Here we Go!
So I read through all of these posts and I must say they are quite enlightening. I wanted to share my current story with everyone to see your thoughts.
I dated a Girl for the last 3.5 years. As with all relationships, mine started off great! This girl was attractive, loving, and nice.
After the first four months of us dating, I allowed this girl to move into my house. Here's the kicker', she has 3 children which she had part time custody. (3 days a week). I accepted it as I truly felt that she was "The One". For 2 years things were fine.
After 2 years things started to go down hill. You see, I helped her to get full custody of her 3 children because she said that this was what she wanted. We took these kids and did everything for them. They quickly became straight A students, and got into sports programs. All on my time and my dime. But that's ok!! I thought that she was "The 1".
Her work schedule and mine never really matched up. I have my own company which I run from 10am - 7pm. She works for someone from 8am-5pm. Due to this schedule I was being told that I didn't spend enough time with everyone, and that I didn't make it to the kids events enough, or that I was not involved with her life enough. (Keep in mind that all of these things were fine before she had full custody). So in an effort to compromise I decided to take off from my business every Sunday to spend time with the family and to leave work 1hr. early twice a week to make some of those practices. This worked for 2 months.
After 2 months went by, Nothing I could do was ever good enough. I would constantly get phone calls telling me that I didn't care because I wasn't home early every night. She would go through my cell phone asking me who I was talking to. She would stalk my e-mail and my face book, (often logging in as me since she had the passwords) she would accuse me of cheating and try to embarrass me in front of my friends and employees.
Things were miserable!! My self esteem was as low as it's ever been. I gained weight, I became depressed, I couldn't go to my own home and relax out of fear for the way I would be treated when I got there. Totally horrible.
In September, This girl ignored me for 3 entire days and on the third day texted me that she was moving out because she has tried too hard and things just didn't work out. So I decided to do some snooping......She has been texting another (single dad) that she met at those football practices I couldn't make. She has been e-mailing, and facebook messaging. So I got mad and DRUNK!!
I went home and as she was sleeping in another room other than mine I started texting her about exactly how I felt. I told her that I couldn't believe she would cheat on a guy who was working to support her and her children (As you can imagine, I used a lot of CRAZY language)! She wouldn't respond! so I yelled that if she wanted to move out I'd help her. I went to the closet grabbed all of her hanging clothes and dropped them over the balcony to the front foyer. Then I went to bed.
I woke up the next morning to a girl who told me she doesn't love me and that she just wants to leave and this is the happiest day of her life. I tried to explain my feelings, but that didn't work. I left and wished her luck.
When I got home that evening, I walked into a house with a lot of missing furniture. Beds, tables, bar stools, lamps, wall hangings, desks, and cabinets. Funny thing was she didn't own any of it. She took every towel, every bed sheet and blanket, and anything else she could put in the moving truck she rented. It was insane.
10 minutes after I got home she walked through the door. I said "Wow, you took a lot of my stuff!" She started to cry and replied, "You're leaving me with nothing!, I had to put all of that furniture in storage and leave with 3 kids! You get your house and everything else in it. You're loosing nothing" My response was, "Today I have lost my best friend, my lover, and my family, and yes I consider them my family". he cried and left.
Exactly 1hr. later she calls my cell phone bawling her eyes out saying something along the lines of she doesn't know what she's doing and hangs up.
You're now up to date on the story!
I'm good at not begging, or calling, texting, or e-mailing even if I'm torn up inside. I did break down exactly 2 weeks after the break up and sent a text. the text said "I've lost my lover and my family and today I feel worse then I ever had in my life" she responded with "Pain is temporary, and You're jus afraid of change. Keep your head up and you'll be fine. I'm always here as a friend if you need me." She further stated that she has lost all love for me and that she wants me to have closure with no pain but things just didn't work.
So I'm now past my first week of NC after that text. It's been 3 weeks that I have not seen this girl. I'm pretty sure that she is now living with the guy from the football field and her 3 children. (5 kids total). She has gone to friends and family and said horrible things about me. (when she left I had to shut down our shared account which she left -$1000. She told everyone she deposited a check into that account and I shut it down leaving her with no money...CRAZY!)
I'm doing this NC for myself, with no hope of trying to win her back. My confused emotions have run the scenario of her coming back, but to be honest I'm not in a good place with myself to even make a rational decision.
I'm good with doing 60 days of NC and revisiting the situation then
Reply how you like folks!! I could use the feedback.
