SMV and age difference

[zekko]

Men typically become more attractive to women overall as they get older compared to when they are very young, but for different reasons. A lot of it has to do with social skills and confidence for sure, the average 18-21 year old guy is not going out there pulling left and right like he is a chad lol. Things like money and lifestyle are definitely factors to consider, some broke college student or a guy that is an apprentice electrician or enlisted in the military aren't able to provide this. As a man gets into his mid to late 20s he should have these variables sorted out, at least to some extent.

As men get older, they get more worldly, more capable, more mature, more wealthy, more well rounded, more successful.

 

[Clockwerk50]

As people age, they often accumulate emotional and life challenges, including the loss of loved ones, job struggles, health issues, and relationship issues. These burdens can include grief, trauma, financial instability, mental health concerns, addiction, and the stress of raising children or caring for aging parents. Regret, guilt, fear of aging, and past setbacks can also weigh heavily, affecting one's sense of self-worth.

Either if you are a man or a woman stuff gets to you. Most people are dealing with their own issues, and they don’t want to deal with other people’s problems. Hence why both men and women prefer to date younger sometimes.

As an example, if you date someone in their 30s, there is a greater likelihood that you will have to help her mourn the death of her parents and deal with the byproduct of their death compared to dating someone in their 20s.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

I might sound like a broken record here. But. If you are an older guy and are into younger women. You already have your answer. You are either already attractive to younger women or you are not.

 

[The Duke]

Your mileage may vary.....dating got pretty easy in my late 30's. Its not hard to beat out 70% of the male population.

 

[Plinco]

Why? They're the same age.

Any why exactly do you think this is? I would appreciate it if you anchor your answer with your experience.

My experience is a bit different though.

 

[oliver109]

Young hot girls (18-23) usually don't go with older men. Most girls (hot, average or ugly) date guys the same age or slightly older (4-5 years older). There are some exceptions of course, I'm one the perfect example and I will explain how it works because a lot of guys here and outside of this forum live in a fantasy thinking that dating will improve as they get older. Not at all.

I'm 38yo and I have all the physical attributes that women find attractive in a man:

• Tall 6'2"
• Athletic 91kg
• Stylish
• White/Caucasian
• My hairline is receiding and some grey hair but I still have a lot of hair
• I look 10 years younger, especially when I shave.

I've been told many time that I'm the tall, dark and handsome type.

I've always dated very hot girls (models, etc), way younger than me. My last girlfriend was a 19yo Slovak model, I'm currently seeing a 22yo Ukrainian and I'm having a beginning of an affair with a fresh 18yo Ukrainian. Here are the reasons why I still get young girls despite my age:

• The way I look
• My personality and life experience (I've had a pretty exciting and interesting life so far)
• I speak French, English, Russian and some Czech (so I can date Russian, Ukrainian, Belarus, Czech, Slovak girls - the best in terms of beauty, and they are more open regarding age)
• I only meet girls through cold approach
• Volume - I go to the university and I live in a dormitory (went back to school)
• I only target girls below 25-26, with some exceptions when the girl is older but really hot

But those young hot girls are far and between, I get one from time to time and I really need to be proactive (cold approach). If I don't make a move, nothing is going to happen, they won't come and knock at my door. Long dryspells is a normal thing, despite all the advantages I have. I don't go to clubs, bars or parties. Plus, I wont get those girls on OLD:

• Girls on OLD are usually average or below average
• They will filter everything that is too old, so I won't appear in search results.

The best age for a man to get young hot girls is between 18 and 28 approx. When you get 30 and up, and you're more solid in terms of finances, you don't attract the young ones, you attract the 30something that are looking for stability. The 20yos are busy dating guys the same age. I noticed that girls who go for older men all have some kind of personal issues (daddy issues, self esteem issues, etc), it doesn't mean that they are low quality girls, but they have some issues. Age can be dealbreaker. Young girls want to fit in, they don't like to feel the pressure of their peers, parents, friends, etc. They feel that they do something wrong if they date a guy that is way older. I got rejected many times because of my age even if the girl was clearly into me. Like I said, why would they bother dating an older man when they have so many options, guys of their age. It's less complicated and "socially"a better choice.

So, even if I still get young hot ones, I get less and less and eventually (soon) I won't get any. That's just the way it is. I will be able to pull younger women all my life but at some point the 20yos will be out of reach. Like I said, yes some 20yo don't mind dating 35+ but it's very unlikely to happen, especially if you are average or below average in terms of looks and you don't have that "swag" that young girls like. Money won't make a difference. I don't have much and still pull young hotties.

