The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[ZTIME]

Day 13. Still have that feeling of loss and that horrid stomach emptiness, but I've been strong. Even with her post on face book of how she is madly in love with her new rebound guy.

But through it all so far, I've been able to lose quite a bit of respect for her as she moves those three children into some guys house that she barely knows. I'm gaining back the respect I once had for myself and getting stronger everyday.

It's funny how much you can let people drain you of all of the good feelings you had about yourself over a period of time. But we learn and by learning we get stronger.

Just my thoughts for today!!

 

[Shaka]

Day 13. Still have that feeling of loss and that horrid stomach emptiness, but I've been strong. Even with her post on face book of how she is madly in love with her new rebound guy.

But through it all so far, I've been able to lose quite a bit of respect for her as she moves those three children into some guys house that she barely knows. I'm gaining back the respect I once had for myself and getting stronger everyday.

It's funny how much you can let people drain you of all of the good feelings you had about yourself over a period of time. But we learn and by learning we get stronger.

Just my thoughts for today!!

Delete her from all social media right now
Nothing's good will come from stalking her on those.
Delete all the means of information flux between you and her.

 

[mkj1990]

Been a while since I've written anything on here, but today I feel like venting my feelings

So it is nearly a year since my ex broke it off with me. Long story short: went NC and eventually she came crawling back. I rejected her on multiple occasions with within the space of four-five months. It's been a slow process, especially since I've not been able to rebound with other women. During the summer I feel that I made huge improvements and taken a long step towards being completely over her.

But a few days ago I saw my ex again, with another guy - Clearly in a relationship. (he's known for being a real d*ckhead around town). It felt like a HUGE setback!

I'm positive that I don't want my ex back (if that was the case I would have taken her back when I had the chance). But it's just that feeling of hopelessness that hit me like a brick to the head. Here she is, happy with another guy, while I've been struggeling with girls pretty much all of my life and not making a rapid progress.

I've been talking to a couple of girls over the last couple of weeks, but think I've been friendzoned big-time by both of them, so I feel like I'm back where I was one year ago when she broke up with me. While she on the other hand has moved on just fine eventually.

So I wrote this a couple of weeks ago.

Haha, and tonight the weirdest fu*king **** just happened.

My ex sent me a text, asking if I wanted to hang out next week.
My reply was something in the lines of: "Not sure where you're going with this. Just want to take a coffee to catch up, or something else? If your asking for a date or another chance I can save you a lot of time and trouble by saying it's not going to happen. Besides I'm pretty busy right now."
Her: "Hehe. Relax. I'm actually in a relationship right now, and not looking for another boyfriend. (which I already knew) But I just miss talking to you."
Me: Oh, I see. Congratulations. Well, still not sure about this. Might let you know if I have time. Who's the lucky one btw? (I already knew, just asking because it seemed natural)"
Her: "Hehe, you can ponder on that. Pretty fresh relationship so hasn't told that many people yet. I think you might know him."
Me: "Oh I see. Well, off to bed now. Good night."

I do not Facebook-stalk her at all, but I have noticed on my newsfeed that she posts sh*t on his wall, and he posts sh*t on her wall. At this point I just though this sounded so f*cking weird. "I want to meet you because I miss talking to you. Want you back? No. I have a boyfriend now, but I won't tell you his name." So I go on her facebook page, and notice that the things that has been posted on her wall has been deleted, and they are no longer friends on facebook.

What do you guys think? Weird as f*ck, right? Hahah

 

[Between_The_Lines]

To no one in particular - your exes friends are telling her right now that they "promise you'll come back...eventually...just watch...", as if you were some dumb fish who can't resist returning to the bait, followed by "...and if he doesn't? He's wasn't worth it! Screw him!"

Be the "wasn't worth it" guy. Much more dignity in being 'that guy' than 'the groveler'.

 

[jimmy18]

To no one in particular - your exes friends are telling her right now that they "promise you'll come back...eventually...just watch...", as if you were some dumb fish who can't resist returning to the bait, followed by "...and if he doesn't? He's wasn't worth it! Screw him!"

