So.. here's what happened to get me to post in the first place

[reset]

Once you've fallen, you USE these women to play out your emotional dramas. You're looking for a girl to come and mother you and make everything better, to come and rescue you from your own pain. That's why when you meet a girl, you can't fall in love fast ENOUGH. She's got the magic potion that can cure you.

You're pushing them away by doing this, scaring them. No chick wants that burden. They want a guy who has his crap together. They aren't expecting PERFECTION, but being a guy who can handle his own emotions... is a hell of a start. And it's tough. I was the same way, looking for a girl to save me from myself.

It doesn't work. Also consider that you could be addicted to this drama, and the use of therapy can postpone the solution indefinitely, meaning you never have to truly confront this stuff... after all it's out of your control now, it's in the hands of the therapist. Just like you put it in the hands of the girl.

And here you are playing victim AGAIN. Get your head out of your ass. Aside from a few trolls, most of the guys on this board are here to help each other. Everything in this thread, even though not sugar coated so as to protect your fragile ego, has been posted in order to HELP YOU see the light.

Toughen up.

 

[Pillag3r]

Couldn't have said it better myself. ^

 

[NickBe]

Think whatever you want. Whatever makes you feel like the big man inside.

It's not that I don't want help. I just don't want YOUR help because I don't agree with YOUR specific outlook.

YOU don't know me.

Neither does anyone else, and i have ex's that'll easily prove you wrong.

Feel? I do not feel anything inside.

 

[jackofasses]

Feel? I do not feel anything inside.

Look, i enjoy having emotions. I enjoy being able to feel love, pain, hurt, regret, hope, joy, happiness. Even though some of those feeling suck it lets me know that i am human.

I wasn't looking to be saved when i met this girl. I was getting my **** together, I have a job i enjoy (although it doesn't pay much but it's a fun ass job) looking at moving back into my own place. Was feeling alot better about myself. I had had it up to my ****in hears in drama. And as i keep saying, I swore off girls like a month and a half before I started talking to her. It was just something random that happened.

I know that i lack emotional control, I have ALWAYS known it and I have tried to control it. I've learned to bite back on ALOT of the hurtful things I say to girls but sometimes it's just too much. I know it's because i get hurt easily or because I feel targetted and cornered (fight or flight reflex) so I snap and fight back.

I know ALL of this. I don't know WHY it happens. I don't know why I subconsciously sabotage EVERYTHING I do.

It's not about whether or not she is on the internet, whether or not i met her face to face. I am not going to discount how I feel and treat it as nothing just because people are trying to rationalize why i shouldn't feel this way. I can name a thousand reasons why I shouldn't feel this way but the point is that I DO feel this way and it is a direct result of my actions towards others. Not because I feel in love, not because of the speed in which I FELL in love, nor because of whom I fell in love WITH.

this is about me being in control of myself, knowing i ****ed up, and trying to fix it. Yeah, she may never come back, but you know what, I hope she ****ing does. I hope that WHEN she does that I am the man she FELL in love with and even better than that. Would I take her back? I don't even know now.. after all this **** I ****in doubt it, then again, there was alot of good **** until *I* ****ed it up. She was going to be here SATURDAY. **** went to hell less than a week from our original chance to meet up. It is NOT her fault either. I am not putting her on a pedestal or worshipping her, the difference is I can admit when it is MY mistake rather than just assuming she's just a stupid gameplaying *****.

I am here for ME so that I can BE better so that should another opportunity arise I don't pass it up, I don't **** it up, and i make it be everything it can be.

Will I ever **** up again? Hell, I probably will, but at least through therapy I stand a chance at not only finding out WHY I am this way, How to fix it but I may just find out other underlying crap that also needs to be dealt with.

I read EVERYTHING people put on this site, every link. I go out and get every book, watch every movie. And you know what, I disgard the bull****.

You all have different approaches, different ideas, they WORK for you. Doesn't mean that it's going to work for me. It's like the gym. Different things work for different people.

My brain chemisty, my past, my issues are not the same as yours, your friends, even your families. This is why i'm going to get PROFESSIONAL help, this is why I called 20 different therapists to find one that I trust and one that my gut says can help me and listen and understand.

