The journal of Dedication

pyros

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this thread should be renamed to: the journal of boredom
 

Dedication

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Day 12

Hahah, it seems that you were expecting more, well that's too bad for you. I'm not translating my conversations nor posting all my sets.

Online dating
Every girl I wanted to go out with hasn't responded yet, all the girls I just randomly messaged for no reason has reply'd and happily wanted to start a conversation. Upon rereading my profile I noticed that it is way to serious, so I deleted the majority and rewrote half of it.

Online dating made me realize:

- I don't feel any rejection. This doesn't build my character
- I'm not getting social, if anything. I'm feeling pretty anti-social right now.

While I am learning a new approach to the game, there is no thrill in it untill I actually meet up. Untill that time, it's just a waste of time.

set an HB8 sat in a good spot and I accused her for taking my seat on purpose, I noticed that she was nervous. After talking to her for a couple of minutes I noticed that she wasn't going to open up if I kept going the way I was doing. So I decided to talk to other strangers left & right and combining sets. I noticed that her head started to turn my way and she felt more comfortable. Then suddenly her girlfriend showed up, the angle was bad and I couldn't engage her, well that was unfortunate.

( . )( . ) said:
Good job man. Now you've thrown down the gauntlet we want to see this page filled with "she laughed in my face ", "she told me not if I was the last person on earth" "she said I had a head like a foot" etc etc.

What's the worse that can happen? Rejections? Bring it on I say.

Rejections=thicker skin=self evaluation=improvement=hotter chicks. You'll learn what works by learning what doesn't work . Then once you've got that down you'll learn not to give a sh!t either way.
Thanks for the motivation, after some retarded days of me trying out online game I noticed that it was missing the most important ingredient: The harsh and cold feeling of rejection. I'll be out and getting rejected and post about it, since that seems to spice this journal up a lot more.
 
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Dedication

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Day 13

A social day going out with a friend. Met around 5 new people who visit the bars in my local area.
 

Dedication

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Day 14

An appointment cancelled because he didn't feel like going out. I could've handeled it better by first pumping his state and then reminding him of our plans.

I found a guy living in another city who is down for daygame. We talked and we'll be going out getting the rejections firsthand.

Spent the rest of the day at the beach, chilling with friends and conversing with strangers, fun day.

Lesson learned
Read the mood, if he or she feels down. First pump it up and then bring up the logical stuff.
 

Dedication

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Dawn of the third sunday

<Placeholder, will be edited later tonight>
 

Dedication

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Day 15

I had decided to get my oneitis to come out today. I went out to school to get my summer project started but my coach cancelled our meeting the moment I entered my school. Pretty ****ty move, now I'll be going to school on my birthday, which doesn't really bother me anyway.

On the way home my train got delayed hard, I talked to

set 1 opening a girl on the bus stop, I talked to her for a couple of minutes but when the b us arrived we didn't get great seats. I might be seeing her again anyway, so that's good.

set 2 opened a girl who was walking towards the train station, while I felt she liked my company, I 'ran out of things to say' and didn't bother.

Set 3 on the way home I had to wait 30 minutes for the bus to arrive. I saw a girl standing and I assumed she was in the same situation. She was, we talked for 20 minutes and it was going smoothly, then she called her boyfriend >.<, anyway, she offered me a ride home and I took her up on it. I talked to her and her BF and decided they were cool people.

A couple of more sets the elderly, great conversations. Thank you for helping me with my verbal game.

So, earlier (which I didn't post a single thing about) I ****ed up with my oneitis. How did I do this? Easy.
- Didn't gave her space, I was showing her that I was needy.
- Didn't demonstrate leadership capability's because I'd much rather stick around with her.
- Escalated but I didn't back off, only when she asked me for the second time.
- I found all her words boring. Which must've showed one way or another.
- I asked questions and get her to answer, but I never shared anything interesting from myself.

- I ****ed up with her
- I ****ed up with my social circle by pissing off the GF of a friend of mine
- I decided that contact with a certain friend would only be stunting my growth because he is such a whiny little **** so I cut contact with him.
-That aside, I probably ****ed myself out of her social circle as well...

