ShyRyder's 36 approaches to the Next Level

[ShyRyder]

Originally posted by milkman
Then make clear that you like her and that you want to get to know her.

Ok how do I go about letter her know that I like her.?

Originally posted by Schlep
She probably would've given a bit more info if she were interested, but your questions are also very pointed. Try to use more vague questions. Like where she said, "Jamaican and African" you immediately asked "which parent's from where?" Where I probably would've said something like, "That's a cool combo. How did that happen?"

Yah man I know. I could feel myself giving the interview but I couldn’t do anything to stop it. “that’s a cool combo” for sure I’m going to try to use this line. In this city you get a lot of combinations and I ask the background question a lot for some reason.

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
You are doing really well my friend.....

thanks man. I feel like life is open to me now and their are so many possibilities. Cold approaches are little hard but ill keep trying for the experience. The one this morning was amazing for me, just the approach part. Usually I would have to hype myself up like I was going to war but I actually reasoned out the fear in my mind. Maybe I had a bit more confidence because she was younger but still.

 

[S-lemond]

dont u just love these...approches for dummies threads

 

[ShyRyder]

Overall update

Library girl actually called me back that same day. It was a really good convo cause I was in control the whole time. She’s a quick girl busting on me and shlt. I’m like what are u doing Sunday. She says she is studying over Sunday for a test. I’m like “ u know taking a break form studying is good for the mind” shes says “that’s a good idea but I don’t really like taking walks by myself” I’m like no no with ME! Then she giggles at my eagerness. I made her laugh couple times too.
I called her on Sunday twice for the walk but she wasn’t home. I should call her right now but I’m kinda unsure about the date stage. Ill call Thursday night, think of something to do during day tomorrow.

There is this older Russian girl in my support group. The things is, she is married but I get that sense that she is interested. I’m vexed that I missed her last Tuesday hopefully she will come next week and ill get her email. Any reasoning about her being married goes out the window when compared to how much I want sex. Anyways we’ll see

Ok I have this feeling that I’m attracting all these girls at my martial arts class. Maybe its just my thinking but probably not. Anyways there’s this younger Russian girl who I caught looking at me a couple times so I’m pretty sure she likes me. After class young Russian girl and another girl were taking. I approach and embarrass myself right away. I was like the event is in “august” but meant to say “October” they had a good laugh at me. I listen to them talk for a bit. It fvcking great when two girls compete for your attention it makes me feel like a king. (is that the allure of a threesome) So I walk younger Russian girl to subway. Have a conversation for like 20 minutes and I was throwing a lot a sexuality at her. I felt like kissing her right there in the subway.
Would that be messed up if I tried to do that?
In public like that?
After training with out taking her out.
How would you guys handle this to get sex?
Anyways the only negatives are that im serious about my martial arts class and I want no distractions but then u live once and I want sex.
Also I don’t wont to be involved in negative gossip at the academy but I think I mentioned before that I want sex.

I got her number if anything so we’ll see. I’m still a little worried about my closing ability. Overall life seems to be getting better gradually. The only thing I haven’t really got on top of is my income and having my own business. I’ll leave that for another thread, hopefully it will be soon.

DJ’s guidance
3/mall oct 10

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Naaaah, who needs money when you have girls
Girls are the purpose of existence for men. Most men only want money so they can get girls. Nothing wrong with that, it definitely helps, haha.

Oooooo, a Russian chick, sounds good. I really need to try on some foreign chicks for size one of these days, but as for now I'm stuck in America. Before I die I want to bang a Russian, an Italian (pureblooded one dam-nit), a British chick, a German, a Canadian, a Spanish girl, and maybe a Chinese chick, hehe. Oh well...

 

[ShyRyder]

Update


Fvck Library girl, Fvck grils, fvck life damnit. Ok where did I leave off.

So I call up library girl on Thursday. For the days prior both of our schedule had been pretty busy but we talked about getting together and see seem interested. So im on the phone for a bit and fluff talk about how her test went. When a pause came the convo I took the opportunity to ask her on a date. I planned to be really assertive which I was and looked down a date for Saturday at 6:30. Now she wasn’t giving excuses as in not wanting to go. She seemed more interested in the time not whether we went out or not. You know how if a girl is interested she will suggest another day to go out, well that’s how she was overall. Anyways she agrees to 6:30 after she does some shlt with her brother. And another thing too she said she was going to call me at this time on Saturday since she was at her brothers in my area. 6:30 Saturday comes around and goes around. I call her at 7:00 there is no answer. I call again at 8:00 she pics up.

