The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Darrenez]

If you have decided you are truly done with her, TOSS the pictures.

Works wonders for me.

Thing is I don't have a choice mate, it was her decision to be finished with me not the other way round. What choice do I have? try and make things work with her when she doesn't want that?

When I put the pictures in the loft I saw some empty boxes of presents she had brought me for my past birthdays and it really upset me. ..I'm on day 9 of NC and my friend said that she is probably having a wail of a time getting on without me in her life..My friend could be right and maybe I need to accept that she will never want to get back with me and it hurts as I wanted to spend my life with her.

Part of me thinks that in future when this new found freedom novelty wears off, she will want to get back with me. Like someone here posted , if you find that rare love and feeling for someone it is hard to find and if she feels like that about she will be back..possibly by that time I may not want to be with her.

Sorry for the rant but chatting on here def helps:rockon:

 

[RedScorpion]

Hello gentlemen.

I am back on the NC train. Yes, I am actually quite upbeat about doing the challenge again, because I have done it before, and I know it works. It's the best way to show that you have strength of character, by showing you don't need to have her in your life, and that you are capable of moving on without the supplicating that most men fall to, to try and draw them back in, or get 'closure'. Which doesn't exist. And of course, it doesn't always turn out that they will come back. Takes time, but it does heal, I know.

I have put myself in oneitus, and have grown attached to someone with emotional issues. Showing all the signs of wanting a relationship, acting as they desired one, wanting more, yet refusing any kind of I'll say further intimacy (in any regard). It was my fault, for giving more time than I should have.

I do have you guys to thank, for teaching me how to handle this. As I know (unfortunately) that this way is the best way, for both 'getting her back', and for moving on. It sucks, but I know any other way is both more painful, and strategically bad. No amount of sucking up, anger, drama, gets a woman to come back. (If it were that easy). In a way it feels (yes even armed with knowledge), it feels like opening up, trying to sooth her, will convince her, get her to open up in return. But nope. Much more like run away.

So it's hard ball. As much as I dislike it. Day 1 NC.

 

[Cheeks]

Day 31, last night was really bad for me. I was this close to breaking. Honestly, I had hoped I would be further along in the healing process by now. Here's to hoping this is all part of the process.

I almost wish this was a typical case of her finding someone else, cheating, etc. But the abortion is the only apparent cause of her withdrawal, and that just leaves me with so many haunting, unanswered questions.

 

[Darrenez]

Day 31, last night was really bad for me. I was this close to breaking. Honestly, I had hoped I would be further along in the healing process by now. Here's to hoping this is all part of the process.

I almost wish this was a typical case of her finding someone else, cheating, etc. But the abortion is the only apparent cause of her withdrawal, and that just leaves me with so many haunting, unanswered questions.

I know how you feel pal I've not yet come close to breaking NC however I do really miss her and wonder if I should call her. However everyone on here and my friends tell me not to. I mean i doubt it would make any difference and that's probably the same for you mate. If the female has made the decision to finish with us I don't think trying to convince them will make any difference, it needs to be up to them...at least that's what I think.

The memories of her are all around me and it is really hard to get over her...but she's probably not thinking about me at all and getting on with her life so what can I do about it...nothing apart from just get on with my life as best as I can.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

Day 2

Hey guys. I registered to this site just to post in this thread.

First of all, this post is very complicated, I tried to keep it short and simple, sorry in advance.

I'm not new to PU, but she was my first real girlfriend. Both lost virginity to each other.

We (70% her) were mutually breaking it off for the past two weeks, with me trying to convince her for a "one last time" sex.

Why "mutually"? Well, we both agreed that we don't fit each (not going to bother you with all the details), the idea originated by me after she told me she isn't attracted to me anymore. From my understanding, she's ready to "give it another chance" only if I'd beg her for it.

Yesterday I finally decided to start NC after our last conversation (before NC) I foolishly tried to convince her that I loved her more than she ever loved me and this breakup is much harder for me and she just said "it's late, sleep on it". She hasn't contacted me since, neither did I.

