly waning. Another female former colleague of ours sent me a Skype asking if I’d spoken with her. I told her no, there’s no point, that she made her choice, and that I’m moving on. I didn’t tell the friend I’d deleted her from Skype or ignored the text about her divorce.
Day 11 - So far so good. Getting better. Still get lots of ‘triggers’ (sights, sounds, etc) that make me think of her. Waste of time. She’s damn sure not thinking about me. Planning on a long ride through some twisty roads on the bike this weekend to help.
Day 12 - Day started off OK. Had to get up at 4 am to go to the airport to fly home. Slept the whole way and crashed when I got home so didn’t think about her at all.
Day 13 - Didn’t make the bike ride, but went down to the beach and hung out. Had a nice dinner and chatted up every woman I had a chance to, especially the HB8.5 or so that was working in the gift shop.
Day 14 - Did a bunch of work around the house that I’d been putting off for too long. Had a bad couple of hours and thought about her way too much after seeing a character in a movie that made me think of her ex she went back to.
Day 15 - Still thinking about her, but now it just pisses me off, both at her and myself. She hasn’t tried to contact me for two weeks. Sometimes wonder if I did the right thing, but then I snap out of it and realize that if she does ever bother to contact me again, it will only be all about her (it always was) and nothing to do with me.
****. Sitting in the doctor’s office and one of her favorite songs comes on the radio. Oh well. Forget her, and concentrate on chatting up the office staff. The one who I’d love to bang is already flirting with me, and the other HB8 is working today too. The good news is it _is_ getting easier.
Day 16 - Today sucks so far. Lots of triggers. The up side is there are a lot of HB8s and above in this building. Having a bit of a panic attack as I am realizing I will probably never have contact with her again. I really didn’t want to lose her.
The good news is there are 3.5 billion women on the planet. That’s 3,500 million. Even given one in a million odds that one of them is a HB8+ that I’d be interested in and would also be interested in me, that’s 3500 women. Even if only 50% of them are of appropriate age, that’s still 1750 women. I don’t think I can do 1750 women in the time I have left on this rock.
Day 17 - So far so good. She’s crossed my mind a couple times, but that’s it. Dammit, now she’s creeping in. It would help if she would try to contact me, put it probably won’t happen. She’s so used to this it’s no worries for her. Haven’t stalked her Facebook or LinkedIn yet, so that’s a good thing. Last time I looked her status was still listed as ‘single’ even though she’s trying to move in with her ‘ex’. Poor bastard probably doesn’t have a clue. I used to feel sorry for her, but now I’m starting to feel sorry for _him_.
Day 18 - Been reading the NC threads again today. It helps a lot. I just remembered she still owes me about 350 bucks, which pisses me off too.
I’m posting here because like most of you, I’ve been burned and need to go NC for my own sanity.
A bit about me: probably a bit older than most here (51). Fairly well educated/read/traveled. Just goes to show you don’t have to be young to be stupid.
The backstory: I started a new job about a year and a half ago. Walked in the door and saw a cute redhead (HB7.5 or so). Was attracted to her right off away, but more than that, felt like she would have a big impact on my life. I got that right…
Her interest level seemed overly high for having just met, as I am much older than she (Red Flag #1). Turns out she’s a single mom of two kids from different fathers (Red Flag #2), one of whom is also much older than she (see Red Flag #1). She had ‘kicked him out’ and was planning on divorcing him ‘as soon as she had the money’ (Red Flag #3). She told me she was in a relationship with another guy (again, much older than she, but I didn’t know that at the time), but that he just wanted to stay as FB or FWB but she wanted more and she ‘didn’t have to settle’ so he’d soon be her ex as well. (Red Flag #4)
Within a couple of weeks (while she’s still seeing the other guy) we began Skyping each other, both at work and after hours. She was also blowing up my phone with texts and sexts. Soon after that she starts putting on webcam shows for me. (Red Flag #5) During the course of our conversations, she mentioned an affair she’d had with yet another older guy (even older than I) before she kicked her soon-to-be-ex-husband out (Red Flag #6).
One night while on Skype we were in the middle of a conversation when she said ‘gotta go – bye’ and dropped offline. Didn’t think much of it until later when she mentioned she and her recent ‘ex-boyfriend’ used to watch a certain TV show that started at that time on the night she was on Skype with me. I figure he walked in the door right about then. (Should have been Red Flag #7)
A couple of weeks later she says she’s ditched the boyfriend so we start getting really hot and heavy and she invited me over to her house after work for a fvck. After an hour or so of some porn star sex (Red Flag #8) she realizes she’s forgotten her daughter at school (Red Flag #9). She rushes off to collect her daughter and I head home.