Hey

Her:hi

What happen to 6:30

Her: 6:30??? (all puzzled)

Yah 6:30 me and you made plans

her: OH my gosh, I’m sorry I forgot. I was watching a movie with my brother and forgot all about it. (As if it is even her brother)

Ok cool, its alright (playing it cool holding in my contempt, I just wanna get off the fvcking phone)

Her: No its not alright blah blah blah

Ok fine so when are u available.

Her: actually im really busy during the week blah blah

Ok whatever I’ll probably call you in the week or something.
(u ****ing bltch)

listen I’m a stand up guy. If a bltch doesn’t like me I’m not cry about for days I don’t mind getting rejected my skin is thick as steel now. But what I can’t take is these girls showing all this high interest level. Then my fvckin hopes get up and then the bltch flaks with a “oh I forgot” .
Then my armor falls to pieces and my self esteem goes with it. That slowed me down for like 4 days.

Anyways now I’m unsure about younger Russian girl. I called her once over the weekend but got no answer. Haven’t tried again don’t know if I’m going too before I see her in class.

I’m still in the game. Gonna go to the mall tomorrow.
You would think this shlt would be easier

 

[pimpfromdayone]

"Ok fine so when are u available."

BIG mistake. And, as expected, she gives you THE most classic excuse of all for a woman: I am busy.
You know dam-n well that is bullsh-it. No girl is busy at every single hour in the week. Even if she is busy, that doesn't mean she never has time for lunch, dinner, fu-cking off with her friends, etc, because she does. She thinks she has control of the situation, which she pretty much does at this point. Anyway man, I don't need to go on and on about it, but you know as well as I do that it is her way of blowing you off, telling you she isn't interested basically. Women don't seem to understand that men are very easily "led on" so they will give little hints here and there thinking you get the point, but most men don't... it would be much better if they just directly told us they weren't interested. I won't think she's a bit-ch for not liking me or anything, but I have felt wronged by women when they flake out on me just as you described.

Now, as usual, it is possible she is testing you, as women do, but I don't think flaking on a planned date would fit in that category in most cases. I probably wouldn't have even called her after that. You know what I did once when something similar to that happened to me? Well, first, it was a different situation, but basically the girl invited me to go to a thing "with" her and while I was there, there was no "with" involved.... she paid me absolutely no attention, talked to her friends, and ignored me. So what I did was I left before the thing was even over and got the hel-l out of there. I swear to you, not 30 minutes later, she called me from her cell while she was driving home. Yeees, kinda a shift in power there right? She was apologetic, exactly like that girl was, but as I quickly discovered, she was an attention who-re, so I didn't pursue it any further. Later that same year, months after our last telephone convo, she saw me with a group of other girls (friends) and just wouldn't stop staring at me.

Basically, you need to cut off all contact with this girl and don't call her again. She did you wrong, for whatever reason, and the only right thing you can do at this point is to forget about her.

Remember, "busy" is bullshi-t. If she ever does call again, YOU tell HER you're busy, then see what happens.

 

[ShyRyder]

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
she saw me with a group of other girls (friends) and just wouldn't stop staring at me.

Basically, you need to cut off all contact with this girl

Ya man, The one problem is that she workers at the library across the street from my house. But she already forgotten, I would love to make a couple girls from my past stare at me with green eyes while I was chillin with a group of girls. I’ll wait patiently for my time to come.


Yesterday made and approach.

I was coming home from this CPR course that I did and at the top of the subway waiting for a bus some girl comes in front of me giving the buying signals.

I hesitated for a good little while, I think partilly cause she was white. It’s something to do with well spoken and classy. Anyways thankfully I approached

How’s it going?

Her: good

What’s your name

Her: (inaudible)

What

Her: Justine

Where u from Justine:

Her: I live around blah blah

What brings u down here

Her: I’m going to see my boyfriend

Her: where do u live?

Oh I live up the road

Her: my boyfriend lives up around there do u know kane?

