So.. Got FB Message From The EX GF.. What Should I do?

[Slick101]

Hey alex how are you? I hope everything is going well with you. I wanted to email you because I wanted to ask you something because out of all people I know you would know the best. My lease on my apartment is up in NJ and Im sick of commuting and paying double tax in NJ. Ive been lookin at apartments and I found a bunch in Astoria but I wanted to know what you thought. I know we used to go there all the time but I dont remember if it is safe or not. When I go there it seems like it but I am all by myself and I dont want to die! lol. My parents are still in south jersey and they didnt sell their house yet and Im making good money finally for once so I am able to live on my own anyways. Let me know what you think. I dont have that many friends that live in NYC and if they do they are really in their careers and make way more money than me and they live in the city and I can so not afford that. Some other friends of mine live in queens but they are not that good of friends for me to trust their judgement. I am sorry that I am only emailing you when I need something but I didnt want to ever bother you before. I dont hate you alex and I dont want you to think that I do. The situation with me and you was very hard for me because we both know at the end of the day even if we loved eachother soooo much we were never going to be able to be together becauase of your family etc. So, instead of both of us getting hurt, one of us had to end it. Im sorry it ended horrible I didnt want it to be that way but I cant change what happend. Im sorry alex because I know I hurt you but Im sure you understand and are happy that I ended it as well. But anyways off of that topic lol...I hope you can tell me what you think. I was looking into forest hills but the spaces were a lot smaller and I didnt like the atmosphere as much. Let me know what you think if you can please! Thanks ttyl xoxo

NOW This is the 3rd time she reached out to me and I never rsponded to her other 2 times.. Im thinking... Should I NOT respond... Or should I respond.. Or ask her to call me and I can either help her out or F**K with her head...

What you think?... Please guys I really wanna know your opinions on this....

 

[harkkam08]

hey man, i remember you helping me out with my break-up. Thats good that she is responding to you but maybe she is trying to get help from you. But she might also be re-hashing the problem that broke you guys up the family to test test the water.

Im not sure what the right move would be, maybe you should help her if you think that the family issue can be worked on or sorted out.

If you are still hurting man, it might be better that you dont message her.

I had similar family problems with my ex and we managed to make it work. It was over religion and we eventually she decided to convert. Maybe things could be worked out?



good luck man

 

[JCballin88]

Seems to me like a potential classic ego-stroke...just "checking in" b/c you've apparently gone NC and it's hurt her feelings. She wants to reassure herself that she's the victim (bringing up the problem with your family) because maybe she's having second thoughts.

Obviously this is just my analysis...I don't know the story of your relationship and exactly why she called it off or whatever. I would probably keep my distance though, since it seems to be working for you.

 

[f283000]

DON'T MESSAGE HER BACK! I can't believe you are so naive not to see women for the games they play. Her message reeks of trying to get something. It may not be material but pure emotional satisfaction of playing with your head/getting a huge ego boost knowing you "care" by responding back to her.

Be a man. Live your own life, delete women from the past from your life. Get rid of their #, facebook, myspace, msn, email etc. An Ex is an ex for a reason.

Her message reeks of interior motives (as in ego stroke) any dj can see that from a mile away.

 

[terran2k]

yeah don't bother dude, what good gunna come of it?

 

[Slick101]

DON'T MESSAGE HER BACK! I can't believe you are so naive not to see women for the games they play. Her message reeks of trying to get something. It may not be material but pure emotional satisfaction of playing with your head/getting a huge ego boost knowing you "care" by responding back to her.

Be a man. Live your own life, delete women from the past from your life. Get rid of their #, facebook, myspace, msn, email etc. An Ex is an ex for a reason.

Her message reeks of interior motives (as in ego stroke) any dj can see that from a mile away.

So what does she really want from me?

 

[Slick101]

Seems to me like a potential classic ego-stroke...just "checking in" b/c you've apparently gone NC and it's hurt her feelings. She wants to reassure herself that she's the victim (bringing up the problem with your family) because maybe she's having second thoughts.
Obviously this is just my analysis...I don't know the story of your relationship and exactly why she called it off or whatever. I would probably keep my distance though, since it seems to be working for you.

Second thoughts.. I like what you said...So shes doing this to see if she made the right move?... You think she wants me to contact her back and tell her NO WE CAN BE TOGETHER LETS WORK ON IT?...

