The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[staystrong]

if you say so. I think about it a lot, but i literally keep busy all day and dont talk about it anymore. i tried my way, and it blew up in my face. so if this is what you guys say, then I'm going to do it. I just keep wondering if i should hook up with some girl or get a freind with benefits or not. Just because Im angry and i dont care anymore isn't really a good enough excuse. what do you think Royal flush?

 

[staystrong]

if you say so. I think about it a lot, but i literally keep busy all day and dont talk about it anymore. i tried my way, and it blew up in my face. so if this is what you guys say, then I'm going to do it. I just keep wondering if i should hook up with some girl or get a freind with benefits or not. Just because Im angry and i dont care anymore isn't really a good enough excuse. what do you think Royal flush?

 

[Thatfeel21]

Good luck staystrong..read what she put you through, you don;t deserve that!

 

[Thatfeel21]

Good luck staystrong..read what she put you through, you don;t deserve that!

 

[staystrong]

Day 7: im so angry she did all this too me, but im letting go the best i can and moving on. I deserve better, and soon i will get better. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

 

[TonyBaloney]

Hey guys, the following is my first post on this forum. Apologies to any of you who read it a couple of months back...........


QUOTE=TonyBaloney] Hey guys, This is a long one!!!!! 3.5 years of mind blowin confusion! A few basics... Love at first site, knew her mother. shes a 9.5 looks, sex 9.5, intelligence 10.. shes very upper class - dad is a lord - shes real exclusive material, and although ive been playin since the 90's with all kinds of girls this one is rare groove.

A few months in and her playa credentials start to show - i feel it and dumped her. She came back and all was good for a while (in hindsight, i never knew what the fook she was up 2 but what u dont know, dont kill ya i guess) she went on hol while we were apart and got banged. When she got back she told me, but i forgave because i was playin like a afc.

A series of highs and lows occurs till she tells me shes movin abroad. She goes and i try friendzone. I have an ill relative who dies just as shes gets there, i get depressed and she just ignores all contact...COLD *****!!!!!

She comes back in summer that year - i hadnt spent a day without thinkin about her. She sees me in a car with a girl and contacts.

For two weeks sex till she goes back. A month of late night calls follows when she goes back THEN NOTHING...AGAIN!!!!!! Fell devastated, depressed, heartbroken....... (think shes bangin a guy out there but what do i know)

Then i meet a new girl...all good till ***** comes back and asks how i am..... i boast about new girl, and she wants to meet, i get my balls out and say na thanks...twice she trys, twice i say na... then a few months later i see her driving (havent not stopped thinking about her, i call her, a few texts and we agree to meet.

Meet and have sex and im hooked. im still with the other new girl.

See them both for 3 months, feelin bad cos the new girl is not a playa and didnt deserve it. Old girlf says theres a chance if i drop the new one. I say not till we worked out thru counselling the problems. We go to it, and she demands that i dump the new (i didnt feel anywhere as attracted to the new one)

I dump the new one AND THE VERY NEXT DAY THE OLD ONE DUMPS ME........

I send one text begging, then send one to say thats it-finished. That was 4 months ago....complete NC.

Let this be advice from a 80+ numbers man to all the young DJ's out there - be guarded with playas. And to all you old hands - WTF was her game???????????? BPD? Sorry its so so long, but as u have seen. This is weird...... PLEASE HELP! Just wanna get any bros insight into this madness!!!!![/QUOTE]


I am now on exactly 5 months of no contact, and on a daily basis this woman haunts me. I've had a few 9HBs since, but i still feel shattered - but at least I realize via no contact, that this is not another cycle, and I still feel anger at having been played (what a sting in the tail this woman has)

I am forseeing the time when full healing will take place; Its certainly been a cold, hard, lonely journey. Harder now that I am older and wings are tied up. Starting to rebuild social life. Feel that the worst of the depression is over. Only thing is, I worry about seeing her.....I live in the same town, and shes probably had either 1-10 guys by now....... If anybodys got any wise words, bring them on......... Apologies for long post. Tony

 

[staystrong]

i have some wise words i think....

*****es be crazy.

also, if you dont think 5 months of no contact is an accomplishment, your delusional. Do you know how inspiring it is for me and other young nice guys who got played to see someone go through 3 years of what sounds like emotional hell AND have the balls to go NC for 5 months.

DUDE, that is keeping me going right now, you have no idea.

and if you see her do what i have been thinking, cuz i ask that same question. NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS, just say," i dont care anymore, i deserve to be treated with respect, and dont have the time to put up with your games anymore, you had your chance. idk if she begs and cries.

ur NC is a flucking inspiration to me man, you have no idea.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

i have some wise words i think....

*****es be crazy.

also, if you dont think 5 months of no contact is an accomplishment, your delusional. Do you know how inspiring it is for me and other young nice guys who got played to see someone go through 3 years of what sounds like emotional hell AND have the balls to go NC for 5 months.

DUDE, that is keeping me going right now, you have no idea.

and if you see her do what i have been thinking, cuz i ask that same question. NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS, just say," i dont care anymore, i deserve to be treated with respect, and dont have the time to put up with your games anymore, you had your chance. idk if she begs and cries.

ur NC is a flucking inspiration to me man, you have no idea.

Dated my ex for over a year. We got along great for the most part but she had some serious issues though. Finally I'd had enough. I said goodbye. Took off. No seeing her. No calls. No Texts. NADA. Eventually heard through my dad she got married and had a kid. I thought: "Thank sweet baby Jesus it wasn't to or with me."

Also went full no contact for life with 'friends' of the past. Too much nonsense and got tired of it. Went complete ghost on them.