Be the "wasn't worth it" guy. Much more dignity in being 'that guy' than 'the groveler'.

Indeed.

After a breakup initiated by the girl, you can either:

-keep talking to her, in which case she (and her friends) will consider you a "stalker" but lap up the attention regardless

-stop talking to her, in which case you are an "assh0le" for moving on without continuing to validate her ego

I know which one I'd rather be.

 

[cfdagola]

so i was well on the way of getting over my ex. then my friends dropped the bomb on me that her dude moved from his parents house to her parents house and he took a job closer to where he "lives" now.

I wanted to make sure it was true and texted her about it.

you've been on my mind a lot lately and the thought of me alienating people because i don't agree with their choices struck a cord with me because there are a few people i wish i didn't let my heart cloud my judgement and we were still friends. until i heard the good news of your dude moving in with you and your mom.

she didn't fight it. she more or less said you don't know what its like to lose a best friend. and that's what i'm losing with you. i think about you every day and all night and i started to cry last night because i didn't think you'd ever text me again.

asked her why she is choosing this dude over me who has way more value. all she could say and she isn't wrong in this. was that you never showed me you wanted more than just a drinking buddy. And of course i thought to myself well damn... that IS all we ever did. we never just hung out we always drank and hooked up. in fact I didn't show her any affection UNLESS i was drunk.

told her she was right but if she could feel how i feel then she'd know that wasn't how i saw it.

then she asked why can't you just let me slowly back into your life. I love you as a friend cfdagola. No other guy not even (ex) understands me as you do.

i thought back to when i ruined a 6 year friendship with a girl i grew up with we were awesome. and then i foolishly pushed for a relationship that we both wanted and we broke up and to this day i wish that i hadn't played my cards as i did and we were still close.

So in this instance I made the mental decision to "castrate" myself and just be her friend. because honestly and sosuave may not agree but good people are hard to find. if she wants to mess around on him in the future fine. but it won't be with me. and honestly she is a great time to be with.

so i told her i will try to be friends. if not for the fact that i'm tired of always losing people i care about. and looking back i wish there were certain people i could still be close with.

within moments of me telling her to take it slow with me and only text me if she's bored or if she sees something funny. she's blowing me up! LITERALLY i had 4 text in a matter of 20 minutes. with the last text being.

I really miss you cfdagola, you don't understand i fantasize so much about just wanting to hug you and be next to you. I miss that. i miss being next to you.

I didn't respond because honestly WTF i mean WHAT THE ACTUAL Fu*K. I don't get how she can continue on with these "feelings" while her dude is sleeping away she's texting me late at night! AGAIN. this is how it started last time! its like she's trying to rebuild her "foundation" with me so she can make another attempt at branch swinging!

I want to try and be her friend but i don't wanna seem like a girly bi*ch and say slow it down that's to much. I dunno. Maybe it was a slip emotions run deep and all that... hopefully she doesn't do that again. but if she does i'll make sure to tell her. listen none of that anymore with me. we're just friends.

But its obvious with her continued disrespect of her guy. that she will cheat on him again. its only really a matter of time.

 

[Triple T]

DAY 1 - Oct 17

Well, here goes nothing.

My ex-gf of 8 years broke up with me a week ago. Its been a roller coaster I tell ya. We didn't have a fight or anything, she just doesn't love me anymore.

First day, we agreed to be friends (we are best friends in a way). We cuddled and kissed and hugged that night like we were a couple (she stopped me at sex though). It sounds odd that we did it, but its because I was hoping I could keep her around and she would change her mind. She was probably thinking she doesn't want to lose all of me just yet.

Throughout the week, I am up and down. Some days I think I am okay without her, other days I can't not think about what I could have done to keep her. She texts me here and there like normal, and I respond but slowly start to initiate NC. After 2-3 days of NC she texts me saying its so hard letting go of me and is unsure of her decision (hope for me! :woo: ).

This was a bait though and I fell for it! She got what she wanted (me saying I'll take her back) and now she is back to normal...texting me like we are a couple again.

