The Loveshack/SoSuave Discussion [Merged Threads]

[Interceptor]

Most relationships are full of drama, if not all.

I have had one that was so full of it that I ended up ending it which was the best decision I have ever made!

It was a journey for me too. Although we had more downs than ups, I didn't regret any of it cos I must admit, he was a good guy but he let his past come in between us.

I do wonder now and then why some men let that happen in their current relationships if the past girlfriends were a total b!tch to them...

This one.

 

[Lishy]

Lishy. Stay or leave. Your choice. Quit whining about it. You didn't get the reception you'd prefer. Too late to go back and change it now.

You aked me! TWICE!

I replied and get told to stop whining? Is that how you treat the women in your life?

Shame on you!

 

[Latinoman]

Ok, Karma has started one at LS, but seeing as they banned everyone else from here over there he's pretty much a lone voice. So I thought I'd start one here and anyone from either site can have a nice little debate.

First, if the Powers That Be don't want this thread, delete it I don't really mind.

Second, if you are sick of this issue go help someone in another thread.

Okay then. I'd first like to address two main accusations that crop up over at LS when discussing SS (apart from the fact that we are probably all Nazis with those initials).

1. Misogyny. Using words like whore and slut. Well, both are word-filtered for a start. But my main point is that these 'hate-speech' words rarely crop up, and never from the most respected members. But is their some bitterness and 'gender hate' at SS. Yes, from a minority. But mostly this place is full of people who love and respect women just fine. But they don't put them on a pedestal, and will use 'locker-room' language if they choose, usually for comic effect. A good look around will show there are not a plethora of 'women are stupid *****es and I hate them' threads.

2. Generalisations. The problem, apparently, is we say 'all women this' and don't recognise they are all unique little snowflakes. Fine, generalizations can be broad and don't apply to everyone. But it's not reasonable to expect people to always make sure they say 'a lot of' or 'many' women do such and such, and conversely when women read The Rules or their Agony Aunts, similar generalizations are made about men. And just because it's a generalization doesn't mean it isn't generally true. And though I bet every Loveshacker will say they've never read The Rules or any of the millions of similar books that sell to women in their millions, I'm sure they have all spent some time trying to figure out men. They just don't like it when men do the same, unless they conclude 'women are just mysterious, give up trying to understand them.'


Ok just wanted to get the ball rolling. Next!

So...what's the purpose of this thread? Are you trying to get the "girls" in LS to like you?

Please, Nighthawk...don't insult our intelligence.

 

[Interceptor]

You aked me! TWICE!

I replied and get told to stop whining? Is that how you treat the women in your life?

Shame on you!

I spank them , then give them a kiss on the cheek...




Welcome to my life, Lishy

LOL!:crackup:

 

[Nighthawk]

Another thorny issue with the LSers is the idea that a Real Man doesn't have to proclaim his masculinity (as we do here), he just is. This is understandable, their ideal man does not have to learn to be alpha, for then he is not alpha. The real alphas have it all figured out from day one, or at least appear to.

And we all know the boys at school without any insecurities, who were natural leaders and teased the girls just right. Is it an innate quality? To some extent. But also a lot of boys were quite good at being confident in their masculinity until it was conditioned out by the female teachers and the often-feminised media (girls no knee-jerk responses about it being a man's world still - there is plenty of stigma attached to maleness in society these days but it's not something you, or even a lot of men, are predisposed to notice).

But like it or not, complaining isn't manly, and thus not attractive. Discussing masculinity (now) has negative connotations, and terms like 'masculinist' or 'dominance' can set female alarm bells ringing.

That's why IMO it is important to move on from any bitterness (on both sides, as all agree) and try and keep this 'battle of the sexes' light, flirty and fun. You can be a Manly Man. Just don't be an angry dick about it.

 

[Kamille]

Guess what? I have focused on "letting those kind of women in" and they all want "The FRIENDSZONE" They have no interest in a motivated male, meanwhile, Gage is hitting a 25 year old that could be on the cover of Maxim.
Gage's only motivation is figuring out how to get a ride to Circle K for another 6 pack before the liquor sales shut down at midnight.

ah the dreaded friendzone.

