ShyRyder's 36 approaches to the Next Level
- Thread starter ShyRyder
- Start date
Red Ran Amber
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2005
- Messages
- 16
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Perhaps the lack of recent updates is because of his expired cable internet? Even so, he mentioned being able to use the library.
I hope that's the case, that you haven't given up on this ShyRyder. I really enjoyed reading it so far and I can tell that you're making progress. Don't get down because of how any specific girl responds to you. I know how frustrating it is to get your hopes up when a girl seems interested only to have them crushed when she suddenly bails. But it happens to everyone, because girls in general are flakey and unpredictable and usually don't even know what they want in the first place. Being stood up or led on demonstrate a serious lack of dependability and respect, and when this happens, you shouldn't hesitate to move on. Don't take it personally. Don't let it shake your composure. If you talk to her again, make your displeasure clear but do not get emotional. Show her that she has lost your respect, and make her work to regain it if she really wants it. Meekly accepting excuses, playing it off like nothing happened, immediately trying to set up another date; these things scream supplication. They will only show her that she can get away with bullshyt and you won't call her on it. Next time this happens, put her in her place. Be a challenge. Be the man.
AudiTy is right in that you seem to have a lot of negativity, and it's surely holding you back. Try to consciously change your perspective. Do you feel like you fail when a girl doesn't respond well to you? Instead, learn to see the tremendous achievement in making yourself go talk to her when so many other weaker men would succumb to their fear. Realize that with every conversation, your skills are improving. With every approach, your anxiety should be fading. After all, the more times you do, the more you will see that rejection only hurts as much as you allow it to. Steel yourself to it until it no longer fazes you. Master your emotions from within, don't let others take control.
I hope that's the case, that you haven't given up on this ShyRyder. I really enjoyed reading it so far and I can tell that you're making progress. Don't get down because of how any specific girl responds to you. I know how frustrating it is to get your hopes up when a girl seems interested only to have them crushed when she suddenly bails. But it happens to everyone, because girls in general are flakey and unpredictable and usually don't even know what they want in the first place. Being stood up or led on demonstrate a serious lack of dependability and respect, and when this happens, you shouldn't hesitate to move on. Don't take it personally. Don't let it shake your composure. If you talk to her again, make your displeasure clear but do not get emotional. Show her that she has lost your respect, and make her work to regain it if she really wants it. Meekly accepting excuses, playing it off like nothing happened, immediately trying to set up another date; these things scream supplication. They will only show her that she can get away with bullshyt and you won't call her on it. Next time this happens, put her in her place. Be a challenge. Be the man.
AudiTy is right in that you seem to have a lot of negativity, and it's surely holding you back. Try to consciously change your perspective. Do you feel like you fail when a girl doesn't respond well to you? Instead, learn to see the tremendous achievement in making yourself go talk to her when so many other weaker men would succumb to their fear. Realize that with every conversation, your skills are improving. With every approach, your anxiety should be fading. After all, the more times you do, the more you will see that rejection only hurts as much as you allow it to. Steel yourself to it until it no longer fazes you. Master your emotions from within, don't let others take control.
Round fvcking two
Yah Audity was dead on with his previous post. I really need to work on my inner game. We left off in the beginning of winter when the weather started to get cold. In terms of chatting up girls I haven’t made any real big advances. During the winter I've been working on my other goals and feel I have made a lot of gains in other areas. I'm working now bringing in some more money. Giving my mama more rent. Buying a couple clothing items every month to find my style to make use of outer game. I’m training harder then every in gym and the martial arts studio to be the best capoeista. Practicing the instruments and singing after class so its a breeze when I buy my own. It seems all my goals are gradually moving forward except one. As if it hangs over my head taunting me knowing with out it I can only go so far. I know better then anyone the consequences of not having an active social life. So whatever the opposite is, I know it’s a hell of a lot better then where I am now. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes. Now is the time, spring is here, everything around me is changing and growing with life and so Shall I, God is with me.
I have been working on my inner game somewhat. I’m always journaling and breaking down my fears. I made some affirmation and “How can I” questions that I recite to my self every morning. The past four weeks have been really hard on my stress to the point of crashing. The stress is mainly from starting a new job and my push to become a social king. I re-started without you guys when the board was down and its going aight. I have had many approaches at my martial arts class and work but I haven’t been closing. I’m going to finish what I started but re-adjust my goals.
Objectives
-Conveying sexuality to targets. This is a must, I have to learn how to get more comfortable with women and my desires
-learn how to vibe, connect, show how alike we are and just vibe without breaking it.
-Having positive experiences. Human’s registers things mainly in terms of pleasure and pain, gotto make these approaches pleasurable so they become habit.
-focus on building the skill for at least 3 months regardless of responses.
The last couple of days I have taken off to kind of regroup get my head and relive some of the pressure. I’ve re-adopted more of a Zen philosophy in my daily life. I realize why there is so much pressure is because I want to have a glorious social life so bad. I’m trying to curb some of my wants. Also I got to realize my perspective especially the negative doesn’t represent reality and could go either way. Yah and the meditations is a must to be my true nature.
I realized something important last night at work. After every social interaction with a “cool” person I go into a deep trance like state reviewing over and over in my head what I did wrong what I did right and what I can do better. I need to stop that and not put much importance on socializing and be more Zen.
Here are two convos I have had one last week at my gym and one last night at work that went really well.
This sexy older latin lady on a bench resting after her set of sit ups sees me struggling to find words and opens her mouth.
Latina: I’m so lazy
Ryder: What are u lazy from
Latina: Oh I’m just tired
Ryder: cool
Ryder: I Haven’t seen you in the gym for a while
Latina: Oh I was on vacation I went to Cuba and Mexico for a month
Should have said: (Ok what’s it like in cuba I always wanted to go)
Actually said Ryder: Did u get any training done there (hahahahhahahahhaahha man I struggle)
Latina: Naw just relaxing
Ryder: so what’s your name
Latina: Cady
Then it just ended there. The reason I did that was because in other convos I was changing topics randomly because I was nervous and in this one I wanted to say on topic. That’s funny to me thought
At work was told to sit close to this short hair girl so we could get briefed on a new project. It was good approach not just the convo but the fact I did it with a couple other people right around me. And I know people don’t care if your having a convo with a girl nothing special.
Ryder: What survey u working on
gyal: Focus Canada
gyal:U
Ryder: same
Ryder: It’s a long one isn’t it
Gyal: Yah Its long but its not boring because people give u their opinions
Ryder: Yah defiantly it’s more interesting with the politics
Ryder: How long have you been working
Gyal: I’ve been working her since june
Ryder: How do u find it working here
Gyal :it’s not bad I get to choose my schedule around school
Ryder: yah defiantly that’s what I like too the flexibility with shifts
Gyal: How do u find it
Ryder: I like it some it get tiring sometimes but overall good
Gyal: yea it gets tiring some times but its good
Gyal: What’s your name
Ryder: Ryder
Ryder: Yours
Gyal: Jenifer
Both: Nice to meet U
Ryder: So what are u taking in school
Gyal: Oh im taking dancing
Ryder: What kind of dancing is it
Gyal: It’s a combination of modern dance and ballet
Ryder: What do you like about dancing
I like the movement and how you communicate through it and how people understand and u get feeling and a story
Then we got interrupted by the supervisor to go work. Honestly this is one best convos ive had period. I was really feeling the vibe between her and I. Most of the convos ive had in the last two weeks have been in the middle between these two. I should have been more comfortable with continuing the convo as we walked to a different station. Also I gotta stop doing that trance review thing in my head. But hopefully I can get more like this one. And by handling my obstacle with women I can connect with guys more easliy.
Aight enough talk time to make the inspirational thread I wanted to. with closes.
-Ryder out
6
Yah Audity was dead on with his previous post. I really need to work on my inner game. We left off in the beginning of winter when the weather started to get cold. In terms of chatting up girls I haven’t made any real big advances. During the winter I've been working on my other goals and feel I have made a lot of gains in other areas. I'm working now bringing in some more money. Giving my mama more rent. Buying a couple clothing items every month to find my style to make use of outer game. I’m training harder then every in gym and the martial arts studio to be the best capoeista. Practicing the instruments and singing after class so its a breeze when I buy my own. It seems all my goals are gradually moving forward except one. As if it hangs over my head taunting me knowing with out it I can only go so far. I know better then anyone the consequences of not having an active social life. So whatever the opposite is, I know it’s a hell of a lot better then where I am now. And I’m willing to do whatever it takes. Now is the time, spring is here, everything around me is changing and growing with life and so Shall I, God is with me.
I have been working on my inner game somewhat. I’m always journaling and breaking down my fears. I made some affirmation and “How can I” questions that I recite to my self every morning. The past four weeks have been really hard on my stress to the point of crashing. The stress is mainly from starting a new job and my push to become a social king. I re-started without you guys when the board was down and its going aight. I have had many approaches at my martial arts class and work but I haven’t been closing. I’m going to finish what I started but re-adjust my goals.
Objectives
-Conveying sexuality to targets. This is a must, I have to learn how to get more comfortable with women and my desires
-learn how to vibe, connect, show how alike we are and just vibe without breaking it.
-Having positive experiences. Human’s registers things mainly in terms of pleasure and pain, gotto make these approaches pleasurable so they become habit.
-focus on building the skill for at least 3 months regardless of responses.
The last couple of days I have taken off to kind of regroup get my head and relive some of the pressure. I’ve re-adopted more of a Zen philosophy in my daily life. I realize why there is so much pressure is because I want to have a glorious social life so bad. I’m trying to curb some of my wants. Also I got to realize my perspective especially the negative doesn’t represent reality and could go either way. Yah and the meditations is a must to be my true nature.
I realized something important last night at work. After every social interaction with a “cool” person I go into a deep trance like state reviewing over and over in my head what I did wrong what I did right and what I can do better. I need to stop that and not put much importance on socializing and be more Zen.
Here are two convos I have had one last week at my gym and one last night at work that went really well.
This sexy older latin lady on a bench resting after her set of sit ups sees me struggling to find words and opens her mouth.
Latina: I’m so lazy
Ryder: What are u lazy from
Latina: Oh I’m just tired
Ryder: cool
Ryder: I Haven’t seen you in the gym for a while
Latina: Oh I was on vacation I went to Cuba and Mexico for a month
Should have said: (Ok what’s it like in cuba I always wanted to go)
Actually said Ryder: Did u get any training done there (hahahahhahahahhaahha man I struggle)
Latina: Naw just relaxing
Ryder: so what’s your name
Latina: Cady
Then it just ended there. The reason I did that was because in other convos I was changing topics randomly because I was nervous and in this one I wanted to say on topic. That’s funny to me thought
At work was told to sit close to this short hair girl so we could get briefed on a new project. It was good approach not just the convo but the fact I did it with a couple other people right around me. And I know people don’t care if your having a convo with a girl nothing special.
Ryder: What survey u working on
gyal: Focus Canada
gyal:U
Ryder: same
Ryder: It’s a long one isn’t it
Gyal: Yah Its long but its not boring because people give u their opinions
Ryder: Yah defiantly it’s more interesting with the politics
Ryder: How long have you been working
Gyal: I’ve been working her since june
Ryder: How do u find it working here
Gyal :it’s not bad I get to choose my schedule around school
Ryder: yah defiantly that’s what I like too the flexibility with shifts
Gyal: How do u find it
Ryder: I like it some it get tiring sometimes but overall good
Gyal: yea it gets tiring some times but its good
Gyal: What’s your name
Ryder: Ryder
Ryder: Yours
Gyal: Jenifer
Both: Nice to meet U
Ryder: So what are u taking in school
Gyal: Oh im taking dancing
Ryder: What kind of dancing is it
Gyal: It’s a combination of modern dance and ballet
Ryder: What do you like about dancing
I like the movement and how you communicate through it and how people understand and u get feeling and a story
Then we got interrupted by the supervisor to go work. Honestly this is one best convos ive had period. I was really feeling the vibe between her and I. Most of the convos ive had in the last two weeks have been in the middle between these two. I should have been more comfortable with continuing the convo as we walked to a different station. Also I gotta stop doing that trance review thing in my head. But hopefully I can get more like this one. And by handling my obstacle with women I can connect with guys more easliy.
Aight enough talk time to make the inspirational thread I wanted to. with closes.
-Ryder out
6
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I’m really proud of myself right now. I was looking to get an approach big time so I can get this thing started. Coming home from work I see this brunette girl sitting down at the bench. She pulls out her phone and while I’m looking over gives me a glance. The 3 sec rule really works because at the start I was debating it in my head and then I just said to my self just go now or you’ll miss the opportunity and I walked over to the bench and sat down.
Ryder: hey how u doing
Gyal: good
Ryder: Where u coming from
Gyal: I was out with my friend
Ryder: Oh what where u up too
Gyal: I was just at this club he was telling me about ( something to that effect)
Ryder: What kind of music where they playing
Gyal: I don’t even know
Ryder: how could u not know, what u weren’t feelin the vibe (I wanted to bust on her and say something like “how can u got to a club and not know what kind of music their playing,” but I held back)
Gyal: Ahhh I think it was some sort of indie pop music.
Ryder: what type of music you like
Gyal: I like a lot of music from the sixties
Ryder: yah I really like that whole era they where really about something.
Ryder: I like the music too but cant really cant put the songs to the faces(kind of stumbled over my words here)
Gyal: what kind of music to you like
Ryder: I listen to a lot of hip hop and reggae
Ryder: So who Is one of your favorite bands from the sixties
Gyal: greatfuldead (at this point I was thinking about the close didn’t want the bus to come and I haven’t closed in a while)
Ryder:whats you name
Gyal: sarah
Ryder: So pass me your number
Gyal: *shakes head* I can’t
Ryder: How come
Gyal: It’s not my style
Ryder: *giving her funny look* not your style
Ryder: cool
We talked a little more after that then just got up and left when my bus came. I think my convo skills are getting better. At the start I felt like I was really searching out what we could have in common. Good approach, good convo, felt good afterward cause its about the skill but no sexuality. Also goto speak up and not have to reapeat myself.
Guidance
7
Ryder: hey how u doing
Gyal: good
Ryder: Where u coming from
Gyal: I was out with my friend
Ryder: Oh what where u up too
Gyal: I was just at this club he was telling me about ( something to that effect)
Ryder: What kind of music where they playing
Gyal: I don’t even know
Ryder: how could u not know, what u weren’t feelin the vibe (I wanted to bust on her and say something like “how can u got to a club and not know what kind of music their playing,” but I held back)
Gyal: Ahhh I think it was some sort of indie pop music.