She's benefiting while I continue to be led on false hope. Well F*CK this SH*T, I need to start my healing. :box: I'm going to do this NC challenge! Only thing is, I'd like to see our dog still but he stays at her place. Not sure how to approach this...but we'll see.

Wish me luck! :rockon:

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Almost 7 months since breakup.

Superficially, I'm at a much better place. I pursue my dreams, I have crazy sex with a nympho girl who can't stop sucking my d!ck (and she's so much better than the ex in every aspect) I even strained my back during sex with her and almost broke my d!ck LOL, I'm in my best physical shape since EVER..
BUT
I can't seem to stop dreaming about the fvcking ex. I dream of her almost every night, tonight was a very odd one:

I was sitting in her room (wtf?), looking through her phone. She had this folder of pictures called "breakup", just before I entered it, she entered the room and caught me.
She was all smiling and surprised "Hey! How you've been?" trying to joke with me and flirt, and then she switched to being cold and distant

It was exactly like the sh!t she pulled when we last talked about 3-4 months ago (she was all flirty and giggly just like when we first met) like nothing happened, like she had no problem to cut contact with me

I hate her so much, I wish we would've never met

What the hell am I waiting for? It feels like I want her to contact me so I could just tell her to f*ck off

 

[Shaka]

Almost 7 months since breakup.

Superficially, I'm at a much better place. I pursue my dreams, I have crazy sex with a nympho girl who can't stop sucking my d!ck (and she's so much better than the ex in every aspect) I even strained my back during sex with her and almost broke my d!ck LOL, I'm in my best physical shape since EVER..
BUT
I can't seem to stop dreaming about the fvcking ex. I dream of her almost every night, tonight was a very odd one:

I was sitting in her room (wtf?), looking through her phone. She had this folder of pictures called "breakup", just before I entered it, she entered the room and caught me.
She was all smiling and surprised "Hey! How you've been?" trying to joke with me and flirt, and then she switched to being cold and distant

It was exactly like the sh!t she pulled when we last talked about 3-4 months ago (she was all flirty and giggly just like when we first met) like nothing happened, like she had no problem to cut contact with me

I hate her so much, I wish we would've never met

What the hell am I waiting for? It feels like I want her to contact me so I could just tell her to f*ck off

Hi Vega,

I think I going through the same thing right now.
I don't know why I still think about her, even If I'm at a very good spot right now (7 months later). It's not some heartaches. It's not painful. But I still catching myself thinking about her, sometimes fantasize some sh1t like she is going to contact me and wanting to come back. fvck this seriously.


I'd like some perspective on it too

 

[cfdagola]

Back to Day 1 no contact.

I literally can't be my ex's friend its not that i don't want to. its just that my heart and my brain are not aligned right now.

i fu*king hate flip flopping on decisions. but with her she makes my heart do crazy things. I thought maybe i could just get over the hump and move past it. but literally that next day i see her supporting her now boyfriend's stupid new gaming website.

the guy works 15 hours at best buy and does gaming websites as a hobby.

where as i am a graphic designer intern for a top university part time making 18/hr while i finish school, working towards big things and big money getting my future set in stone.

I just don't get it. I know why she pushed me away. and i can actually agree with her I never showed affection unless i was drunk and all we did was drink. we never went out. never did a regular date. i screwed up. But how is that worth giving someone a second chance to show they really care?

i'm sitting here at 10 am on a friday morning drinking Jack and Pepsi. thinking wtf am i doing with my life. i have this future paved in gold in front of me and all i keep doing is looking down a somber dusty path wishing i could walk back down it a few more times hoping to relive some moments.

i know she cares about me. she made that obvious but she doesn't care about me in a loving i want to be with you sense.

I stayed up all night thinking about her. then in the times i slept i dreamed about her. this morning i said i can't do this i thought i could but i'm not strong enough just yet. told her maybe in the future we can speak but not right now. told her this wasn't a goodbye forever but a just for now thing. and left it at that. I know she was disappointed, she thought she had her "friend" back. but honestly i was still miles away.

 

[mkj1990]

I have some thoughts, in bold.