Men SMV goes down after 30 too, but slower. It's just the reality. This SMV gets better with age thing is dating coach and Red pill BS.

I do find it harsh that young women have such high standards for having men the same age, a 20 year old man often will feel less confident than a 30 year old man, i was a nervous wreck at 20 but the last 10 years i have felt i have changed immensely and generally for the better, i do feel though that now i feel i am at ease with women my attractiveness could suddenly nosedive, i do feel lucky that i have aged gracefully and still look several years younger but i do find the next 5 or so years daunting and sort of make or break. Girls need to give older guys a chance, they have it much easier at age 19 than men do with every guy chatting to her while men might be chatted up by a girl a handful of times a year.

 

[zekko]

Not all men get better as they age. A lot of men get worse. Don't forget that physical attraction is what drives women to have sex with a man, not how capable or mature he is...

It's true that many men don't improve themselves as they get older. If they put the work in though, they should become more attractive. I disagree with the notion that it is solely looks that attracts women, even though there is a section of the manosphere that believes that. It's true that young men have access to other young women just because they're the same age, but there are aspects that allow older men to compete with them. The younger men often don't have the maturity level to appeal to women on the same level.

 

[oliver109]

It doesn't matter because 20yo girls are not confident themselves and usually have a very poor self esteem.

I know but they have tonnes of guys chatting them up every month so it is easier for them than for guys the same age who often have to make the girl feel comfortable in a conversation.

 

[oc16]

Young hot girls (18-23) usually don't go with older men. Most girls (hot, average or ugly) date guys the same age or slightly older (4-5 years older). There are some exceptions of course, I'm one the perfect example and I will explain how it works because a lot of guys here and outside of this forum live in a fantasy thinking that dating will improve as they get older. Not at all.

I'm 38yo and I have all the physical attributes that women find attractive in a man:

• Tall 6'2"
• Athletic 91kg
• Stylish
• White/Caucasian
• My hairline is receiding and some grey hair but I still have a lot of hair
• I look 10 years younger, especially when I shave.

I've been told many time that I'm the tall, dark and handsome type.

I've always dated very hot girls (models, etc), way younger than me. My last girlfriend was a 19yo Slovak model, I'm currently seeing a 22yo Ukrainian and I'm having a beginning of an affair with a fresh 18yo Ukrainian. Here are the reasons why I still get young girls despite my age:

• The way I look
• My personality and life experience (I've had a pretty exciting and interesting life so far)
• I speak French, English, Russian and some Czech (so I can date Russian, Ukrainian, Belarus, Czech, Slovak girls - the best in terms of beauty, and they are more open regarding age)
• I only meet girls through cold approach
• Volume - I go to the university and I live in a dormitory (went back to school)
• I only target girls below 25-26, with some exceptions when the girl is older but really hot

But those young hot girls are far and between, I get one from time to time and I really need to be proactive (cold approach). If I don't make a move, nothing is going to happen, they won't come and knock at my door. Long dryspells is a normal thing, despite all the advantages I have. I don't go to clubs, bars or parties. Plus, I wont get those girls on OLD:

• Girls on OLD are usually average or below average
• They will filter everything that is too old, so I won't appear in search results.

The best age for a man to get young hot girls is between 18 and 28 approx. When you get 30 and up, and you're more solid in terms of finances, you don't attract the young ones, you attract the 30something that are looking for stability. The 20yos are busy dating guys the same age. I noticed that girls who go for older men all have some kind of personal issues (daddy issues, self esteem issues, etc), it doesn't mean that they are low quality girls, but they have some issues. Age can be dealbreaker. Young girls want to fit in, they don't like to feel the pressure of their peers, parents, friends, etc. They feel that they do something wrong if they date a guy that is way older. I got rejected many times because of my age even if the girl was clearly into me. Like I said, why would they bother dating an older man when they have so many options, guys of their age. It's less complicated and "socially"a better choice.

So, even if I still get young hot ones, I get less and less and eventually (soon) I won't get any. That's just the way it is. I will be able to pull younger women all my life but at some point the 20yos will be out of reach. Like I said, yes some 20yo don't mind dating 35+ but it's very unlikely to happen, especially if you are average or below average in terms of looks and you don't have that "swag" that young girls like. Money won't make a difference. I don't have much and still pull young hotties.

Men SMV goes down after 30 too, but slower. It's just the reality. This SMV gets better with age thing is dating coach and Red pill BS.

For the record; I know women 18-25 are at their attractiveness peak and men of all ages desire these women.

I never did say that women 18-25 are interested in men 40+. I would be delusional to think a hot 22 year old just out of college would be interested in a man old enough to be her Dad.