At the beginning of the relationship it was as if she worshiped me; she was using my name to describe awesome things, and now - 4 yeas into the relationship she tells me she just doesn't feel it anymore.

I will spare you with the rest of the story and keep it short:
I'm in the middle of day 2 and not calling her is not that hard, however expecting her call is making me nuts. I want her to show she still cares for me, even if I won't answer her (and I won't!).

I keep wondering about other guys hitting on her and her fvcking them...if I knew she ever did that I'd die on the inside, I must stop doing that.

Facebook is not an issue since I closed it about a year ago after I realized it only causes jealousy problems on both sides (especially for me).

Last night I had two sex dreams about her. I was so excited to fvck her that I actually woke up. And as said before, I tried to convince her to have a "one last time", to which she agreed at first but only because she "wanted to give us one last chance" which I told her "no, I want us to have sex only if YOU want SEX" so I ended up with my **** in my hand.

Literally, I masturbate everyday now, 2-3 times daily...I'm horny as hell yet I can't think of myself sleeping with anybody but her, talk about oneitis huh? Not to mention I'm 20 years old!

Masturbation barely helps...every time I see her picture or something I get a super hard-on, god dammit, it felt so nice and warm inside of her, even if it lasted 5 minutes every time till she started getting sore ever since she's on the pill. Damn, even if she does have sex with somebody else, I hope she'll always use a condom.

Going to learn and practice the guitar I haven't touched it in 2 years since our last breakup which was 100% my choice
(we got back together after 4 months when I thought she was an angel but later she told me she "almost" fvcked a guy - wtf is almost? "her inserted just the a little above the tip"...yeah thanks for the detailed image *threw up in my mouth* - although I got past it eventually)
I've read that learning to play an instrument is very good during a breakup for personal development.

Started working out lately as well, after being almost handicap due to a herniated disc (used to squat & deadlift 140kg at 18 years old...now I can barely sit for longer than 30 minutes without pain)

A lot of **** is going through my mind these days...it's really hard when you're in the military without any friends

Going to go to the doctor at the evening and ask for a few days off due to my back pain, I feel a lot better at home compared to the army base (emotionally).

 

[Cerwin Vega]

She just sent me 3 messages on WhatsApp after not contacting me for 2 days...I guess she sent me some funny picture or something since her last massage was "hahaha silly kids". I didn't bother to read it, deleted the messages, blocked her and added her to my phone (after deleting her) as "DO NOT ANSWER".

 

[beatjunkie]

Day 31, last night was really bad for me. I was this close to breaking. Honestly, I had hoped I would be further along in the healing process by now. Here's to hoping this is all part of the process.

I almost wish this was a typical case of her finding someone else, cheating, etc. But the abortion is the only apparent cause of her withdrawal, and that just leaves me with so many haunting, unanswered questions.

Bro. I know exactly how you feel. I never fully healed and still think about her here and there (NC since January 2012). To top it off she got married after we broke up. You are right; this is not a typical case. As such you should expect to be healed by the end of 60 days. Best thing I can advise you to do is to forgive and accept her being happy somewhere else. Because regardless of how good a relationship was, her only thoughts will be on the abortion. So just be hopeful she will find happiness somewhere else and will lead a peaceful life without you. Suck man, but i'm talk from experience here. Stay strong for yourself Cheeks...all the best man, i really feel for you and understand what you are going through.

 

[rasj1983]

i dreamed about her last night, fu**, almost 6 weeks, damn it, so sad imagine that being with her now it's really just a dream, give me strength God. Six ******* weeks thinking of her everyday, and a single fu** was given to me. I really hope in the end of my challenge i get better, i'm in a rollercoaster my friends, a lot of sad moments and sometimes peace... i know i'm hurting myself thinking about her, but the feelings just don't go...

 

[rasj1983]

i'm not angry, i'm just sad.

 

[Darrenez]

I wonder to myself if she is thinking of me at all..obviously she wanted to be single so she could go out and do things etc..but after 6 years I feel a bit hard done by to be honest and don't deserve this. We were so good together and hardly ever argued. I'm on no contact for 11 days and wonder if I should contact her ,but then I think for what good would it do? It would make me look desperate trying to convince her to stay with me...but the longer I leave it without making contact with her surely the more certain she will be that she doesn't want me back?..oh she may miss me more..I'm not sure.

 

[Cerwin Vega]

End of day 2
It wasn't that bad. She called once, I didn't answer.
On the way back home I started thinking about all the bad **** I put her through...all the lies, few times I cheated (which she doesn't know about), mistakes and mostly bad decisions. I feel so sorry for her, if I were her I'd break it off a long time ago.

 

[Backwardsman]

End of day 2
It wasn't that bad. She called once, I didn't answer.
On the way back home I started thinking about all the bad **** I put her through...all the lies, few times I cheated (which she doesn't know about), mistakes and mostly bad decisions. I feel so sorry for her, if I were her I'd break it off a long time ago.

Dont feel bad, we all make mistakes, you have to learn from them that is the key...

I used to cheat all the time and for the most part felt bad, but then realised that i cheated because i was insecure...

each girlfriend passed and i learnt each time how to be in a relationship and grew more secure with myself.

Now i feel i am in complete control, i learnt that my thoughts are what messed me up the most after a breakup and started to change them into positive ones.

My last ex, i was with for a year, i broke it off as she still lived with her ex and didnt do anything about it, i told the ex about us, deleted her number and from my life and never looked back, in a nutshell she wasnt good enough for me..

What you have to realise is this wont be your last girlfriend, so learn from the mistakes and make the next one better, its all a learning curve, i assure you that...

I see one of my old ex's from time to time, i used to think i loved this girl, was a beta when we broke up for a few months and now when i see her, i dont feel anything at all - Time is a healer.

Keep with NC, its designed to move you on forward in your life, never look back, if you was meant to be with your ex, you wouldnt have broke up, every happens for a reason and was meant to happen, and couldnt have happened any other way, otherwise it would of

 

[Darrenez]

Has anyone broken no contact and things improved?? Part of me wants to know if she is seeing someone new and why she wanted to ruin a good thing after 6 near perfect years.

 

[Shaka]

Darrenez, I just registered for you (And I'm going to post my experience with NC when I have time. I think it will be as therapeutic to you)

Please don't get those thoughts in your head. Push them away. I'm in the SAME BOAT as you right now (6 7 years relationship that came to an end some weeks ago).
7 years of a relationship is no small wound my friend. Trust me, we feel the same pain.

Just remember this : DO NOT BREAK NC.
DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT BREAKING IT.
DO NOT SEEK FOR SOMEONE THAT BROKE IT TO MAKE YOU THINK IT CAN BE GOOD

I swear to you, it DOES get better. And remember that you are WORTHY of love and will be WHOLE again (I know that sounds cheesy but trust me for now)

 

[Backwardsman]

Darrenez, I just registered for you (And I'm going to post my experience with NC when I have time. I think it will be as therapeutic to you)

Please don't get those thoughts in your head. Push them away. I'm in the SAME BOAT as you right now (6 7 years relationship that came to an end some weeks ago).
7 years of a relationship is no small wound my friend. Trust me, we feel the same pain.

Just remember this : DO NOT BREAK NC.
DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT BREAKING IT.
DO NOT SEEK FOR SOMEONE THAT BROKE IT TO MAKE YOU THINK IT CAN BE GOOD

I swear to you, it DOES get better. And remember that you are WORTHY of love and will be WHOLE again (I know that sounds cheesy but trust me for now)

Agreed with Shaka,

DO NOT break NC!!

Once i broke NC a few years ago to get a girl back, it worked, but only for a short time, and all of the old problems were still there and yet again we broke up - Long story short, dont go back, you will only have to go through it all again, and for what...... nothing.....

I learnt the hard way and will never do it again, once a relationship is over, its over, plain and simple...

Not only does NC help you move on in your life, it cuts out all of the drama, eg, waiting for a response to a text, waiting by the phone, hoping she will call, instead, concentrate on your own life, not theres, why waste your life on somebody else's wondering what they are doing, Start to live your life NOW!!!