Not weird at all once you get a handle on human behavior. To me it seems clear as day. I would have nothing to do with her personally, just tell her you are too busy, and that your GF probably wouldn't like you two meeting. That'll make the heartache she is feeling right now 10x worse. Which...since she dumped YOU...is a GOOD THING!!

Thanks mate.

She's such a manipulating little b*tch. Always has, always will. Playing the boyfriend-card to try to make me jealous. Not buying that ****.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Back to Day 1 no contact.

I literally can't be my ex's friend its not that i don't want to. its just that my heart and my brain are not aligned right now.

i fu*king hate flip flopping on decisions. but with her she makes my heart do crazy things. I thought maybe i could just get over the hump and move past it. but literally that next day i see her supporting her now boyfriend's stupid new gaming website.

the guy works 15 hours at best buy and does gaming websites as a hobby.

where as i am a graphic designer intern for a top university part time making 18/hr while i finish school, working towards big things and big money getting my future set in stone.

I just don't get it. I know why she pushed me away. and i can actually agree with her I never showed affection unless i was drunk and all we did was drink. we never went out. never did a regular date. i screwed up. But how is that worth giving someone a second chance to show they really care?

i'm sitting here at 10 am on a friday morning drinking Jack and Pepsi. thinking wtf am i doing with my life. i have this future paved in gold in front of me and all i keep doing is looking down a somber dusty path wishing i could walk back down it a few more times hoping to relive some moments.

i know she cares about me. she made that obvious but she doesn't care about me in a loving i want to be with you sense.

I stayed up all night thinking about her. then in the times i slept i dreamed about her. this morning i said i can't do this i thought i could but i'm not strong enough just yet. told her maybe in the future we can speak but not right now. told her this wasn't a goodbye forever but a just for now thing. and left it at that. I know she was disappointed, she thought she had her "friend" back. but honestly i was still miles away.

Did she ask to remain friends? If yes, then she either wants to relieve guilt/continue to garner attention from you/see you reeling for the little princess that slipped through your clutches and/or she pities you.

I remember my ex telling me "I've been in this situation before (breaking up), I know how to handle it, but to think of putting you through this kills me". Just how incredibly patronizing that line actually is hit me much later. Hate to invoke another Brad Pitt hypothetical, but let's say an ordinary girl dumped Bratt Pitt (I know, bear with me for a second) - you really think she'd have a drop of pity to be found anywhere in her body for poor little hundreds-of-thousands-of-girls-with-drenched-panties-lined-up-for-me Brad Pitt?

I'd wager that it's quite likely that your ex will go on to hate you (if you go complete NC), but I figure it's far more preferable to end it on that note, to take that as a very likely consequence, than as some seemingly hapless chump, indefinitely relegated to the sidelines, a "nice, sweet little boy", incapable of scoring any @ss unless he settles, pays, or begs for it. Concluding with the famous Churchill quote seems apropos: "You have enemies? Good. That means you stood up for something"

 

[Nis786]

My life is messed up & I am to be blamed!

Day 1- No contact. I will follow this for my own sanity.

I recently had a big fight with my best friend. I met her when i had a break up with my ex-girlfriend couple of years back. She really helped me in coming out of that emotional thing.
We became good friends really fast. At the beginning we both used to care for each other a lot. She used to tell me that his colleague proposed him but she can't accept as religion is different. I used to tell her about my girlfriend.

Then i got engaged with my girlfriend. She was so happy for me. But my fiancée & she don't like each other much.

To be honest i always had infatuation towards her because she is one of the most beautiful girl i ever met & she is a nice person.

I continued caring about her & fulfilled all her wishes,doesn't matter how expensive it was. Her family is very conservative. She hardly got permission to do job. they are lower middle class.

To see smile on her face & for her happiness i did everything possible without blink of an eye. I met with her sisters too,they are like my second family.

but here how things started to change. She invited me to her office & said we will leave for lunch from there itself. I went & we had fun. Some of his colleagues misunderstood me as his boyfriend. She didn't liked it. So when i went again some other day, she asked me to leave from office & shouted on me infront of her colleagues. I know i was wrong in going to her office again but to insult me infront of others was very hurtful for me. anyway i let it go.

