SMV and age difference

[AmsterdamAssassin]

@CornbreadFed called you out and by ignoring him you basically said that you have none smh

I ignore everyone who 'calls me out'.

 

[Vanderdonck]

Young hot girls (18-23) usually don't go with older men. Most girls (hot, average or ugly) date guys the same age or slightly older (4-5 years older). There are some exceptions of course, I'm one the perfect example and I will explain how it works because a lot of guys here and outside of this forum live in a fantasy thinking that dating will improve as they get older. Not at all.

I'm 38yo and I have all the physical attributes that women find attractive in a man:

• Tall 6'2"
• Athletic 91kg
• Stylish
• White/Caucasian
• My hairline is receiding and some grey hair but I still have a lot of hair
• I look 10 years younger, especially when I shave.

I've been told many time that I'm the tall, dark and handsome type.

I've always dated very hot girls (models, etc), way younger than me. My last girlfriend was a 19yo Slovak model, I'm currently seeing a 22yo Ukrainian and I'm having a beginning of an affair with a fresh 18yo Ukrainian. Here are the reasons why I still get young girls despite my age:

• The way I look
• My personality and life experience (I've had a pretty exciting and interesting life so far)
• I speak French, English, Russian and some Czech (so I can date Russian, Ukrainian, Belarus, Czech, Slovak girls - the best in terms of beauty, and they are more open regarding age)
• I only meet girls through cold approach
• Volume - I go to the university and I live in a dormitory (went back to school)
• I only target girls below 25-26, with some exceptions when the girl is older but really hot

But those young hot girls are far and between, I get one from time to time and I really need to be proactive (cold approach). If I don't make a move, nothing is going to happen, they won't come and knock at my door. Long dryspells is a normal thing, despite all the advantages I have. I don't go to clubs, bars or parties. Plus, I wont get those girls on OLD:

• Girls on OLD are usually average or below average
• They will filter everything that is too old, so I won't appear in search results.

The best age for a man to get young hot girls is between 18 and 28 approx. When you get 30 and up, and you're more solid in terms of finances, you don't attract the young ones, you attract the 30something that are looking for stability. The 20yos are busy dating guys the same age. I noticed that girls who go for older men all have some kind of personal issues (daddy issues, self esteem issues, etc), it doesn't mean that they are low quality girls, but they have some issues. Age can be dealbreaker. Young girls want to fit in, they don't like to feel the pressure of their peers, parents, friends, etc. They feel that they do something wrong if they date a guy that is way older. I got rejected many times because of my age even if the girl was clearly into me. Like I said, why would they bother dating an older man when they have so many options, guys of their age. It's less complicated and "socially"a better choice.

So, even if I still get young hot ones, I get less and less and eventually (soon) I won't get any. That's just the way it is. I will be able to pull younger women all my life but at some point the 20yos will be out of reach. Like I said, yes some 20yo don't mind dating 35+ but it's very unlikely to happen, especially if you are average or below average in terms of looks and you don't have that "swag" that young girls like. Money won't make a difference. I don't have much and still pull young hotties.

Men SMV goes down after 30 too, but slower. It's just the reality. This SMV gets better with age thing is dating coach and Red pill BS.

This is all very true. I'm a guy who has attracted younger women even as I've aged, but the types of younger hotties change and become less frequent.

I think it's partly what you've mentioned (fitting in) and also IME after I hit 30, I was less likely to be the last d!ck standing at the end of the night. I started valuing going home or even staying in over powering through a Saturday night partying. A lot of young people like to go out and stay out, especially in groups.

That leaves a ven diagram of non-partiers + young women open to older men + girls I'd meet in sober settings. Not impossible but it means more sober or near-sober approaches, day game (preferably when the girl is alone - young women rarely are), or just opportunity knocking.

In my 30s and 40s when I've banged PYT's they are usually 1) secretly looking to cheat 2) on their own (e.g. traveling alone/Erasmus students or just out alone) or 3) loners in general, that is no real solid friendships, plus perhaps daddy issues. I don't mean any of this to disparage these girls, they were all fun in their own way.

 

[Plinco]

Bro, wtf are you and @The Duke going on about?

No one is specifically arguing that it is impossible to date as you get older, the whole god damn thread is about your SMV as you get older, big age gaps, etc. A guy that is 35+ is not going to be pulling women under the age of 25 readily. This can and does happen, but it's not the norm for the overwhelming majority of men in this age bracket and very atypical.

Seriously, a lot of delusional middle aged men on here living in some fantasy land that become defensive whenever these ideas are challenged.

I actually know @BaronOfHair and regularly talk to someone who knows him in person. Believe me when I say him and I hate each other's guts, but he actually does pull women who are 10+ years younger than him on a routine basis.

yes. the goal posts tend to slowly move in these sorts of threads.
Im certainly not saying you can't bang girls way younger than you.

