Robert.......you know,I typically agree with 99.999999999999999999% of everything you say......
but I'm gonna have to side with
the women on this one. Got various reasons as to why.
You can take a term and it’ll mean something COMPLETELY different between men and women. I was debating these two women tonight and couldn’t believe they couldn’t understand a guys point of view of a term they used to describe one of their guy friends. The term was “like family”. These two women were convinced that referring to a guy friend as “like family” was some high compliment, the ultimate of friendships.
Well.....it
KINDA IS like a high or "ultimate" compliment. If they used it towards
EVERY GUY they tried to befriend,ok....you're right. But if it's only sparingly.....towards someone they have a long-time/close friendship with,I can see why it'd be considered
higher than just an acquaintance they see from time to time. Now....look at what
YOU SAID..........
" they couldn’t understand a guys point of view of a term they used to describe
ONE OF their guy friends.
According TO YOU.....they applied the term to
ONE OF their guys friends.....not
to all.....not to each and every one of them.
So if they used the term rarely......like every now and then,I can see their point of it being considered a high compliment. It's not one I would ever want to hear if I were attracted to the girl,lol........but I can see their point.
I countered that it’s creepy and insulting.
Well Robert (and again...according
TO YOU),they're not using it to EVERY GUY they come across. If they were,I'd agree with it being creepy. But my understanding here is,it's applied only once in a blue moon.
And to be completely honest,if a guy ends up in a super close friendship with a girl and she sees him that way.......it is
HIS fault. Especially if he originally meant to get something sexual going on with her.
Of course the reeeeee’d saying I was immature and needed to “grow up”. I explained to them “if I EVER told any of my male friend ‘dude you’re like family’ or ‘dude you’re like my brother’ they would probably call me a homo”. Unless I’m on a team or my guy friend is dying before my eyes, guys don’t use terms like that towards each other.
Well......women are just that......women. You can't expect them to see/understand things from A MALE'S point of view....just like you're struggling to see it from theirs. They're actually making
SENSE.
Tell me.......do you think those women were virgins? Probably not. Well.....that means they've had sex. Ok....well? If they've had sex,do you think it was with one of those guys they considered to be "like family"? I
doubt it. Ok.......so that means they DON'T CONSIDER every guy they come across to be "like family"........and the "family" guy just happens every now and then.
You make it seem as if they were hunting down guys to make "like family".
And it's not like we guys don't do it too...we just do it in a manly/more masculine way. Have you ever called a male friend,"Bro"? Ever heard the phrase "Bros before höes"? You DO KNOW....that "bro" is short for
brother......right? We guys do it too.
But women? They seem hell bent on adopting every man that they befriend. Friendship isn’t good enough, no, they gotta make it weird and go that extra mile......like the guy is some adopted foreign exchange student they took off the streets and brought in.
Lol.....Robert....
Something tells me you've had a ROUGH HISTORY in the realm of women and dating. I seriously doubt this mindset all originated just from this reddit/online conversation you had a day ago.
They told me I was a sexist and a misogynist because I had issues with letting women get too close where they viewed me as a “brother” or “like family”.
Now here......I'm with you. I had the same issue in my past with women. I eventually figured what
I WAS DOING wrong (hence my name "Igetit!") and this hasn't been an issue for me in over 20 years. It's pretty simple,really.
They just saw YOUR PRESENT BEHAVIOR/ATTITUDE............that was created by
your past issues with women being too close. That's what they saw. They're not aware of the havoc it caused in your dating life. If they saw the issues it caused,they'd likely understand where you were coming from.
They couldn’t grasp that when women say that it’s basically saying “you’re so unworthy of dating me that I’m gonna family zone you so don’t get any ideas”.
I agree.......but the guy they say that to DIDN'T START OUT THERE.
NO MAN just out of the blue walks up to a girl he's never seen before/didn't know exist and she instantly pulls out the "you're like family to me" line. Approaches don't go like that. I've NEVER walked up to a complete stranger,who was a chick I was trying to talk to and her tell me I was like "a brother to her" after knowing her all of 2 seconds. You have to INVEST TIME and
incorrectly interact with the girl for her to give you that type of reaction.
Those women aren't talking about men who approached them out of the blue.......they're talking about guys THEY'VE KNOWN and been around for a while.
I hear what you're saying......but it REALLY IS the guy's fault if he
repeatedly gets this type of reaction out of women.
Look.......if you get rejected 50 times....and
all 50 times the girl said,"You're like family to me" during the rejection.......then I can understand you freaking out or overreacting just merely upon hearing the phrase........but RANDOM WOMEN having a discussion with you about the phrase aren't going to be aware of the negative association you got with it.
They use it every now and then. You got it tattoed in your mind from past rejections. Of course you two are gonna butt heads over it.