My instinct, my gut, tells me many things. It has never been wrong. My brain has let me down, my emotions have blinded me, but my natural gut instinct has never lead me astray. in fact, alot of the reasons I get jealous, that i think up ****ed up baseless scenarios is because i used to come into this forum and just read. And I would read up about the games, the bull****, the manipulation, all of that crap and it kicked my brain into gear rather than me listening to my gut like I should have and just KNOWING things.

edit: proof right there of a lack of emotional control and the negativity i need to overcome.. just look at all the swears. that is why i am going into therapy. Not because of her, not for some kind of drama. But because of crap like that where I do it, and only at looking at it afterwards does it hit me. Much like the fight i had with the girl. I didn' realize what I was doing until she told me i was doing it. That's when i freaked out, that's when i got scared, that's when i became insecure. When my flaw started to cost me something good AGAIN.

I KNOW i need help. And I KNOW that a few of you have replied to this are not ABLE to help me.

I know of my shortcomings. This is my first step.

 

[NickBe]

Do not post for help if you discount all the help that is given to you. If you knew the help you needed you would not be here in this situation. You do not know what you need thats why you are here.

You are beyond help.

 

[jackofasses]

Do not post for help if you discount all the help that is given to you. If you knew the help you needed you would not be here in this situation. You do not know what you need thats why you are here, in this situation.

You are beyond help.

I am not beyond help. Just because YOU personally can't help me doesn't mean that somebody else can't. You are not the be all and end all of hope. You are not a god or an idol for me to worship nor is YOUR word or YOUR thoughts law or the 100% pure and only solution/holy truth.

 

[NickBe]

You are beyond help not because you discount what I say but because I see people like you every day. You are the loser in therapy who never ends up living his life because he is always sabotaging it. You are the loser that asks for help but only takes the help that sounds best to him the same help he has been taking his entire life, the help that has made his life ****ty, the help that has got him to the place he is now, nowhere. Also you are the guy that can never accept he is what he is so he can never grow.

So I wont be posting in this thread anymore because I can see today how your sad pathetic life will end and not more nor anybody else can change that, not even you.

 

[reset]

Don't get hooked on therapy. It MAY help. But only YOU can change.

Your last post, you are all over the place. You NEVER should have gotten to the point where you fell in love with a pen-pal.

You clearly realize, that you are in absolutely no position to be with a girl right now. You need to take care of yourself first man.

Figure out what you need to figure out, whatever it takes to start having some confidence, to learn to be more of a man than a victim.

Make THAT your priority. This stuff with this girl, is just the symptoms of a much deeper issue coming out, which you know.

You have zero self-esteem. You've read every book and nothing's helped because you're trying to fill a bottomless pit.

Take control of your life. Now if it's the type of thing where you need medication in order to function in your every day life, that's one thing... but that doesn't seem to be the case. Therapists are a tool... you're still the one who does all the work.

And you can start by toughening up, and learning to stop taking things personally. Forget about being a DJ and all that stuff. You need a foundation to build on.

 

[jackofasses]

Don't get hooked on therapy. It MAY help. But only YOU can change.

Your last post, you are all over the place. You NEVER should have gotten to the point where you fell in love with a pen-pal.

You clearly realize, that you are in absolutely no position to be with a girl right now. You need to take care of yourself first man.

Figure out what you need to figure out, whatever it takes to start having some confidence, to learn to be more of a man than a victim.

Make THAT your priority. This stuff with this girl, is just the symptoms of a much deeper issue coming out, which you know.

You have zero self-esteem. You've read every book and nothing's helped because you're trying to fill a bottomless pit.

Take control of your life. Now if it's the type of thing where you need medication in order to function in your every day life, that's one thing... but that doesn't seem to be the case. Therapists are a tool... you're still the one who does all the work.

And you can start by toughening up, and learning to stop taking things personally. Forget about being a DJ and all that stuff. You need a foundation to build on.

As i've said from the start. I'm not here to learn about how to get women. I can land hot women, I see hot women every ****ing day. I've had sex with hot women. I am here to fix my problems.