Ryder: what type of music you like
Gyal: I like a lot of music from the sixties
Ryder: yah I really like that whole era they where really about something.
Ryder: I like the music too but cant really cant put the songs to the faces(kind of stumbled over my words here)
Gyal: what kind of music to you like
Ryder: I listen to a lot of hip hop and reggae
Ryder: So who Is one of your favorite bands from the sixties
Gyal: greatfuldead (at this point I was thinking about the close didn’t want the bus to come and I haven’t closed in a while)
Ryder:whats you name
Gyal: sarah
Ryder: So pass me your number
Gyal: *shakes head* I can’t
Ryder: How come
Gyal: It’s not my style
Ryder: *giving her funny look* not your style
Ryder: cool
We talked a little more after that then just got up and left when my bus came. I think my convo skills are getting better. At the start I felt like I was really searching out what we could have in common. Good approach, good convo, felt good afterward cause its about the skill but no sexuality. Also goto speak up and not have to reapeat myself.
Guidance
7
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Muhahahaha momentum is in my favors. On my way to the gym this morning this hb8 brunette wearing matching jeans and jacket comes the back of an empty bus. Thought about it a while to long before I got up and sat next to her.
Ryder: how you doing
Gyal: good
Ryder: where you headed
Gyal: (inaudible)
Ryder: where U going
Gyal: I’m going bowling with my boyfriend.
Ryder: Your going bowling so early, you must really like it. (felt like busting on hear there something like u wanna be a professional bowler or your going to start wearing the shoes and bowling shirt everywhere)
Gyal: naw my boyfriend really wants to go and he is going to take me to dinner after.
Ryder: whats your name
Gyal: why do u wanna know my name
Ryder: I wanna get to know you
Gyal: my boyfriend wouldn’t like that, he doesn’t even like/let me talk to other guys.
Ryder: Your looking really good
Gyal: *smiles*
Then I just get off at my stop but damn this girl had this native Indian look going on with high black fur boots and hair in up in the back nuff style. My sexuality faded while I was thinking about how to approach. I need to work on projecting my voice a bit more. The approach was good didn’t care that there was no buying signals. Ive had the boyfriend thing happen before its funny how a girl with answer every question with something about her boyfriend. How do I handle this? I noticed girls like it when in competition with other guys so im thinking it would be good to bust on the boyfriend?
Guidance
8 cause I would have closed
:cheer:
Ryder: how you doing
Gyal: good
Ryder: where you headed
Gyal: (inaudible)
Ryder: where U going
Gyal: I’m going bowling with my boyfriend.
Ryder: Your going bowling so early, you must really like it. (felt like busting on hear there something like u wanna be a professional bowler or your going to start wearing the shoes and bowling shirt everywhere)
Gyal: naw my boyfriend really wants to go and he is going to take me to dinner after.
Ryder: whats your name
Gyal: why do u wanna know my name
Ryder: I wanna get to know you
Gyal: my boyfriend wouldn’t like that, he doesn’t even like/let me talk to other guys.
Ryder: Your looking really good
Gyal: *smiles*
Then I just get off at my stop but damn this girl had this native Indian look going on with high black fur boots and hair in up in the back nuff style. My sexuality faded while I was thinking about how to approach. I need to work on projecting my voice a bit more. The approach was good didn’t care that there was no buying signals. Ive had the boyfriend thing happen before its funny how a girl with answer every question with something about her boyfriend. How do I handle this? I noticed girls like it when in competition with other guys so im thinking it would be good to bust on the boyfriend?
Guidance
8 cause I would have closed
:cheer:
Espi Yah the 3 second rule is wicked its like do or die. Yah the most important thing is approaching but I have found in past situational openers work well. “Declaritive sentence” like sentences where your leading the convos in a certain direction?
Why not bust on the boyfriend? Wouldn’t is show that you don’t give a fuk and have no respect and nither should she.
Yah defiantly show that my time is important and she is lucky that I’m sparing time out of my day for her.
Man I could have had an couple of approaches Friday night coming back from martial arts class. I sat down at the back of the bus and these two girls where giving me buying signals. The fact that they where together and the bus had a couple people in the back gave me an excuse to let myself P out. The thing that makes me anger is I knew I had the con do it but I got limiting beliefs when talking to a crowd. Nothing is off limits the bigger the risk the bigger the reward hopefully next time I’ll remember this.
Why not bust on the boyfriend? Wouldn’t is show that you don’t give a fuk and have no respect and nither should she.
Yah defiantly show that my time is important and she is lucky that I’m sparing time out of my day for her.
Man I could have had an couple of approaches Friday night coming back from martial arts class. I sat down at the back of the bus and these two girls where giving me buying signals. The fact that they where together and the bus had a couple people in the back gave me an excuse to let myself P out. The thing that makes me anger is I knew I had the con do it but I got limiting beliefs when talking to a crowd. Nothing is off limits the bigger the risk the bigger the reward hopefully next time I’ll remember this.
Attempt
In the morning on my way to my martial arts class I had an attempt. This girl comes on the bus was giving no buying signals and just talking on her phone. We both get off at the subway station and while walking down stairs.
Ryder: hey(lower voice)
Gyal: *no reaction*
Ryder: PSSSST HEY (loudly)
Gyal: *turns around with bank stare*
Ryder: how u doing
Gyal: *walks off*
She was walking with her phone in front of her so I thought it was a signal regardless I wanted to approach since I had sexuality behind me. I like how I was loud and aggressive when she didn’t respond to me at first. I felt my power there and I liked it she was probable intimidated. Anyways my hunger is at high level I’m looking to get at least an approach a day hopefully tomorrow. Actually today was a good day in terms of socializing at my class so its all good.
In the morning on my way to my martial arts class I had an attempt. This girl comes on the bus was giving no buying signals and just talking on her phone. We both get off at the subway station and while walking down stairs.
Ryder: hey(lower voice)
Gyal: *no reaction*
Ryder: PSSSST HEY (loudly)
Gyal: *turns around with bank stare*
Ryder: how u doing
Gyal: *walks off*
She was walking with her phone in front of her so I thought it was a signal regardless I wanted to approach since I had sexuality behind me. I like how I was loud and aggressive when she didn’t respond to me at first. I felt my power there and I liked it she was probable intimidated. Anyways my hunger is at high level I’m looking to get at least an approach a day hopefully tomorrow. Actually today was a good day in terms of socializing at my class so its all good.
Epsi- Ok with the declarative you get them to expand more on their live. Sounds good I’ll try to work that in to my game but I think I’m still in the early stages.
Yah I know its never good to talk about negative topics like war or really debated issues like abortion. What I mean by bust its like make fun of in a ****y funny way to get her to laugh. But whatever it not like making fun of her boyfriend is a necessity.
Update
bad day today funny cause it was so beautiful outside. I had an attempt kind of like the one I got early so I guess it went ok. But I had the perfect opportunity to get over a big fear I have. I was sitting on the middle back sit of the bus two girls get on EC follows then they sit on either side of me. Man I wanted to do it so bad but the silence on the bus which was semi full and the two girls intimidated me. She even pulled out her phone as I sat their trying to will my self. I got to get over my fear of talking to a girl in front of people. Hopefully I’ll make a dent in it tomorrow.
Ryder
Yah I know its never good to talk about negative topics like war or really debated issues like abortion. What I mean by bust its like make fun of in a ****y funny way to get her to laugh. But whatever it not like making fun of her boyfriend is a necessity.
Update
bad day today funny cause it was so beautiful outside. I had an attempt kind of like the one I got early so I guess it went ok. But I had the perfect opportunity to get over a big fear I have. I was sitting on the middle back sit of the bus two girls get on EC follows then they sit on either side of me. Man I wanted to do it so bad but the silence on the bus which was semi full and the two girls intimidated me. She even pulled out her phone as I sat their trying to will my self. I got to get over my fear of talking to a girl in front of people. Hopefully I’ll make a dent in it tomorrow.
Ryder
smoothoperator86
Don Juan
o man thats probably my biggest problem. im doing one of these push myself journals and man... its a whole different story in front of people. my best two times are the gym and the cafeteria (sad huh) and they are always packed. what i doing to get myself over it is say "no one else cares what im doing" i saw it somewhere on here. its a bit weak but it gets the job done most of the time. if u find something that works good for you lemme know (we're probably at similar dj levels so id like to hear what u think). nice journal by the way.
Blackdragon5095
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2005
- Messages
- 453
- Reaction score
- 6
Ketp at it. It's hard at first but you will get used to it.
Rememeber the basic rules for conversation.
75% of listening and showing your listening ( body language )
Eye contact
Also your being way too seriously when it comes to apporaching women. :nono: Have some fun man. Make her laugh and smile. Make her wanna playfully hit you. Talk about her hair ( Alots of women love to talk about their hair ) and feel her hair.( KINO )
I read the post about the girl who stuck you up at the subway. Your too good for a girl like that and can do much much better. I give you 2 thumps way for apporaching and for trying. Don't be so hard on yourself man, this stuff was hard for me when I first did it, take 3 deep breaths and say I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.
Tell your self a postive quote everyday for example
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."
Mark Twain
Ketp up the good work.
Rememeber the basic rules for conversation.
75% of listening and showing your listening ( body language )
Eye contact
Also your being way too seriously when it comes to apporaching women. :nono: Have some fun man. Make her laugh and smile. Make her wanna playfully hit you. Talk about her hair ( Alots of women love to talk about their hair ) and feel her hair.( KINO )
I read the post about the girl who stuck you up at the subway. Your too good for a girl like that and can do much much better. I give you 2 thumps way for apporaching and for trying. Don't be so hard on yourself man, this stuff was hard for me when I first did it, take 3 deep breaths and say I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.
Tell your self a postive quote everyday for example
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."
Mark Twain
Ketp up the good work.
Smoothoperator86- Yah defienetly saying no one care will help because it true. I remember doing it on the bus a while back people will look over when you open your mouth then they will go back to whatever they are doing. It’s only us that think it a big thing out of the ordinary but really it happens all the time.
Blackdragon- Yah definitely fun is the name of the game. That’s one of my goals to make it more pleasurable. If I have fun with it I’ll be much more inclined to do them. I’ll try to loosen up for my next times instead of making something complicated.
Thanks for the support, trust me I need it.
I wanna say that their ain’t no stopping this time. I’m 23 years old right now and in 6 months I’ll be 24. I can’t take this isolation ting anymore, I feel like I’m in solitary confinement with occasional visits. I’ve already got over the really tough hurdle of starting up again going back is going towards death. So my WORD as a man to y’all I’m never going to stop approaching. Either I’m going to become stone cold to rejection and a conversationalist or I’m going to get nuff punanee. Hopefully the ladder.
Tuesday
Pretty good day. I volunteer at the hospital in the morning every Tuesday. Just go and socialize with the patients helping others helping myself sort of thing. Anyways there is a number of young ladies on the floor doing their nursing placement from a college. I talked to a couple of them some weeks before. So my mindset was try to get a number because everywhere is a green light. One of them is this girl named Michelle pretty good looking about a 7.5 really big beautiful eyes. The other is Elaine shorter Chinese girl really doesn’t have any kind of body but a cute Asian face about 5.5 – 6 generous. So I was thinking even if I get Michelle’s # I could have difficulty closing where as Elaine would be a lot easier.
But really I wanted both so I talked to Elaine first. The fears that I have in my head are really stupid. I hesitated because I think that other people will judge me for picky up a girl who’s not at my level (physically). It’s Kind of like I would pick a fight with a kid and kick his ass. It the same kinda mindset with fat girls either to pretty or to ugly. Anyways to not ramble on I got Elaine’s number and I’m going to call her on Saturday. Regardless of what happen its about building the skill. I approach Michelle too but got interrupted at the start of our convo and didn’t see her again.
Went to work later on and had a convo with a girl I didn’t meet before. Had an unusual name so I forgot it right away. It was an pretty good convo connected on some things like work and talked about school some. I still struggle at times to project my sexuality to girls I’m talking to.
Wednesday
First day in a while that I haven’t had at least one convo with a girl. I really didn’t get any buying signals in my travels around town. I could have forced an approach but that’s more of a confidence check then something to learn from. But I was practicing being at ease with my sexuality in public so hopefully it will pay off later on.
-Ryder
Blackdragon- Yah definitely fun is the name of the game. That’s one of my goals to make it more pleasurable. If I have fun with it I’ll be much more inclined to do them. I’ll try to loosen up for my next times instead of making something complicated.
Thanks for the support, trust me I need it.
I wanna say that their ain’t no stopping this time. I’m 23 years old right now and in 6 months I’ll be 24. I can’t take this isolation ting anymore, I feel like I’m in solitary confinement with occasional visits. I’ve already got over the really tough hurdle of starting up again going back is going towards death. So my WORD as a man to y’all I’m never going to stop approaching. Either I’m going to become stone cold to rejection and a conversationalist or I’m going to get nuff punanee. Hopefully the ladder.
Tuesday
Pretty good day. I volunteer at the hospital in the morning every Tuesday. Just go and socialize with the patients helping others helping myself sort of thing. Anyways there is a number of young ladies on the floor doing their nursing placement from a college. I talked to a couple of them some weeks before. So my mindset was try to get a number because everywhere is a green light. One of them is this girl named Michelle pretty good looking about a 7.5 really big beautiful eyes. The other is Elaine shorter Chinese girl really doesn’t have any kind of body but a cute Asian face about 5.5 – 6 generous. So I was thinking even if I get Michelle’s # I could have difficulty closing where as Elaine would be a lot easier.
But really I wanted both so I talked to Elaine first. The fears that I have in my head are really stupid. I hesitated because I think that other people will judge me for picky up a girl who’s not at my level (physically). It’s Kind of like I would pick a fight with a kid and kick his ass. It the same kinda mindset with fat girls either to pretty or to ugly. Anyways to not ramble on I got Elaine’s number and I’m going to call her on Saturday. Regardless of what happen its about building the skill. I approach Michelle too but got interrupted at the start of our convo and didn’t see her again.
Went to work later on and had a convo with a girl I didn’t meet before. Had an unusual name so I forgot it right away. It was an pretty good convo connected on some things like work and talked about school some. I still struggle at times to project my sexuality to girls I’m talking to.
Wednesday
First day in a while that I haven’t had at least one convo with a girl. I really didn’t get any buying signals in my travels around town. I could have forced an approach but that’s more of a confidence check then something to learn from. But I was practicing being at ease with my sexuality in public so hopefully it will pay off later on.
-Ryder
check_mate_kid_uk
Master Don Juan
hey Shyryder, i got to say wleldone on aproaching. I dont do much of it and hardly ever to total randoms on the street, but i would like to point you in the right direction as over the last 2 years i have learnt how you should talk to girls.
All these questions are not doing any good, i only read the first 2 pages but i noticed you where genraly getting poor results. When a girl looks at you, this is no reason to start fireing questions at her. No wonder you are failing! Instead you should tease her for looking at you and take it from there.
All these questions are not doing any good, i only read the first 2 pages but i noticed you where genraly getting poor results. When a girl looks at you, this is no reason to start fireing questions at her. No wonder you are failing! Instead you should tease her for looking at you and take it from there.
Epsi- Thanks for the props man,
Treat opening in front of people like a video game yah good advice man. I kind of pretend everyone speaks a different language cause their’s a lot of different ethnic backgrounds in the city
Good couple of days of facing my fears but not with a smile.
Thursday
I’ve been searching for an approach especially one on the bus with a little bit of crowd around. Nothing has really come up unless I would force it. But on my way to work after getting off the subway I was walking towards the building. This, I think supervisor who works on the opposite floor as my is walking in front of my and holding out her phone. Since that’s a usual buying signal I just go for it. She’s skinny and I think either Arabian or Latin. Anyways I’ll try to remember the convo
Ryder: How u doing ?
Gyal: good
Ryder: You work at Livebrigde(old place I worked at) right
Gyal: no
Ryder: ahhh umm I meant you work at Cantrak right
Gyal: yah
Ryder: yah cause I seen you around a couple time
Gyal: um hmmm
Then I just let her walk away. I was nervous throughout the short convo. After that I felt a little bad like all the girls ive been rejected by kinda came to the surface. I go to work more on being positive.
Friday
Still was searching for that crowded bus approach but nada came up. No other approaches came up either but I’m ready to go. I had a conversation with this girl I already talked to in my martial arts class. I noticed I let my thoughts dominate trying to make everything go well instead of being in the moment. And by thinking it just has the opposite effect.
Saturday
Not a bad day I learned from my mistake on friday. This pretty good looking south asian girl hb7-8 was sitted next to my working station. So I made a comment on the work we had to do and in-between calls we occasionally exchanged comments. She came to the cafeteria when I was on break and we a pretty good convo which I was proud of cause their was 4-6 in the room. Wasn’t projecting any sexuality toward her and she has a boyfriend.
Coming home from work I think I may have had an opportunity to do a bus a approach. This girl sat one seat away from me pull out phone and examined it but when I looked over she put it to her head. I think maybe I took to long I think I was going to go for it thought and I probable should have anyways.
I think now I got to focus on emotional control and stop letting my mind wonder round and round. The Last couple days have been a bit ruff my moral aint at 100%. But the sign of a champion is what he does when he is down. It’s Sunday and im going to call Elaine tonight. I’ll probably suggest a date for Tuesday the same day I’m volunteering with her.
I’m never ever stopping.
I’m only counting half decent convos and closes.
-Ryder
9
Treat opening in front of people like a video game yah good advice man. I kind of pretend everyone speaks a different language cause their’s a lot of different ethnic backgrounds in the city
Good couple of days of facing my fears but not with a smile.
Thursday
I’ve been searching for an approach especially one on the bus with a little bit of crowd around. Nothing has really come up unless I would force it. But on my way to work after getting off the subway I was walking towards the building. This, I think supervisor who works on the opposite floor as my is walking in front of my and holding out her phone. Since that’s a usual buying signal I just go for it. She’s skinny and I think either Arabian or Latin. Anyways I’ll try to remember the convo
Ryder: How u doing ?
Gyal: good
Ryder: You work at Livebrigde(old place I worked at) right
Gyal: no
Ryder: ahhh umm I meant you work at Cantrak right
Gyal: yah
Ryder: yah cause I seen you around a couple time
Gyal: um hmmm
Then I just let her walk away. I was nervous throughout the short convo. After that I felt a little bad like all the girls ive been rejected by kinda came to the surface. I go to work more on being positive.
Friday
Still was searching for that crowded bus approach but nada came up. No other approaches came up either but I’m ready to go. I had a conversation with this girl I already talked to in my martial arts class. I noticed I let my thoughts dominate trying to make everything go well instead of being in the moment. And by thinking it just has the opposite effect.
Saturday
Not a bad day I learned from my mistake on friday. This pretty good looking south asian girl hb7-8 was sitted next to my working station. So I made a comment on the work we had to do and in-between calls we occasionally exchanged comments. She came to the cafeteria when I was on break and we a pretty good convo which I was proud of cause their was 4-6 in the room. Wasn’t projecting any sexuality toward her and she has a boyfriend.
Coming home from work I think I may have had an opportunity to do a bus a approach. This girl sat one seat away from me pull out phone and examined it but when I looked over she put it to her head. I think maybe I took to long I think I was going to go for it thought and I probable should have anyways.
I think now I got to focus on emotional control and stop letting my mind wonder round and round. The Last couple days have been a bit ruff my moral aint at 100%. But the sign of a champion is what he does when he is down. It’s Sunday and im going to call Elaine tonight. I’ll probably suggest a date for Tuesday the same day I’m volunteering with her.
I’m never ever stopping.
I’m only counting half decent convos and closes.
-Ryder
9
Relapse
The last few days have been fvcked up. Usually I’ll try to have a convo or push myself socially every day. The past three or four days ive done none of that. I’m forgetting a an important key which is too stay positive after every convo. Lately ive been focusing how im not being sexual and asking my self self-esteem killer questions like whats wrong with me why cant I do it. Deppression is a mess up thing it kills whatever kind of work ethic you have. Miss a lot of opportunities but there is no stopping no plan B aint saving nothing for the trip back I gotta win. I have to remind myself that its no quick fix and its going to take work. So regardless if I got sexuality with me I’m going to use three second rule and get me another approach even if it takes me a year to get the courage again. I have my martial arts class in an hour I’m going to do what ive been doing the past few weeks and stay positive.
Update
didn’t see Elaine that day at volunteering, called her again yesterday but no answer. Also had or horrible convo with Michelle that day which spiraled me even more downward.
The last few days have been fvcked up. Usually I’ll try to have a convo or push myself socially every day. The past three or four days ive done none of that. I’m forgetting a an important key which is too stay positive after every convo. Lately ive been focusing how im not being sexual and asking my self self-esteem killer questions like whats wrong with me why cant I do it. Deppression is a mess up thing it kills whatever kind of work ethic you have. Miss a lot of opportunities but there is no stopping no plan B aint saving nothing for the trip back I gotta win. I have to remind myself that its no quick fix and its going to take work. So regardless if I got sexuality with me I’m going to use three second rule and get me another approach even if it takes me a year to get the courage again. I have my martial arts class in an hour I’m going to do what ive been doing the past few weeks and stay positive.
Update
didn’t see Elaine that day at volunteering, called her again yesterday but no answer. Also had or horrible convo with Michelle that day which spiraled me even more downward.
Aarrrggghhhh That Took Too Long
Epsi- Being more edgy and ballsy in my approach is a must. I’m hoping that it will come with more practice. Right now it feels like I’m walking on egg shells but I think I’m moving forward.
Yah the depression is hard man. It’s funny cause I don’t wanna risk making approaching not the center of my life cause I don’t wanna ever quit until this part of my life is handle. But depression is from having so much un met desire but I can handle it.
It’s not that buses are the only place I can approach its just that It’s a big fear I wanna face because its in front of other within an ear shot of my convo.
Epsi- Being more edgy and ballsy in my approach is a must. I’m hoping that it will come with more practice. Right now it feels like I’m walking on egg shells but I think I’m moving forward.
Yah the depression is hard man. It’s funny cause I don’t wanna risk making approaching not the center of my life cause I don’t wanna ever quit until this part of my life is handle. But depression is from having so much un met desire but I can handle it.
It’s not that buses are the only place I can approach its just that It’s a big fear I wanna face because its in front of other within an ear shot of my convo.
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Aaarrrggghh That Too Long
As I was saying the depression is real hard to deal with at times. The more you want something the more saddened you are when you don’t have it. Man it feels like I’ve been searching the city all week for an approach. And the more days that I came home empty handed the more I felt like shlt. I’ve been working on being positive a lot more since my last post. For example after any social interaction saying to myself “I’m a king/the man/the best/” things of that nature. Generally just being more positive and telling my self there is no way I can lose cause I aint giving up.
Anyways I had my volunteering at the hospital today. I did very well with socializing with patient staff/security guards. But with the girls that where their I didn’t do well at all. Elaine was there and I wanted to try and mack her but she seemed busy the whole time. I think it was just a product of my fear/low self esteem that I couldn’t take her aside for 5 minutes to see if she could take a break. Also have problem with macking in front of other guys like I’ll make a huge mistake and be ridiculed. (Man how did I get this way).
By the way I called Elaine a couple times more, herself phone seems to be off. And the way I’m going to do this is I’ll ask a girl out three time after that next.
So at this point in my day I was feeling like shlt and didn’t really wanna go to work. But what the fvck can I gotta get the paper. So I get to work the call center and find my place in the mini cubicles which are arranged side by side. This HB 8.5 who ive seen around before and she is very loud, confident and social. At this point I was thinking too myself how this night is probably going to get worst if I don’t open my mouth not to mention my job sucks. So after pretending for 30 minutes like I give a shlt about work, my lost sexuality started to notice how thick her thighs are.
I really firmly belief that the Gunwitch method and how POOK, Finger and others talk about how nice guys hide their sexuality is the reason I’ve struggle so much in my life. So when every the opportunity comes to act on my sexuality I’m trying very hard not to deny myself because of fear.
Ryder: how long have you worked here?
HB: umm let me see three months
Ryder: How do you like it?
HB: In terms of
Ryder: (alert, alert didn’t expect this my anexity jumps and I fumble something out) :nervous: umm ahh in terms of just a job that you work.
HB: well in terms of a part time job I like cause blah blah in terms of a career its not my think.
HB: Is this your first day? (sexuality officially dies, my egos so fragile that I’ll interpret this as your such a rookie it obvious)
Ryder: No ( you know you have seen me around bltch)
Ryder: why do you ask?
HB: because people who are new usually ask those kind of questions.
Ryder: oh, I ask cause you seem to have been here for a while
Pro
-acted on my sexual god given urges
-didn’t constantly review afterwards
-was positive about it after
neg
-could have look to continue a bit more it was a five hour shift
This is getting long but I gotta speak my peace.
Anyways I do that thing a lot where I interpret what’s said to me as negative and instead of the Zen middle way. I was taking to this girl who I regular have covo with at work and she said something in her language referring to me. So I’m like what does that word me she is tell me it means boy. I was taken back and maybe after reading my body language she said or it can mean guy.
Anyone have any experience with this?
So I’m in the work cafeteria in my usual solitude and these two black girls are hovering around the room. I’m beating myself up about how the world hates me and these two girls probable want me to approach but I’m too scared.
Work flew by pretty fast today, living inside you head constantly can do that sometimes. So I get off the elevator and as I’m leaving I see behind me one of the girls who was hovering in the cafeteria. (not many people around , Its ON) Hb 7.5
Sexuality: off
Ryder: how you doing?
Gyal: good
Ryder: this your first day (muhhahaha sweet revenge)
Gyal: no I’ve been here for three weeks
Ryder: really I haven’t notice you around
Gyal: how long have you been working
Ryder: I’ve been working for around three weeks too.
Gyal: How do you find
Ryder: It get really repetitive quick but the pay is good and the hours are flexible
Gyal: I’m Sasha and you are * extending hand*
Ryder: (the infamous) ryder
Ryder: where you from?
Sasha: I’m from Jamaica ive been here for 9 years
Ryder: that funny cause people from JA usually have thick accents that are hard to break
Sasha: blah blah my accent was so thick that had to get ride of it
Sasha: where you from
Ryder: My background is Jamaican too but I was born here
Sasha: wow we have so much in common( seeming sarcastic, so the bltch knows about the connection clause does she)
*walking to the subway we get interrupted by a beggar*
Ryder: what were you saying sorry
Sasha: I lost my train of thought
How do you handle when a girl is waking to fast for you pace? Tell her to slow down, walk at her pace, let her go?
Ryder: How come you walking so fast you in a hurry to get home?
Sasha: yah kind of
*as we walk down the stairs of the subway*
Ryder: What is it food or bed you running too?
Sasha: ha ha thats funny (while I give her this look trying to tell if she is being sarcastic or not)
Ryder: you going north bound?
Sasha: yah
Talked a little about some boring shlt about her school then
Sasha: how old are?
Ryder: 23
Gyal: wow you seem so young (again I feel this is a negative and I get it from a lot of girls as if to say my actions are boyish)
Ryder: how old are you
Gyal: 18 you though I was older right
Ryder: yah sure (whatever you say you ho)
*on the train my stop was the next one so my mind was on the close*
Ryder: so umm past me your number so me and you can go out some time
Gyal: hmm let me think about it
Ryder: my stop is coming up
Gyal: go out and do what
Ryder: (ooohh nice didn’t expect that) :nervous: ……. Umm We could go out for dinner, go to a movie or just go for a walk in the park.
Gyal: well I don’t give out my number to people I just met
Ryder: how come?
Gyal: just don’t what if I had a boyfriend
Ryder: that’s cools with me no problem.
Gyal: well I have a girl friend
Ryder: you have a girl friend
Gyal: yah I just said that
Ryder: ( yah I heard you I just wanna confirm that you’re a lesbo:box: ….why do they always wanna make it know?) Well I would have even less of a problem.
(should have said well you bring her along)
Gyal: well you just take anything wont (something to that effect)
Ryder: Naw its not like were getting married just wanna get to know you.
*stop comes*
Ryder: nice to meet you shasa( like I give a fvck)
Pros
-felt good afterward finally got an approach
-was mostly confident through the convo
Neg
-no sexuality
Feeling pretty high from my approach I get off at the station and catch the bus waiting for me. I go to the back of the bus and knowing better I review my approach. So this tall HB 7 comes and sits one seat away from me and flips her phone out, giving me the buying signal.