However, most men my age (late 40's) would be perfectly happy landing a female early to mid 30's. I don't think this is completely unrealistic (if you are in good physical shape), since the age difference would be about 15 years, and you are NOT old enough to be their dad.

An early 30's women is past her SMV, but most women at this age still look pretty hot.

 

[sangheilios]

They usually have the same interests, life experience (none), they can relate.
Here is a good example (which is kinda related to the men hobbies attractivness thread)

I like to listen to complete discographies (jazz, prog rock, funk, reggae, etc., watch independent/underground cinema, learn languages, travel to exotic places. My ideal Friday night consists of a 1-2 bottles of wine, lots of weed, home made pasta, music, a Stanley Kubrick movie (ideally 2001), by 12 I'm in bed and sleeping.

Most young girls are pretty generic in terms of interest, hobbies, etc. They all like the same things, all dress the way, all dream to go to Italy, they like to party on Fri-Sat. Typical 20yo stuff.

I can have a pretty entertaining discussion about their interest, and speak their "language" but the opposite is not possible. Since they have very little going on in their life, they is not much to discuss about, they don't really know what they like and why, they rarely contribute to the conversation even if the conversation is about them and about what they like. So imagine the opposite... It makes it difficult for them to really enjoy my company even if they find me attractive. It requires some general culture, life experience, it's a bit if work and girls are lazy, especially with the tons of options they have. I guess they can't help but to feel a but inferior when they realize that they cannot hold the conversation. I don't mind them being ignorant and inexperienced as long as I know I have a chance to bed them, I enjoy my own company while going through the process of seduction. But for them it probably more pleasant to be with someone who is on the same "level".

That's what I said that most young girls I get are usually outliers, they have different interests, etc.
For example, the 18yo ukrainian I'm seeing plays piano and wanted to celebrate her birthday in a Jazz bar, we will get along well as she is probably not the type of girl who scroll Tiktok allday, the slovak girl had a education in classic guitar and was highly skilled in painting/drawing, the 22yo one was a bit of a geek and loner, etc. It works with girls who have a desire to enter my world and have a different dating experience. It's kinda of a niche thing, on both side. Older men with generic interests, average look, and boring life dont get hot 20yo at all.

Those girls, you meet one once in a while, most of the time you will deal with girls who wear baggy pants and date young 20yo with a tiktok haircut and air jordan who listen to whatever junk they hear on social medias.

Do you get my point?

Exactly.

I see some of these troll threads on here with guys well into their 40s talking about dating substantially younger women, talking 25 or younger lol. What the hell is a guy in his 40s going to have in common with the overwhelming majority of women that are 21-25 lol. Hell, at that age range as a man you should find those women stupid and annoying lol.

Women under the age of 25 are looking for thrills, novelty and excitement. That's why they are often into bars/clubs, parties, concerts, drugs, etc. What the hell is Mike, a 42 year old guy that works in banking, going to have to offer these women that they'd actually be interested in. Mike could have a high net worth, live in a nice place of his own and be able to afford multiple nice vacations every year......but unless he is willing to offer excitement he isn't going to be pulling these women, and we aren't even factoring in looks/physical attraction. Now, Mike should definitely consider women around 25-32 though, as they are still young AND realistically something he could land and have some sort of commonality.

I'm not saying it's impossible, but even age gap relationships of 10 years are a minority, there are plenty of stats that support this.

 

[sangheilios]

For the record; I know women 18-25 are at their attractiveness peak and men of all ages desire these women.

I never did say that women 18-25 are interested in men 40+. I would be delusional to think a hot 22 year old just out of college would be interested in a man old enough to be her Dad.

However, most men my age (late 40's) would be perfectly happy landing a female early to mid 30's. I don't think this is completely unrealistic (if you are in good physical shape), since the age difference would be about 15 years, and you are NOT old enough to be their dad.

An early 30's women is past her SMV, but most women at this age still look pretty hot.

I actually agree with this. The problem is guys talking about dating women that are barely out of high school and around college age, it's an absolutely ridiculous idea for the overwhelming majority of men over the age of 30. Even if you factor out looks/attractiveness, why the hell would you even want to go for these women at this age lol.

At my age, 34, I feel like a mature 22-25 is realistically the lowest I could go. At your age, late 40s, around 27-34 definitely makes sense BUT you'd have to be in very good shape and be well sorted with your career or finances. If I was a multi millionaire at 45 who spent the last 15-20 years grinding and I was also fit AND looking to settle down and have a family, I'd probably go for this age range.