The thing is when she get angry,she don't have any control over her tongue. She use any word that comes in her mind that moment.

Then she asked me to call in her sister number because she don't want to give me her new number as she thinks i irritate her & possessive. i found out her number but she blocked me. She use Whatsapp but don't add me. She said i interfere too much & my fiancee will not like if we chat or talk much. that was her excuse anyway.

I told her you are my best friend. i get along well with your sister but she is not my friend. I will talk in your number.

I just never took a stand. She knew i will always return to her no matter how bad she treat me.

Her sister told me she care a lot about me but don't show her emotion to anyone. She don't want to cause problem between me & my fiancee.

I said my fiancee know everything & she is fine. She has her own friend circle too. People with gf have also right to have female best friends.

She gives me lot of time when i visit her city,it's my home town too. but I work in other city.

I just told her that you chat whole night with other friends in your number but you have problem doing that with your best friend.

She said you came to my office,i felt bad & insecure that my colleagues made fun that my boyfriend is possessive & came to check on me. She said you will leave,but i will live in same city,so i don't want to compromise with my respect.

anyway i understood. But yesterday we had a fight because i visited her city & asked for her time to meet to discuss about my wedding plan. Her office training was near my home,so i saw her & said HI. She said me to leave & got angry. She didn't met & told in phone that I am not your personal property. My family don't keep check on me like that. Why you came to training?. I said you never care about my happiness. You get time to ask other friends & your colleagues well being but not a single reply to my text or call. From last 1 month, we only talked if i call in her sister mobile or she called from her sister number.

We broke up last night,It happens most times that we fight & shout & end it. She told me not to show my face to her if we ever bump in road. She is very proud of her beauty & has a very big ego. But overall she is nice.

I took lot of crap & i feel after caring so much,do i deserve such treatment? Name any expensive gift which i have not given her. Mobiles, scooty , Expensive dresses,boots,clutches,jackets & Perfumes.

I am just mentioning this to make my point that i did all which will make her happy. I wanted to give her life which she wishes for.

I am very self-centred guy but first time in my life i got emotionally attached with anyone & i am doomed.

One thing is sure she know if she call me after few weeks or months,she hope i will return to her like lost puppy. but now i want her to realise that my self respect is also important. She never cared about my happiness.

In today's world most ppl will not do this much for their gf,best friend is far thing.

 

[ZTIME]

Day 15 After that ridiculous text I sent 15 days ago, I new it was time to heal myself, so that's exactly what I'm doing. To much anger and hurt feelings revolving around this thing to think straight all of the time. But for all of you in the same boat......week 2 gets a bit better.

 

[christoff522]

Day 1- No contact. I will follow this for my own sanity.

I recently had a big fight with my best friend. I met her when i had a break up with my ex-girlfriend couple of years back. She really helped me in coming out of that emotional thing.
We became good friends really fast. At the beginning we both used to care for each other a lot. She used to tell me that his colleague proposed him but she can't accept as religion is different. I used to tell her about my girlfriend.

Then i got engaged with my girlfriend. She was so happy for me. But my fiancée & she don't like each other much.

To be honest i always had infatuation towards her because she is one of the most beautiful girl i ever met & she is a nice person.

I continued caring about her & fulfilled all her wishes,doesn't matter how expensive it was. Her family is very conservative. She hardly got permission to do job. they are lower middle class.

To see smile on her face & for her happiness i did everything possible without blink of an eye. I met with her sisters too,they are like my second family.

but here how things started to change. She invited me to her office & said we will leave for lunch from there itself. I went & we had fun. Some of his colleagues misunderstood me as his boyfriend. She didn't liked it. So when i went again some other day, she asked me to leave from office & shouted on me infront of her colleagues. I know i was wrong in going to her office again but to insult me infront of others was very hurtful for me. anyway i let it go.

The thing is when she get angry,she don't have any control over her tongue. She use any word that comes in her mind that moment.

Then she asked me to call in her sister number because she don't want to give me her new number as she thinks i irritate her & possessive. i found out her number but she blocked me. She use Whatsapp but don't add me. She said i interfere too much & my fiancee will not like if we chat or talk much. that was her excuse anyway.

I told her you are my best friend. i get along well with your sister but she is not my friend. I will talk in your number.

I just never took a stand. She knew i will always return to her no matter how bad she treat me.

Her sister told me she care a lot about me but don't show her emotion to anyone. She don't want to cause problem between me & my fiancee.

I said my fiancee know everything & she is fine. She has her own friend circle too. People with gf have also right to have female best friends.

She gives me lot of time when i visit her city,it's my home town too. but I work in other city.

I just told her that you chat whole night with other friends in your number but you have problem doing that with your best friend.

She said you came to my office,i felt bad & insecure that my colleagues made fun that my boyfriend is possessive & came to check on me. She said you will leave,but i will live in same city,so i don't want to compromise with my respect.

anyway i understood. But yesterday we had a fight because i visited her city & asked for her time to meet to discuss about my wedding plan. Her office training was near my home,so i saw her & said HI. She said me to leave & got angry. She didn't met & told in phone that I am not your personal property. My family don't keep check on me like that. Why you came to training?. I said you never care about my happiness. You get time to ask other friends & your colleagues well being but not a single reply to my text or call. From last 1 month, we only talked if i call in her sister mobile or she called from her sister number.

We broke up last night,It happens most times that we fight & shout & end it. She told me not to show my face to her if we ever bump in road. She is very proud of her beauty & has a very big ego. But overall she is nice.

I took lot of crap & i feel after caring so much,do i deserve such treatment? Name any expensive gift which i have not given her. Mobiles, scooty , Expensive dresses,boots,clutches,jackets & Perfumes.

I am just mentioning this to make my point that i did all which will make her happy. I wanted to give her life which she wishes for.

I am very self-centred guy but first time in my life i got emotionally attached with anyone & i am doomed.

One thing is sure she know if she call me after few weeks or months,she hope i will return to her like lost puppy. but now i want her to realise that my self respect is also important. She never cared about my happiness.

In today's world most ppl will not do this much for their gf,best friend is far thing.

Well done, keep it up!!

 

[Lion1985]

178th day of No Contact

still nothing from her, not a single sms, call, text, whatsoever.....
Very hard emotional rollercoaster the last days, feeling very weak,
I think the imminent surgery is also the reason stressing me emotionally

 

[cfdagola]

wanna post an update here. it'll be long but TLDR is at the bottom

So i posted to you all that I told her i just couldn't handle being her friend. and after a bitter exchange she said she cared about me but all she could offer is friendship. I said fine and told her i'd possibly reproach her on winter break and maybe catch up. she didn't exactly agree but said fine... and i left it at that.

About 4 hours later she hits me up with a random Lets get drinks. I'm thinking WTF is going on. I go i'm always up for drinks. she's like no not in december, tonight.

i said fine. i'll meet you close to your place. she told me she was nervous, her mind was racing and she didn't know what she was doing and asked if we should still meet. I said of course it'll help with any future awkwardness

we meet. no awkwardness at all. we were laughing and vibeing just like old times. I never brought up the relationship or any of our past. as she got more drunk. she started to get touchy feely and she also was staring at me smiling with a look i haven't seen in 9 months.

I was like what are you doing? she said just taking you all in i have no idea when i'll see you again. it was time to leave and i cash out and i split the tab before she could say anything.

we're out side and boom she hits me with the hard stuff. she literally grabs my arm and says please don't leave yet. I hug her tell her i've missed her and she instantly starts crying. she kept saying why couldn't you be like this 9 months ago! and that she missed me to. she was literally putting a bear hold on me.

i wiped her tears away and i told her honestly it was a mistake and i'm trying the best i can to own up to it. she's like i know... I can't help how I feel about you I can't stay away from you i've never met someone I cared about as much as you who understands me like you do. You're honest with me you tell me how it is especially if you don't like my outfit or anything really! And i keep pushing you away i've always done this. i keep pushing away or running away or cheating on the guys who i care about the most. And i thought you'd be the exception.