Me and @mikedee are in somewhat similar situations and have spoken a fair bit and even shown various reciepts.
I'm well in my 30's now. I banged a SEVENTEEN year old not too long ago! very hot.
But I look very young for my age. (she thought I was 24 and I let her believe that)
I was lucky that I was just her physical type and she thought I was 'hot'. (this is ALWAYS a necessity. Her thinking you are good looking)
Basically, various stars aligned, but it's not something that would ever happen often to someone my age! (unless they also looked a lot younger than their years and they were a lot better looking than me.). And when you start getting even older?? 50s'?? 60's??!!! you have more chance of winning the lottery twice in a row lol

But it's silly that people seem to think it's irrelevant. There comes a time for all guys, even me, when you are completely invisible to them stunning pretty teenage/very early 20's girls. You are just some old man and not even remotely on her sexual radar. She is NOT sexually attracted to you and there's nothing you can do about that.
You need to be able to give her a lifestyle she wants and stuff ($$$$) if you expect to get her in bed. At that point she's attracted to your money, and not you.

If I took certain older posters from this forum out with me tonight, I know for a fact that they would have zero chance of getting the girls I pick for them too approach. Zero. Despite the bravado.

Looks are very important. To clarify, it isn't all about genetics. A man's emotional state has an effect on his appearance. I have much more positive responses from women when I'm feeling happier than otherwise.

Read my post again, that is exactly what I said.
Some will stick around but most wont once they know my age, despite being attracted to me and having a good time.

Why? Just because I'm adding in my own experiences doesn't mean I disagree, or that I have to read your stuff again.

 

[Barrister]

I disagree. The typical 35-50 year old man is a pussie beggar chasing women near his own age. That's not a peak.

I have found this to be true. I have also found that men who are good with women eventually give in to society's idea they should be with someone around their own age. A buddy of mine is great picking up women much younger than him and routinely would have a woman 8-9 years his junior on his arm for years. He recently dated and ended up getting his current GF pregnant who is two years older than him and is in her mid-forties. I have been shocked by the entire thing.

Granted -- this is anecdotal. But he is the last person I would have expected this from had you asked me 3-4 years ago.

 

[Barrister]

Regarding the OP --

The truth is a man who has social influence can basically pull just about anything he wants at any age. Yes, there are going to be those women who axe out any man who is "X" years older than them (their personal preference), but women are attracted to social proof and majorly attracted to men who have that and combine it with social grace (charm, outgoing, etc.). Many times this is tied to them being affluent and financially well off, but not always.

Looks become less and less important as a man ages. When I was 21 my physical looks were better than they are now at 38. However, my confidence and charm is 100X what it was at that age and it shows with how women interact with me. Looks, and by operation, age, mean very little within reasonable limits.

 

[SW15]

I have also found that men who are good with women eventually give in to society's idea they should be with someone around their own age.

The majority of men aren't that good with women. The men who are good with women are the last men who need to be with someone near their own age.

It is a key blue pill idea that men and women close in age pair. I think it makes a lot of sense for men 35+ to go substantially younger.

A buddy of mine is great picking up women much younger than him and routinely would have a woman 8-9 years his junior on his arm for years. He recently dated and ended up getting his current GF pregnant who is two years older than him and is in her mid-forties. I have been shocked by the entire thing.

Granted -- this is anecdotal. But he is the last person I would have expected this from had you asked me 3-4 years ago.

I understand why you are shocked by this. If I were in your shoes, I would be shocked by it as well. A man who is around 40 years old is not making wise decisions in having a long term pairing with a woman 2 years older. Getting her pregnant makes it so much worse.

I have no interest in starting a family now that I am in my early 40s. It doesn't make a lot of sense at this point in my life. I don't think there was ever a time where it made much sense. Having a family was never a priority for me.

If I were to have kids, it would need to be with a woman who is substantially younger than I am.

I have always told women that I am open to the idea of having kids but it is not a priority for me. It's never affected my dating life. I position it well. I think I would notice an effect if I outright declined to want kids. Most of the women I've dated over time weren't prioritizing having kids either. Most used some form of birth control while they were with me.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I ignore everyone who 'calls me out'.

That doesn’t sound fun, does it?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

That doesn’t sound fun, does it?

Actually, it does. Especially when they get upset about it.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Actually, it does. Especially when they get upset about it.

But he didn’t.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Women hit their SMV peak 18-26 and it slowly goes downhill from there year by year. A 22-year-old woman who is just considered "cute" will still have plenty of options from men her age and much older men since men unconsciously value youth and beauty in women since it is tied to fertility.