I am going to therapy because I can read all the books i want but it doesn't stick. I'm finding a way to make it stick, to make it sink in and to make me WANT to put in the work to make **** better. I do want it, I know i can't do this **** forever.. but there's more to it than that. it's not a snap of the ****ing fingers.

 

[reset]

accept 100% responsibility for your life. Take the therapy, and take responsibility for the outcome of that therapy. It is NOT a cure-all, and even though you're saying you know that, you're treating it like it's the answer. It's not, YOU are the answer.

If you accept that, you will stop being a victim. Victims get mad and say a bunch of people are ganging up on them.

And if you can do THAT stuff, you won't be getting involved with women who are unavailable, like pen pals. You also won't fall in love with them, because you're too busy taking care of yourself... you wouldn't let yourself get to that point in the first place.

And if you do all THAT stuff, you'll be at the point where you aren't writing thousand word posts about all the crap floating around in your brain. IF you haven't, get yourself a journal and just flush all this crap out... because that's what it is... crap, lies you've told yourself over a lifetime about how messed up you are or whatever. It's like a parasite and you need it out of your head.

I've been through the same stuff you're going through, that's why I'm trying to snap sense into you... other guys here too.

Life is as difficult as you let it be. It's as fun and easy going as you let it be.

Now just relax, and go outside for a walk or something. It's time for you to believe you can change your life, with or WITHOUT therapy, and that you will settle for nothing less.

Good luck.

 

[jackofasses]

accept 100% responsibility for your life. Take the therapy, and take responsibility for the outcome of that therapy. It is NOT a cure-all, and even though you're saying you know that, you're treating it like it's the answer. It's not, YOU are the answer.

If you accept that, you will stop being a victim. Victims get mad and say a bunch of people are ganging up on them.

And if you can do THAT stuff, you won't be getting involved with women who are unavailable, like pen pals. You also won't fall in love with them, because you're too busy taking care of yourself... you wouldn't let yourself get to that point in the first place.

And if you do all THAT stuff, you'll be at the point where you aren't writing thousand word posts about all the crap floating around in your brain. IF you haven't, get yourself a journal and just flush all this crap out... because that's what it is... crap, lies you've told yourself over a lifetime about how messed up you are or whatever. It's like a parasite and you need it out of your head.

I've been through the same stuff you're going through, that's why I'm trying to snap sense into you... other guys here too.

Life is as difficult as you let it be. It's as fun and easy going as you let it be.

Now just relax, and go outside for a walk or something. It's time for you to believe you can change your life, with or WITHOUT therapy, and that you will settle for nothing less.

Good luck.

I have never said therapy was a cure-all.

 

[reset]

Head. Out. Of. Ass.

I've given you words that I have learned the hard way... and you just want the last word.

 

[Charm]

jacko,

Work on other areas of your life and the female aspect will come naturally and by its own accord. Forcing relationships to work or even occur is like trying to nail Jell-O to a wall.

 

[tihash]

I can't believe there are 2 pages of replies to this retarded post.

HE NEVER MET THE GIRL.

To the OP-- dude, learn how to meet girls in real life. There is plenty of info on this site on how to do so. I know it is en vogue to use myspace, facebook, etc... and for many people they get laid that way.

BUT...

online will never, ever compare to the confidence and skills you will acquire when you force yourself to learn how to pick up girls in real life.

I used to meet girls online only. It was hard for me, but I forced myself to p/u in real life. And it has made my world a much, much better place.

Less flakes. No b.s. pictures that aren't accurate. A sense of accomplishment and pride.

Meet girls in real life.

 

[jackofasses]

I can't believe there are 2 pages of replies to this retarded post.

HE NEVER MET THE GIRL.

To the OP-- dude, learn how to meet girls in real life. There is plenty of info on this site on how to do so. I know it is en vogue to use myspace, facebook, etc... and for many people they get laid that way.

BUT...

online will never, ever compare to the confidence and skills you will acquire when you force yourself to learn how to pick up girls in real life.

I used to meet girls online only. It was hard for me, but I forced myself to p/u in real life. And it has made my world a much, much better place.

Less flakes. No b.s. pictures that aren't accurate. A sense of accomplishment and pride.