 

[oliver109]

Exactly.

I see some of these troll threads on here with guys well into their 40s talking about dating substantially younger women, talking 25 or younger lol. What the hell is a guy in his 40s going to have in common with the overwhelming majority of women that are 21-25 lol. Hell, at that age range as a man you should find those women stupid and annoying lol.

Women under the age of 25 are looking for thrills, novelty and excitement. That's why they are often into bars/clubs, parties, concerts, drugs, etc. What the hell is Mike, a 42 year old guy that works in banking, going to have to offer these women that they'd actually be interested in. Mike could have a high net worth, live in a nice place of his own and be able to afford multiple nice vacations every year......but unless he is willing to offer excitement he isn't going to be pulling these women, and we aren't even factoring in looks/physical attraction. Now, Mike should definitely consider women around 25-32 though, as they are still young AND realistically something he could land and have some sort of commonality.

I'm not saying it's impossible, but even age gap relationships of 10 years are a minority, there are plenty of stats that support this.

You can't really lump all women of 20-25 in the same boat, some are more introverted, others are party animals and i wouldn't be that interested in the party animals as they are too high energy anyway. A 40 year old guy will probably have more in common with a 20 year old woman than a 60 year old woman, the 40 year old would have listened to similar music growing up, used the same technology, grown up in a similar environment, i don't think people realize just how much more similar even the late 90s were to today than they were to the late 70s, i think different ages being different is more to do with political and cultural outlooks more than anything.

 

[Plinco]

I do find it harsh that young women have such high standards for having men the same age...

Is that your experience or a belief that you picked up on from this board?

 

[Plinco]

What the hell is a guy in his 40s going to have in common with the overwhelming majority of women that are 21-25 lol. Hell, at that age range as a man you should find those women stupid and annoying lol.

And everybody should be the same?

Women under the age of 25 are looking for thrills, novelty and excitement. That's why they are often into bars/clubs, parties, concerts, drugs, etc. What the hell is Mike, a 42 year old guy that works in banking, going to have to offer these women that they'd actually be interested in.

This is true most of the time, but not always. Mike could surprise you too.

Do you get my point?

I appreciate the response. When I'm with these girls, I revert back to my 20 yo state of mind. I have a huge knowledge base, so it's easy for me to start and hold a conversation with people who want to have a conversation. It gets awkward when I have similar life experiences that their parents have, that they don't have. I've dated and slept with a bunch of girls that I was less than five years younger than their parents. The last girl that I went on a date with, she was 21, I'm 40, and her mom was 42. When her and I were texting and sending clips, there were some cultural references that she didn't understand, and her mom explained to her.

I enjoyed most of the conversations I've had with 18 to 22. I don't have the desire to have a conversation with a 30 year old woman. I can party if I have the time on the weekends; but doing something boring at a dive bar with 30 something's? No thanks

 

[DJ Novice]

I’m 56 and currently gave an Asian girlfriend about 10 years younger than me but she prefers older guys. I’ve found Asian women often prefer much older guys to date. You have to weed out the gold diggers though.

There will be outliers who by a combination of wealth, status, looks, physique, game etc. will have success with dating much younger women as they age but even they will hit their SMV peak. If you think the average guy can still regularly pull 20 and 30 year olds at 60 then you are living in fantasy land.

Your energy and testosterone levels will decline as you age. Sleep becomes more appealing than hitting bars at 2am in the morning. Once you bust your nut you may not feel like doing so again for quite a few days or longer. You can’t get as hard or last as long as you used to. All the effort you have to put in to bed a new girl becomes less and less appealing especially when you intuitively know from past experience that the excitement of new p*ssy will wear off quickly.

At some point you have to cash in your hand. Whether that’s an LTR if you find someone who is genuinely into you, accepting being single most of the time and dating around your own age (probably more so for companionship as you age) or going the pay for play route if you want to keep sleeping with much younger women, the choice is yours. If you think you can emulate Leonardo Di Caprio into your 60s and beyond then good luck to you.

 

[sangheilios]

I’m 56 and currently gave an Asian girlfriend about 10 years younger than me but she prefers older guys. I’ve found Asian women often prefer much older guys to date. You have to weed out the gold diggers though.

There will be outliers who by a combination of wealth, status, looks, physique, game etc. will have success with dating much younger women as they age but even they will hit their SMV peak. If you think the average guy can still regularly pull 20 and 30 year olds at 60 then you are living in fantasy land.