I actually have no insight whatsoever on how to avoid that one, other then if you are interested in a woman, make sure she knows it early on. That way she can't friendzone you.

I know that's how bf got me. I was totally in frienzoning mode with most of the guys in my life, but bf let me know from the get go that his interest in me was sexual-romantic.

I'm sure SS offers a lot of good advice on how to avoid the friendzone.

 

[Purple-Haze]

Another thorny issue with the LSers is the idea that a Real Man doesn't have to proclaim his masculinity (as we do here), he just is. This is understandable, their ideal man does not have to learn to be alpha, for then he is not alpha. The real alphas have it all figured out from day one, or at least appear to.

And we all know the boys at school without any insecurities, who were natural leaders and teased the girls just right. Is it an innate quality? To some extent. But also a lot of boys were quite good at being confident in their masculinity until it was conditioned out by the female teachers and the often-feminised media (girls no knee-jerk responses about it being a man's world still - there is plenty of stigma attached to maleness in society these days but it's not something you, or even a lot of men, are predisposed to notice).

But like it or not, complaining isn't manly, and thus not attractive. Discussing masculinity (now) has negative connotations, and terms like 'masculinist' or 'dominance' can set female alarm bells ringing.

That's why IMO it is important to move on from any bitterness (on both sides, as all agree) and try and keep this 'battle of the sexes' light, flirty and fun. You can be a Manly Man. Just don't be an angry dick about it.

I love masculinity in its fullest form. I marvel at it actually. It is half the reason I was even created.

A man's sexual power, his potency, his ability to provide, to shelter, to guide and direct, these are all qualities I love.

I don't fear masculinity. I embrace it for its roughness and charm (among other things).

 

[Nighthawk]

So...what's the purpose of this thread? Are you trying to get the "girls" in LS to like you?

Please, Nighthawk...don't insult our intelligence.

I like a fun debate. And why not?

 

[Kamille]

Nighthawk has a point. At one point in my life, I noticed my lovelife wasn't working for me so I worked on changing the things that would make dating a pleasurable, fun experience. It mostly involved not letting my self-esteem depend on whether or not I had guy's attention and just having fun with whoever I was with. Some people appear to just know how to lead healthy lovelives, others need to find ways to tap into it.

 

[Lishy]

The truth is that most of the men here are here to learn how to react to women - They get met with myth's that women want men to be alpha males and the reception I got from a large percentage of you proved that to me.

I was not given a chance by most of you. Why? because the 'damaged' guys on here didn't want to bother! They made a decision about me and that was that! At Loveshack you are given a chance, you all did not see that as you had made a 'plan' to sabatage LS and show us the way! In retrospect you came to LS to do what you are claiming you never do, preach your ways!

I am not saying your thoughts are wrong, I agree with lots said on here BUT what you fail to realise is that if women did not exist you would not be on here trying to improve yourselves! You are doing it for the girls! admit it!

You want a place that houses only men, a place where (for once) you can beat your chests and be the alpha male that is hiding within you as you cannot do this, and get away with it, in real life!

Women want a man to be a man, this is true, we fall hard for the bad boys but that is a learning curve. I have fallen for the kind of guy who just wants sex and I desperately wanted more from him, I look back on this guy with disgust in myself! He begged me back once I lost intrerest, he basically pleaded with me but he had done the damage and there was no going back. He taught me to appreciate the man I am with now. He can be alpha male at times but he treats me with respect and we do have problems, but we get through them and become stronger as he TALKS to me, not at me!

You see the thing is that you MUST talk to women to understand us, and we are not all the same.

 

[Interceptor]

I love masculinity in its fullest form. I marvel at it actually. It is half the reason I was even created.

A man's sexual power, his potency, his ability to provide, to shelter, to guide and direct, these are all qualities I love.

I don't fear masculinity. I embrace it for its roughness and charm (among other things).

Cool. These are things I like about you so far.....

You should have no problem getting along here.

 

[Lishy]

I spank them , then give them a kiss on the cheek...




Welcome to my life, Lishy

LOL!:crackup:

I am quite partial to a spank But which cheek do you kiss?