No

Her: the tall light skin guy

Yah I seen him around
(the bus comes)

Yah so pass me your number so me and you can hook up one time.

Her: yah its not right but ill give I too you.

I have to remember for the next approach to talk loud at the begining, i had to repeat my self a couple times.***********



First could I have handle the bringing up boyfriend better. I don’t know this guy kane personally but form what ive seen he seem like a player. And this girl is pretty foolish for thinking that their together. When I was talking to her she seemed visibly nervous. She kind of gives off the vibe of rich suburban girl looking for some homeboy. Anyways she seems unstable emotional and I aint going down that road again so ill booty call her tomorrow if it’s a NO then fvck her.

I’m still unsure how to go after Russian girl in my martial arts class. I have too admit I’m a little afraid only because I have to see this girl over and over again. I don’t mind failing but I’m not eager to try to push it further with her. And shes hot too, fvck it I’ll try to ask her to come over or some **** after class tomorrow.



The journal is going pretty well, Not at a really fast pace but it inching along steady

4/Oct 20 mall

 

[Blackdragon5095]

Don't let fear get to you. Fear will say ( you can't do it give it up )
or say ( you are gonna look stupid if you approach that girl ) don't listen to fear and go for it and good luck

 

[Hurrican]

good job bro,

but quit asking lame ass "closed-questions"

the ones that require a one or two word answer.


Ask questions like, "What is the most exciting thing you did this year?" If they say Nothing, be like wtf, your life isn't exciting and tell her a quick story.

Ask OPEN ended questions that will get her to start talking a lot.

Use differenet openers and see which one is the best.


I was planing on using this approach-line: "Hey I just noticed you and wanted to come and talk to you (or meet you)" Be confident and assertive. I think it will work well since most guys just ***** foot around and stare.

keep us updated bro

 

[ShyRyder]

Called Justine and young Russian girl just now.

Justine has a boyfriend and according to her doesn’t do those things. She seem emotionally unstable from beginning so my effort was half assed.

Asked Russian girl why she wasn’t in martial arts class her reply was she is sick. Had a good little convo then I told her I would ask her out but since shes sick I’ll leave it. She replied that the Friday would be good after class or call her next week.

No more playing around if a girl show interest I’m obligating myself to try no matter the situation if I’m rejected I’m rejected. Only one live and one live time to start acting like it.

Blackdragon- Yah man definitely it’s all about you and your ability to wrestle with your own self imposed limitations. Fvck fear

Hurrican- Yah maybe I could try a more creative opener now that the nerves are more steady. “Hey hows it going” loses it’s zest after awhile.

Thanx for support guys.

 

[ShyRyder]

Going to count an appoach today even Though I shouldn’t

Older girl sat in front of me on bus. Actually facing me and it took me seemingly a minute to say something. She was going crazy with the buying signals even took out a voice recorder. I finally asked her what it was for she told me she recorded an audio slave concert. We talked about audio slave and rage against for a bit. Then her stop came and she left. If I didn’t hesitate like a fool I would have closed. It counts because it was on the bus in front of people. Gotta use 3 sec rule, damn me.

5/oct 23 mall

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Naw man, you don't have to rush anything. There will be more opportunities with that girl....
I like how you have multiple prospects at once. Women do the same thing if you think about it, but over longer periods of time. Anyway, let us know how it goes. Tell that Russian girl you're sorry she's sick but you "can make her feel better," lol. Spice up the convos a bit, keep them on their toes. You're a no bullsh-it man, and you should do well, as long as you keep them interested.

 

[ShyRyder]

Update

The Russian girl in my martial arts didn’t come on Friday. So the date that we had was nullified. Didn’t go to class on Monday and haven’t seen her. wednesday is my next class

Seen library girl the other day and she asked me if I was mad. Played it cool at acted like I didn’t know what she was taking about. Then she said that she “was thinking of calling me everyday after that” I told her that I assume she didn’t want to go she replied that its just that she was busy and stressed. I’m kinda confused because her interest levels seem super high and she is the good girl type. So I don’t think she is an attention hor but we will see. After i give her a peck and hug the girl lights up like a christmas tree

Had a couple of attempted approaches but not complete closes.
fvcking hasitation is costing me # closes.

