ShyRyder's 36 approaches to the Next Level

[Lost]

++Props for the balls it's taking you to do this. Don't be so hard on yourself sometimes.

 

[IDLH]

Thread comments

Took my bike to the mall had one attempt with girl who was in front of me on side walk. Gave me a discussed look when I said what’s up. I said you don’t have to give that look.
Should have told the ***** off she lives in my area though.

Never tell a girl off. That's a personal reaction. The only reaction you want to display is a social reaction. In this case, the first thing that popped into my head was:

“Be careful, that face you are making might stick”

and smile and cut out (focus your attention to the direction you are going and ignore any negative, for now)

Went to mall didn’t get any buying signals from no gyals I think. I stayed the full hour sitting down by one of those penny ponds. I wonder if its better to walk around or just sit somewhere.

It's better to do something that improves your life. If sitting down by the penny pond does it then fine. If not, then figure out how you should be investing your time instead.

quote:Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
When you told that girl "let's hook up," while it showed balls, you undoubtedly came across as kinda desperate and you didn't give her any challenge whatsoever.


Yah I didn’t think of it that way. Defintley “let’s hook up” takes away the challenge and all the fun out of the game. Its like shouting out your hand in a poker game. Thanks for the knowlege man

IMO You CAN tell a girl “Let's hook up”. With a Natural Game you can be very straightforward. Have congruence with your BL and you are ok.

Then she walks away from me haha first time that has happened. First I wanna say that some of these ghetto girls are bytches. They think its cool to be rude and act all arrogant. Just because I don’t dress or act a certain way doesn’t mean they don’t have something to learn from the experience. They are so stupid their going to suffer later on in life. Foolish gyals probably think their going to marry some up in coming rap star and be famous. or well

More importantly I think I could have done better on that one despite that fact she was being distant.

You MUST respect the target as a person – before, during and after the sarge. If you don't respect her, then you don't respect yourself – you are trying to hook-up with her after all.

Then her stop came and she left. If I didn’t hesitate like a fool I would have closed. It counts because it was on the bus in front of people. Gotta use 3 sec rule, damn me.

...

I feel like I’m going to get embarrassed big time while all eyes are on me.

Be the master of your reality. You can talk about anything in front of anyone. Don't let social constraints stop you from doing the Right Thing (tm).

Overall I got to do better socializing in that class. After class was the worst too. I Had to watch her leave with some other AMOG. I wish I was the fvcking terminator and be emotionless when things like that happen. I’m ashamed that I was moping and had my head down and showing that I was in bad mood. Next time even if I’m feeling down I aint going to show it.

Even better try this. Be happy that the AMOG hooked up with her. Really. I mean, it wasn't you, it was him. So you can't affect that part of reality. However, you can affect how you frame what happened. Frame it as being happy for him and suddenly you aren't upset anymore and the rest of your class goes better.

As a side to this, it is easier to frame happiness for the AMOG and her hooking up when you Eliminate Competitive Motivation from your reality. You aren't in any competition with any body else.


My opinion is that you should work on getting your inner values in line. The main suggestion is this:
Don't care what happens – Keep your emotions independent of the outcome.


I D L H

 

[Eulogy]

Re: Thread comments

Originally posted by IDLH
Never tell a girl off. That's a personal reaction. The only reaction you want to display is a social reaction. In this case, the first thing that popped into my head was:

“Be careful, that face you are making might stick”

and smile and cut out (focus your attention to the direction you are going and ignore any negative, for now)



I D L H

It's his fault. "What's up." Is the absolute number one WORST opener or "pickup line" there is.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

IDLH has a great point about being happy. No matter what happens, you HAVE to be happy. Your main problem right now (and it shows) is your negative attitude. You gotta tell yourself, "These girls don't mean anything to me really, I'm just out to have a good time." You are making special trips just to get women, and while the action itself is perfectly fine, it automatically puts you in the mindset that, if you don't succeed, you are failing. When you see other men with hot girls, be positive, feel happy for both of them, say to yourself, "Cute couple," or something like that, or be happy you're single so you can have ANY girl you want, and be on about your merry business. Nothing constructive comes out of being negative. Believe me, I know, I have been there. Also, never put too much weight on one single girl. She is only 1/10000000. When ONE girl is a bi-tch to you, learn to laugh, and then carry on just like nothing happened. That girl you approached on your bike, probably would have reacted completely differently had you been in a nice car, so forget her, and be happy you didn't end up with a superficial bi-tch like her. That's how I think of it. I turn everything into something positive... Think positively about others as much as possible, but if you do run into a bi-tch, laugh to yourself because she is clearly going nowhere in life.