In my head I’m like I just did one and I don’t need another one. But then another part of me was like fvck that I wanna solve this problem now not tomorrow. So with like five to six people at the back of the bus I was like….
Ryder: HOW’s YOUR NIGHT GOING ( with a lot of base in my voice, instead of letting my fear make me shy and internal I used it to make me loud and external)
tallGyal: its going good
Ryder: YAH WHERE U COMIN FROM :box:
tallGyal: work
Ryder: WHERE DO U WORK
tallGyal: I work at the intersection blah blah in a bank
Ryder: your a teller
tallGyal: blah blah ( forget what she said really short answer for everything)
Ryder: how do you find it
tallGyal: blah blah ( again talking really softly should have told her speak up)
.
.
.
Ryder: where you from?
tallGyal: im from Guyana
Ryder: you where born there
tallGyal: no my parent are from their I was born here
Ryder: have you ever been back their
TallGyal: yah I went blah blah ago
Ryder: how is it over there
TallGyal: its nice
At this point I was just frustrated by her short answer and my lost sexuality so I was like whatever. I thought about the close for a bit but then P$$Yed out cause people could hear me get rejected and would not care. After I stop saying shlt she was giving me crazy singals twitching everything to get my attention again. So I must have been doing something right I think it was because I was aggressive and serious unlike with Sasha where I had goofy nice guy smile on my face. Then I was thinking to myself that this girl must really want to fvck and the thought of this really got my sexuality going. At this point their was more people on the bus. Arrrghhh I wanted to act on it but I pu$$y out, thought about it and the moment was lost. Man I must be scared of sex or something, have some repressed memories or some shlt. All in all I’m proud I think it was a really good day today. I’m going to try and put into use the confidence momentum that I got right now for tomorrow morning.
Anyways it’s getting late. The exciting life and times of Ryder. I swear man by the end of the summer I’m going to be a DJ. And I aint talking about having girls I’m talking about the skill to do what I want, where I want, how want and with the right mindset.
I’m a king, I’m the best, I’m a man
And I aint ever going to stop :yes:
Give me my respect
-Ryder Out
10
As I was saying the depression is real hard to deal with at times. The more you want something the more saddened you are when you don’t have it. Man it feels like I’ve been searching the city all week for an approach. And the more days that I came home empty handed the more I felt like shlt. I’ve been working on being positive a lot more since my last post. For example after any social interaction saying to myself “I’m a king/the man/the best/” things of that nature. Generally just being more positive and telling my self there is no way I can lose cause I aint giving up.
Anyways I had my volunteering at the hospital today. I did very well with socializing with patient staff/security guards. But with the girls that where their I didn’t do well at all. Elaine was there and I wanted to try and mack her but she seemed busy the whole time. I think it was just a product of my fear/low self esteem that I couldn’t take her aside for 5 minutes to see if she could take a break. Also have problem with macking in front of other guys like I’ll make a huge mistake and be ridiculed. (Man how did I get this way).
By the way I called Elaine a couple times more, herself phone seems to be off. And the way I’m going to do this is I’ll ask a girl out three time after that next.
So at this point in my day I was feeling like shlt and didn’t really wanna go to work. But what the fvck can I gotta get the paper. So I get to work the call center and find my place in the mini cubicles which are arranged side by side. This HB 8.5 who ive seen around before and she is very loud, confident and social. At this point I was thinking too myself how this night is probably going to get worst if I don’t open my mouth not to mention my job sucks. So after pretending for 30 minutes like I give a shlt about work, my lost sexuality started to notice how thick her thighs are.
I really firmly belief that the Gunwitch method and how POOK, Finger and others talk about how nice guys hide their sexuality is the reason I’ve struggle so much in my life. So when every the opportunity comes to act on my sexuality I’m trying very hard not to deny myself because of fear.
Ryder: how long have you worked here?
HB: umm let me see three months
Ryder: How do you like it?
HB: In terms of
Ryder: (alert, alert didn’t expect this my anexity jumps and I fumble something out) :nervous: umm ahh in terms of just a job that you work.
HB: well in terms of a part time job I like cause blah blah in terms of a career its not my think.
HB: Is this your first day? (sexuality officially dies, my egos so fragile that I’ll interpret this as your such a rookie it obvious)
Ryder: No ( you know you have seen me around bltch)
Ryder: why do you ask?
HB: because people who are new usually ask those kind of questions.
Ryder: oh, I ask cause you seem to have been here for a while
Pro
-acted on my sexual god given urges
-didn’t constantly review afterwards
-was positive about it after
neg
-could have look to continue a bit more it was a five hour shift
This is getting long but I gotta speak my peace.
Anyways I do that thing a lot where I interpret what’s said to me as negative and instead of the Zen middle way. I was taking to this girl who I regular have covo with at work and she said something in her language referring to me. So I’m like what does that word me she is tell me it means boy. I was taken back and maybe after reading my body language she said or it can mean guy.
Anyone have any experience with this?
So I’m in the work cafeteria in my usual solitude and these two black girls are hovering around the room. I’m beating myself up about how the world hates me and these two girls probable want me to approach but I’m too scared.
Work flew by pretty fast today, living inside you head constantly can do that sometimes. So I get off the elevator and as I’m leaving I see behind me one of the girls who was hovering in the cafeteria. (not many people around , Its ON) Hb 7.5
Sexuality: off
Ryder: how you doing?
Gyal: good
Ryder: this your first day (muhhahaha sweet revenge)
Gyal: no I’ve been here for three weeks
Ryder: really I haven’t notice you around
Gyal: how long have you been working
Ryder: I’ve been working for around three weeks too.
Gyal: How do you find
Ryder: It get really repetitive quick but the pay is good and the hours are flexible
Gyal: I’m Sasha and you are * extending hand*
Ryder: (the infamous) ryder
Ryder: where you from?
Sasha: I’m from Jamaica ive been here for 9 years
Ryder: that funny cause people from JA usually have thick accents that are hard to break
Sasha: blah blah my accent was so thick that had to get ride of it
Sasha: where you from
Ryder: My background is Jamaican too but I was born here
Sasha: wow we have so much in common( seeming sarcastic, so the bltch knows about the connection clause does she)
*walking to the subway we get interrupted by a beggar*
Ryder: what were you saying sorry
Sasha: I lost my train of thought
How do you handle when a girl is waking to fast for you pace? Tell her to slow down, walk at her pace, let her go?
Ryder: How come you walking so fast you in a hurry to get home?
Sasha: yah kind of
*as we walk down the stairs of the subway*
Ryder: What is it food or bed you running too?
Sasha: ha ha thats funny (while I give her this look trying to tell if she is being sarcastic or not)
Ryder: you going north bound?
Sasha: yah
Talked a little about some boring shlt about her school then
Sasha: how old are?
Ryder: 23
Gyal: wow you seem so young (again I feel this is a negative and I get it from a lot of girls as if to say my actions are boyish)
Ryder: how old are you
Gyal: 18 you though I was older right
Ryder: yah sure (whatever you say you ho)
*on the train my stop was the next one so my mind was on the close*
Ryder: so umm past me your number so me and you can go out some time
Gyal: hmm let me think about it
Ryder: my stop is coming up
Gyal: go out and do what
Ryder: (ooohh nice didn’t expect that) :nervous: ……. Umm We could go out for dinner, go to a movie or just go for a walk in the park.
