The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[mrgoodstuff]

Not yet. Have some prospects, got a HB8 number a few days ago, and am making inroads with a few at the gym. Kind of quasi-monk right now, though.

Get some puzzy that doesn't require you to degrade yourself.

 

[Carpathian]

Rejection, especially when it is unexpected, hurts. Hugely. The upset is physically painful. Got the T-shirt dudes.
This thread is about some things you can do to prevent not getting rejected in the first place. And as long as you are not a dikkhead most of those revolve around not making HER the center of your life. Important role in your life yes, but not the center. Needy, chasing, pleasing, overly-generous behavior and you are on the way to being dumped. As sure as the pope believes in god. Men in the past never used to behave like this. They simply would not have had the time.
The other part of the thread is about what do you do when you are dumped. In every case in this long, long thread that has been going for years now, NC is the only way to go. YOU ARE NOT ANY DIFFERENT. Your circumstances are not unique. ANY contact you keep just prolongs the pain and feelings for her and hope that it will change. Don't kid yourself. You simply have to NC her and block her from everything. Join a different gym or club. Just get her out of your system. If in two years she makes contact with you unexpectedly and begs and pleads then let her.

 

[RedScorpion]

Well, I'm wondering if this feeling will last, but I don't think I need the NC challenge anymore. I sure hope this feeling sticks. It's been a slow realization - I've been treating her as an equal, with adult level thinking, emotions, all that jazz... since I thought she was (age wise she is) Nope. I've been dealing with a child, who might as well be 16 in maturity. Should have realized when she still lived at home, living under her mom's dime. A ton of other things that indicate towards immaturity. And there's much more I won't write... she's a weirdo, essentially. Oh boy.

I've cut communications with her, with no idea if she'll get in touch. I'm debating between ignore, respond politely, or just laugh in her face. Really tempted on the third one after this revelation. Perhaps best if she doesn't try after all.

 

[Carpathian]

Well, I'm wondering if this feeling will last, but I don't think I need the NC challenge anymore. I sure hope this feeling sticks. It's been a slow realization - I've been treating her as an equal, with adult level thinking, emotions, all that jazz... since I thought she was (age wise she is) Nope. I've been dealing with a child, who might as well be 16 in maturity. Should have realized when she still lived at home, living under her mom's dime. A ton of other things that indicate towards immaturity. And there's much more I won't write... she's a weirdo, essentially. Oh boy.

I've cut communications with her, with no idea if she'll get in touch. I'm debating between ignore, respond politely, or just laugh in her face. Really tempted on the third one after this revelation. Perhaps best if she doesn't try after all.

Ignore any form of texts/FB chat/phone calls/skype/IM etc. If you see her in the street by all means say hello but continue onward and do not engage in small talk with her. Don't laugh at her, makes you look a dikkhead and if you are using bluster as a disguise to conceal you're not over it.
I am well over my my ex that made me join this thread 16 months ago and have been with another woman, an HB8, for 12 months. I pop in and out of the thread to help others with my contributions if I can.

 

[RedScorpion]

Ignore any form of texts/FB chat/phone calls/skype/IM etc. If you see her in the street by all means say hello but continue onward and do not engage in small talk with her. Don't laugh at her, makes you look a dikkhead and if you are using bluster as a disguise to conceal you're not over it.
I am well over my my ex that made me join this thread 16 months ago and have been with another woman, an HB8, for 12 months. I pop in and out of the thread to help others with my contributions if I can.

Thanks. Yeah, I had rationalized (later on) ignoring would probably be the best go, and I'm glad to hear getting advice towards the same reaction (or non-reaction in this case). Now that I'm settled down - It's true, I'm not quite over it still. It feels more finished, and the anguish is suppressed now compared to what it was... still, the ending of something. Friendship was getting out of the question too, if only for normal reasons. The self-obsession on the girl was a bit out of control on social media. Could be just reactions towards me I could reason, since it definitely increased dramatically at a certain point, but regardless. I cut her off just after that point, just ghost. No explanation or final talk, anything.

I'll stick with the NC challenge, just in case. Day 18.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Day 23 of NC. It's easy now.

Many new prospects in the hopper. New starting rotation is starting to take shape. #1 starter could be a HB8+ mommy of two young girls, maybe early 30's. Very high IL right now. Plus, mom's generally don't play any or nearly the BS/NPD/BPD/BiPD games 98% most women her age and younger do, so I've found.

 

[Carpathian]

Day 23 of NC. It's easy now.

Many new prospects in the hopper. New starting rotation is starting to take shape. #1 starter could be a HB8+ mommy of two young girls, maybe early 30's. Very high IL right now. Plus, mom's generally don't play any or nearly the BS/NPD/BPD/BiPD games 98% most women her age and younger do, so I've found.

Yes they do. Rest assured. Some of them have a ridiculous, indeed disgusting, sense of entitlement.

 

[John Constantine]

Day 2

Emailed her 2 days ago when I was drunk asking her to come over to my place to fvck... Stupid beta move.. She replied with '' you're drunk '' I replied the next day with '' Let's see each other 2 hours before my shift and have fun ( Sex ) '' She told me to stop harrassing her.. I feel so weak, this is some real loser ****.. I can't control myself when I love someone.. It's ****ed up.. Well this time I'm not gonna write to her again, my pride has suffer too much. Time to rebuild the confidence and move on !

 

[Dash Riprock]

Yes they do. Rest assured. Some of them have a ridiculous, indeed disgusting, sense of entitlement.

Immature ones maybe. MOST aren't that way. There are trailer trash moms and good moms. I choose the later.

 

[Carpathian]

Immature ones maybe. MOST aren't that way. There are trailer trash moms and good moms. I choose the later.

Reread what I said. I said *some* of them.

 

[attic]

Enjoy the challenge guys. This is your opportunity.

It's not about the girl/s. It's about you. Sack up, improve your lives, your health, your finances.

NC isn't the cure, the cure is your new state of mind. NC *WILL* help you get there.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Day 6.
Seriously, **** BPD women. I broke NC again 6 days ago. I know what BPD girls are. They are f***g mermaids. They are the morden version of mermaids. They are beautiful, they will give you everything you want, they will give you by far the best sex ever. And they, they will feed on your soul until you die. It's completly crazy.

So i contacted her (because I'm stupid) saying that I think she may be borderline and maybe she could check that with her therapist. She went bat**** crazy saying that she already verified that with her therapist and that while I may think that she has traits cause "she does or did things that could look like that" she is not borderline at all.
LOL. Yeah right.
The girl had bulimia 5 years ago, tried to kill herself at age 15, mutilated her arms, destroyed her stuffed animals when she was a child, does splitting, hate her parents, has no friends, says all her ex boyfriend and ex girlfriends are demons, is always the victim, has 0 self-esteem, was stalking my facebook and computer constantly, has uncontrollable anger sometimes, can become crazy and violent, but I'm THE WORST PERVERT NARCISSIC OF THE ENTIRE WORLD. And I have 100% of the responsability for this relationship's failure.

F** her. I admit it, I have a lot of narcissists traits. But I'm not a demon. And if on top of me 2 of her ex thinks she is borderline, well she must be.

She is sick, she won't ever admit it. And I'm the worst person ever. It's wrong, it's all so wrong.

F** bpd girls. Stay away at all cost. They are real mermaids.

Would she call me , I would run back to her. It's horrible. I hate the feeling.


Oh. And i saw her on Tinder today. With the mention on her profile "Not looking for something serious right now, just fun"
Ah f** you *****.

I have a tinder date next week with a hot chick..


Day 6..

I think we dated the same girl. Seriously. Your description sounds EXACTLY like the chick I broke up with about a month ago. Total BPD, but hot as hell.

Day 25.

 

[Rxnxg]

I'm back to post here again, I don't even know how many days passed since I started NC, to be honest I stopped counting and that's the best thing to do, I think about my ex sometimes but I don't give a f*** and she got a big dosses of karma. Best thing you can all do is go out, live life, improve yourself and stop feeling like **** just cause you got dumped by person, 1 between billions. Life keeps going with or without that person and you have to be the best version of yourself !

Day 60 or more probably.

 

[DreamAgain]

Day 1 starting today.

Finally cutting this poison out of my life for good, she pushed and pulled me to hell, driving me crazy...when I realized she was just using me for favors and for the help I was providing her for various things (work, university projects, etc.)

This b1tch was nothing but a user and manipulator...I did love her at one point, but she has left me hardened and I can never trust her again.

Going out tonight to hopefully get a number or two and regain the confidence I had before this poison inflicted me. Stay strong brothers.

 

[John Constantine]

day 4
Still thinking about her everyday, every hour.. It's hard.. On top of that I've just dump my only plate because I started to get feelings for her and she was showing similar traits with my ex.. It's focking hard

 

[RedScorpion]

Day 20 NC. Trust me, it does get better. But you will go through ups and downs. And you must remember that what you are feeling is normal and human - do not berate yourself for feeling down or messed up about it. You're basically grieving the loss of the person you knew - and you must resist what you 'feel' you need to do. Typically, that involves reaching out, begging, whining, pleading... etc. Trying to salvage even a shred of that feeling you once had before. All negative actions, and things that will damage both your self-esteem and her perception of you as a strong person. That can be used both as an action to 'get her back' (note: do not give yourself hope for this, but sometimes can't be helped), and for shoving it in her face a little, as a loss for her.