Meet girls in real life.

This isn't about her, it's about me. This whole post wasn't even supposed to be about her or how i met her, or whether i met her face to face or not. It was me venting.

This isn't about me picking up girls.. this is about me writing my **** down, re-reading it and analyzing it with the help of the right people.

I'll listen to certain people more than others though.. depends on their attitude and outlook.

 

[NickBe]

See you can tell this guy is beyond help because he asks for help but then discounts it all saying it is not the right help. A person who needs help does not know the kind of help he needs. This guy asks for help since he is obsessive and needy and when you tell him so and how to change he says "you are wrong". If he knew how to change he would not be in this situation. He doesn't know sh*t, he asks for help and then ignores it all thinking we are all wrong when half the people that replied have their lives together unlike him.

This guy cries for help but only take on the help he thinks will work and we all know what he thinks works is useless.

 

[jackofasses]

See you can tell this guy is beyond help because he asks for help but then discounts it all saying it is not the right help. A person who needs help does not know the kind of help he needs. This guy asks for help since he is obsessive and needy and when you tell him so and how to change he says "you are wrong". If he knew how to change he would not be in this situation. He doesn't know sh*t, he asks for help and then ignores it all thinking we are all wrong when half the people that replied have their lives together unlike him.

This guy cries for help but only take on the help he thinks will work and we all know what he thinks works is useless.

If getting my life together means turning into a ****head like you then i'd rather stay a basket case. The reason I don't give a flying monkey arse about YOUR advice is the way you approach it, the way you put it out there and the way you generally condescend and berate people who may genuinely want help. Not everyone NEEDS a harsh dose of reality.. especially when they have already HAD that harsh dose.

You say your life is together and yet look at how you approach strangers on a forum. You treat newcomers like ****. Why? So you can try to hog things for yourself and think you're special?

Sure you:

-Slept with more than 70 Women... It doesn't mean they didn't regret it, that you didn't pay for it, lie cheat and steal or even drug them to get it

-May be on your way to being a millionaire.. but there are babies who aren't even born yet who have college funds ready to make them 3 times richer than you.. there are homeless people with 2 pennies and a plan who can also be considered to be 'well on their way' to being millionaires.

-May be god in the eyes of a woman... but you still leave much to be desired as a human being when dealing with strangers. You should want people to look up to you and idolize you.. you should want to be someone people can look up to. Your approach lacks anything that could ever remotely bring that to fruition.



In my eyes, you're just some emo kid.

 

[NickBe]

You are not taking anybodies advice not, who cares about mine. You only take advice that sounds good and look where that has go you so far. I never suggested you need to become like me it is impossible for you to become like me.

Why should I want people to look up to me? Is it because that is what you want?

I am on my way to begin a millionaire because I am worth almost one million right now. Actually you know what I figured out yesterday if I add together all my assets I actually am worth just over one million.

I do not suggest you become like me because you never can.

I suggested you stop dating women from the internet that you have never met.

I suggested you stop falling in love with a girl you have never met.

I suggested that for some reason you are sabotaging yourself and if you are it might just mean that you do not really want that kind of relationship. Something you denied but then admitted in a later post.

You are all over the place, you have no idea what you want and you do not take help from anybody. Reset gave you some great advice but you argued with him instead of accepting. That shows me that you will never in your life be a success you only take the help that sound good and that has got you nowhere so far.

 

[reset]

Dude, like I told you... you need to learn to not give away your power to other people.

You've gotten into this pointless exchange with NickBe, trying to prove yourself right... but the guy has a point. Take away all the bickering. Maybe the guy has no emotions.... he's just saying what he thinks and you're taking it WAY too personally. You don't have to like the way he's saying it, that's fine.

You don't have to be right all the time. You need to think about why you are in a situation like this getting this sort of response... he's saying the same **** I'm saying to you man... maybe in a combatitive way but WHATEVER.

It's not about him, or me, or any other poster here... it's about YOU.
You need a tougher skin dude. You'll get there. But your victim mentality has to GO.

Do yourself a favor... read the stuff I PMed you, forget about this whole thread. It's in the past. Move forward with your life.

 

[jackofasses]

blah