Gyal: well I don’t give out my number to people I just met
Ryder: how come?
Gyal: just don’t what if I had a boyfriend
Ryder: that’s cools with me no problem.
Gyal: well I have a girl friend
Ryder: you have a girl friend
Gyal: yah I just said that
Ryder: ( yah I heard you I just wanna confirm that you’re a lesbo:box: ….why do they always wanna make it know?) Well I would have even less of a problem.
(should have said well you bring her along)
Gyal: well you just take anything wont (something to that effect)
Ryder: Naw its not like were getting married just wanna get to know you.
*stop comes*
Ryder: nice to meet you shasa( like I give a fvck)
Pros
-felt good afterward finally got an approach
-was mostly confident through the convo
Neg
-no sexuality
Feeling pretty high from my approach I get off at the station and catch the bus waiting for me. I go to the back of the bus and knowing better I review my approach. So this tall HB 7 comes and sits one seat away from me and flips her phone out, giving me the buying signal.
In my head I’m like I just did one and I don’t need another one. But then another part of me was like fvck that I wanna solve this problem now not tomorrow. So with like five to six people at the back of the bus I was like….
Ryder: HOW’s YOUR NIGHT GOING ( with a lot of base in my voice, instead of letting my fear make me shy and internal I used it to make me loud and external)
tallGyal: its going good
Ryder: YAH WHERE U COMIN FROM :box:
tallGyal: work
Ryder: WHERE DO U WORK
tallGyal: I work at the intersection blah blah in a bank
Ryder: your a teller
tallGyal: blah blah ( forget what she said really short answer for everything)
Ryder: how do you find it
tallGyal: blah blah ( again talking really softly should have told her speak up)
.
.
.
Ryder: where you from?
tallGyal: im from Guyana
Ryder: you where born there
tallGyal: no my parent are from their I was born here
Ryder: have you ever been back their
TallGyal: yah I went blah blah ago
Ryder: how is it over there
TallGyal: its nice
At this point I was just frustrated by her short answer and my lost sexuality so I was like whatever. I thought about the close for a bit but then P$$Yed out cause people could hear me get rejected and would not care. After I stop saying shlt she was giving me crazy singals twitching everything to get my attention again. So I must have been doing something right I think it was because I was aggressive and serious unlike with Sasha where I had goofy nice guy smile on my face. Then I was thinking to myself that this girl must really want to fvck and the thought of this really got my sexuality going. At this point their was more people on the bus. Arrrghhh I wanted to act on it but I pu$$y out, thought about it and the moment was lost. Man I must be scared of sex or something, have some repressed memories or some shlt. All in all I’m proud I think it was a really good day today. I’m going to try and put into use the confidence momentum that I got right now for tomorrow morning.
Anyways it’s getting late. The exciting life and times of Ryder. I swear man by the end of the summer I’m going to be a DJ. And I aint talking about having girls I’m talking about the skill to do what I want, where I want, how want and with the right mindset.
I’m a king, I’m the best, I’m a man
And I aint ever going to stop :yes:
Give me my respect
-Ryder Out
10
I really don't think you're that bad at approaching. Honestly, it really doesn't matter what you say if the girls truly interested in you. (You need game, so dont get me wrong ) but I've said some horrible **** like "are you all by yourself?" and still got the number/date. Maybe, you need to look for more IOI's when you approach to up your sucess rate up a little bit.
for people who don't understand the terminology IOI = indicators of interest.
) but I've said some horrible **** like "are you all by yourself?" and still got the number/date. Maybe, you need to look for more IOI's when you approach to up your sucess rate up a little bit. for people who don't understand the terminology IOI = indicators of interest.
Hey m8, glad to see you're back on the DJ trail...Respect for keeping it going, just a few tips and bits of advice though.
1. Stop giving yourself shyt and being so hard on yourself, it can only do damage to your mental state. You need to reinforce positive emotions and eliminate negative ones.
2. Three things that you are lacking in your interactions with women are humour, masculinity and sexuality. Don't be afraid to tease the girl you're talking to. It's good to ask some questions but try and fluff the conversations out more to break them up a bit instead of the interview style you got going.
3. If a girl is giving you short or just one word answers you have to realise the cause could be anything. Maybe she had a tough day, maybe she just isn't in the mood, but most likely it's because she can't be bothered to answer such boring questions about her life to some guy who just started talking to her (It's not like you were sparking attraction or projecting your sexuality so to her the chances are she won't be enthralled by the conversation. Don't get me wrong many girls would be happy you approached them but just make sure you realise it's their problem not yours).
Try and put yourself in her position before you speak, how do you think she's feeling? Is she stressed? Is she in wonderland? All these observations are helpful and can increase chance of an interesting conversation. Just identify with her. If she appeared stressed, but you were too busy thinking up questions to ask her, then naturally she won't be that receptive to your attempts.
I'll keep track of this thread, so keep those approaches coming, King!
1. Stop giving yourself shyt and being so hard on yourself, it can only do damage to your mental state. You need to reinforce positive emotions and eliminate negative ones.
2. Three things that you are lacking in your interactions with women are humour, masculinity and sexuality. Don't be afraid to tease the girl you're talking to. It's good to ask some questions but try and fluff the conversations out more to break them up a bit instead of the interview style you got going.
3. If a girl is giving you short or just one word answers you have to realise the cause could be anything. Maybe she had a tough day, maybe she just isn't in the mood, but most likely it's because she can't be bothered to answer such boring questions about her life to some guy who just started talking to her (It's not like you were sparking attraction or projecting your sexuality so to her the chances are she won't be enthralled by the conversation. Don't get me wrong many girls would be happy you approached them but just make sure you realise it's their problem not yours).
Try and put yourself in her position before you speak, how do you think she's feeling? Is she stressed? Is she in wonderland? All these observations are helpful and can increase chance of an interesting conversation. Just identify with her. If she appeared stressed, but you were too busy thinking up questions to ask her, then naturally she won't be that receptive to your attempts.
I'll keep track of this thread, so keep those approaches coming, King!
SELF-MASTERY
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The most important thing is that your out in the streets grinding. Most 'normal' guys and even post *****s on SS dont approach women. Once you get some more experience ur self-confidence will be unshakeable. I feel that you have to learn how to LOVE the anxiety that comes from making cold approaches; you have to enjoy the process and mentally devalue beautiful women. NEXT her if she's not giving u quality conversation; who want's to waste time on a boring ass byatch anyway.
SELF-MASTERY
Banned
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2004
- Messages
- 1,975
- Reaction score
- 7
Ryder: so umm past me your number so me and you can go out some time
Gyal: hmm let me think about it (wtf ???)
Ryder: my stop is coming up
Gyal: go out and do what (wtf)
---- That is when I bail, because she is saying that she doesn't like you. Women that are interested (ppl that are interested) don't questioned what your going to do, at least not initially.
any byatch that hesitates isnt interested. Let go of her right then.
Gyal: hmm let me think about it (wtf ???)
Ryder: my stop is coming up
Gyal: go out and do what (wtf)
---- That is when I bail, because she is saying that she doesn't like you. Women that are interested (ppl that are interested) don't questioned what your going to do, at least not initially.
any byatch that hesitates isnt interested. Let go of her right then.