Give this a watch, made a lot of sense to me some years ago -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3miuaOWsj8

 

[Darrenez]

Darrenez, I just registeru (And I'm going to post my experience with NC when I have time. I think it will be as therapeutic to you)

Please don't get those thoughts in your head. Push them away. I'm in the SAME BOAT as you right now (6 7 years relationship that came to an end some weeks ago).
7 years of a relationship is no small wound my friend. Trust me, we feel the same pain.

Just remember this : DO NOT BREAK NC.
DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT BREAKING IT.
DO NOT SEEK FOR SOMEONE THAT BROKE IT TO MAKE YOU THINK IT CAN BE GOOD

I swear to you, it DOES get better. And remember that you are WORTHY of love and will be WHOLE again (I know that sounds cheesy but trust me for now)

Thank you for taking the time to register and speak to me..I'm not close to breaking it ,
I just wonder if things may change but don't worry I won't break...i am trying to move on and it is hard especially as i believe she wants to see if the grass is greener being single , meeting new people etc

We had a break a before we split and she did go on a date so who knows maybe she is already seeing someone new..I helped her all through the years when she had trouble getting a job and sticking to it..now she has a job and is happy (no depression) she says she's 30 and wants to make up for lost time..nice hey...don't get me wrong I did let her down once in them 6 years but I feel I've been a bit hard done by. She decided to throw it all away.
Thanks again pal.

 

[Darrenez]

Agreed with Shaka,

DO NOT break NC!!

Once i broke NC a few years ago to get a girl back, it worked, but only for a short time, and all of the old problems were still there and yet again we broke up - Long story short, dont go back, you will only have to go through it all again, and for what...... nothing.....

I learnt the hard way and will never do it again, once a relationship is over, its over, plain and simple...

Not only does NC help you move on in your life, it cuts out all of the drama, eg, waiting for a response to a text, waiting by the phone, hoping she will call, instead, concentrate on your own life, not theres, why waste your life on somebody else's wondering what they are doing, Start to live your life NOW!!!

Give this a watch, made a lot of sense to me some years ago -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3miuaOWsj8

Hi mate. Thanks for the link to the video,at work ATM but I'll check it out when I'm home. I'm going to the gym 5 times a week now instead of 4 so I'm in even better shape for the summer,seeing my friends ,so I am keeping busy. If she does want to give things a go in the future I'd like to give things a go however I need to get that out of mind..just hard to forget about all the memories, happy times and even her face.. Oh well onwards and upwards.day 11 of nc

 

[Backwardsman]

Hi mate. Thanks for the link to the video,at work ATM but I'll check it out when I'm home. I'm going to the gym 5 times a week now instead of 4 so I'm in even better shape for the summer,seeing my friends ,so I am keeping busy. If she does want to give things a go in the future I'd like to give things a go however I need to get that out of mind..just hard to forget about all the memories, happy times and even her face.. Oh well onwards and upwards.day 11 of nc

Keep it up darren, stay positive, it will all work out well in the end i can assure you that

 

[bigwuz]

I have no choice but to go no contact she stopped talking to me I'll do this should be cool hope she talks to be before baby comes but she called my other baby mama a fat b!tch

 

[bigwuz]

I think this should hurt more than it should. I cheated on her twice with my baby mama an cut my baby mama off for her. We always had problems communicating then she broke up with me 3 weeks ago for no reason but we talked everyday. Then she thought I cheated on her with a chick who wanted me but I didn't an she knows it she wanted me to pick her up on my son's birthday an miss it I was about but she said if we get back together her mom will kick her out an she wanted a better future this after she begged me to get her that same day then we argued an I texted her mom an she got mad an said baby wasn't mine but we all know it is then I got so pissed I sent pics of her sucking my d to her mom n sister. I never heard from her since but heard from police. I let emotions get a hold of me I should of said cool. I think someone else is in the picture but yesterday she called my baby mama a fat b on Facebook for no reason. I haven't tried writing her at all she can stay out there was gonna go for paternity but she will try n ruin my life. I feel bad about some things but this is my 3rd day of nc baby will be here in September dude will be out the picture before that