 

[Interceptor]

The truth is that most of the men here are here to learn how to react to women - They get met with myth's that women want men to be alpha males and the reception I got from a large percentage of you proved that to me.

I was not given a chance by most of you. Why? because the 'damaged' guys on here didn't want to bother! They made a decision about me and that was that! At Loveshack you are given a chance, you all did not see that as you had made a 'plan' to sabatage LS and show us the way! In retrospect you came to LS to do what you are claiming you never do, preach your ways!

I am not saying your thoughts are wrong, I agree with lots said on here BUT what you fail to realise is that if women did not exist you would not be on here trying to improve yourselves! You are doing it for the girls! admit it!

You want a place that houses only men, a place where (for once) you can beat your chests and be the alpha male that is hiding within you as you cannot do this, and get away with it, in real life!

Women want a man to be a man, this is true, we fall hard for the bad boys but that is a learning curve. I have fallen for the kind of guy who just wants sex and I desperately wanted more from him, I look back on this guy with disgust in myself! He begged me back once I lost intrerest, he basically pleaded with me but he had done the damage and there was no going back. He taught me to appreciate the man I am with now. He can be alpha male at times but he treats me with respect and we do have problems, but we get through them and become stronger as he TALKS to me, not at me!

You see the thing is that you MUST talk to women to understand us, and we are not all the same.

Good points.
It is then up to you to try to be part of the solution and not part of the problem, and talk to the women folk to learn how to appreciate men, not just some superficial male characteristics.

Reward the good guys in your life, the guys with class and substance.
And leave those 'jerks' and 'bad boys' alone with their insecurities.


Come and talk TO US and NOT AT us.


We are Men. Not mindless beasts.

 

[Interceptor]

I am quite partial to a spank But which cheek do you kiss?

Depends on how good you are to me, missy.

Do you KNOW how to treat a man right?

 

[Kamille]

I think it's good to have a space where men can discuss issues they face in their love-sex lives with other men. I am impressed by how candid some of the posts in the other sections are.

I also don't think there was any need to flame or bash LS, which is just a different kind of forum, where men and women discuss relationships. No one is forcing anyone to be on either forum.

If you think someone from LS could benefit from participating in this forum, then you could have simply said: hey, why don't you check out Sosuave? There wasn't any need to belittle LS's male poster's sexuality, or paint LS female posters as angry man-haters.

No one is delusional and in need of rescuing. We are on advice forums because we have chosen to do something about events in our lives that bothered us. As such, posters should always be treated as rational adults, whether you agree with their points of view or not.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Let me explain to you why LS is a dead end. LS is an echo chamber. The members (at least the more established ones) there aren't interested in learning, or growing or understanding anything that doesn't fit into their Carl Jung, pop-psychology ego-investments. I'm not starting this post off like this to be incendiary, it's just experience. I've had 3 accounts banned there and for nothing more than presenting cogent arguments and viewpoints that challenge the sensibilities of their members. Nothing I posted was in any way inflammatory, nothing I posted broke any rule in the user agreement. The only thing I did was offer well thought counter points of view that the members of LS simple don't want to read.

Anyone with even a passing critical remark about anything feminine is labeled a misogynist, without so much as a thought about the point being made. Be offended if you want, but doing so only kills discourse and anything meaningful that might be learned from it.

All it takes is one dissenting POV on LoveShack to draw the ire of any woman; that's to be expected. But what follows is a landslide of siccophant males, like braying asses, all attempting qualify themselves to be acceptable not just to a single woman responding, not just to their generalized feminine sensibilities, but to themselves, in relative anonymity - meaning they have nothing to real hide and this is their default response. Far more males (they're not Men) will vehemently rise to defend the dissenting woman, without so much as a critical thought to what's been said. As if the content doesn't matter. Only the context. And if that sounds even remotely disparaging of their AFC ego investment it's met with such a throng of protest and so loud a chorus of a well taught and conditioned shaming response that the woman with an opposing viewpoint becomes secondary to their need to prove amongst themselves who's the more acceptable to the feminine norm.

The general populace at LS don't want a challenge to think critically, they want affirmation. They want to be held by the hand and consoled, not educated. I've been a Mod here for over 2 years, I know what trolling is. What I was posting there was iconoclastic, it was threatening, it was forcing people to reconsider their interpretations, but I guess it's better to ban me than run the risk of that right?

