The line between gossip and talking about others lives when they're not around

[FlexpertHamilton]

Depends on how good they are at manipulation. The obvious manipulators want to isolate their victims, but the experienced manipulators can do it in the clear light of day.

I've never met a woman who attempted to isolate me from friends family in any way shape or form. Who would be naive enough to fall for

that? What I do consistently experience with most women I date is her talking about exes, with the caveat that most of them do not describe them as "toxic" or "abusive" etc but expressing pity or sadness for him, which is very strange and I don't quite know what that means.

 

[jhonny9546]

The talk about exes is to draw your attention that these women have been considered desirable enough by other men to have relationships with them. Since everyone is looking for attention and validation, they are telling you about their exes because they want your attention and validation.

So how do you give em that, in the correct way?

 

[jhonny9546]

earn it

That's the good mindset, by "earn" it do you mean with actions they do to you?
Do you consider "making her avaiable to you" or "having her flirting to you" actions?

 

[Doctor Doom]

Gossiping is a feminine trait. Also, in my experience, I’ve never understood why men are so concerned about other men. Advice is one thing but, worried about another man is crazy.

 

[jhonny9546]

"One does not applaud the singer for clearing her throat."

You always have great examples of metaphors, but what about real life?
Which behaviors do you reward and which do not?
It is important to figure it out yourself, but it is also important to write down how you would have behaved in certain situations

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Gossiping is a feminine trait. Also, in my experience, I’ve never understood why men are so concerned about other men. Advice is one thing but, worried about another man is crazy.

You don't ever worry about the wellbeing of your close friends?

 

[jhonny9546]

Behaviours that show she's invested. Eager participation.

So at this point, if you see her "invested" (i know what you mean by it), se fossi stato approcciato da questa ragazza con un mood investito e felice, e tu eri in uno stato distaccato ma socievole, cambieresti il tuo stato distaccato in solare o piu socievole, o resti comunque distaccato, mostrando lei solo apprezzamento distaccato?

I didn't escalate sexually with them although both of them were giving clear indications of being available to me.

Nice story that intersects with mine! At a local jewelry store, there was a very cute saleswoman who looked at me deeply while we were talking. Before saying goodbye and handing me the bag, she gave me a lovely smile that showed interest. However, I didn’t experience the same thing you did. No one followed me on Instagram, sent me messages, wrote me notes, or made little hearts. Besides her, there were also three other women present. I assume you are very attractive!
I wonder what about you convinced them right away..
There's also the fact that if a woman finds you attractive, then the rest of the group will too

 

[jhonny9546]

That depends on the status of the woman.

Good observation!

looked at me deeply while we were talking

I can say that was not a "seller" gaze for sure.

they'll be treating you like that when the courtship is over.

You can also see this with pregnant women: first, there is "love bombing," and after the child is born, the father is treated differently. This is also why many marriages fail. Couples often agree to marry when she is pregnant or during the "love bombing" or "honeymoon" phase, or also when they use "making a child" or "marriage" as an excuse to get the "responsability" to bond togheter.

 

[jhonny9546]

If that saleswoman was genuinely interested in you, she would've slipped you her contact info or try to find another way to contact you (like a message on IG), but despite the deep gaze and the lovely smile, she didn't do anything like that.

Happens everywhere. Basically it's the result you get from the interaction.

 

[jhonny9546]

Even if she asks your IG, just remain unaffected.

One woman didn't ask for my Instagram, but she showed me she was "available" by creating some highlight content (Instagram stories) related to me. (I'm an artist, and she published a story about some paintings.) She was never interested in art, so she made this for me, expecting me to react or write to her in that story. I didn't react to that.
Later stories were about her 5 year LTR going wrong and how she was working to save it...


How should this be interpreted?

 

[jhonny9546]

Probably as a woman 'monkey-branching'.

That's what I thought at first.
She wanted me to validate her interest, then she could have a secrect sex moment with me, and then she may decide if keeping the old or go with the new.

Do all women monkey-branch?
I just know most of them just meet a new guy (most of time at work or school or where they can spend time with), get closer to him, and plan break ups in advance for their current boyfriends. (even married ones or with child)

Then also "Women want security in a form of long-term stable commitment from the man who induces huge amounts of drama and excitement"

Also, I've heard this and sounds conradictory "the man who induces huge amounts of drama and excitement" which is usually a feminine, emotional, and not masculine, wiser man