Since we both had a long commute to work and lived relatively close together, she kept hinting that we should carpool. I finally agreed and she said she’d pay me for her portion of the gas. She did for a while, then starts to ‘forget’. I had oneitis bad, so I let it slide.
We continue fvcking for a couple months, and then she starts to become distant. She mentions something about a guy we both know who works in another division of our company, and I said something offhand like ‘what a loser’ (he’s at least 100 lbs overweight and drinks heavily). She gets all indignant and starts defending the guy. Turns out he’s the ‘ex-boyfriend’ that she supposedly dropped to start seeing me. (should have been Red Flag #10).
Things cooled off rapidly after that. Never got the LJBF speech directly, but it happened. She flirted with every man around, regardless of who or where. During that time, she went ‘camping’ a couple times (said it was with her kids. It wasn’t). She went to a wedding with a ‘friend of a friend’ and she spent the night with at his house, but ‘nothing happened, because he’s very religious and not my type’ (complete BS, turns out he was another, also considerably older than she, co-worker and ‘friend’ of mine. Of course, she fvcked him). I didn’t know this for sure at the time, so, being a total AFC at that point, I let her keep riding to work with me, going to lunch with her, helping her at work, with her college course work, etc.
A few months later she was going ‘camping’ over the weekend, and it was obvious that she wasn’t going alone. When I confronted her the following Monday, she finally admitted she’d been seeing her ex-boyfriend ‘off and on’ for months. I blew up, and didn’t talk to her for about a month. Heard through the grapevine she’s pressuring the guy to live together, but he ain’t going for it.
Started talking to her again after she sent me a Skype (I know, I know, I was halfway to the 60 days and I fvcked it up). Kept talking to her off and on for about six weeks. She sent me some new pics of her and her kids and her new car (which she wondered if I teach her how to drive, since it’s a manual. Of course, she already had her boyfriend do it – she just wanted to see if I would be stupid enough to agree). Shortly thereafter I stopped seeing her every day because I got a new job.
I basically stopped talking to her again, so a few days later she sent me a Skype asking ‘are you too good to talk to me now?’ I replied ‘no, but I really don’t see the point. You made your choices, and you didn’t choose me. I need more from this relationship than you are willing to give, so I need to move on and let you do the same. It’s not what I wanted (I wanted you, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life) but given the way things are, it’s what I need. I’m glad you’re happy and I wish you the best’. Not great, but not completely AFC either.
After about a month I saw her at a farewell lunch for a mutual female friend. Didn’t really talk to her, even though she made a point to sit directly across the table from me. I didn’t hear from her for a while after that.
A couple weeks later I was supposed to go to an event that she and I had planned to attend together months earlier, but I didn’t feel like seeing her (and more than likely her ‘ex’ or whoever else she was fvcking at the time so she could throw them in my face) and I needed to fix my fence anyway so I blew it off. The morning of the event she starts blowing up my phone with ‘are you going to be here?’ messages. I told her ‘no, I’m going to fix my fence’.
Then I fvcked up and sent her a text saying ‘Happy Easter’. No reply. That was it…my last day as an AFC. I went NC. Deleted her from Skype. She was already gone from Facebook and LinkedIn. She’s still got my phone #s, though.
Day 0 – the NC challenge begins…
Day 1 - I received a text from her saying ‘I am free’ telling me her divorce is final. Did not reply. She either won’t care (likely) or it will piss her off. Either way, I doubt I ever hear from her again.
Day 2- I was on Skype with a female colleague of hers and the colleague mentioned she was telling everyone about her divorce being final and about some new guy at work that ‘is interested in her, but she’s not interested in him’. I asked my former colleague to please not talk about her to me from now on.
Days 3 – 10 - Tough going. I think about her all the time, but it’s slowly waning. Another female former colleague of ours sent me a Skype asking if I’d spoken with her. I told her no, there’s no point, that she made her choice, and that I’m moving on. I didn’t tell the friend I’d deleted her from Skype or ignored the text about her divorce.
Day 11 - So far so good. Getting better. Still get lots of ‘triggers’ (sights, sounds, etc) that make me think of her. Waste of time. She’s damn sure not thinking about me. Planning on a long ride through some twisty roads on the bike this weekend to help.
Day 12 - Day started off OK. Had to get up at 4 am to go to the airport to fly home. Slept the whole way and crashed when I got home so didn’t think about her at all.