We end up making out right outside in front of the bar. and i literally asked her WTF are we doing... like what the actual FU*K. she's like I dunno!! our relationship is so complicated. she told me she was so scared about how fast her dude moved back in. she never anticipated it happening it just sorta did. And the fact he gets less hours she told him straight up she's not helping him on any of his bills.

I asked her why she's with him still. she shook her head and just said i'm to nice. but that's why i'm leaving work. so i don't have to look his mom in the eye anymore. and maybe without that guilt over my shoulders i can move on.

then i asked her again look at us what are we doing. i think what's happening here is more than just friends. isn't what's going on here worth something? to maybe at least try again? She couldn't answer instead she started crying even more.

I just told her that i'd be there for her when she wants to get together. she's like why do I have to get with you to hang out. i'm like cuz you live with another man! she's like i understand...

we sorta left it at that. i got in my car and i started texting a buddy. and she taps on the window and with a smile i haven't seen literally in 11 months like right when we started talking. she's like Let me get another kiss before you go.

then the rest of the night she text's me until i tell her i gotta go finish an exam before 1am. She said good luck XOXOX. Since then I feel her coming back. its luke warm right now. But this is definitely more than breadcrumbs. in fact she sent me this sexy video of her getting dressed. because she's headed out tonight with her guy (i'm assuming, she didn't mention it) to one of their mutual friends house's to drink. Haven't got one of those in a long time.

just said wow you look amazing. and told her to have fun and be careful.

TLDR: Met up with ex at a bar, things went great, was like we didn't skip a beat. She got drunk confessed and cried to me about our relationship and how it stands. Told her i'd be there for her to support her. We made out she texted me the rest of the night and now I feel she's coming back towards me although slowly and luke warm as of right now.

 

[christoff522]

wanna post an update here. it'll be long but TLDR is at the bottom

So i posted to you all that I told her i just couldn't handle being her friend. and after a bitter exchange she said she cared about me but all she could offer is friendship. I said fine and told her i'd possibly reproach her on winter break and maybe catch up. she didn't exactly agree but said fine... and i left it at that.

About 4 hours later she hits me up with a random Lets get drinks. I'm thinking WTF is going on. I go i'm always up for drinks. she's like no not in december, tonight.

i said fine. i'll meet you close to your place. she told me she was nervous, her mind was racing and she didn't know what she was doing and asked if we should still meet. I said of course it'll help with any future awkwardness

we meet. no awkwardness at all. we were laughing and vibeing just like old times. I never brought up the relationship or any of our past. as she got more drunk. she started to get touchy feely and she also was staring at me smiling with a look i haven't seen in 9 months.

I was like what are you doing? she said just taking you all in i have no idea when i'll see you again. it was time to leave and i cash out and i split the tab before she could say anything.

we're out side and boom she hits me with the hard stuff. she literally grabs my arm and says please don't leave yet. I hug her tell her i've missed her and she instantly starts crying. she kept saying why couldn't you be like this 9 months ago! and that she missed me to. she was literally putting a bear hold on me.

i wiped her tears away and i told her honestly it was a mistake and i'm trying the best i can to own up to it. she's like i know... I can't help how I feel about you I can't stay away from you i've never met someone I cared about as much as you who understands me like you do. You're honest with me you tell me how it is especially if you don't like my outfit or anything really! And i keep pushing you away i've always done this. i keep pushing away or running away or cheating on the guys who i care about the most. And i thought you'd be the exception.

We end up making out right outside in front of the bar. and i literally asked her WTF are we doing... like what the actual FU*K. she's like I dunno!! our relationship is so complicated. she told me she was so scared about how fast her dude moved back in. she never anticipated it happening it just sorta did. And the fact he gets less hours she told him straight up she's not helping him on any of his bills.

I asked her why she's with him still. she shook her head and just said i'm to nice. but that's why i'm leaving work. so i don't have to look his mom in the eye anymore. and maybe without that guilt over my shoulders i can move on.

then i asked her again look at us what are we doing. i think what's happening here is more than just friends. isn't what's going on here worth something? to maybe at least try again? She couldn't answer instead she started crying even more.

