The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Robert28]

Day 10: A buddy of mine helped draft an email to her that I have not sent, in preparation for at least ending things on a positive note rather than a fight in case she doesn't reach out.

I miss her, but at the same time I'm pursuing other women now and also slowly starting to realize that she's unstable and not good for me. I have a lot to offer and she doesn't deserve me. I loved her southern belle ways, her voice. But her instability and irresponsible behavior in our relationship was an exact mirror of her chaotic life (4 divorces, 3 kids who her parents take care of as she moves from one relationship to another around the country, no drivers license, no job, no money, no education, no career).

As much as I sometimes want to talk to her, she was a bit of a hypocrite. She did the same things she said her ex did to her and that she hated and left over.

What I’ve learned is when a girl tells you how bad her ex treated her, she’s basically giving you a road map how she wants to be treated. Took me forever to figure this out because it doesn’t make sense because there’s no logic to it. It’s how she knows “love” though. Some girls will never understand what “normal healthy love” is and the more you try to force it on them the worse they’ll get and push it away. If all they know is drama and toxic relationships then that’s what they will respond to.

I dated a girl with severe anxiety once. You’d think the thing to do was what you see online when you research it “be patient with her, never yell, help her seek help, etc”. Nope. She admitted her ex would laugh at her about it and even she claimed her mom laughed at her about it. The weird thing? She was madly in love with the ex and they were engaged, and she has a close relationship with her mom. Yet they both laughed at her anxiety and you would think the thing to do as the new boyfriend was be patient and understanding with her about it, nope.

 

[DreamAgain]

Just wanted to check in here to share my success story. I went no contact very begrudgingly with a BPD who was driving me slowly down the path of my own self destruction. I felt like I might seriously hurt myself if I continued down that road, she had a weird power over me that no other girl had, I felt my life spiraling out of control.

No contact was agonizing, I broke it several times, but one day I just looked at myself in the mirror, unable to recognize the person who I was looking at, and told myself no more. I cut her off for good, made a vow I will never go back to her even if she begged me and apologized profously for everything she's ever done. I would never look back.

I'm writing this today in a complete 180 position, and a lot of the credit goes to unwavering no contact. I no longer think about her, she is but a distant memory that sometimes crosses my mind, but one which I no longer have a response to. I feel like a new man, like I went to hell and back.

No contact truly works, I am so grateful I stumbled upon this thread and discovered the true path I needed to take.

Good luck gentleman, there will be bumps and pitfalls along the way, but allow time to heal your wounds, work on self improvement each day, and you'll get through this. If I could, and I was at rock bottom, I'm certain all you guys who are a lot stronger than me can as well!

Cheers boys.

 

[nmartinez12443]

I'm 36 shes 23, we dated for 8 months, wife material. One day out of no where she says when shes sees other couples together they seem happy and she just doesn't feel that way. Left her apartment and she begged me to come back and stay one night. Next day Saturday, she texts me at 430 am and asks if we can cuddle. Go over have sex with her twice. Left next day NC on Monday. Today she sends this.

Britney: So you're going to be cold and ignore me now?
Me: I was on a hike and then a boat party, i didn't bring my phone just used my watch (gear s3)
Britney: Okay sorry to bother you
Britney: I just wanted to see you.

I do want to get back together with her, thoughts?

 

[daproest1]

NC since 07APR2019.

I was chasing my ex-wife everyday since 28FEB2019. I finally gave up after her giving me the run around and ended the email with telling her not to contact me for any reason and I would do the same.

At exactly 1 month of NC (Cinco De Mayo), she sends me an email at 1030pm asking for forgiveness and apologizing (mind you, I already stated that I wanted no contact from her).

I haven't responded nor do I ever intend to.

NC is the best way to move forward with your life.

Lucky bastard. Wish I could say the same for my situation.

 

[Firestar786]

Day 2
Completely over
Move on with life
Knew we were going to separate sooner or later as she has some severe psychological issues.
Life since the beginning of this year was not good and I often felt run down and unhappy with her.
Incredibly possessive, angry and jealous woman.

Let bygones be bygones and roll on 60 days to start a new chapter in my life.

 

[xplt]

NC works when you want to move on with your life. In my experience, an ex-gf will move on too when you cut contact for so long because she thinks you dont care. If you want her back truly, NC will do more harm than good with healthy women. Cutting contact for few days after breakup is enough to let her cool down when she's in love with you. My ex complained after our breakup because i didnt contact her right away - i waited only four days. After a short time like this, the connection is still strong and it will be much easier.

