So Exhausted FML!

[fknhelp]

Just out of a relationship with a BPD. My mind legit feels like a record that’s been playing with the needle stuck in the same spot for months wearing a groove right through the record.

If anyone is willing to lend a hand or help out I’m looking to chat with someone on the phone who has been through one of these disasters and has some experience getting through it.

Let me know.
Thanks.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

Hang in there man, relationship breakups hurt the most the first 2 weeks.

Be comfortable that your emotions will suck for some time, know that we all have been there, gone through the pain and pushed through.

Focus on improving yourself, retake to do things you enjoy, with time you'll see yourself a changed man and will be glad you dodged a bullet.

 

[fknhelp]

Yah I know but my brain keeps effing me over and I can’t seem to shake it, always thinking that there’s something I could have done to hang on and that if she just woulda got help she could heal and grow and could have been capable of at least a semi healthy relationship.

There were just so many lies from her, so much self harm and then blaming it all on me, such a mind fk.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If you don't have experience dealing with BPD women, you will inevitably fall into their drama and end up feeling like you.

 

[fknhelp]

For any of you who have successfully pulled out of this black hole sh1t show, what was the most impactful/helpful action that you took?

 

[BPH]

For any of you who have successfully pulled out of this black hole sh1t show, what was the most impactful/helpful action that you took?

Meeting other women.

My ex was and still is like this. Girl was gorgeous, sex was amazing, but drama was everywhere. Even after we broke up and reconciled after a year to maintain a friends-with-benefits arrangement she would still look for problems to be mad about as if I had done something wrong.

However, she was not the only woman I was sleeping with, and I have 2 other plates who don't give me headaches. One is very consistent, very attractive, lives much closer, and is very sweet. My ex recently brought up something else to stir up drama - this time she can kick rocks.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why would you want to "hang on" to something toxic?

Be thankful you got out and now work on understanding why you got stuck in this position in the first place so you don't allow it to happen again and so these type of women don't choose you as their next victim.

Because these type of women DEFINITELY carefully choose the men they date based on how well they think they can manipulate and control them.

Essentially you were a "mark" to her. Gotta figure out why. No different than robbers choose their "marks" to target for robberies or conmen target their "marks" to swindle money from.

Figure out what it is that made her choose you and then work on fixing that or else history will repeat itself.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

For any of you who have successfully pulled out of this black hole sh1t show, what was the most impactful/helpful action that you took?

Not repeating the same mistakes.

 

[Mazer]

For any of you who have successfully pulled out of this black hole sh1t show, what was the most impactful/helpful action that you took?

Date other girls and a lot of them. The first couple of chicks you date will be boring asf as you will be comparing them to the previous nutcase. After meeting and hopefully getting a few lays with new women, you will slowly crawl out of the fn hole she put you in. Good Luck.

 

[Bingo-Player]

In a year you won't even remember her name

 

[DreamAgain]

Read the no contact thread on this forum.

Obviously, do not contact her, but there are some cognitive tricks you can try that worked for me. When you find your mind drifting towards thinking about her, just say I hope she is happy and sort of wish her the best, like you are saying goodbye to her in your mind. Over time, your mind will find this to be a permanent thought and will heal where you no longer have these thoughts.

Also, I disagree with the previous advice. Do not just date random women for the sake of "putting yourself out there". You will inevitably compare them to your ex, and be drawn back to your ex in retrospect if things go bad with these new women, if you aren't that attracted to them, etc.

Make sure you properly grieve the end of this relationship before jumping into a new one, that you proverbially burned the bridge and there is no rebuilding it.