The cognitive dissonance of women is astounding

[Robert28]

You can take a term and it’ll mean something COMPLETELY different between men and women. I was debating these two women tonight and couldn’t believe they couldn’t understand a guys point of view of a term they used to describe one of their guy friends. The term was “like family”. These two women were convinced that referring to a guy friend as “like family” was some high compliment, the ultimate of friendships. I countered that it’s creepy and insulting. Of course the reeeeee’d saying I was immature and needed to “grow up”. I explained to them “if I EVER told any of my male friend ‘dude you’re like family’ or ‘dude you’re like my brother’ they would probably call me a homo”. Unless I’m on a team or my guy friend is dying before my eyes, guys don’t use terms like that towards each other. But women? They seem hell bent on adopting every man that they befriend. Friendship isn’t good enough, no, they gotta make it weird and go that extra mile......like the guy is some adopted foreign exchange student they took off the streets and brought in. They told me I was a sexist and a misogynist because I had issues with letting women get too close where they viewed me as a “brother” or “like family”. They couldn’t grasp that when women say that it’s basically saying “you’re so unworthy of dating me that I’m gonna family zone you so don’t get any ideas”. To men it’s the ultimate rejection but to women it’s supposedly the ultimate compliment, the super bowl of friendship, the highest honor. No wonder men and women can’t get along, we can’t even agree on the basic of sh!t.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It ensures guys they have no interest in would feel weird trying to make any type of move once they are viewed "like a brother". Basically a way to have guys reject themselves without them having to.

They know exactly what they are doing.

 

[Robert28]

It ensures guys they have no interest in would feel weird trying to make any type of move once they are viewed "like a brother". Basically a way to have guys reject themselves without them having to.

They know exactly what they are doing.

I pointed this out and of course they gave the old standby “you know not everything has to be about sex! If a guy doesn’t want to be friends with me because I consider him like family then he was just after sex and I’m better off not having guys in my life like that!”. I rolled my eyes. It’s like rejecting the guy isn’t enough, they want to take his masculinity away too and appear aloof while doing it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I pointed this out and of course they gave the old standby “you know not everything has to be about sex! If a guy doesn’t want to be friends with me because I consider him like family then he was just after sex and I’m better off not having guys in my life like that!”. I rolled my eyes. It’s like rejecting the guy isn’t enough, they want to take his masculinity away too and appear aloof while doing it.

Why would they ever admit it? They would be admitting to be manipulative and keeping guys around they can get help as needed...they probably have a car guy, a plumber guy, a handyman guy, etc...

 

[Robert28]

Why would they ever admit it? They would be admitting to be manipulative and keeping guys around they can get help as needed...they probably have a car guy, a plumber guy, a handyman guy, etc...

I should have delved in deeper and found that out but they were hating on me hard already because I wouldn’t “fall in line” with their convoluted way of thinking. There’s not a woman on this earth that’ll ever convince me being like family or being like a brother is a GOOD thing.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I should have delved in deeper and found that out but they were hating on me hard already because I wouldn’t “fall in line” with their convoluted way of thinking. There’s not a woman on this earth that’ll ever convince me being like family or being like a brother is a GOOD thing.

It is. For THEM. People care most about themselves, so for them it is a great thing.

 

[Robert28]

It is. For THEM. People care most about themselves, so for them it is a great thing.

I think they try to label these guys in terms like that as a way to make the guy thinks he has some special status. In turn the guy will stick around longer than a normal boyfriend or guy they just date, those come and go but if you can get you a guy who’s “like family” then you can milk him for a long time. That’s why they’re selling this bs as the ultimate label to achieve in friendship. How more guys don’t see this is beyond me.

 

[r4zorsharp]

Sorry to break it to ya but thats absolutely cringe that you chose to argue this. Like what an uptight thing to argue about. What the heck was your rationale behind it?

 

[Robert28]

Sorry to break it to ya but thats absolutely cringe that you chose to argue this. Like what an uptight thing to argue about. What the heck was your rationale behind it?

Oh this wasn’t in person, it was in a Reddit thread.lol My rationale behind it is the deception behind it, because let’s face it that’s what it is.

 

[MatureDJ]

I suppose you haven't heard of IncestMaxxing.

 

[r4zorsharp]

Oh this wasn’t in person, it was in a Reddit thread.lol My rationale behind it is the deception behind it, because let’s face it that’s what it is.

oh okay, a bit less cringe but still. who the **** cares what a girl calls a guy? like dude you know how much of a loser you sound arguing these type of things? .. its a common fuccin phrase "hes like family".. guys and girls say it.. you're the only awkward one man.. not anyone who says it. thats perfectly normal

 

[Igetit!]

Robert.......you know,I typically agree with 99.999999999999999999% of everything you say......

but I'm gonna have to side with the women on this one. Got various reasons as to why.

You can take a term and it’ll mean something COMPLETELY different between men and women. I was debating these two women tonight and couldn’t believe they couldn’t understand a guys point of view of a term they used to describe one of their guy friends. The term was “like family”. These two women were convinced that referring to a guy friend as “like family” was some high compliment, the ultimate of friendships.

Well.....it KINDA IS like a high or "ultimate" compliment. If they used it towards EVERY GUY they tried to befriend,ok....you're right. But if it's only sparingly.....towards someone they have a long-time/close friendship with,I can see why it'd be considered higher than just an acquaintance they see from time to time. Now....look at what YOU SAID..........


" they couldn’t understand a guys point of view of a term they used to describe ONE OF their guy friends.

According TO YOU.....they applied the term to ONE OF their guys friends.....not to all.....not to each and every one of them.

So if they used the term rarely......like every now and then,I can see their point of it being considered a high compliment. It's not one I would ever want to hear if I were attracted to the girl,lol........but I can see their point.

I countered that it’s creepy and insulting.

Well Robert (and again...according TO YOU),they're not using it to EVERY GUY they come across. If they were,I'd agree with it being creepy. But my understanding here is,it's applied only once in a blue moon.

And to be completely honest,if a guy ends up in a super close friendship with a girl and she sees him that way.......it is HIS fault. Especially if he originally meant to get something sexual going on with her.

Of course the reeeeee’d saying I was immature and needed to “grow up”. I explained to them “if I EVER told any of my male friend ‘dude you’re like family’ or ‘dude you’re like my brother’ they would probably call me a homo”. Unless I’m on a team or my guy friend is dying before my eyes, guys don’t use terms like that towards each other.

Well......women are just that......women. You can't expect them to see/understand things from A MALE'S point of view....just like you're struggling to see it from theirs. They're actually making SENSE.


Tell me.......do you think those women were virgins? Probably not. Well.....that means they've had sex. Ok....well? If they've had sex,do you think it was with one of those guys they considered to be "like family"? I doubt it. Ok.......so that means they DON'T CONSIDER every guy they come across to be "like family"........and the "family" guy just happens every now and then.

You make it seem as if they were hunting down guys to make "like family".


And it's not like we guys don't do it too...we just do it in a manly/more masculine way. Have you ever called a male friend,"Bro"? Ever heard the phrase "Bros before höes"? You DO KNOW....that "bro" is short for brother......right? We guys do it too.

But women? They seem hell bent on adopting every man that they befriend. Friendship isn’t good enough, no, they gotta make it weird and go that extra mile......like the guy is some adopted foreign exchange student they took off the streets and brought in.

Lol.....Robert....

Something tells me you've had a ROUGH HISTORY in the realm of women and dating. I seriously doubt this mindset all originated just from this reddit/online conversation you had a day ago.

They told me I was a sexist and a misogynist because I had issues with letting women get too close where they viewed me as a “brother” or “like family”.

Now here......I'm with you. I had the same issue in my past with women. I eventually figured what I WAS DOING wrong (hence my name "Igetit!") and this hasn't been an issue for me in over 20 years. It's pretty simple,really.

They just saw YOUR PRESENT BEHAVIOR/ATTITUDE............that was created by your past issues with women being too close. That's what they saw. They're not aware of the havoc it caused in your dating life. If they saw the issues it caused,they'd likely understand where you were coming from.

They couldn’t grasp that when women say that it’s basically saying “you’re so unworthy of dating me that I’m gonna family zone you so don’t get any ideas”.

I agree.......but the guy they say that to DIDN'T START OUT THERE.


NO MAN just out of the blue walks up to a girl he's never seen before/didn't know exist and she instantly pulls out the "you're like family to me" line. Approaches don't go like that. I've NEVER walked up to a complete stranger,who was a chick I was trying to talk to and her tell me I was like "a brother to her" after knowing her all of 2 seconds. You have to INVEST TIME and incorrectly interact with the girl for her to give you that type of reaction.

Those women aren't talking about men who approached them out of the blue.......they're talking about guys THEY'VE KNOWN and been around for a while.

I hear what you're saying......but it REALLY IS the guy's fault if he repeatedly gets this type of reaction out of women.