They will return to being a normal human for you. And you will be fine. Myself, my morale is still down a bit, but getting better everyday. And starting to feel good about keeping NC, both for myself and what I described above. It comes in waves, but the waves do taper off.

If you have any doubts, and moments of struggles - I fully recommend reading this thread from top to bottom. Page 162 with Lotus Effect is good. Reading other people's stories, finding similarities, and what they did or didn't do - you'll find the answer. Rooted in cold hard reality, and experiences to burn in you that this is in all probability the right course and action to take.

When you are in pain - read, read, read, to affirm to yourself what should be done. Complain on here if you need to. Also, enforcing yourself to not think of her (whenever she pops up) is a good tool as well for recovery.

 

[John Constantine]

Day 20 NC. Trust me, it does get better. But you will go through ups and downs. And you must remember that what you are feeling is normal and human - do not berate yourself for feeling down or messed up about it. You're basically grieving the loss of the person you knew - and you must resist what you 'feel' you need to do. Typically, that involves reaching out, begging, whining, pleading... etc. Trying to salvage even a shred of that feeling you once had before. All negative actions, and things that will damage both your self-esteem and her perception of you as a strong person. That can be used both as an action to 'get her back' (note: do not give yourself hope for this, but sometimes can't be helped), and for shoving it in her face a little, as a loss for her.

They will return to being a normal human for you. And you will be fine. Myself, my morale is still down a bit, but getting better everyday. And starting to feel good about keeping NC, both for myself and what I described above. It comes in waves, but the waves do taper off.

If you have any doubts, and moments of struggles - I fully recommend reading this thread from top to bottom. Page 162 with Lotus Effect is good. Reading other people's stories, finding similarities, and what they did or didn't do - you'll find the answer. Rooted in cold hard reality, and experiences to burn in you that this is in all probability the right course and action to take.

When you are in pain - read, read, read, to affirm to yourself what should be done. Complain on here if you need to. Also, enforcing yourself to not think of her (whenever she pops up) is a good tool as well for recovery.

Thanks man, needed this

 

[RedScorpion]

NC 22 I believe. I'd like to describe a feeling I had yesterday. I was filled with anger and disdain for this girl, probably one of the more intense days yet. Seemed sudden for no reason. Anger about her actions, how she put zero effort in for getting in touch. Feeling more of a reality that this was the end. Later on, there was sadness and regret too - just felt entirely agitated. I was out and about, doing things with friends all day (small road trip) - having fun, talking, seeing things. And yet part of me was focused on this.

I think now today, it was a breaking point in acceptance. Accepting that it is truly done. Even just for myself, to firmly 'feel' that I will not go back. I know I will never break NC on my part (at least without some sincere, persistent effort from her - that simply won't happen). But it feels more... that I'm not fighting myself as much. That more of myself is ready to push on. Definitely not healed yet - but it's steps forward.

So forewarning to everyone going through this. You may have surges of pained days, seemingly out of nowhere. But breakthrough it, and keep going.

 

[John Constantine]

Day 6

I'm starting to accept that she's gone and reading a lot about the red pill. All of these evil emotional monkey branching creature are disgusting me to the point where I just want to **** em and dump them but the problem is that me emotions dont work like that.. I'm craving for love and I'm falling for every girl that fits my standards, Very low for their comportment behavior but quite high physically and this **** is stopping me from taking the red pill.. I'm working on it, small improvement as I still think about my ex but I now know that I can get a much better girl.. Had a date today but she's ghosting me since we confirmed yesterday.. Stupid ho... I'm getting more confident, I bought a new car, new shoes, new clothes, going to the gym 6 days a week like I was before my relationship, tanning, etc I'm improving myself but it's stupid how it feel useless when you're in the post breakup process

I need motivation from you bro's

 

[Dixie]

Older guy here (54). I'm sure its on here somewhere but there are lots of pages.
Take it from experience, there isn't a 60 day challenge.
If your girlfriend dumps you, you simply ask her nicely not to contact you again and then NEVER EVER contact her again for ANY reason.
No calls, no texts, no social media - Delete everything.
Do not respond to her again NEVER EVER for ANY reason.
Women get one chance. If they blow it they regret it. Under no circumstances, no matter how bad it feels at the time you are Steve McQueen/James Bond and John Wayne all rolled into one.
Its like you are dead to them and they are dead to you.

Then you get back on the horse, ride into town and get a new woman - A better one!
Women with integrity do not go behind your back. They communicate that they are unhappy and ask you to work it out with them. Then its up to you.
A monkey is going to swing. Would you **** a monkey?