I just told her that i'd be there for her when she wants to get together. she's like why do I have to get with you to hang out. i'm like cuz you live with another man! she's like i understand...

we sorta left it at that. i got in my car and i started texting a buddy. and she taps on the window and with a smile i haven't seen literally in 11 months like right when we started talking. she's like Let me get another kiss before you go.

then the rest of the night she text's me until i tell her i gotta go finish an exam before 1am. She said good luck XOXOX. Since then I feel her coming back. its luke warm right now. But this is definitely more than breadcrumbs. in fact she sent me this sexy video of her getting dressed. because she's headed out tonight with her guy (i'm assuming, she didn't mention it) to one of their mutual friends house's to drink. Haven't got one of those in a long time.

just said wow you look amazing. and told her to have fun and be careful.

TLDR: Met up with ex at a bar, things went great, was like we didn't skip a beat. She got drunk confessed and cried to me about our relationship and how it stands. Told her i'd be there for her to support her. We made out she texted me the rest of the night and now I feel she's coming back towards me although slowly and luke warm as of right now.

My friend, please...do NOT expect anything from her. You won't get it. If she loved you and wanted to be with you she'd be with you. She's f**** in the head, she's probably a bit miserable in the relationship and is trying to triangulate you to take off some of the stress (been there). She's hooking you in with videos (been there), giving you half answers and avoiding everything you ask about the two of you being together (been there). This is the AFC in you wishing everything could be perfect and you two will have a perfect life together when this blows over. It won't happen, she's a screw up, probably a BPD from the sound of it.

Let me give you some info, a few weeks ago my bpdx rings me up in the early hours of the morning asking for help, I meet her, we make out, she tries to initiate sex which I declined for certain legally important reasons. She's got a bf. She rings me the next day. I try to be distant but supportive. I tell her the next day I'll always be there for her and I love her. She blows up. Then we go through intermittent periods of NC as I go gradually insane.

The same thing will happen to you. Sir, give up hope. Either go full NC or keep a very wide berth between you, you ain't getting back together. Nothing you've written there says anything more than her being lonely and wanting attention from someone who'll give it. If you meant more to her than just being a useful friend, you two would be together. Seriously, if Brad Pitt or George Clooney asked her to leave her bf for them (if they were single) do you think she'd be like "nooo I can't"? No! She'd be gone like a flash.

Come on man, you're on the premium forum for MEN and dating, get reading. Your ex is crazy, your ex is using you because you're letting her. She's got you wrapped around her little finger. Give it up. Find some other girls and spend your time on them, or better yet spend some time on yourself first.

 

[YeeZus]

So my EX had changed her desk from that was near me to somewhere I din't even know where she was seated after I went NC. So I was on my way to get coffee in office today and I saw her sitting back on her old desk that was nearby my desk. She also called up last week my sister and invited for wedding that is somewhere end on this year.

 

[Nis786]

I am on Day 2 of NC. I told everything to my fiancee,bcoz i wanted to be completely honest with her. She always knew i had a best friend & she met her before once. But she didn't knew i like her & little possessive.

Anyway She told me i acted as idiot. My friend used me bcoz i let her use me & compromised with my self respect. My best friend realized that she can have me whenever she want,& i will return to her like puppet.

My Fiancee told me that you were not this much soft during our dating days. Never show your weak side or give remote control of your life to any women. Sooner or later they will play with it.

She said that my friend will definitely contact me bcoz she is now used to have a luxury life & none of her male friends or boy friend will spend so much like you did as fool. Her sisters also helped her in playing game & using me.

She said i know you didn't wished to hurt me or cheat me,So i am with you & will help you come out of this but you need to cut all ties with her & her family. Just pull a disappearing act on your friend & never response if she contacts. If you ever contact her,we are done.

Just for information, My fiancee is 9, My best friend is 8.5. I am an idiot seriously.

I am lucky to have such supportive fiancee & will not waste single second of my life thinking abt my friend or hoping my friend will back. I will continue NC for my own now.