Your energy and testosterone levels will decline as you age. Sleep becomes more appealing than hitting bars at 2am in the morning. Once you bust your nut you may not feel like doing so again for quite a few days or longer. You can’t get as hard or last as long as you used to. All the effort you have to put in to bed a new girl becomes less and less appealing especially when you intuitively know from past experience that the excitement of new p*ssy will wear off quickly.

At some point you have to cash in your hand. Whether that’s an LTR if you find someone who is genuinely into you, accepting being single most of the time and dating around your own age (probably more so for companionship as you age) or going the pay for play route if you want to keep sleeping with much younger women, the choice is yours. If you think you can emulate Leonardo Di Caprio into your 60s and beyond then good luck to you.

The thing is, a 10 year age gap of 56 vs. 46 is nothing remotely close to say a 30 year old man with a 20 year old. With the relationship you are in, both of you are more or less in similar phases of your life, you are both middle aged and well past the partying stages of your life and very likely focused on your careers.

I agree with everything else you wrote though. I'm still pretty young, but the idea of chasing women and hitting up bars never really did much for me, I can think of so many other things I'd rather do with my time. My biggest priorities right now are my health, sleeping well, eating well and staying in fantastic shape. However, I also prioritize my wealth/wealth building and also my hobbies, traveling and honestly the peace and quiet of enjoying my own company and free time. Chasing crazy women is detrimental to all of these things lol.

 

[pipeman84]

I see some of these troll threads on here with guys well into their 40s talking about dating substantially younger women, talking 25 or younger lol. What the hell is a guy in his 40s going to have in common with the overwhelming majority of women that are 21-25 lol. Hell, at that age range as a man you should find those women stupid and annoying lol.

Women under the age of 25 are looking for thrills, novelty and excitement. That's why they are often into bars/clubs, parties, concerts, drugs, etc. What the hell is Mike, a 42 year old guy that works in banking, going to have to offer these women that they'd actually be interested in. Mike could have a high net worth, live in a nice place of his own and be able to afford multiple nice vacations every year......but unless he is willing to offer excitement he isn't going to be pulling these women, and we aren't even factoring in looks/physical attraction. Now, Mike should definitely consider women around 25-32 though, as they are still young AND realistically something he could land and have some sort of commonality.

Man, one of my neurons dies every time I read the nonsense bolded.
So what you're suggesting is that Mike becomes the beta bucks of the woman he supposedly had nothing in common with when she was 21-25 (at her most attractive and with the least baggage) once she turns 30. I guess talking about her job, nasty boss and colleagues and stories about her toxic exes make for satisfying conversation topics. After all, those wouldn't have been possible when she was 21 and in college.

 

[BadBoy89]

Women hit their SMV peak 18-26 and it slowly goes downhill from there year by year. A 22-year-old woman who is just considered "cute" will still have plenty of options from men her age and much older men since men unconsciously value youth and beauty in women since it is tied to fertility.

I was at a higher end bar last night and the hottest women inside were those 21 to 25, fresh faced beauty.

Bro when you say you saw fresh faced beauties at a bar but didn't pick them up, and then come on Sosuave to say you saw them, it's a little suspicious.

Now either you are going to say "I did pick them up" or "I didn't because xyz". But you've said it after the fact so it doesn't count.

A man's SMV can peak anywhere from 35 to 50 and then slowly decline from there.

As for age difference, it is not so black and white.

Who said SMV ages were black and white? That's an imposing statement. Not Sexy.

Some women don't care about your age and don't give it much thought (within reasonable limits, let's say 15 years difference)

Some women are turned on by men 10 to 20 years older and will purposely seek these men out

Some women are turned off by men more than 5 years older and will think you're a creep for giving them attention no matter how attractive you are for your age.

Not true, could be the other way around.

Another imposing statement. Very Un Sexy

 

[Lean Baby Face]

I haven't even reached 35, yet my looks have gone downhill. No way is 35-50 a man's peak SMV.

I share your concern, man. I'm not even 30 yet and already starting to show signs of maturing (facially only, though). While I'm still eating healthy and exercising, I think there's still improvements to be made. Maybe that will fix it and possibly even reverse some of it.

 

[Lean Baby Face]

You say lean is better. Hearing that from a woman is good to hear.

I've been criticized for how skinny I am. But I guess being skinny is better than being fat.

When you say skinny, are you with a flat stomach (no rolls when sitting down/bending over), but no muscles? If so, please, do not gain any more fat thinking it will make you look bigger. All you need is gaining muscle and wearing smaller sized clothing.

If you're lean (no rolls) with a 1.5x/BW bench press and 2x/BW squat/deadlift, you'd literally be Instagram-level fit with a score in the 8-10 range, especially when haircut and clothing are on point as well.