There's a lot of sh!t on SS, but there's a lot of gold here too. The difference is that we attack the arguments here and discuss things critically rather than just wish it away or pass it off as misogyny.

 

[ketostix]

ah the dreaded friendzone.

I actually have no insight whatsoever on how to avoid that one, other then if you are interested in a woman, make sure she knows it early on. That way she can't friendzone you.

I know that's how bf got me. I was totally in frienzoning mode with most of the guys in my life, but bf let me know from the get go that his interest in me was sexual-romantic.

I'm sure SS offers a lot of good advice on how to avoid the friendzone.

A guy avoids the friends zone by basically not letting a woman push her friend zone agenda on him. If she won't accept his agenda, then we walks away and finds another girl who will accept his agenda. Of course convential wisdom at LS is that this is synonmous with, "wanting sex only" and even consider "creepy". But that's just the women trying to enforce their agenda on the males that read there without even having to put him in the friends zone. Contrary to what women usually say, allowing a woman to impose her agenda and not imposing yours almost always results in being friend zoned.

 

[Lishy]

Good points.
It is then up to you to try to be part of the solution and not part of the problem, and talk to the women folk to learn how to appreciate men, not just some superficial male characteristics.

Reward the good guys in your life, the guys with class and substance.
And leave those 'jerks' and 'bad boys' alone with their insecurities.


Come and talk TO US and NOT AT us.


We are Men. Not mindless beasts.

A part of me has to stand uo for myself so when I get attacked, I attack back. That comes from bad experiences where I did not stand up for myself. I learned the hard way, but I did learn.

I vote that we all just get along and that we do not judge each other just because of our gender. Surely that is a must have buy in the fight to be the best that we can?

To understand each other is to love each other!

 

[Interceptor]

Let me explain to you why LS is a dead end. LS is an echo chamber. The members (at least the more established ones) there aren't interested in learning, or growing or understanding anything that doesn't fit into their Carl Jung, pop-psychology ego-investments. I'm not starting this post off like this to be incendiary, it's just experience. I've had 3 accounts banned there and for nothing more than presenting cogent arguments and viewpoints that challenge the sensibilities of their members. Nothing I posted was in any way inflammatory, nothing I posted broke any rule in the user agreement. The only thing I did was offer well thought counter points of view that the members of LS simple don't want to read.

Anyone with even a passing critical remark about anything feminine is labeled a misogynist, without so much as a thought about the point being made. Be offended if you want, but doing so only kills discourse and anything meaningful that might be learned from it.

All it takes is one dissenting POV on LoveShack to draw the ire of any woman; that's to be expected. But what follows is a landslide of siccophant males, like braying asses, all attempting qualify themselves to be acceptable not just to a single woman responding, not just to their generalized feminine sensibilities, but to themselves, in relative anonymity - meaning they have nothing to real hide and this is their default response. Far more males (they're not Men) will vehemently rise to defend the dissenting woman, without so much as a critical thought to what's been said. As if the content doesn't matter. Only the context. And if that sounds even remotely disparaging of their AFC ego investment it's met with such a throng of protest and so loud a chorus of a well taught and conditioned shaming response that the woman with an opposing viewpoint becomes secondary to their need to prove amongst themselves who's the more acceptable to the feminine norm.

The general populace at LS don't want a challenge to think critically, they want affirmation. They want to be held by the hand and consoled, not educated. I've been a Mod here for over 2 years, I know what trolling is. What I was posting there was iconoclastic, it was threatening, it was forcing people to reconsider their interpretations, but I guess it's better to ban me than run the risk of that right?

There's a lot of sh!t on SS, but there's a lot of gold here too. The difference is that we attack the arguments here and discuss things critically rather than just wish it away or pass it off as misogyny.

Great post, Rollo.

 

[Lishy]

Depends on how good you are to me, missy.

Do you KNOW how to treat a man right?

Sure I know

I make him a big T-Bone steak (cooked with nothing on except an apron) I then lay on the bed and wait for the footie to finish (after making sure he has enough cold beers)

Its easy! :crackup: