//The Chronicles of BPH\\

BPH

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That's why you've been successful. You are top tier on looks.
Yeah, considering how much I hate my financial and living situation, I do count my blessings. This is why I tried to go the modeling route...figured if I'm going to strict diet and work out like this, might as well try to paid for it too. Shame that didn't go to plan.

Most men have a match percentage of under 1% on their right swipes. If you are at 10% matches on your right swipes, that's really good.
Most men also swipe a lot more. I have some friends that would get Tinder Gold and just swipe right on everybody and filter out who they match with after the fact. There's a limit for the free version, and 10% might be a high estimate. The point is that dating apps are not something I would ever rely on, with a pleasant surprise every so often.

I did read. That's a good lifetime resume in seduction. You need your own 1 bedroom apartment and you're set.
Definitely in agreement on that point.
 

SW15

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You need your own 1 bedroom apartment and you're set.
Definitely in agreement on that point.
With your physique, you would be more likely to be able to get away with an adequate 1 bedroom apartment in a decent area rather than an above average to excellent 1 bedroom apartment. That would save you some money on rent.

At one point in time, I upgraded from an adequate one bedroom apartment to an above average one bedroom apartment and have stayed in the above average class. There were other reasons besides poontang that explain why I made the upgrade. I did get laid in my adequate level one bedroom apartments but the market started to expect me to have a superior one bedroom apartment at a certain age.

In most larger US cities, women judge a male apartment renter somewhat harshly once he's around 30-35. He's expected to have at least a better than average apartment once he's that age. I felt that market pressure and feedback so that's why I upgraded.

Some unattached men in their 30s have condominiums/townhomes or detached single family houses too. Those can either be owned or rented.
 

nicksaiz65

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I’m obviously biased but maybe you’d be open to a career in software engineering?

Several of the people on my team don’t have degrees in a related field, and it pays quite well. If you could get a remote job that remedies a lot of the corporate 9-5 BS
 

BPH

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I’m obviously biased but maybe you’d be open to a career in software engineering?

Several of the people on my team don’t have degrees in a related field, and it pays quite well. If you could get a remote job that remedies a lot of the corporate 9-5 BS
Can't say I know enough about it to have an opinion, really. Just that my experience beyond being tech savvy on my computer and with certain programs would probably be considered quite limited.
 

nicksaiz65

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Can't say I know enough about it to have an opinion, really. Just that my experience beyond being tech savvy on my computer and with certain programs would probably be considered quite limited.
It’d take a **** ton of studying and work, but if you could do it I’d recommend it. Starting salaries at AirBnB are around 200K.

Do whatever you can to have a remote job and stay tf out of that office tho lol
 

SW15

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Do whatever you can to have a remote job and stay tf out of that office tho lol
The environment of white collar office work stinks for the most part. It stinks worse when you're going into the office.

Let's consider white collar work from a social standpoint.

In white collar work, it is unlikely for men to find dates/extended relationships within their workplace. HR Departments have done their best to eliminate the romantic/sexual component from workplaces. Most HR reps are feminist women too so if you get accused of anything (usually some bogus harrassment claim) as a heterosexual male, you won't get due process. This is a trend that started around the 1990s, which coincides with the decline in workplace formed romantic relationships (see below). The white collar workplace is essentially dead for finding romance. There are really only 2 ways now that a man can find romance as a result of showing up to a white collar office workplace....
  • He can approach women who work at other companies in the same building if he works in a multi-story, multi-tenant office building. HR departments have no jurisdictions on this. It's possible to get dates using this tactic but like any stranger approach method, it's inefficient and time consuming. The best aspect of this is that you get to approach the women you want when you see them. This was a viable option in the 2000s-2010s, but becoming less viable now with more white collar workers working at home for at least a couple days a week.
  • He can build decent acquaintance/friendships with his female co-workers and hope he'll get an introduction to one of their single friends. If he actually gets the introduction, then that's more productive than doing stranger approaches within common areas of the office building. The problem is that most office worker women won't have viable candidates for introductions. A good portion of office worker women are married women (often married women with children) who live in a married woman/married woman with children bubble. That means most of her social acquaintances are other married women with children. Some offices do have unmarried women under 35, but a good portion of them are in relationships. The longer they've been in relationships, the weaker their social circle is with unmarried and available women. Sometimes your co-worker women will have an available woman open to an introduction, but she might be overweight or a single mom. @MatureDJ has mentioned having instances where he received some social circle/workplace acquaintance introductions to the least desirable single women out there.
Given the nature of the white collar workplace, it's better to work remotely if you have a white collar job. If a man works in the office now, he has to endure some unpleasant commute for a bad social environment. The work itself is often not so great either.

In many ways, I recommend blue collar work. With blue collar worker or service sector McJobs, it is totally acceptable to hit on women within your workplace. There are reasons why bouncers at nightlife venues are able to have sex with strippers and female bartenders.

How Heterosexual Couples Meet.jpg

Just that my experience beyond being tech savvy on my computer and with certain programs would probably be considered quite limited.
What was your field of study for your bachelor's degree?
 

BPH

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The environment of white collar office work stinks for the most part. It stinks worse when you're going into the office.

Let's consider white collar work from a social standpoint.

In white collar work, it is unlikely for men to find dates/extended relationships within their workplace. HR Departments have done their best to eliminate the romantic/sexual component from workplaces. Most HR reps are feminist women too so if you get accused of anything (usually some bogus harrassment claim) as a heterosexual male, you won't get due process. This is a trend that started around the 1990s, which coincides with the decline in workplace formed romantic relationships (see below). The white collar workplace is essentially dead for finding romance. There are really only 2 ways now that a man can find romance as a result of showing up to a white collar office workplace....
  • He can approach women who work at other companies in the same building if he works in a multi-story, multi-tenant office building. HR departments have no jurisdictions on this. It's possible to get dates using this tactic but like any stranger approach method, it's inefficient and time consuming. The best aspect of this is that you get to approach the women you want when you see them. This was a viable option in the 2000s-2010s, but becoming less viable now with more white collar workers working at home for at least a couple days a week.
  • He can build decent acquaintance/friendships with his female co-workers and hope he'll get an introduction to one of their single friends. If he actually gets the introduction, then that's more productive than doing stranger approaches within common areas of the office building. The problem is that most office worker women won't have viable candidates for introductions. A good portion of office worker women are married women (often married women with children) who live in a married woman/married woman with children bubble. That means most of her social acquaintances are other married women with children. Some offices do have unmarried women under 35, but a good portion of them are in relationships. The longer they've been in relationships, the weaker their social circle is with unmarried and available women. Sometimes your co-worker women will have an available woman open to an introduction, but she might be overweight or a single mom. @MatureDJ has mentioned having instances where he received some social circle/workplace acquaintance introductions to the least desirable single women out there.
Given the nature of the white collar workplace, it's better to work remotely if you have a white collar job. If a man works in the office now, he has to endure some unpleasant commute for a bad social environment. The work itself is often not so great either.

In many ways, I recommend blue collar work. With blue collar worker or service sector McJobs, it is totally acceptable to hit on women within your workplace. There are reasons why bouncers at nightlife venues are able to have sex with strippers and female bartenders.

View attachment 10513



What was your field of study for your bachelor's degree?
First of all, holy hell that analysis. I mean, I wouldn't rely on my workplace to meet women. I know a lot of people DO in this day and age, and that's fine, but this is the same reason I didn't really go for women in my friend group; they simply weren't up to the standard that I wanted, so I had to go out and find them myself via cold approaching and bars and stuff.

Second, to answer your question, Behavioral Health & Nutrition, technically a science degree that's an offshoot of Exercise Science with more emphasis on nutrition and less on chemistry.
 

SW15

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Behavioral Health & Nutrition, technically a science degree that's an offshoot of Exercise Science with more emphasis on nutrition and less on chemistry.
That's a tough degree to work with but I can think of some career paths.

I guess you couldn't be a dietitian with that training. Is that correct?

I think you would be excellent in medical sales with your looks/physique and your moderate science exposure. You could have done (and could still do) either medical device or pharma sales with that background. If you're 6'0" and good looking, that can help you as a sales rep. You have had the "sales skills" to get 90 women to have had sex with you. There is some commonality between sales and seduction, as there is commonality between marketing and seduction. The fact that you were able to get sex (something of value) from 90 women is an achievement and a transferable skill to getting something of value (money) from a medical device sale to a doctor or more prescriptions written for a prescription drug.
 
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NorwegianDJ

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B, I read all of the posts you wrote since Thursday.

Beyond that, I don't know if I can speak with you in a manner that is useful for you.
I see the world quite differently from the words you are writing.
But I suppose I also know what it is like to be a coming-of-age bachelor that has taken a long time to step out of the nest.
The first word in your journal is my name, which I find so endearing. Our time together here binds us, so here I am.

Honestly, what comes to me is that,
Perhaps rather than continuing to live a life that you hate, you could just drop it all.
Because what I'm hearing is that you are and have always been focused on succeeding - whatever shape that takes for you.
What I am reading now is that you have tried and failed and you're looking for your next venture: but you don't know where to look.

My experience is similar, in that looking deeply into the future is a failed venture.
The best you can do is the next right thing, and to keep doing that.
Again: I think you should leave this all behind.
I think that if you come to find that you're happier than you are now after you've given up everything you have, then have solid ground to stand on.

Ask different questions. Expose yourself to different people and different information, because you are risking repeating the last years into your 30s, and that's going to hurt exponentially worse as you get older.

Leave Delaware?
Leave your parents' house and move to a cheaper country with interesting culture?
Work a job that activates your inner life forces. Something that uses your hands, your people skills, something that humbles you, or that gets your creative juices flowing. A place where you are in a good atmosphere and can spend your time doing something that makes you feel full at the end of a day. Somewhere where you spend your days around people that make you feel good inside or that inspire you or teach you something new or challenge you.
Discomfort.

Because comfort murders the passion of the soul and walks grinning in the funeral.
Your incentives are skewed. You don't pay rent. You get laid just enough. You get paid just enough to get by. You're caught between the carrot and the stick.
You'd be better off if you had it worse - something which is happening to you now. Because then you'd actually make big changes to your situation. And big changes can be easier than small, incremental ones.

Ask different questions.
What does the design of your life look like?
How can you feel the effects of counting on yourself, while being connected to other people and having a place of belonging?
What does life look like beyond covertly manipulating other people to get your needs met?
How can you feel like you matter? Because experiences and things are great, but to belong and to connect to ourselves and others, and to matter: that is what makes a life worth living.

What metrics are you focused on, and how does that reflect in your life?
What metrics could you be focused on, and how would that be reflected in your life?
Is life about spinning plates going forward? Is it about making dough?

Love, heartbreak, and a constant humbling forever changed my life.
I'm still a narcissistic young man, but there's a lot of soft space inside that bubble.
There's so much magic waiting in the wings, if you open yourself up to believing in the poetry of life.
Because you've got to believe in the poetry.
Why are you breathing?

I apologize for my "standing up here and talking down to you" writing style. It is what it is and I hope you still find it in yourself to find interest and curiosity to the questions I am presenting and the possibilities that are hiding just behind the next right thing.

Your friend,
NDJ.
 

MatureDJ

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First of all, holy hell that analysis. I mean, I wouldn't rely on my workplace to meet women. I know a lot of people DO in this day and age, and that's fine, but this is the same reason I didn't really go for women in my friend group; they simply weren't up to the standard that I wanted, so I had to go out and find them myself via cold approaching and bars and stuff.

Second, to answer your question, Behavioral Health & Nutrition, technically a science degree that's an offshoot of Exercise Science with more emphasis on nutrition and less on chemistry.
It used to be that a bachelor with a good professional job would have his female colleagues have all her friends constantly being asked to get introduced to anyone at work; or alternatively, the colleague would have a garden party where every man who was invited (that wasn't already married, wearing a ring) would be a very eligible bachelor that the single women talking with him would be strongly hint that she is single - and these women would not be fat or single mommies, and even the short bachelor would get a lot of interest. :mad: Now there is no demand by such marriageable women to meet Normie professional bachelors.
 

SW15

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It used to be that a bachelor with a good professional job would have his female colleagues have all her friends constantly being asked to get introduced to anyone at work; or alternatively, the colleague would have a garden party where every man who was invited (that wasn't already married, wearing a ring) would be a very eligible bachelor that the single women talking with him would be strongly hint that she is single - and these women would not be fat or single mommies, and even the short bachelor would get a lot of interest. :mad: Now there is no demand by such marriageable women to meet Normie professional bachelors.
This is interesting.

Yes, working women in white collar environments used to be more proactive in introducing their female friends to normie (or better) bachelor men. That doesn't happen anymore and hasn't happened much since at least the 1990s. I graduated college in 2005 and I haven't seen this happen to me or anyone I know within the working environment. When do you think that practice ended? I see that as a practice of the mid-1960s to the mid-1990s.

There's an episode of Melrose Place in the mid-1990s where one office worker and main MP character (Alison) introduces her neighbor MP character (Jane) to a normie guy at her workplace. It's an extremely awkward and cringe date and that guy had Aspie characteristics.


White collar worker women today rarely facilitate introductions. On the rare occasions that introductions are offered, the male bachelor is being offered an introduction to an overweight woman and/or a single mom.

The normie professional bachelor today doesn't get any offers. He barely knows his female co-workers and doesn't want to talk about anything that could possibly draw the ire of the HR Department. Working relationships barely have enough depth for women in the workplace to know much about their normie professional bachelor colleague. Younger normie bachelors don't have that impressive of a salary in most cases and the 30s/early 40s bachelors who are mid-senior level (higher level individual contributors or middle managers) aren't particular desired. In @jaymbrs thread from April 2023 (below), these are typically guys with salaries in the $75k - $125k salaries.

 

BPH

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It’d take a **** ton of studying and work, but if you could do it I’d recommend it. Starting salaries at AirBnB are around 200K.

Do whatever you can to have a remote job and stay tf out of that office tho lol
Is that what you yourself do?

That's a tough degree to work with but I can think of some career paths.

I guess you couldn't be a dietitian with that training. Is that correct?

I think you would be excellent in medical sales with your looks/physique and your moderate science exposure. You could have done (and could still do) either medical device or pharma sales with that background. If you're 6'0" and good looking, that can help you as a sales rep. You have had the "sales skills" to get 90 women to have had sex with you. There is some commonality between sales and seduction, as there is commonality between marketing and seduction. The fact that you were able to get sex (something of value) from 90 women is an achievement and a transferable skill to getting something of value (money) from a medical device sale to a doctor or more prescriptions written for a prescription drug.
The guy I work with for medical marijuana has tried that a few times. He's an entrepreneur and does these ventures, one of which involved us trying to reach out to doctor's offices that do wound treatment in order to have them use a highly reimbursable skin patch. Over the course of several months, my job was to make appointments for lunches with these offices, which I was quite good at, but we stopped doing that after not too long because we were spending a lot of time and money on lunches and I don't know whether we had zero commitments or just a small few.

One of my cousins dated a guy who made a good living doing medical sales and connected me with him to see if it was something I'd enjoy doing. That "connection" was really just a half-assed "you can apply if you want to" kinda thing; no guidance or anything, just an Indeed invitation.

I believe some of my cousins in North Carolina do something similar now, but I don't know enough about it. One of them makes good money so I can ask him what his role is and see if I can learn anything about whether it aligns with my goals.

That said, I don't think my degree is really that important...I went the route I did because I transferred after my sophomore year and had to change majors since I wanted to graduate in four years with SOMETHING rather than put myself in more debt, requiring I take summer and winter session classes both years at the school I graduated from. Plus at the mortgage job, I was the only one in my class without a finance degree and that didn't seem to play much of a part in their hiring process - especially since they kept me on after I didn't pass the first test.

Basically, I'm not limiting myself based on the jobs my specific degree leads to.


B, I read all of the posts you wrote since Thursday.

Beyond that, I don't know if I can speak with you in a manner that is useful for you.
I see the world quite differently from the words you are writing.
But I suppose I also know what it is like to be a coming-of-age bachelor that has taken a long time to step out of the nest.
The first word in your journal is my name, which I find so endearing. Our time together here binds us, so here I am.

Honestly, what comes to me is that,
Perhaps rather than continuing to live a life that you hate, you could just drop it all.
Because what I'm hearing is that you are and have always been focused on succeeding - whatever shape that takes for you.
What I am reading now is that you have tried and failed and you're looking for your next venture: but you don't know where to look.

My experience is similar, in that looking deeply into the future is a failed venture.
The best you can do is the next right thing, and to keep doing that.
Again: I think you should leave this all behind.
I think that if you come to find that you're happier than you are now after you've given up everything you have, then have solid ground to stand on.

Ask different questions. Expose yourself to different people and different information, because you are risking repeating the last years into your 30s, and that's going to hurt exponentially worse as you get older.

Leave Delaware?
Leave your parents' house and move to a cheaper country with interesting culture?
Work a job that activates your inner life forces. Something that uses your hands, your people skills, something that humbles you, or that gets your creative juices flowing. A place where you are in a good atmosphere and can spend your time doing something that makes you feel full at the end of a day. Somewhere where you spend your days around people that make you feel good inside or that inspire you or teach you something new or challenge you.
Discomfort.

Because comfort murders the passion of the soul and walks grinning in the funeral.
Your incentives are skewed. You don't pay rent. You get laid just enough. You get paid just enough to get by. You're caught between the carrot and the stick.
You'd be better off if you had it worse - something which is happening to you now. Because then you'd actually make big changes to your situation. And big changes can be easier than small, incremental ones.

Ask different questions.
What does the design of your life look like?
How can you feel the effects of counting on yourself, while being connected to other people and having a place of belonging?
What does life look like beyond covertly manipulating other people to get your needs met?
How can you feel like you matter? Because experiences and things are great, but to belong and to connect to ourselves and others, and to matter: that is what makes a life worth living.

What metrics are you focused on, and how does that reflect in your life?
What metrics could you be focused on, and how would that be reflected in your life?
Is life about spinning plates going forward? Is it about making dough?

Love, heartbreak, and a constant humbling forever changed my life.
I'm still a narcissistic young man, but there's a lot of soft space inside that bubble.
There's so much magic waiting in the wings, if you open yourself up to believing in the poetry of life.
Because you've got to believe in the poetry.
Why are you breathing?

I apologize for my "standing up here and talking down to you" writing style. It is what it is and I hope you still find it in yourself to find interest and curiosity to the questions I am presenting and the possibilities that are hiding just behind the next right thing.

Your friend,
NDJ.
Well, would you look at that...didn't think you were still around.

I appreciate the reply, and it's funny you mention just "dropping it all" because my mom keeps saying she thinks that's what I, and to a lesser extent, my brother, could use. That's also why I was considering visiting parts of Miami or Arizona around my birthday a few months ago to try and get a feel for whether I would like to live there. The problem I see with this is that I don't have a plan...like yeah maybe that's the point but USUALLY people at least have some sort of job lined up so they know they'll be able to eat and can afford rent or something. I find her approach a bit romantic, but maybe unrealistic. What I will say is I don't think I'll be far outside my comfort zone when it comes to meeting women and making new friends, since most of that happens cold or by association at the gym anyway.

What I'm excited about right now is actually the garage flooring business...because if I can absolutely kill it...I can make good money with that. I already know how to reach commercial entities and businesses because I had to do that for my email campaigns, so I'm thinking I might be able to tweak that to get more commercial rather than residential clients - since that 10% commission applies the same. I think I mentioned the other sales guy got $3,800 in commission for one job at a wedding hall. If I can get something like that or MULTIPLE somethings like that, I'd be making almost half of what I made all year working for the marijuana spot, each and every job.

But yes, the fact that I'm in this position still does grind away at me. I remember talking to my parents when I first moved back and told them in October how I thought I would be moved back out and working somewhere by Spring...and now it's years later...
 

BPH

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Second reply because character limit...

It used to be that a bachelor with a good professional job would have his female colleagues have all her friends constantly being asked to get introduced to anyone at work; or alternatively, the colleague would have a garden party where every man who was invited (that wasn't already married, wearing a ring) would be a very eligible bachelor that the single women talking with him would be strongly hint that she is single - and these women would not be fat or single mommies, and even the short bachelor would get a lot of interest. :mad: Now there is no demand by such marriageable women to meet Normie professional bachelors.
Thing is, I don't have a good professional job :rofl:

This is interesting.

Yes, working women in white collar environments used to be more proactive in introducing their female friends to normie (or better) bachelor men. That doesn't happen anymore and hasn't happened much since at least the 1990s. I graduated college in 2005 and I haven't seen this happen to me or anyone I know within the working environment. When do you think that practice ended? I see that as a practice of the mid-1960s to the mid-1990s.

There's an episode of Melrose Place in the mid-1990s where one office worker and main MP character (Alison) introduces her neighbor MP character (Jane) to a normie guy at her workplace. It's an extremely awkward and cringe date and that guy had Aspie characteristics.


White collar worker women today rarely facilitate introductions. On the rare occasions that introductions are offered, the male bachelor is being offered an introduction to an overweight woman and/or a single mom.

The normie professional bachelor today doesn't get any offers. He barely knows his female co-workers and doesn't want to talk about anything that could possibly draw the ire of the HR Department. Working relationships barely have enough depth for women in the workplace to know much about their normie professional bachelor colleague. Younger normie bachelors don't have that impressive of a salary in most cases and the 30s/early 40s bachelors who are mid-senior level (higher level individual contributors or middle managers) aren't particular desired. In @jaymbrs thread from April 2023 (below), these are typically guys with salaries in the $75k - $125k salaries.

I don't know if you watch Aba and Preach on YouTube, but they do some reaction videos. There's a really telltale video about them reacting to Courtney Ryan (semi red pill female "coach") telling them the average and upper-income brackets of men compared to what they deemed "acceptable". It's about what you would expect...
 

SW15

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I don't know if you watch Aba and Preach on YouTube, but they do some reaction videos. There's a really telltale video about them reacting to Courtney Ryan (semi red pill female "coach") telling them the average and upper-income brackets of men compared to what they deemed "acceptable". It's about what you would expect...

There's a good Courtney Ryan thread here.....


I don't think my degree is really that important...I went the route I did because I transferred after my sophomore year and had to change majors since I wanted to graduate in four years with SOMETHING rather than put myself in more debt, requiring I take summer and winter session classes both years at the school I graduated from. Plus at the mortgage job, I was the only one in my class without a finance degree and that didn't seem to play much of a part in their hiring process - especially since they kept me on after I didn't pass the first test.
The most important thing is that you mastered college sex.....


The academic elements of college are tough to master. Big, public universities have terrible bureaucracies. 200-300 person classes can stink too.

I considered transferring in the 2nd semester of my sophomore year but stayed.

I wouldn't have chosen the same school for undergrad if I had to do it all over again. Might have also transferred too at end of sophomore year but wouldn't have been in that position if I chose differently for my initial college choice.

You can sell. I'm confident in that. Any guy with a 90 notch count can sell.
 
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BPH

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There's a good Courtney Ryan thread here.....

Oh I don't regularly watch her or follow her takes on things, I assume she exists in a similar niche as JustPearlyThings.

But the video in reference just agrees with Mature's statement, which I also agree with, because every woman thinks she's a 10 and that they would be "settling" for somebody who makes several hundred thousand rather than several million. I would say this is a result of social media, OnlyFans, and dating apps.
 

SW15

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I assume she exists in a similar niche as JustPearlyThings.
That's accurate.

every woman thinks she's a 10 and that they would be "settling" for somebody who makes several hundred thousand rather than several million. I would say this is a result of social media, OnlyFans, and dating apps.
This element exists. It's difficult to say how common it is because I think there's some sensationalism for views and comments. Many women do overvalue themselves in part due to the abundance of dating apps, social media, and OnlyFans if they use the site.
 
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nicksaiz65

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Is that what you yourself do?



The guy I work with for medical marijuana has tried that a few times. He's an entrepreneur and does these ventures, one of which involved us trying to reach out to doctor's offices that do wound treatment in order to have them use a highly reimbursable skin patch. Over the course of several months, my job was to make appointments for lunches with these offices, which I was quite good at, but we stopped doing that after not too long because we were spending a lot of time and money on lunches and I don't know whether we had zero commitments or just a small few.

One of my cousins dated a guy who made a good living doing medical sales and connected me with him to see if it was something I'd enjoy doing. That "connection" was really just a half-assed "you can apply if you want to" kinda thing; no guidance or anything, just an Indeed invitation.

I believe some of my cousins in North Carolina do something similar now, but I don't know enough about it. One of them makes good money so I can ask him what his role is and see if I can learn anything about whether it aligns with my goals.

That said, I don't think my degree is really that important...I went the route I did because I transferred after my sophomore year and had to change majors since I wanted to graduate in four years with SOMETHING rather than put myself in more debt, requiring I take summer and winter session classes both years at the school I graduated from. Plus at the mortgage job, I was the only one in my class without a finance degree and that didn't seem to play much of a part in their hiring process - especially since they kept me on after I didn't pass the first test.

Basically, I'm not limiting myself based on the jobs my specific degree leads to.




Well, would you look at that...didn't think you were still around.

I appreciate the reply, and it's funny you mention just "dropping it all" because my mom keeps saying she thinks that's what I, and to a lesser extent, my brother, could use. That's also why I was considering visiting parts of Miami or Arizona around my birthday a few months ago to try and get a feel for whether I would like to live there. The problem I see with this is that I don't have a plan...like yeah maybe that's the point but USUALLY people at least have some sort of job lined up so they know they'll be able to eat and can afford rent or something. I find her approach a bit romantic, but maybe unrealistic. What I will say is I don't think I'll be far outside my comfort zone when it comes to meeting women and making new friends, since most of that happens cold or by association at the gym anyway.

What I'm excited about right now is actually the garage flooring business...because if I can absolutely kill it...I can make good money with that. I already know how to reach commercial entities and businesses because I had to do that for my email campaigns, so I'm thinking I might be able to tweak that to get more commercial rather than residential clients - since that 10% commission applies the same. I think I mentioned the other sales guy got $3,800 in commission for one job at a wedding hall. If I can get something like that or MULTIPLE somethings like that, I'd be making almost half of what I made all year working for the marijuana spot, each and every job.

But yes, the fact that I'm in this position still does grind away at me. I remember talking to my parents when I first moved back and told them in October how I thought I would be moved back out and working somewhere by Spring...and now it's years later...
Yeah, I personally do software engineering. I don’t make 200K though yet lol. You go in to the office like maybe once a week to meet the team for lunch. This has allowed me to keep my sanity, along with the 7-3 schedule I work.

AirBnB is my next target but I currently do web development work.

Sounds like you have a good thing going with your contracting/flooring man!
 

NorwegianDJ

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Well, would you look at that...didn't think you were still around.

I appreciate the reply, and it's funny you mention just "dropping it all" because my mom keeps saying she thinks that's what I, and to a lesser extent, my brother, could use. That's also why I was considering visiting parts of Miami or Arizona around my birthday a few months ago to try and get a feel for whether I would like to live there. The problem I see with this is that I don't have a plan...like yeah maybe that's the point but USUALLY people at least have some sort of job lined up so they know they'll be able to eat and can afford rent or something. I find her approach a bit romantic, but maybe unrealistic. What I will say is I don't think I'll be far outside my comfort zone when it comes to meeting women and making new friends, since most of that happens cold or by association at the gym anyway.

What I'm excited about right now is actually the garage flooring business...because if I can absolutely kill it...I can make good money with that. I already know how to reach commercial entities and businesses because I had to do that for my email campaigns, so I'm thinking I might be able to tweak that to get more commercial rather than residential clients - since that 10% commission applies the same. I think I mentioned the other sales guy got $3,800 in commission for one job at a wedding hall. If I can get something like that or MULTIPLE somethings like that, I'd be making almost half of what I made all year working for the marijuana spot, each and every job.

But yes, the fact that I'm in this position still does grind away at me. I remember talking to my parents when I first moved back and told them in October how I thought I would be moved back out and working somewhere by Spring...and now it's years later...
I do post in my journal from time to time - it's a good read, should you have the patience.
I just so happened to browse the forum and see your journal pop up for the first time in 8 years, so.

The thing about the plan is that it doesn't reveal itself to you before you commit.
Moreover, leave the country, not just your state.
Because then you don't need a plan or a job lined up. Worst case you work at a hostel for food and lodging.
The only risk is that of not being able to let go of old desires and expectations, of refusing to receive what's being given to you.

What's the bigger risk?
To uproot yourself and plant yourself anew,
or to double down on the same efforts that got you here?
In your own words you say that you don't want to rely on other people, but what I'm hearing is that you want to go into another commission business, all of which you have been tirelessly disappointed by your reliance on other people that you have no relationship with.

I'm not pushing the "moving away thing" too hard, but it's a theme in your life, being in Delaware and doing your thing.
I just wonder what'll happen to you when your beauty falters and the ground that you've built for yourself falls apart.
Because it will. And by that point you better either be equanimous, ready to grieve, or have built another sandcastle to hold you up.

But I feel like I understand the big picture of why you make the choices you make.
There are two quick ways out of your situation, and they are either a big success or a relinquishing of your efforts and admitting defeat.


Defeat, my Defeat, my solitude and my aloofness;
You are dearer to me than a thousand triumphs,
And sweeter to my heart than all world-glory.

Defeat, my Defeat, my self-knowledge and my defiance,
Through you I know that I am yet young and swift of foot
And not to be trapped by withering laurels.
And in you I have found aloneness
And the joy of being shunned and scorned.

Defeat, my Defeat, my shining sword and shield,
In your eyes I have read
That to be enthroned is to be enslaved,
And to be understood is to be leveled down,
And to be grasped is but to reach one’s fullness
And like a ripe fruit to fall and be consumed.

Defeat, my Defeat, my bold companion,
You shall hear my songs and my cries and my silences,
And none but you shall speak to me of the beating of wings,
And urging of seas,
And of mountains that burn in the night,
And you alone shall climb my steep and rocky soul.

Defeat, my Defeat, my deathless courage,
You and I shall laugh together with the storm,
And together we shall dig graves for all that die in us,
And we shall stand in the sun with a will,
And we shall be dangerous.​
 

cal800

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I'm just reading your thread its great. Love how you progressed.
 
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SW15

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Goals:

9. I want to get laid
10. Refer to 9 and multiply by 100
You nearly achieved this with a 90 notch count at present. The fact that you've had sex 90 women is more women than you could have imagined seducing back in 2011.
 
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