Day 13 - Didn’t make the bike ride, but went down to the beach and hung out. Had a nice dinner and chatted up every woman I had a chance to, especially the HB8.5 or so that was working in the gift shop.
Day 14 - Did a bunch of work around the house that I’d been putting off for too long. Had a bad couple of hours and thought about her way too much after seeing a character in a movie that made me think of her ex she went back to.
Day 15 - Still thinking about her, but now it just pisses me off, both at her and myself. She hasn’t tried to contact me for two weeks. Sometimes wonder if I did the right thing, but then I snap out of it and realize that if she does ever bother to contact me again, it will only be all about her (it always was) and nothing to do with me.
****. Sitting in the doctor’s office and one of her favorite songs comes on the radio. Oh well. Forget her, and concentrate on chatting up the office staff. The one who I’d love to bang is already flirting with me, and the other HB8 is working today too. The good news is it _is_ getting easier.
Day 16 - Today sucks so far. Lots of triggers. The up side is there are a lot of HB8s and above in this building. Having a bit of a panic attack as I am realizing I will probably never have contact with her again. I really didn’t want to lose her.
The good news is there are 3.5 billion women on the planet. That’s 3,500 million. Even given one in a million odds that one of them is a HB8+ that I’d be interested in and would also be interested in me, that’s 3500 women. Even if only 50% of them are of appropriate age, that’s still 1750 women. I don’t think I can do 1750 women in the time I have left on this rock.
Day 17 - So far so good. She’s crossed my mind a couple times, but that’s it. Dammit, now she’s creeping in. It would help if she would try to contact me, put it probably won’t happen. She’s so used to this it’s no worries for her. Haven’t stalked her Facebook or LinkedIn yet, so that’s a good thing. Last time I looked her status was still listed as ‘single’ even though she’s trying to move in with her ‘ex’. Poor bastard probably doesn’t have a clue. I used to feel sorry for her, but now I’m starting to feel sorry for _him_.
Day 18 - Been reading the NC threads again today. It helps a lot. I just remembered she still owes me about 350 bucks, which pisses me off too.
Mauser96 said:
thank you for your advice. I have read those words over and over since last night. it worked and thank you.
just an update: she texted saying "I never asked for you not to be part of my life so I don't know where u get that"
So when she broke up with me I said hell no to the LJBF idea. But she thinks I am still emotionally there for her!! She is keeping my in the pain zone and it is all for her benefit. NOT GIVING IN.
expos
Master Don Juan
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Day 158 since my divorce.
Day 46 since I last saw my ex-wife.
Day 26 since I wrote my closure "Goodbye" letter and sent it to her.
No contact from her at all.
I miss her a lot sometimes, and I just don't know why since she did cause me a lot of grief. Even when I'm with other women, on dates, texting other girls...my mind drifts to her. I try to get out a lot, workout, go to the bars, play on frisbee team, work many hours...and I just still cannot shake her.
I wouldn't give a sh*t if this was a girlfriend....but this was my wife.
Brutal. Brutal. Brutal.
Day 46 since I last saw my ex-wife.
Day 26 since I wrote my closure "Goodbye" letter and sent it to her.
No contact from her at all.
I miss her a lot sometimes, and I just don't know why since she did cause me a lot of grief. Even when I'm with other women, on dates, texting other girls...my mind drifts to her. I try to get out a lot, workout, go to the bars, play on frisbee team, work many hours...and I just still cannot shake her.
I wouldn't give a sh*t if this was a girlfriend....but this was my wife.
Brutal. Brutal. Brutal.
astonmartinone77
Don Juan
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Well, I know that my stupid little breakup is nothing compared to a divorce, but hell, I will share what I just found.
I had been worrying and thinking and overthinking and getting upset over every little memory that I had about her. I was going over everything she is doing after our breakup and how odd it all seemed, how much I lost because of her, how I don't have anyone anymore, etc.
But hell, I just realized that this worrying really doesn't get anything done except to push her away. I just needed to stop holding onto the last drops of hope I had of getting back with her and I just needed to stop caring what she thinks of me. I just said "**** it" if I do something that makes her hate me and makes her friends hate me, so be it. It's my life, you aren't going to control it (trust me, her OTHER ex before me STILL can't get over her).
And wow, surprise surprise, a couple of days ago when I saw her in the hallways where she usually would just ignore me and try to do anything but make eye contact with me, she came up and asked me how I was. I told her that I honestly am just moving on with my life because she treated me so poorly after our breakup.
She hasn't texted me fewer than five times each day for the last two days.