You never know what better person life has in store for you if you stay stuck in and or dwell on a destructive loop of the past. Learn from this mistake of a chick and grow from the experience. Take peoples words with a grain of salt and judge by actions. Period.

You only live ONCE. Make it count.

 

[staystrong]

Day 8: cant really sleep at night. i work 13 hour days to keep busy. talk to girls. went out the other night. But i jsut feel more and more numb inside. It's like someone died, and no matter how hard i tried, somebody still died.

My freinds say she will beg me back once she realizes im a great guy compared to her ******* freinds. I dont have hope to get back together. Im expedcting the tears, i love you speech. i got one thing to say even though i wish i didn't have to. " you made your choice".....

 

[staystrong]

Day 9: All this bulhsit made me strong!!! tonight is going out night. Single ladies. here i come

 

[staystrong]

day 9 night: i went to the bar, didn;t really talk to any girls. I think im done and then the next minute Im took over by memories and i cant take it anymore. I want to unblock her so i can get texts all the time even if i ignore them, at least i know she actually cared., but i wont. i made a promise of 60 days. staystrong is my name because I can make other people stay strong, but i cant make my self stay strong.

 

[Hexagram]

Staystrong -I understand what you're going through. I was with my ex for 8 years before she turned cold on me. She started playing games and be disrespectful. We would still have sex, but she would stay very noncommital. And this was all after a long 8 years.
She emotionally fvked with me so much that I couldnt take it anymore and decided that I had to draw the line. I met up with her and told her we were done, and that I need to cut off all contact for as long as it takes. This really shook her up and she would call me hysterically, but I kept reminding myself of all the sh1t she put me through, the sleepless nights, the bad days at work.
I stayed NC for three full months. She calls me out of the blue one day and begs me to meet her. This was my only lapse in the NC process - I was naive enough to think that I was 'over' it and it would be cool to do so, but guess what - it wasnt. I regretted meeting her as it set back my recovery, while it gave her an ego boost. Trust me - you do NOT want to break NC.
I have stayed strong and continued NC after - its been more 3 months since then - Shes tried contacting me, asking me stupid questions,asking me why Im not responding. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.
I am MUCH better now-sleep like a baby, gained 11 pounds(mostly muscle),talking to other women. The memories do creep up in my mind once in a while, but theres not much you can do about that. Just keep busy and avoid ALL contact. Talking to her is like picking on an open scab.

You have a long road ahead of you brother - But trust me, you will get there.

 

[Hexagram]

Staystrong -I understand what you're going through. I was with my ex for 8 years before she turned cold on me. She started playing games and be disrespectful. We would still have sex, but she would stay very noncommital. And this was all after a long 8 years.
She emotionally fvked with me so much that I couldnt take it anymore and decided that I had to draw the line. I met up with her and told her we were done, and that I need to cut off all contact for as long as it takes. This really shook her up and she would call me hysterically, but I kept reminding myself of all the sh1t she put me through, the sleepless nights, the bad days at work.
I stayed NC for three full months. She calls me out of the blue one day and begs me to meet her. This was my only lapse in the NC process - I was naive enough to think that I was 'over' it and it would be cool to do so, but guess what - it wasnt. I regretted meeting her as it set back my recovery, while it gave her an ego boost. Trust me - you do NOT want to break NC.
I have stayed strong and continued NC after - its been more 3 months since then - Shes tried contacting me, asking me stupid questions,asking me why Im not responding. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.
I am MUCH better now-sleep like a baby, gained 11 pounds(mostly muscle),talking to other women. The memories do creep up in my mind once in a while, but theres not much you can do about that. Just keep busy and avoid ALL contact. Talking to her is like picking on an open scab.

You have a long road ahead of you brother - But trust me, you will get there.

 

[staystrong]

wow. i almost called her last night and this morning, then i read this. its so hard to do. Ur righ hex, but i dont know how to stop this mind games from myself...

 

[staystrong]

wow. i almost called her last night and this morning, then i read this. its so hard to do. Ur righ hex, but i dont know how to stop this mind games from myself...

 

[Juan Don]

I regretted meeting her as it set back my recovery, while it gave her an ego boost. Trust me - you do NOT want to break NC.
I have stayed strong and continued NC after - its been more 3 months since then - Shes tried contacting me, asking me stupid questions,asking me why Im not responding. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

sounds like my situation. and that's all it really is when they contact you is to give themselves an ego boost or feel less guilty of the whole situation. all the while you're trying to heal but after you talk with them it seems you start from day 1 NC all over again.

hexagram said it. ignore at all costs. you don't owe them anything! they don't deserve to talk with you. your health, self respect is most important. it's been almost 3 months since my 2nd no contact with my ex of 2 years(first no contact was several months as well). she tried contacting me several times but i ignored it. i don't want to hear she found someone new or what she's up to. she's no longer part of my life. i can honestly say i am happy without her. if you break no contact you will go through that process of healing all over again. been there done that.

 

[Juan Don]

wow. i almost called her last night and this morning, then i read this. its so hard to do. Ur righ hex, but i dont know how to stop this mind games from myself...

-go out with friends
-talk about it with a close friend of yours. if they are a good friend they'd listen
-it will take time. trust me i wanted to contact her so many times before but as time goes by that you don't see her, talk with her, hear from her frequently as you used to those mind games will slowly disappear. i'm talking from my own experience

hang in there you got this! and if she calls don't answer!!!!!

 

[staystrong]

Day 10: just trying to move on.

 

[staystrong]

I already a week ago blocked her number, sykpe, facebook, and email. she cant call, i took that privelage away.

 

[Juan Don]

I already a week ago blocked her number, sykpe, facebook, and email. she cant call, i took that privelage away.

:rockon: keep doing what you're doing.