Day 15
I had decided to get my oneitis to come out today. I went out to school to get my summer project started but my coach cancelled our meeting the moment I entered my school. Pretty ****ty move, now I'll be going to school on my birthday, which doesn't really bother me anyway.
On the way home my train got delayed hard, I talked to
set 1 opening a girl on the bus stop, I talked to her for a couple of minutes but when the b us arrived we didn't get great seats. I might be seeing her again anyway, so that's good.
set 2 opened a girl who was walking towards the train station, while I felt she liked my company, I 'ran out of things to say' and didn't bother.
Set 3 on the way home I had to wait 30 minutes for the bus to arrive. I saw a girl standing and I assumed she was in the same situation. She was, we talked for 20 minutes and it was going smoothly, then she called her boyfriend >.<, anyway, she offered me a ride home and I took her up on it. I talked to her and her BF and decided they were cool people.
A couple of more sets the elderly, great conversations. Thank you for helping me with my verbal game.
So, earlier (which I didn't post a single thing about)
I ****ed up with my oneitis. How did I do this? Easy.
- Didn't gave her space, I was showing her that I was needy.
- Didn't demonstrate leadership capability's because I'd much rather stick around with her.
- Escalated but I didn't back off, only when she asked me for the second time.
- I found all her words boring. Which must've showed one way or another.
- I asked questions and get her to answer, but I never shared anything interesting from myself.
- I ****ed up with her
- I ****ed up with my social circle by pissing off the GF of a friend of mine
- I decided that contact with a certain friend would only be stunting my growth because he is such a whiny little **** so I cut contact with him.
-That aside, I probably ****ed myself out of her social circle as well...
Aah well, lessons learned
Today I decided to get her out anyway. She was still friendly and replying to me while texting. I told her that I was going out and that she should come along, I told her to give me her number, which she did. She was replying friendly and cooperating with me. Yet my texts were logical and I didn't gave her the oppertunity to feel. So I (probably) bored her.
I called her number, nobody reply's. I text, found out it's a dude and then all the dots connected inside my brain. She had been avoiding me without ever letting me know it directly to my face. But
her behaviour showed that she doesn't have interest in me. I texted her (for the last time) 'xxxxxxx isn't your number. I called to ask you to come with me." "I talked to a guy, if you look at it in a certain light, it is pretty funny
" in that moment the feeling of oneitis lifted. I gave her the oppertunity to go out or reject me the best way she could. She did and I haven't heard from her since. I think we are both on the same page. If not, she'd be playing games I don't feel for anymore.
I enjoy the fact that I took action and let myself fail massively. I was walking around with anxiety but now I know for sure that it ain't happening between us. It gives me a feeling of relief, knowing that I don't have anything to lose anymore.
I could've prevented this entire mess if I was just being a cool dude. Instead, I was trying to apply game to a girl who was initially attracted to me. I use the word
trying deliberately because in fact, I wasn't calibrating to the situation correctly.