Anyways, my advice, even if it is completely useless to you, is to just stop caring what she thinks of you, in fact, almost go out of your way a bit to make it obvious that you dislike her.
Who knows, good luck guys!
I had been worrying and thinking and overthinking and getting upset over every little memory that I had about her. I was going over everything she is doing after our breakup and how odd it all seemed, how much I lost because of her, how I don't have anyone anymore, etc.
But hell, I just realized that this worrying really doesn't get anything done except to push her away. I just needed to stop holding onto the last drops of hope I had of getting back with her and I just needed to stop caring what she thinks of me. I just said "**** it" if I do something that makes her hate me and makes her friends hate me, so be it. It's my life, you aren't going to control it (trust me, her OTHER ex before me STILL can't get over her).
And wow, surprise surprise, a couple of days ago when I saw her in the hallways where she usually would just ignore me and try to do anything but make eye contact with me, she came up and asked me how I was. I told her that I honestly am just moving on with my life because she treated me so poorly after our breakup.
She hasn't texted me fewer than five times each day for the last two days.
Anyways, my advice, even if it is completely useless to you, is to just stop caring what she thinks of you, in fact, almost go out of your way a bit to make it obvious that you dislike her.
Who knows, good luck guys!
Kevin Matthew
Don Juan
Today is the beginning of Day 11...and things are starting to turn for the better. Yes, I still think about her randomly, and will compare every girl I meet to her, but I can start to feel myself focusing on the more important aspects of my life; Working out, my job, new women and my photography company. I can also feel myself just acting/being happier which might be the most important change I have gone through yet.
Friday night I number-closed, kiss-closed and F-closed within 3 hours of meeting a girl!!! I'd say she was an hb7. Really good boost of confidence, I'll say that. The next night, my ex texted me. It had been a week since she did. I don't remember exactly what she said but it was along these lines: "I just wanted to tell you that i'm going to be hanging out with our mutual friends at EDC. I know you don't want to see me, or talk to me, but it was going to happen. I hope you're doing well."
Thanks to my man Mauser I am poised and ready to handle this in the best way possible. Thanks to myself, and the hard work I've put in the gym recently, I am ready to make her jaw drop when my shirt comes off.
Friday night I number-closed, kiss-closed and F-closed within 3 hours of meeting a girl!!! I'd say she was an hb7. Really good boost of confidence, I'll say that. The next night, my ex texted me. It had been a week since she did. I don't remember exactly what she said but it was along these lines: "I just wanted to tell you that i'm going to be hanging out with our mutual friends at EDC. I know you don't want to see me, or talk to me, but it was going to happen. I hope you're doing well."
Thanks to my man Mauser I am poised and ready to handle this in the best way possible. Thanks to myself, and the hard work I've put in the gym recently, I am ready to make her jaw drop when my shirt comes off.
expos
Master Don Juan
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Your ex sounds like garbage, intent on making you miserable and jealous. Do you really want to spend any time with someone that low of quality.Exoduso said:
Be above her, which it sounds like you are. Simply hold yourself to higher standards...and watch the all the great women come out of the woodwork.
Be glad you that aren't with her anymore...and realize the more you ignore her...the more SHE HURTS.
Hello everyone. I just thought I would post here to share my story. I am starting the "No Contact" challenge!
Unfortunately I already screwed up and broke the rules, but it still will be good for me to do this I think.
Basically I met this girl through online dating. She contacted me first, so I figured she found me attractive and interesting. We talked through email a lot, then on the phone, then met in person. We had so much in common it was almost spooky, it seemed like we were made for each other. We went on 4 dates (the 3rd of which she asked ME out on), and it seemed like she was giving me green lights in some ways, then in other subtle ways was pulling away. I didn't really see it coming, maybe I should have. Total mixed signals though.
On the 4th date I put my arm around her and she acted like it made her uncomfortable, then at the end, tried to kiss her and she said no. That was the last word I ever heard from her. I smiled and said have a good night, and left, and she never spoke to me again.
Unfortunately that night on my way home I texted her saying if she wanted to slow things down that was OK, or if she wanted space or whatever I'd respect that. She didn't reply so about a week later I sent her a longer email explaining that I really liked her and wasn't sure what to think about what happened. No response, then I sent her ANOTHER message about a week later asking if she would at least tell me if it was really over so I could get closure.
Anyway, I know it was dumb to keep trying to contact her, but I'm starting fresh now, 60 days no contact! I still cry sometimes when I think about her, I really fell for her hard and too quickly. The worst part is never knowing what went wrong, everything seemed to be going well then bam, it was over. But I know I have to do the right thing moving forward and NOT try to contact her again.