I’m still in the game
-ryder

 

[leoncour]

Hey ShyRyder,

Great job man, you are inspiring us all.

I was wondering if you could provide some info about yourself, like what you do for a living, and what are your living conditions and what other activities occupy your time.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Originally posted by JC Jerkson
LOL!! High Five for a perfect "interview approach"!


JC Jerkson

Yeah, well, if the world were perfect, that would be the best.... No bullsh-it, straight to the point, just the way I would like it to be.

 

[Eulogy]

Originally posted by ShyRyder
September 19
Fist approach
Hot and Short Brunette

Riding my bike on the street towards her we make eye contact and I just stop

Hows you doing?

Her: Good

What u up too this morning?

Her: Going to school

What school you go too?

Her: Oakwood

How do you like it ?

Her: Its alright

What’s your name

Her: Chrisy (or some ****)

How old are you?

Her:17

(my reaction is like dame and I look her up down)

Lets hook up ( I wanted to say I want you but lost my nerve)

Her: I have a boyfriend

Cool (and I bounce)

Comments: Yah that convo sucked went quick, I felt unsure and little nervous during. I didn’t really stick to a topic. In terms of sexuality I felt it move once or twice haha. But really I need to learn to build some kind of rapport

What do u do when your opened questions get short answers?

All feed back welcome

Guidance Please
1/sep 25 mall

First, don't ask her too many open-ended questions at first. It takes a lot of effort for her to think up answers.

Just start with quick yes/no stuff. Or even STATE things. Don't ask questions. You know the 90/10 rule? You're the 90%. You must provide it to keep it dynamic at first.

So say you open with some random situational opener. Now trust me, it DOES NOT have to be smart or clever, or whatever. In fact, what you open with is the least important part of the conversation.

Now, here are some tools to use. These are the 4 best things to get you started. OK.

1) Story telling.
2) Missinterprate her comments
3) Role-Play
4) Cold Reading

I'll go into the first one for now. Just spit game, bro. Spit, spit, spit. Get used to talking.

If you can roll up on a girl and you can just keep talking, you're going to get attraction. Just by the fact that you're not doing what every other guy is doing.

Ok. So you come up to her on your bike and just STOP.

Stare at her and say: "Oh.... my..... god. You have the coolest shoes. EVER. I just had to stop and meet you."

Her: Thanks *giggles*

You: You know, they look *really* comfortable. If I weren't riding my bike, I'd so want to try them out. (playful)


See how random and stupid that is? That's the whole point. And shes only 17! Just pretend you're talking to your 11 year old niece man. Don't even think.

Her: *giggles*

You: (Cold reading) You know, you have a nice girl face, but every now and then you get these *bad girl* maneurisms when you speak. etc.

Her: *smiles*

If she's receptive, then its ALL good. You can introduce yourself and take it from there.

PM me and we can chat if you need more help.

 

[Eulogy]

Originally posted by ShyRyder
Update


Fvck Library girl, Fvck grils, fvck life damnit. Ok where did I leave off.

So I call up library girl on Thursday. For the days prior both of our schedule had been pretty busy but we talked about getting together and see seem interested. So im on the phone for a bit and fluff talk about how her test went. When a pause came the convo I took the opportunity to ask her on a date. I planned to be really assertive which I was and looked down a date for Saturday at 6:30. Now she wasn’t giving excuses as in not wanting to go. She seemed more interested in the time not whether we went out or not. You know how if a girl is interested she will suggest another day to go out, well that’s how she was overall. Anyways she agrees to 6:30 after she does some shlt with her brother. And another thing too she said she was going to call me at this time on Saturday since she was at her brothers in my area. 6:30 Saturday comes around and goes around. I call her at 7:00 there is no answer. I call again at 8:00 she pics up.

Hey

Her:hi

What happen to 6:30

Her: 6:30??? (all puzzled)

Yah 6:30 me and you made plans

her: OH my gosh, I’m sorry I forgot. I was watching a movie with my brother and forgot all about it. (As if it is even her brother)

Ok cool, its alright (playing it cool holding in my contempt, I just wanna get off the fvcking phone)

Her: No its not alright blah blah blah

Ok fine so when are u available.

Her: actually im really busy during the week blah blah

Ok whatever I’ll probably call you in the week or something.
(u ****ing bltch)

listen I’m a stand up guy. If a bltch doesn’t like me I’m not cry about for days I don’t mind getting rejected my skin is thick as steel now. But what I can’t take is these girls showing all this high interest level. Then my fvckin hopes get up and then the bltch flaks with a “oh I forgot” .
Then my armor falls to pieces and my self esteem goes with it. That slowed me down for like 4 days.

Anyways now I’m unsure about younger Russian girl. I called her once over the weekend but got no answer. Haven’t tried again don’t know if I’m going too before I see her in class.

I’m still in the game. Gonna go to the mall tomorrow.
You would think this shlt would be easier

This one's extreme. But I've used it TWICE and it worked. Also.. its damn fun.

her: OH my gosh, I’m sorry I forgot. I was watching a movie with my brother and forgot all about it. (As if it is even her brother)

You: (dead silence for as long as it takes for her to talk again. Just say NOTHING!!!)

Her: Hello? Are you there? What's wrong?

You: What's wrong is I can't believe the bull**** I'm hearing.

Her: What?????

You: Look...you made a commitment to spend time with me and now you're blowing me off. You're disrespecting me and disrespecting my time and I'm NOT going to put up with it. My rule is, if someone makes a commitment to me, I expect them to keep it. If they can't keep it, I need to know at least a day in advance so I can make other plans. Got it? If you can live with that rule, great...if not, sayanora!

Then, HANG UP!!

Now, this may sound extreme, but man does it work well!!! In fact, she'll probably call back with five minutes and apologise and ask you out!!! I'm not kidding here; I've seen the hardest, jaded *****es go to giggly little girls, eager to please me when I've done this. It throws some kind of switch in their heads. I guess with some people, you don't really get their attention until... You Give Them A Swift Kick In The Ass!! -RJ

 

[ShyRyder]

SODA-dj- I just hope I can Improve myself to point where I feel like I’m part of something and can draw happiness from it. Crowded approaches or just plan convos are a big fear for me to get past. I feel like I’m going to get embarrassed big time while all eyes are on me. Even though I know people are usually lost in there own world. Definitely the situational opener is the way too go.
I actually read your advice and put it into practice. Ill get to the story in a sec, thanks for the feedback

Leoncour- Thanks man, Right now I got no job and I live at home with moms. I was going to university for a little bit taking political sci. This was when my anxiety was high and interacting was real difficult. Harder still was trying to get a half decent part time job. I figured my lack of confidence and overall low self-esteem isn’t going to just disappeared when I get a degree. I was going to school to study my interest and not to get a job.

So my number one focus became becoming a man. If you can’t hold a conversation with a stranger then u have a problem. So I braked from school and when I wasn’t wallowing in self pity I followed my quest. I’ve been on this forum a long time and took its advice. I was a nervous wreck but I had guts so I approach a lot(like a lot) despite the sometimes over whelming fear. Thats why things are going pretty well right now. Weight lifting, martial arts(off and on) followed very intensely. But my worries and social anxiety where still getting the best of me.

My breakthrough came starting going to this social anxiety group. Every day the group meets I’m there telling a story and holding the floor. I learned from all those previous approaches and faced my fear repeatedly in group. And one thing that I learned from sosuave is facing fear(the right way) = gaining confidence. During the last four months ive grown a hell of a lot in terms of manhood. One thing sosuave should stress a lot more is the importance of social group if u don’t have one. A guy PMed my about it and I cant stress enough. Having a couple close relationship where u can reveal secrets is a must. Isolating yourself is flirting with death. Humans were not designed to be alone.

Other activities I do are meditation, thought journal things to change my self defeating thoughts. November 3 I’m going to go get certification for a personal trainer. I’m bit worried about finding a job afterward. In the past it hasn’t gone well, maybe it will be different now. Until then its just Gym, martial arts, support group. If I get a job I’ll go back to school and study what I want.

 

[ShyRyder]

Originally posted by Eulogy
Now trust me, it DOES NOT have to be smart or clever, or whatever.

You got my number right there.

Just spit game, bro. Spit, spit, spit.