I disagree about the "wanna hook up" line. Sure, it might work sometimes, but my point is, it's risky and could hint at desperation or something (no matter what your current mental condition is, she might think it), it's completely unnecessary, there are other ways to "get" the girl, so I wouldn't use it. Suggest to her to meet you somewhere sometime (fill in the blanks) or get her number. You don't really want to be seen as someone "hooking" up, but as someone offering to bring the girl into your reality for a while.

I have actually come very close to a hookup just from sitting on a mall bench screwing with my dam-n cell phone. I was walking in the mall and these two girls came right up beside me, one of them almost bumping the other one into me purposely. Didn't see them again until I was at the other end of the mall, and apparently, they had been expecting me or following me or something..... I sat down on the mall bench right smack in the middle of the hall there, where everyone, including them could see me. I didn't want to look like I had nothing else to do, so I pretended to play with my cell phone, and believe it or not, the girls starting wandering closer and closer to me until they sat on a bench right next to mine. I heard them talking, one of them said, "hurry up, before he leaves!" apparently trying to get her friend to introduce her.... I waited a few minutes but I felt that they would never get the courage to talk to me so I went to them, asking their age first thing, found they were too dam-n young for me, which is why my coc-kiness and stuff seemed to make them really uncomfortable, and then I just walked away... so, the moral of the story is, putting yourself in a high traffic area, whether it be a mall, or a bar, or anywhere, can work, but you're better off walking around looking for clothes or something because then you can talk to any woman in the stores.

Making special girl-hunting trips is fine, and I have done them before myself, but going solo is hard as hel-l on your psyche. I recommend taking a friend or something so it is more fun. If you don't have any, explore other options if you can, like extra-cirricular activities, social get-to-gethers, etc...
I used to not be involved in anything, and I really regret it because of all the opportunities (with women) I missed out on. If nothing else, a job is still a really good way to get women. Yes, I do recommend doing these things just for the sake of meeting girls. You have to make an effort in some ways. Just stop caring what these girls think of you.

 

[ShyRyder]

Originally posted by IDLH
Never tell a girl off. That's a personal reaction. The only reaction you want to display is a social reaction. In this case, the first thing that popped into my head was:

“Be careful, that face you are making might stick”

and smile and cut out (focus your attention to the direction you are going and ignore any negative, for now) H

Agreed

It's better to do something that improves your life. If sitting down by the penny pond does it then fine. If not, then figure out how you should be investing your time instead. H

It better to go out and do nothing then to sit home and do nothing. I log to many hours at home there is nothing wrong with going to the mall and people watch.

IMO You CAN tell a girl “Let's hook up”. With a Natural Game you can be very straightforward. Have congruence with your BL and you are ok.

alright

You MUST respect the target as a person – before, during and after the sarge. If you don't respect her, then you don't respect yourself – you are trying to hook-up with her after all.

Naw me not respecting them is not the problem. Some of them are just rude towards any advance. I don’t start up any convo perceiving anyone to be a certain way.

Be the master of your reality. You can talk about anything in front of anyone. Don't let social constraints stop you from doing the Right Thing (tm).

Yah man I’ll do my best. I would so love to get to that place

Even better try this. Be happy that the AMOG hooked up with her. Really. I mean, it wasn't you, it was him. So you can't affect that part of reality. However, you can affect how you frame what happened. Frame it as being happy for him and suddenly you aren't upset anymore and the rest of your class goes better.

As a side to this, it is easier to frame happiness for the AMOG and her hooking up when you Eliminate Competitive Motivation from your reality. You aren't in any competition with any body else.


My opinion is that you should work on getting your inner values in line. The main suggestion is this:
Don't care what happens – Keep your emotions independent of the outcome.


I D L H

That’s easier said then done. I don’t even try to get emotional in regard to girls but they seem to come along for the ride. You can see that I have it set up like a project right now for self improvement. Despite that any perceived rejection especially when I think I have a shot cuts deep. That being said ill try to keep my emotion independent.

As for the AMOG I don’t think they are hooking up only walked out together. But if they are I guess I should be happy. The only competition is with myself. That being said that guy rubs me the wrong way, with his overt ****iness and I’d like to put a fist through his head. It is a martial arts class.

But if being happy puts my life in a better place it has to be done.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Hey man, look at the bright side:
You're single so you can still have ANY girl in the world. The guys you see who have gf's are mostly all pus-sywhipped to the point that they will never have anything else.

 

[ShyRyder]

Hey guess who just called me right now.

Library girl

She repeatedly apologized for saying not being available when plans were made. We talked for a bit. Yo this girl likes me hard. First off she has a boyfriend just found out right now. (I knew it wasn’t her brother) But it seems like she doesn’t care and wants to get together. We were taking about dancing for a bit and she’s like “ I know you can move”. Then telling me how she likes intelligent guys. We made plans for Friday and I told her to call if she can’t make it. I just remembered now I have my personal training course on Friday.
Anyways well see.