Aah well, lessons learned :D

Today I decided to get her out anyway. She was still friendly and replying to me while texting. I told her that I was going out and that she should come along, I told her to give me her number, which she did. She was replying friendly and cooperating with me. Yet my texts were logical and I didn't gave her the oppertunity to feel. So I (probably) bored her.

I called her number, nobody reply's. I text, found out it's a dude and then all the dots connected inside my brain. She had been avoiding me without ever letting me know it directly to my face. But her behaviour showed that she doesn't have interest in me. I texted her (for the last time) 'xxxxxxx isn't your number. I called to ask you to come with me." "I talked to a guy, if you look at it in a certain light, it is pretty funny :p" in that moment the feeling of oneitis lifted. I gave her the oppertunity to go out or reject me the best way she could. She did and I haven't heard from her since. I think we are both on the same page. If not, she'd be playing games I don't feel for anymore.

I enjoy the fact that I took action and let myself fail massively. I was walking around with anxiety but now I know for sure that it ain't happening between us. It gives me a feeling of relief, knowing that I don't have anything to lose anymore.

I could've prevented this entire mess if I was just being a cool dude. Instead, I was trying to apply game to a girl who was initially attracted to me. I use the word trying deliberately because in fact, I wasn't calibrating to the situation correctly.
 

p4yz

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Dedication said:
Hehe, well, the thing is that my brain usually has the following thoughts when other people talk: "Jesus Christ, this mother****er is stupid. X and Y don't add up", "If killing was legal you'd be dead right now", "incompetent piece of ****, I don't give a **** about you and your problems, quit your whining". So usually when other people talk I just walk away or interrupt them and start asking them (deep and very personal) questions so I can expose their weaknesses. For them it feels like an interrogation.
Dedication said:
I decided that contact with a certain friend would only be stunting my growth because he is such a whiny little **** so I cut contact with him.
I literally signed up just to quote this and bring up a point. Just think about what you are typing here for a minute.

Seriously, this thread reads like a serial killers secret diary.

"If killing was legal you'd be dead right now, incompetent piece of ****, I dont give a **** about you" -Patrick Bateman.

You have some sort of superiority complex, extreme narcissistic personality disorder or something mate.

I know you want to get better with women (and socialising in general), so here are some tips from someone who's been where you are to some degree:

(Sidenote : I have hundreds of approaches over a few years now, I also have my own company, which you mention you aspire to, and I can tell you if you can't handle listening to people and their needs and desires without your internal dialogue going bonkers, you will have ALOT of problems running a business)

- Stop thinking you are 'above' people. This is exactly what disconnects you from others and gets in the way of developing strong relationships. Avoid this 'I cant stand this person instantly' line of thinking and honestly try to look at situations from the other persons point of view.

- There is a ****load of unnessecary crap in the 'get better with girls' world that will NEVER be practical or helpful, it's just noise. Like fad diets, these marketers try to get you obsessed with all the little details like 'frame control' and 'inner vs outer game' BS.

Game essentially boils down to approaching, conversing normally, and escalating until either rejection or relationship/sex/whatever. Rinse repeat.

Step 1. Walk up to girls you want to meet and start talking to them about anything.

Step 2. Ask for their number/organise a date.

Step 3. Escalate physically during/after the date and have sex.

A huge percentage of guys just cant handle the approaching part. Once you can approach, all bets are off, if you approach often enough, everything else just self corrects.

Anyway, enough ranting. You just come across way too disconnected with other people in your diary and I hope this feedback has been constructive, I might come across negative but I relate with what you are doing and I am providing an 'after' shot for you to think about.
 

escaleraroyal

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As a person who has done 15k approaches. I disagree with the last poster about frame control, and inner game. These two have helped my game, not drastically, but some.
 

Dedication

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I've been in a hospital with acces to internet but without the eyesight to make us of it. Great time to reflect I might add :D

Day 16 & Day 17
I got some tests run on me for my eyes, had to take some kind of droples which made me lose a lot of my eye sight for a while. Really friendly people and I was seriously considering getting the number from a nurse because she was into me. But I didn't want to **** were I ate so I left it at that.

Day 18
Went out with a friend, I approached but had mostly friendly conversations with people without any real form of return.