Look.......if you get rejected 50 times....and all 50 times the girl said,"You're like family to me" during the rejection.......then I can understand you freaking out or overreacting just merely upon hearing the phrase........but RANDOM WOMEN having a discussion with you about the phrase aren't going to be aware of the negative association you got with it.

They use it every now and then. You got it tattoed in your mind from past rejections. Of course you two are gonna butt heads over it.

 

[Epimanes]

Women interpret things way differently then men.... example...

She says to her gfs: "i have nothing to wear"
Her gfs reply: "oh well lets go shopping"

He says to his guy friends: "i have nothing to wear"
His guy friends say: "oh she didnt do your laundry either?

Lol

 

[bcude]

This sounds like a guy who just swallowed the red pill and is now enraged towards women to a point you've to debate them on nonsensical topics because you think they're evil creatures and all out to get you. Seriously, relax. I understand you posted it here to get validation of your world view but i agree with these women, your mindset seem immature.
Being called family is a compliment, it means i'm likeable and that makes me feel valued, a healthy human trait afaik.
'just a friend', on the other hand is a straight diss.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Any compliment that is not related to your look or masculinity is a soft rejection most of the times.

"you're the most loyal friend, you have my trust"

"what I like the most about you is your intelligence"

"i love you as a brother"


Now compare those previous 3 lines to the next 3:

"Assh0le you only date b1tches cause all you care is getting laid fast"

"you are dangerous"

"you may have a great body you you still have a sh1tty personality".

 

[bat soup]

You can take a term and it’ll mean something COMPLETELY different between men and women. I was debating these two women tonight and couldn’t believe they couldn’t understand a guys point of view of a term they used to describe one of their guy friends. The term was “like family”. These two women were convinced that referring to a guy friend as “like family” was some high compliment, the ultimate of friendships. I countered that it’s creepy and insulting. Of course the reeeeee’d saying I was immature and needed to “grow up”. I explained to them “if I EVER told any of my male friend ‘dude you’re like family’ or ‘dude you’re like my brother’ they would probably call me a homo”. Unless I’m on a team or my guy friend is dying before my eyes, guys don’t use terms like that towards each other. But women? They seem hell bent on adopting every man that they befriend. Friendship isn’t good enough, no, they gotta make it weird and go that extra mile......like the guy is some adopted foreign exchange student they took off the streets and brought in. They told me I was a sexist and a misogynist because I had issues with letting women get too close where they viewed me as a “brother” or “like family”. They couldn’t grasp that when women say that it’s basically saying “you’re so unworthy of dating me that I’m gonna family zone you so don’t get any ideas”. To men it’s the ultimate rejection but to women it’s supposedly the ultimate compliment, the super bowl of friendship, the highest honor. No wonder men and women can’t get along, we can’t even agree on the basic of sh!t.

Women are all about emotion. This is why you can't have a rational debate with them about anything and you'll get burnt if you try.

 

[bat soup]

The real truth is that they want to take advantage of and use these guys that they "adopt", but since it benefits them they see it as a good thing.

Deep down they know perfectly well that they are using them.

 

[bat soup]

The way women use language is different to men. Men care about actually getting to the truth, whilst women care more about social harmony and avoiding confrontation.

This is why they tend not to be direct or actually say what they mean. Your directness is intolerable to them. How dare you speak the truth so openly and make them look bad?

 

[bat soup]

I think they try to label these guys in terms like that as a way to make the guy thinks he has some special status. In turn the guy will stick around longer than a normal boyfriend or guy they just date, those come and go but if you can get you a guy who’s “like family” then you can milk him for a long time. That’s why they’re selling this bs as the ultimate label to achieve in friendship. How more guys don’t see this is beyond me.

Those labels also give them a status that they don't deserve. What right do they have to be considered as a sistervor as a friend when in reality they're just a chick you want to bang?

 

[Robert28]

oh okay, a bit less cringe but still. who the **** cares what a girl calls a guy? like dude you know how much of a loser you sound arguing these type of things? .. its a common fuccin phrase "hes like family".. guys and girls say it.. you're the only awkward one man.. not anyone who says it. thats perfectly normal

No guy I know has ever said it. I may sound like a loser to some over this but I still stand by my thoughts on it, no one will ever change my mind. It’s like the friendzone dressed up in some fancy name.....like when the government calls a tax a “fee”. No, it’s a tax. Just like this is an insulting way to tell a guy he’s friendzoned. You’re never going to convince me that men and women can be friends and this is one of many examples why.