Help me stay strong and stick to it!
Unfortunately I already screwed up and broke the rules, but it still will be good for me to do this I think.
Basically I met this girl through online dating. She contacted me first, so I figured she found me attractive and interesting. We talked through email a lot, then on the phone, then met in person. We had so much in common it was almost spooky, it seemed like we were made for each other. We went on 4 dates (the 3rd of which she asked ME out on), and it seemed like she was giving me green lights in some ways, then in other subtle ways was pulling away. I didn't really see it coming, maybe I should have. Total mixed signals though.
On the 4th date I put my arm around her and she acted like it made her uncomfortable, then at the end, tried to kiss her and she said no. That was the last word I ever heard from her. I smiled and said have a good night, and left, and she never spoke to me again.
Unfortunately that night on my way home I texted her saying if she wanted to slow things down that was OK, or if she wanted space or whatever I'd respect that. She didn't reply so about a week later I sent her a longer email explaining that I really liked her and wasn't sure what to think about what happened. No response, then I sent her ANOTHER message about a week later asking if she would at least tell me if it was really over so I could get closure.
Anyway, I know it was dumb to keep trying to contact her, but I'm starting fresh now, 60 days no contact! I still cry sometimes when I think about her, I really fell for her hard and too quickly. The worst part is never knowing what went wrong, everything seemed to be going well then bam, it was over. But I know I have to do the right thing moving forward and NOT try to contact her again.
Help me stay strong and stick to it!
^ 4 dates and you cry?
You need to toughen up considerably. Women will eat you alive, perhaps not intentionally, but if you're that easy to wound then you're built to suffer in this game.
You shouldn't have too much trouble with the NC challenge as it was only a very short-term thing, but it will be a good learning experience for you to complete it.
Welcome to the forums, find and read the DJ bible - but don't just mindlessly absorb and build your life around it. Different things work for everyone.
You need to toughen up considerably. Women will eat you alive, perhaps not intentionally, but if you're that easy to wound then you're built to suffer in this game.
You shouldn't have too much trouble with the NC challenge as it was only a very short-term thing, but it will be a good learning experience for you to complete it.
Welcome to the forums, find and read the DJ bible - but don't just mindlessly absorb and build your life around it. Different things work for everyone.
Stumbled across this Lee Hazlewood song the other day. Thought I'd post it here for those lacking determination.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcoseUwRv_E
You said is Lee. You said it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcoseUwRv_E
You said is Lee. You said it.
I think it's mostly lack of experience, this wasn't the first girl I dated but was the first one I really fell for. It was a long distance relationship too so even though it was only 4 dates it lasted over 2 months, and there was a lot of sharing of things over email and phone calls between the dates. I see what you mean though, I definitely do need to toughen up...rhythmic said:
Kevin Matthew
Don Juan
D1ZL4 my friend, you and I are in very similar situations:D1ZL4 said:
1 she broke up with me
2 i initiated no contact
3 she asked me if i wanted to be in an open relationship
4 i don't answer
5 she keeps contacting me
6 pretty sure shes dating someone else
Well i'm on day 12, and I am yet to respond to ANY texts of hers yet. 10 minutes ago she texted me, and I decided to come here to seek advice on whether or not I should respond. She said:
"Did you block my number??"
"Kevin I honestly don't get why you won't talk to me?"
"I miss you so much."
Then I read your post and I now see her real intentions. Saying things like "i miss you" to get me all excited, but knowing she only means that with friendly intentions. It's ALL bull****. D1ZL4, do not respond to ANY more texts, calls, whatever. Now is when it gets hardest, but now is when it matters and the truth will come out.
lol this brings back memories for me.Kevin Matthew said:
First week after I broke up with my ex she sent me a "I'm missing you" text in the early hours of the morning...I replied saying we could meet up and talk if she wanted. Next day she replies saying she was drunk and we should leave things as they are :/
Second week after the breakup she sends me another text in the early hours again saying "I'm missing you, I know I shouldn't txt you, sorry"
I stupidly reply the next day again saying it would be good to see her again and get the same reply "I think we should leave things as they are" yea ok...
She's just trying to regain control of the frame after you went NC. She feels rejected (even though she split with you) so she's trying to find out if you still want her then she will be satisfied.
Don't fall for it.
mikeybox I am sorry that you felt a connection with her and that it didn't work out. However, keep trying to meet new people, and you will eventually find someone you are compatible with that is closer geographically and will also be more receptive. It's best to stop contacting her and try to move on as best as you can. Stay social, and the right person will come along.