During the day I contacted a couple of guys online so that we could do some daygame next week.

Day 19
I spend the day reading and learning about game. Then my boss hits me up and tells me I have to work because he couldn't get anybody else to do the job, so at the cost of my evening I had to do it.

Reflection
What a messed up week. I'm glad tonight will be a proper night of going out to get me back in my rythem.
 

Dedication

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p4yz said:
I literally signed up just to quote this and bring up a point. Just think about what you are typing here for a minute.

Seriously, this thread reads like a serial killers secret diary.

"If killing was legal you'd be dead right now, incompetent piece of ****, I dont give a **** about you" -Patrick Bateman.

You have some sort of superiority complex, extreme narcissistic personality disorder or something mate.

I know you want to get better with women (and socialising in general), so here are some tips from someone who's been where you are to some degree:

(Sidenote : I have hundreds of approaches over a few years now, I also have my own company, which you mention you aspire to, and I can tell you if you can't handle listening to people and their needs and desires without your internal dialogue going bonkers, you will have ALOT of problems running a business)

- Stop thinking you are 'above' people. This is exactly what disconnects you from others and gets in the way of developing strong relationships. Avoid this 'I cant stand this person instantly' line of thinking and honestly try to look at situations from the other persons point of view.

- There is a ****load of unnessecary crap in the 'get better with girls' world that will NEVER be practical or helpful, it's just noise. Like fad diets, these marketers try to get you obsessed with all the little details like 'frame control' and 'inner vs outer game' BS.

Game essentially boils down to approaching, conversing normally, and escalating until either rejection or relationship/sex/whatever. Rinse repeat.

Step 1. Walk up to girls you want to meet and start talking to them about anything.

Step 2. Ask for their number/organise a date.

Step 3. Escalate physically during/after the date and have sex.

A huge percentage of guys just cant handle the approaching part. Once you can approach, all bets are off, if you approach often enough, everything else just self corrects.

Anyway, enough ranting. You just come across way too disconnected with other people in your diary and I hope this feedback has been constructive, I might come across negative but I relate with what you are doing and I am providing an 'after' shot for you to think about.
Thanks for your post, I realize that some of the **** that went on inside me head is just unhealthy and had to be cut, while I exxagerated a bit, these thoughts usually popped up whenever somebody was talking to me without being direct or clear in what their intentions are/were.

Regardless, it still isn't healthy or productive in any way. I'm glad you took your time to reply.

During this week I put a huge focus on my verbal game and it shifted my way of thinking and the way I socialize with people. At the moment it's a bit more fun and light hearted. Which is also one of the goals I put out before starting my journal. Since I wanted to be capable of having fun regardless of the outcome (while still leading the interaction forward).

There is idd a lot of noise in the game industry, but it did help me become aware of the game and a lot of faults that I had/still have.

Anyway about feeling disconnected. I can tell you that at times I am pretty disconnected with people and it does come from me feeling superior towards other people. I've always had this feeling and I know it isn't productive. On the one hand it keeps me in state because I care so little, on the other hand at times I'm really not connecting with people because of it. I think that this will auto correct over time as I socialize a lot more.
 

Dedication

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Dedication said:
Thanks for your post, I realize that some of the **** that went on inside me head is just unhealthy and had to be cut, while I exxagerated a bit, these thoughts usually popped up whenever somebody was talking to me without being direct or clear in what their intentions are/were.

Regardless, it still isn't healthy or productive in any way. I'm glad you took your time to reply.

During this week I put a huge focus on my verbal game and it shifted my way of thinking and the way I socialize with people. At the moment it's a bit more fun and light hearted. Which is also one of the goals I put out before starting my journal. Since I wanted to be capable of having fun regardless of the outcome (while still leading the interaction forward).

There is idd a lot of noise in the game industry, but it did help me become aware of the game and a lot of faults that I had/still have. I didn't come from a perticularly healthy place, I can tell you honestly that I needed a wake up call.