How do I pass this test and make her suffer more... Some people are telling me help her out but dont NOT respond because, it will show her that you are still angry at her.. (thats what she thinks and stated.. I know she thinks Im mad at her,, and I am!)..

They're telling me to ask her to call me... Then tell her how Great I was after the break up.. Help her out and show her that Im the better man by making it seem as if I wasnt affected at all after The break up!..

I believe that was a good Response... I think not answering back Is stupid...

AND TRUST ME GUYS!! ...FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW ME HERE... I STICK BY WHAT I SAY.. IF YOU SAY NO, DONT CONTACT HER,,, I WILL NOT.. NO MATTER WHAT... I KNOW HOW TO CONTROL MYSELF... I NEVER CONTACTED HER EVER SINCE... SO I REALLY FOLLOW YOUR ADVICE..

 

[terran2k]

The only reason I can see you contacting her is to involve yourself in her life on some level. You'll gain nothing other than heartache from contacting her.

 

[pipe007]

so what does she want from me?

lmao.. pathetic.

she wants nothing from you dont you see. you are the only person she knows who understand her situation, and she wants advice, so that she can get what she wants.. and keep going with her life....

nothing to do with you. She has no intention of being with you or even being friends with you..

do yourself a favor, and erase that email, and dont contact her man wtf

 

[Slick101]

so what does she want from me?

lmao.. pathetic.

she wants nothing from you dont you see. you are the only person she knows who understand her situation, and she wants advice, so that she can get what she wants.. and keep going with her life....

nothing to do with you. She has no intention of being with you or even being friends with you..

do yourself a favor, and erase that email, and dont contact her man wtf

I dont givaFuK... So How can you tell this HUH?

 

[f283000]

So what does she really want from me?

Didn't you read my post or what everybody else has been telling you?

women will keep in touch with you just to get an ego stroke that's all. They don't care about you, they don't want you, they just want the satisfaction of knowing you are giving them attention and possibly finding out that you still want them.

I read countless situations where chumps stablish contact again with an ex, start to get feelings again/feel like they are being led on by the ex to getting back together ONLY to be turned down by the ex faster than you can count to 3. Women love this! sure it sounds evil but to a woman it's all mind games and getting the satisfaction of knowing they could still have you if they wanted.

Women are all about mind games. What she is doing with you is mind games that's all. You could stablish contact again, start talking, becoming friends again and she will make you feel like it was meant for you two to go back together. She will only do this to slam the door right in your face when you actually push the idea.

You might not even want her anymore but giving her the satisfaction of you talking to her is enough for her to get an ego boost. Most self respecting men don't deal with exe's.

 

[Slick101]

Didn't you read my post or what everybody else has been telling you?

women will keep in touch with you just to get an ego stroke that's all. They don't care about you, they don't want you, they just want the satisfaction of knowing you are giving them attention and possibly finding out that you still want them.

I read countless situations where chumps stablish contact again with an ex, start to get feelings again/feel like they are being led on by the ex to getting back together ONLY to be turned down by the ex faster than you can count to 3. Women love this! sure it sounds evil but to a woman it's all mind games and getting the satisfaction of knowing they could still have you if they wanted.

Women are all about mind games. What she is doing with you is mind games that's all. You could stablish contact again, start talking, becoming friends again and she will make you feel like it was meant for you two to go back together. She will only do this to slam the door right in your face when you actually push the idea.

You might not even want her anymore but giving her the satisfaction of you talking to her is enough for her to get an ego boost. Most self respecting men don't deal with exe's.

Nicely said man... Nah I dont think I'll contact her... If you think about it tho.. I was close to her for 2 1/2 years she was my best friend... I would like for her to be in my life... but it just suks that she is trying to use my like this...

I want to get back at her someway.. How can I do that?

 

[f283000]

Nicely said man... Nah I dont think I'll contact her... If you think about it tho.. I was close to her for 2 1/2 years she was my best friend... I would like for her to be in my life... but it just suks that she is trying to use my like this...

I want to get back at her someway.. How can I do that?

The best way to get revenge on a woman is to ignore her and show her that you are living it up without her. Nothing is going to hurt her more than seeing a facebook of you full of pics of you with hot girls in the club having a blast, pics of you and hot girls at parties and other places. Jealousy is a woman's kryptonite.