 

[powersize]

xplt,


NC works when you want to move on with your life. NC is for you to move on. Period.In my experience, an ex-gf will move on too when you cut contact for so long because she thinks you dont care. If you want her back truly, NC will do more harm than good with healthy women. so then she could reach out, correct? Nothing stopping her. Cutting contact for few days after breakup is enough to let her cool down when she's in love with you. Good, then she can reach out My ex complained after our breakup because i didnt contact her right away - i waited only four days. Why didn't she contact you? After a short time like this, the connection is still strong and it will be much easier. True . 50% of the onus is on her to reach out.

Sometimes they are too proud or never had such a strong interest in you to contact later on. My ex dumped me and when i walked away she said "Wait, I dont wanna lose a contact with you". After couple of weeks I was strong enough to delete her everywhere. Since there I have never heard from her. Every time when I bump into her I just simply ignore her.

 

[powersize]

I guess the relationship wasn't important enough to her.

Yeah mate. But after all I consider that experience as the best lesson about dealing with girls I have ever had in my whole fking life


Literally the stuff i learned here and there changed my whole principles in which I believed since i remember myself.

 

[Firestar786]

day 12 (nearly 2 weeks)

cant believe its been nearly 2 weeks without my wife.
was feeling a bit sh1t until i read my earlier message and thought wow its actually been nearly 2 weeks.
my dad came to see me today, that cheered me up a bit and i said i would see him on sunday which is fathers day

but i suppose another 6 weeks to go.

lets all be strong brothers in these difficult times

 

[Robert28]

I’d been officially broken up since March 12 but I have a confession. I’ve been sneaking around seeing her since then off and on. I’d try to go no contact and she’d reach out. We’d hangout and have the best time and we’re getting along awesome, I thought maybe we’d get back together. Stupid I know but this girl was addictive! Never been like this over a broad before. It got to where we would argue a lot the last few weeks, stupid ****. It was like a pattern. We’d hangout and have fun, she’d start a fight a few days after. We’d smooth it over in a couple days and hangout again. Then she said “you know all we are ever going to be is friends right?”. That was a gut punch. I told her to never contact me again three days ago and I doubt she will even though she always did before. I had never used those words to her but I am sure it caught her off guard and she knows I’m serious.

Sucks cause I really am gonna miss the times I had with her when things were normal. I broke a lot of rules for her and I paid the price for it.

 

[Robert28]

You learned a hard lesson.

A very hard lesson. I don’t know why I thought I could cheat against the rules. I was like a drug addict, she was my fix. The sad thing is if she came back today I would take her back. I don’t know why.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

we fuucked multiple times a day for over a year after she moved in. i slowly neglected more and more of my personal life to simply fuuck her and help her improve her life. eventually i started showing signs of self doubt and becoming soft. rather than return the favor and show support she began to doubt me as well(looking back i see this is not her fault but entirely mine for expecting so much from her). she began to test, break promises, until i couldn't trust her. i became possessive, jealous, and resentful. i attempted to talk her into treating me better but i was already broken and weak, it only came off as needy and beta as fuuck because i didn't stand my ground like i used to. i neglected myself for so many months that i was pathetic. when i caught myself and started working on myself for a week i decided to end it with her, but dear god i should have just focused on myself and not cared, i wasn't ready for the games she'd pull and how it would affect me. it became a power struggle and i would eventually always cave and act like a cuck. i called her out on dates and validated her like crazy even though i was burning up inside seeing the marks left on her by others(i was still fuucking her). i began to play stupid womanly games of putting up pictures on social media just to get her jealous. she blocked me on everything for months. after 6 months she reached out and having read material(not enough obviously) i invited her over but still reverted to a cuck when she came over. i wasn't listening to my gut when it told me to just focus on healing, instead she came and i was hurt by her words(because i got way too attached), i caved and fuucked her like a cuck. it wasn't enjoyable at all. i'm feeling stronger and better now after a few months NC, but man i get urges to reach out sometimes. recently to prove to her that i'm not some punk biitch, that i can still fuuck her brains out and have the fun kinky sex with her that we used to.

but that's me bull****tting myself. i only want to reach out to fuuck her brains out because i care about what she thinks(only a little at this point). it's partially for the good sex but also partially caring. i won't reach out because i know that when i'm completely healed i will not give two shiits about what she thinks of me. i have sabotaged myself with LTR after LTR for over 12 years. noticing the stunted growth is horrifying, but just the wake up call i need. better now than never. i'm grateful for the lesson and believe it or not this is the best break up recovery i've had.

 

[Firestar786]

3 weeks
I think it’s sunk in that this is the new me. I.e a divorcee.

