Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
All right, if anyone expects me to agree with any of this "your spouse should be first priority, even above the kids" bullsh*t, they're going to have to spell out specifically exactly what that means. In what way do you love your spouse (or boyfriend/girlfriend) more than your children? Because I can spell out a million and one different ways in which my child is number one while my spouse is a close second. Can any of you do the same?
If it sounds like BS to you that's fine, I'm not here to change your views. I was just curious about how others view their relationships. Some people like Starman are getting way to over worked about this topic.
Btw, Starman, there's no such thing as facts when it comes to human behavior, because if you expect someone to react a certain way you'll always be surprised. That's why marketing is so difficult, because you can only predict based on averages and numbers, but this isn't something you can give a definitive fact for like a mathematical equation.
If you still think I'm the only one thinking like this though here are some various sources I just found on the net that support my idea. I suggest you read the first one though since it hits on the topic more directly.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8112_care.html
Here are links and quotes from two other sites that touch on the topic:
http://www.whatgoesintothemind.com/firstchapter.asp?mode=view&index=270
In order to thrive, your marriage must be your number one priority—at the top of your list. And your spouse needs to see this every day. The principle is simple: If your partner doesn’t feel she is special to you, sooner or later she’ll be tempted to find someone who does make her feel special.
It’s not easy to keep marriage at the top of your priority list when there are so many other demands on your time: demanding jobs, demanding children, and other demanding responsibilities. While each has its place in your life, developing a healthy marriage is most important and should be given more attention than your other responsibilities.
http://www.rabbigold.com/faq9.html (Ironic that I don't believe in any religion, but most of the sites that support my point are religious)
It is interesting that Christian tradition also sees "honoring one's wife" as the priority for a husband. The New Testament teaches "Grant her honor." (1 Peter 3:7) Christian scholar and lecturer Gary Smalley writes, "Honor basically means to attach high value, worth, or importance to a person or thing." What does it mean to honor her more than himself? It means a husband must make his wife the number one priority in his life. It says that her value exceeds anything else - his parents, his children, his business, even his very being. If it is a choice between a man's wife and his parents, his wife takes priority. For the Torah teaches "a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave onto his wife." (Genesis 2:24) Similarly, if it is a choice between a man's wife and his children, his wife takes priority - for his children will grow up, leave, and cleave onto their own spouses. Amongst all our obligations to our various family members, the primary responsibility is to our spouse. The choice between a man's business and his wife is more difficult for many men. Males often tend to establish their identity by their profession and earning power. Perhaps that is the reason King Solomon, in his search for the ultimate purpose of life, concluded: "Enjoy happiness with a woman you love all the fleeting days of life that have been granted to you under the sun -all your fleeting days." (Ecclesiastes 9:9)
A man's wife is to be more important than even his business. Honoring her more than one self means that marriage ought to be the ultimate in selflessness. It requires a deep sensitivity to her needs and an attempt to fulfill those needs, even if it means compromise one's own desires.