You need to get rid of that feminine weak mentality of wanting her in your life. The first step in the process is to pursue and talk to other women.

A man's way of getting revenge on a woman is by showing her he is better off without her. A woman's way of getting revenge on a man is the opposite of a man's. Her way of getting revenge on you is to make you feel like your life IS WORST without her and making you want her back! (which she won't do)

And of course in countless situations that ive seen in this forum and elsewhere the moment you show a woman you still want them is when they will make your world come crushing down by destroying any hope you had.

She contacting you (and you replying) would only be the beginning of her evil works. Trust me on this they don't just contact you for advice (like in your situation) but only test to see if you are receptive to more communication. If you don't even reply the test fails and she is powerless against you.

 

[KingofHearts]

I know she thinks Im mad at her,, and I am!)..

This shows your attitude and weak frame right here.

You still have an opportunity to walk away and move on with your life. You do this by changing the above sentence to "I am not interested in her and she knows it". Anger has nothing to do with it anymore. Its the fact that you moved on.

Based on what you've said here, I say don't respond.

 

[Slick101]

The best way to get revenge on a woman is to ignore her and show her that you are living it up without her. Nothing is going to hurt her more than seeing a facebook of you full of pics of you with hot girls in the club having a blast, pics of you and hot girls at parties and other places. Jealousy is a woman's kryptonite.

You need to get rid of that feminine weak mentality of wanting her in your life. The first step in the process is to pursue and talk to other women.

A man's way of getting revenge on a woman is by showing her he is better off without her. A woman's way of getting revenge on a man is the opposite of a man's. Her way of getting revenge on you is to make you feel like your life IS WORST without her and making you want her back! (which she won't do)

And of course in countless situations that ive seen in this forum and elsewhere the moment you show a woman you still want them is when they will make your world come crushing down by destroying any hope you had.

She contacting you (and you replying) would only be the beginning of her evil works. Trust me on this they don't just contact you for advice (like in your situation) but only test to see if you are receptive to more communication. If you don't even reply the test fails and she is powerless against you.

Great advice man!

So once I pass this test and not contact... Wouldnt she then want to contact me again?..I mean obviously its bothering her that Im not communicating with her...

 

[jophil28]

Slick -if I were in you situation I would be thinking along these lines--
"Her email to me was motivated purely by her needs.She did not write me to express any lingering affection, gratitude, respect or admiration - she wants something from me, and there is nothing in it for me that I can see. "

And indeed she does want several things. She wants to feel that she is not alone in the world at a time in which she has to make some fairly simple life decisions. The dilemma that she has about re-locating is a common adult one. We have all had to make those decisions. She should be talking to her current friends if she is unsure.

IF you reply out of a sense of 'helping' she will draw you more and more into her petty issues because you have just 'told' her how to yank you in.

She also has some kind of desire to recontact you to prove to herself that she made "the right decision" . Women do this because they need to feel 'no regrets ' about their decision to dump you. However they can only pull this off if they drag you back into their life- she is attempting to do this by asking for your help. Women are skilled at manipulating men by creating a need based on their "helplessness" .

Ultimately you need to ask yourself whether it is in your interests to re-establish contact.
Frankly, I would not reply.

 

[Ease]

Not replying is ok, but you want to reply. You dont have to explain yourself to anyone here.

If you wana be clever about this, ignore the whole breakup topic. Give her advice about the house and ignore the rest. The wrong thing to do is fall for the trap and spill your feelings, thats what she wants.

Then if she brings it up again in her reply, you know she's still thinking about you

 

[Joe Stud]

Slickers... you DO realize that she's using this "convenient" request as an excuse to make contact, right? I mean you aren't a real estate agent right? And there are other people she can ask about this matter.

If you need to respond... here's something like what you say: "Hey, kinda busy these days, but let me help you right here & now: I think the Astoria area suits your needs the best. that area is still pretty safe. Good luck! sincerely, Slick"

 

[Bluntmaster]

I would reply with this:

"Unless you are coming over to suck my d!ck, don't ever contact me again"

What do you think?

 

[f283000]

If you wana be clever about this, ignore the whole breakup topic. Give her advice about the house and ignore the rest. The wrong thing to do is fall for the trap and spill your feelings, thats what she wants.

Falling for the trap IS HIM REPLYING. Spilling his feelings would be the ultimate goal of the trap and icing on the cake.