Pretty difficult pill to swallow but I suppose a relationship is a two person dance.

 

[Firestar786]

This Saturday it would have been a month.
What a massive milestone.
She did try to call me on the weekend(unsure why) however I couldn’t answer as I was doing DIY.

I think the new reality has sunk in now, and I have accepted that for the time being there will be no new lady love as such.

An old flame called me yesterday which was interesting, as she is always entertaining.

Roll on 60 days where I suppose I won’t give a crap and presumably neither will my ex.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

Screw this shiete challenge and it's all blue pilled as fuuck!

You should NEVER get back to your Ex or try to get her back. It's reason why it failed. She was never yours to begin with, it was just your time and now it some else guys time. Why the fark do you think she monkey branched you and cheated?

Wake the fark up and start spinning the plates!
That is what women always do even when they are with and say to you "I love you",(which is by the way where you always should add the words "Right now" after that sentence). They are always spinning the plates because women's hybergamy nature will not allow them to stop from doing that. They will always try to find a better deal, (meaning better guy than you from a woman's perspective nature) and dump the badder one. Women loves you for what you do to them, not for who you are because their love is only opportunistically. They can never love you the way you want them to love you.

The best way to do this is like you when when you fall of a bike or something that put you in a bad spot, like for example; you have an accident with your motorcycle, skydive (whatever) and it suddenly scares the living sheite out of you. So what do you do? You get right back on it as fast as you can and face your fears.

In others words; the best way to get over your ex is to go out right back to the game and find a hot chick (or more same night is even better) and screw her hard and if that isn't enough then do it again and again and before you know it you will not give a flying fark about that biaatch of an ex.

I done this many times and it always works, great remedy too if you get caught by the ONEITS flu and it always works flawlessly.

So that's it guys. Now get on with it!

 

[soulforge]

Well I am 1 week into NC

The last time she was over at mine, was last weekend, and we didn't talk much.. She seemed quieter than usual, not talking much at all.

I even said to her, if you come over to my house, don't you think you should convers a little, seems kind of rude not to.

Don't think she liked me calling her out on that..

Anyhow the next morning I dumped her.

Firstly because of her chitty attitude the night before.

But more importantly because of her background in nude dancing, maybe even porn and her pornographer freind still being in the picture.

Also she uses cocaine.

I just had to drop her, before I got in too deep.

I developed feelings for her.. But I knew if I carried on seeing her, it would go very wrong.

I just did not trust her one bit.

I don't understand why I feel like a junkie coming of a drug.

The sex was amazing and she was the hottest azz I had.

 

[Firestar786]

6 weeks.

Two weeks away from the magical 8 weeks.

I have not thought about her for a significant period of time.

It obviously sad the relationship has completely broken down but I suppose somethings come to an end.

My life looks very bright in other regards, and I’m generally content with where I am right now.

I do not trust women at all and after this will probably go all MGTOW. Women just for sex.

 

[Firestar786]

Interestingly I have hit the 2 month 60 day mark
This is with my ex calling etc
I feel quite cool.

I think there is actually something magical about the 60 day mark you just stop giving a feck and everything just resets !

 

[Casillas]

Day 1/60. Don't feeling me lately... It's time to move on.

 

[dude99]

I was 31 days no contact until she reached out and convinced me to go out for a meal. Despite being a regular reader on this site: I said yes...
It transpires that she just wanted to LJBF me. What a **** move. Feeling like a right idiot.

Starting over... DAY 1.

At 31 days she was wondering if she made a mistake in breaking up with you. She wondered if she could still have you. She wondered if you were still on the hook. She had doubt. She was in the dark.

When they reach out after 30 or 60 days what they are doing is always for themselves. Never for you. She was looking for validation. She was looking for an ego boost. She was in the dark. You should have left her there. This is why we say ignore and delete. You do not give her anything. No answer. No text. No email. No social media. No phone call. Nothing.

Agreeing to go out gave her the ego boost her ego needed, gave her the validation she wanted, and it left you high and dry.

Next time she reaches out even if it is begging you, ignore her. Keep ignoring her. If it has been another 30 days or 60 days or 90 days and you fail to ignore her you make sure if you slip up and answer her that YOU ARE TOO BUSY and no matter what give her zero information. Ie:

Her -" long time no hear How are you doing?"
You - " been crazy busy."
Her - "we should catch up, you have time to go to dinner?"
You - " actually my schedule is jammed. "
Her - "you seeing anyone?"
>>This is right her what i mean by give her nothing<<
You - " actually that is a discussion for another time. Good to hear from you but i got to go."

Click.

Then go back to 100% ignore mode.