Anyway about feeling disconnected. I can tell you that at times I am pretty disconnected with people and it does come from me feeling superior towards other people. I've always had this feeling and I know it isn't productive. On the one hand it keeps me in state because I care so little, on the other hand at times I'm really not connecting with people because of it. I think that this will auto correct over time as I socialize a lot more.
escaleraroyal said:
Real DJ, PUAs, Players don't need social circles.

As a person who has done 15k approaches. I disagree with the last poster about frame control, and inner game. These two have helped my game, not drastically, but some.
True, I don't need it. I just want to create one. If only just for the experience. On the other hand, it does give me great reason to relax and have fun.
 

Dalshtröm

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As I have said, goals wont so - they will Bring you frustations! Just chill out and take it as a play and you will succeed. There is no otjer way.
 

Dedication

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Day 20

After a party I went out with a good friend of mine to a big city. I couldn't believe it, all of the clubs we entered had free entry. The girls I saw ranged from 5's to 8's, good times.

While out my friend said to me that he wanted to live in this city… I couldn't be happier because I was thinking the exact same thing at that time. So now we are starting to look for opportunity's and move out and live in a big city.

Dalshtröm said:
As I have said, goals wont so - they will Bring you frustations! Just chill out and take it as a play and you will succeed. There is no otjer way.
I prefer having goals :yes:
 

Dalshtröm

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Then you should dream them! I have not read most of your post.. But please report me wherever you have had any lays. Wherever my predictment was right.
 

Dedication

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Day 21, Day 22

I've slipped up. I felt like playing a video game... It led to me playing for way to longer than I should've, while doing that I started eating unhealthy foods and I excused myself out of going out. F :mad:

I deleted all that ****. Being clean from video games for 3 month's, going back for 2 days and it makes me feel like an anti-social piece of ****. What a waste of time.

I was also clean from junkfood, which I started to take in again these last 2 days. This is why I want to have a healthy social circle so that those people will pull me out of a bad day.

Social_Leper said:
This advice is gold. There'd be a lot less whining if posters could just internalize this thinking. Would rep you if I could.
Yeah, he knows wtf he is talking about.

In 2 weeks I'll be going camping with a friend, the location will be (very?) close to a city, it'll be perfect for long streaks of daygame+going out at night. Awesomeness ensued.
 

Dedication

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Day 23

A day on the beach, I approached in the double digits and got 1 solid phone number who I know will respond positive because I spent half an hour getting her comfortable with me.

The sniper
I also met an old guy, he was a soldier in his prime. A sniper. I asked him why he couldn't walk and I asked him about the scars he had on his face and arms. Then he lifted his shirt, that sight wasn't pretty. It intrigued me a great deal so I asked him his story.

He told me how he was pretty much the best sniper and the tournaments he had won. The military had given him 34 missions, he has completed all of them succesfully. Unfortunately, he and his squad got captured. After that they tortured him and stopped giving him food. After a couple of days they entered with food, 'finally food' he thought. But they grabbed iron and smashed his jaw and nose braking it in the proces. His mates had to set his nose straight, one of the worst pains he had ever felt he said.

After the military saved him and fixed him up for whatever was possible, they told him he had to go home. Because he went through enough. He didn't want to hear any of it, so he went out with his squad and started hunting the people who tortured him. After 4 days he returned and his squad had 5 more kills on his name. The people who tortured him personally had met their grave.

This guy impressed me with his story, my life is nothing compared to what he has experienced.
 

Dedication

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Rolled Stones said:
inspiration read OP

go strong brah!
Thanks

Day 24

I just ****ed up on my solid number by texting her a lot more than I should've. At that time I thought I could make her smile, but I only made her mad. Well, at least I know what not to do haha.

I also got to get my new lenses, at least that was the plan. But as it so happens my eye reflections are way too strong for me to put my lenses in so I got to practice for an hour inside the store. I got some nice conversations out of it from visiters. Everybody except girls from my own age, they were scared of my teary red eyes, guess it didn't ook that pretty.

Day 25

A day with my family, I spent the majority of the day with friends and family.
 

Dedication

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Day 26 & Day 27[/B]

Useless, while I went out I wasted my time by not approaching people. I'm dissapointed at myself for not taking action.

I'll be meeting up with 2 new wings tomorrow to do some daygame. At least that'll force me to get my head straight again.
 
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