I’ll keep this in mind for my next approach. Yah man I think you have pin pointed my main problem. I go into approaches like I’m walking on egg shells. And the thing is I actually have the confidence and control to do it. I got to get the thinking out of my head that my convo has to be about important things or clever. I’ll try to through caution to the wind and just say whatever and keep it rolling.

Good examples

Originally posted by Eulogy
This one's extreme. But I've used it TWICE and it worked. Also.. its damn fun.

her: OH my gosh, I’m sorry I forgot. I was watching a movie with my brother and forgot all about it. (As if it is even her brother)

You: (dead silence for as long as it takes for her to talk again. Just say NOTHING!!!)

Her: Hello? Are you there? What's wrong?

You: What's wrong is I can't believe the bull**** I'm hearing.

Her: What?????

You: Look...you made a commitment to spend time with me and now you're blowing me off. You're disrespecting me and disrespecting my time and I'm NOT going to put up with it. My rule is, if someone makes a commitment to me, I expect them to keep it. If they can't keep it, I need to know at least a day in advance so I can make other plans. Got it? If you can live with that rule, great...if not, sayanora!

Then, HANG UP!!

The thing is I felt like doing that. But I took it as a rejection instead and just wanted to end the convo. She felt the angry in my voice and asked me if I was angry the next time I saw her. I’m guessing girls even when you first meet them do that emotion horring thing. I gotta let my self play the game. I think I got the balls to say something like that. From now on I’m going to tell them I need advance notice for any change in plans.

 

[ShyRyder]

Update

Aight I kind of regressed a bit. Went to Wednesdays martial arts class and saw Russian girl. In the studio you have time before the class start to warm up and socialize. It’s funny because I don’t feel like I’m committing myself emotionally when I ask these girls out but I am. before class didn’t talk to her…during didn’t talk to her….after class didn’t talk to her. I felt bad and asking her why she didn’t show would produce a lame excuse. That’s not why I didn’t talk to her though. My social
anxiety was acting up and I was getting a bit paranoid(thinking girl were talking about me because I don’t talk to them).

Overall I got to do better socializing in that class. After class was the worst too. I Had to watch her leave with some other AMOG. I wish I was the fvcking terminator and be emotionless when things like that happen. I’m ashamed that I was moping and had my head down and showing that I was in bad mood. Next time even if I’m feeling down I aint going to show it. As for Russian girl and others in my martial art class I’m going to talk but take my time in asking for dates. Too distracting

In honored of being stickyed I had to get a CA last night
At the bus stop on my way to the mall to go sarging for girls. One on one at the bus stop im king at approaching

Can’t remember all
Shy: Getting colder eh! (situational Opener) respect to SODA-dj

Her: yah (lights up to me)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. 15 secs later

Shy: where are you off too

Her: I’m going to York dale mall.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. 12 secs later

Shy: What’s your name
Her: Tee

Shy: That’s an usual name
Her: its spelled TWE (****ing with me she told me after her name is Tamara, stupid girl, I should have called her on it though I said something)

Shy: What’s your background
Her: I’m from ST. Lucia

Shy: How long have you been here
Her: 6 months

Shy: so wait a minute you haven’t felt winter yet hahah( teasing her)
Her: she like no I’m scared.
Shy: trust me if your cold now wait till it get to – 20
Her: I know blah blah
.
.
.
.
. 15 sec later

Shy: So what do you do for fun.
Her: well I read, watch tv hang out with friends

Shy: Sounds good…. Hey past me your number so me and you can get together one time. (getting worried the bus would come)

Her: (forget what she said but she wanted to exchange email)
Shy: sure

After that we exchange emails we talked a bit more with pauses included. I made fun off her big purse and she showed me some books she was reading. I didn’t even go to the mall since I got my CA just got off two stops down and walked home.

pros

-Didn’t hesitate when stating like I’ve been doing lately
-used situational opener
-overall confident stumble over maybe two lines
-girls is like an 8.5 very hot

cons

-huge pauses in the convo. I’m doing it because I use to fear the arkward pause and now I know it doesn’t matter so I let it be. Plus I feel like I have to say something really clever and important.

-should have question her about home phone
-NO SEXUALITY

Overall my confidence is on. The only thing that I’m missing is the know how. I feel like im going to get to 36 for sure now.

6

-ryder