Dawn of the second sunday
Reflective observations:
- I’m going to the wrong places, all of the pubs and bars I’ve visited were pretty empty and had a ratio of at least 3 males to 1 female, and that’s a good night! Were the **** are all the females?
- The mentality I’m using while entering these deserted places is off. I notice that I’m like *BOOM* Answer my question! The **** now! Instead of being chill like: *Zoof! Yeah* this is me having fun.
- I know I’m on the right path because I feel uneasy (It’s FEAR!) to open groups and sets on my own. I feel uneasy walking at 02:30 on a street I’ve never been before while passing by groups of guys all drunk and messing with objects on the street, especially when they begin talking to me, **** off! (lol
)
- I have no idea what specific areas I’m improving right now, I feel unfocussed.
- I don’t know how to open girls that are floating and hovering around me. All in these situations:
o When I’m dancing in a club, girls notice and start dancing around me.
o When I’m chilling somewhere, girls hover around me.
o When I’m talking to strangers, girls start listening and liking the conversation.
I usually do not open these girls, but the (rare) times that I did, I always **** it up. My mannerisms must be off. I suspect that I’m not being chill but direct. I wish I had a wingman who could help me with these blind spots.
More goals!
(Aside from game. Deadline: Have it in place at the end of this week.)
- Start another school project, plan it out and work around 2 days during the week and get ahead in school.
- Get a strabismus operation. My eyes are (slightly) off, when I look at pictures of myself it bothers ME so I want to get it fixed.
- Get braces for my teeth, let’s fix this **** inside my mouth. I’m also interested in gaming with bracers.
- Making my room girl friendly, I know (actually, I think) that I’m not ever pulling to my room, but just in the very slight off-chance that it does happen. I want it to be possible.
- Get a plan for starting a company. I’ve been talking with a couple of different people bouncing different idea’s. I think that I can make something happen so at the very least, I want to spend time on this.
- Getting my books sorted, I’ve got hundreds of books and I know that I won’t be reading a lot of them. I want to focus on a few that will help me with my current goals.
My approach changing
At first I wanted to go out 7 nights a week solo, but I notice that I must learn how to be chill and the places I’m currently visiting are unreliable as ****. So to handle this I can get a social circle going, **** it, If I must learn how to have fun let me do it with that I like. I’ve never created a social circle from scratch so I’ll be very interested in doing this. It’ll be a valuable learning experience anyway.
For now
I’m going out right now to the beach and clear my head. Let me think about this ****. I NEED to create structure and learn to let go when it can't be helped. Last week has been totally not what I expected and annoyed the **** out of me.