I was at a higher end bar last night and the hottest women inside were those 21 to 25, fresh faced beauty.

A man's SMV can peak anywhere from 35 to 50 and then slowly decline from there.

Women's peak SMV is in the range of 14-23 or so. To be clear, 14-17 does not apply to broader society but within their social environment (high school) where it is absolutely their peak, men seem to forget this. Imo, the most attractive women in broader society are 17-22.

Men's SMV is more variable because it's not just about looks.Most men may physically peak in their 20s but have a very, very gradual decline in looks that only starts to fall off once they're 45+. If a man looks aged (ie a higher biological age than his actual age) then his SMV will be lower.

I haven't even reached 35, yet my looks have gone downhill. No way is 35-50 a man's peak SMV.

Yeah, but looks aren't everything. They matter a lot, of course, but unlike women they're clearly not all that matters. If it were, why do I have more success now than I did in my 20s?

My take: an older man who has good skin, hairline, health/fitness, style, etc with wealth+wisdom+charm will always have a higher SMV than a younger man, since a younger man who is wise, charming, and wealthy is exceptionally rare, and even if he does have those qualities, women will refuse to see them because they just assume younger men are immature and are automatically disqualified.

 

[BaronOfHair]

One of the side-effects of our life spans increasing to 80+ is that we're all going to spend the MAJORITY of our lives* being "old". Dwelling on the fact that you're not a child anymore is more fruitless than mourning the fact that cable and streaming rendered The Big Four(ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox)obsolete


*Example: Tommy Lee Jones. Dude wasn't young back in the early 90s, and he's spent the past several decades playing world-weary action men, who are making peace with life not being quite what it was when they were 20. This is going to be the fate of ALL of us who get out of our 3rd decade alive, and we all choose the manner in which we think about this... Talking here "This is awful, horrible, and unbearable!!!" Vs "There are things I find agreeable about life today, things I'm indifferent to, and things I find highly objectionable"

 

[Mike32ct]

My take: an older man who has good skin, hairline, health/fitness, style, etc with wealth+wisdom+charm will always have a higher SMV than a younger man…

Yes, but look at the above extensive list of items an older guy needs just to compensate for his age.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Yes, but look at the above extensive list of items an older guy needs just to compensate for his age.

When you first enter corporate America/whichever portion of the globe you live in as a young person, there are things you have to do to counter the charge "You just don't have enough experience" + Combat the perception that you're another airhead who gets all his intel from TV and BuzzFeed op-eds

This is called "life", regardless of what age you are

 

[Jor-El]

It can be done, my last lay was nearly 20 years younger,however,im slim muscular,head of hair,no belly. Unprompted,she remarked how fit I was for my age,compared to others she knows same age. "you really look after yourself" was the phrase. Ok,a "case study" of 1,proves nothing,but if you are prepared to put the work into the basics,grooming,fashion,etc,it can be done,iv done it a few times. You reap what you sow

 

[zekko]

Like I said here: https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/wing-cats-and-wing-dogs-work-better-than-wing-men.278968/

It's not every cat that is chill enough to hang around your shoulder out in public.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It's not every cat that is chill enough to hang around your shoulder out in public.

Plus women always want to come close and pet him.

 

[Clockwerk50]

It's not every cat that is chill enough to hang around your shoulder out in public.

I heard cats get fleas and a lot of people are allergic to them.

 

[DJ Novice]

Some women are genuinely attracted to older men. It’s just a case of finding them.

My current girlfriend married a guy at 18 when he was 28 (20 year marriage plus only one other 3 month relationship post divorce in her life besides me, a rarity these days). She has no interest whatsoever in guys younger than her despite looks, wealth etc. She’s just wired that way, I think in part because she is not close to her father and probably is attracted to father figures.

I asked her what celebrities she was attracted to and she named Richard Gere. She also named Lionel Messi but this was only because he met his wife when they were very young (she has a very romantic view of love and relationships, claims she will look after me when I am old and sick and will stick by me no matter what even if I lose my job). She was raised traditionally (she’s Vietnamese).

Conversely she has an attractive girlfriend a few years younger who is dating a guy 20 years older than her. The guy pays for her rent, spoils her etc. but she has no intention of living with him or getting married to him and actively solicits numbers from younger guys (as told by her to my girlfriend, the guy is clueless of course).

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Some women are genuinely attracted to older men. It’s just a case of finding them.

In most cases, they will find you. And you'll find out quick enough if they're looking for a mature man or a sugar daddy.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Yes, but look at the above extensive list of items an older guy needs just to compensate for his age.

What, basic skincare, haircare, and health/fitness? Yeah, I suppose for most men this is too daunting a task (or they think it's "beneath them"), so it's no wonder the older men who DO put the very minimal effort into these things will stand out among the other men their age.