Hey say if I was an honorable guy how would I approach the her boyfriend thing?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by ShyRyder
Hey guess who just called me right now.

Library girl

She repeatedly apologized for saying not being available when plans were made. We talked for a bit. Yo this girl likes me hard. First off she has a boyfriend just found out right now. (I knew it wasn’t her brother) But it seems like she doesn’t care and wants to get together. We were taking about dancing for a bit and she’s like “ I know you can move”. Then telling me how she likes intelligent guys. We made plans for Friday and I told her to call if she can’t make it. I just remembered now I have my personal training course on Friday.
Anyways well see.

Hey say if I was an honorable guy how would I approach the her boyfriend thing?

Hey guess who shouldn't give a shiat about library girl??


YOU!!!


This chick has already shown you that she's disrespectful, flakey and now she's willing to hang out with you behind her bf's back?? Hmm, sounds like a plate filled with drama is coming your way. Don't let your desperate, impede your ability to eliminate the bad girls from the good ones. This girl will only do one thing, break your heart!

Your not a DJ around her because your tolerating her bullshyt, showing your desperation by agreeing to even communicate with her still and on top of that you scheduled a get together for Friday!!! Big mistake bro!!


Trouble lies head.



PIMP

 

[ShyRyder]

Pimp-
Ok she did kind of disrespect me but what if she really did forget. And she is really busy she works at 2 different libraries and goes to school. As for the behind Bf back I don’t know. As for me being desperate yah I am a little but I don’t want to give this girl my heart just wanna fvck. Maybe I’m not a mature enough DJ too stay out of exclusive relationship/ get a fvck buddy but I think it’s worth the risk. A flak out on Friday night beats surfing the sosuave tips section or watching samurai jack(love that show).

I don’t agree
It’s possible she is attention whoring but I really think she’s into me.
Other opinions???

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by ShyRyder
Pimp-
Ok she did kind of disrespect me but what if she really did forget. And she is really busy she works at 2 different libraries and goes to school. As for the behind Bf back I don’t know. As for me being desperate yah I am a little but I don’t want to give this girl my heart just wanna fvck. Maybe I’m not a mature enough DJ too stay out of exclusive relationship/ get a fvck buddy but I think it’s worth the risk. A flak out on Friday night beats surfing the sosuave tips section or watching samurai jack(love that show).

I don’t agree
It’s possible she is attention whoring but I really think she’s into me.
Other opinions???

Persistency is a good quality to have when the girl is worth your while for something more than a fuvk. You don't get fuvk buddies by being persistent, you ge fuvk buddies by being THE MAN! And about the whole forgetting thing. Yes, its completely possible that she forgot about your get together. But then what does that say about her interest level in you? Not much!!! And when was the last time you "forgot" about a get together with a girl you were really into and was super hot? Point, Set, Match!

Its ok to be desperate in disguise, but you never want to show this to a girl, which you are. Your also showing neediness, respecting her DISRESPECT of you and letting her dictate the agenda. Not worth the trouble bro. But, I'll let you learn the hard way. Not saying she won't show up on Friday, but I'd be surprised if you get anywhere with her.

As you mature in the DJ game, you'll learn to eliminate the bad ones from the good ones. You'll also learn that red flags early on, are only a sign of bigger ones down the road.



PIMP

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Good post.... yeah, be careful with her dude. I personally don't put up with a lot of "busy" bullshi-t that women feed you, because it is almost always a sign of low interest (or a bit-ch test), so you gotta turn that shi-t around on her and force HER to make some of the effort. That is not always that easy, and sometimes doesn't happen, but I just don't want you wasting time on girls with low IL's. SHE doesn't call the shots, YOU do. Tell her you're too busy to do something with her, THEN see what happens. It should raise her IL pretty well, and if not, she wasn't into you at all in the first place. Seriously though, I like your persistance, but enough is enough. You have better things to do than chase after her silly ass.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Well you just gotta go with your instincts... sometimes the opposite of what you reason is the right answer. For instance, if the attraction level is really high for her, she might just be too afraid to call you because she is scared of messing things up.... that is always a possibility. You don't want to miss out on these girls because you didn't feel like putting in any more effort, but like I said, there's always a cut-off. Make the first call of course, and then WAIT to see if she calls you back. You might think she has forgotten about you, but like I said above, she might be afraid, OR she could be testing you to see if you're desperate enough to call back. In either case, it is always recommended that you wait at least a few days before giving her another call. If she had already called you back, you're in pretty well, but if not, give it another round and see what you can do... it doesn't hurt anything. None of this is set in stone, but obviously, if you're at one extreme or the other, like putting in zero effort and never calling or talking long enough to establish some IL, or on the other hand calling her twice a day and leaving her voice messages, you shouldn't do that.

I personally hate playing phone tag, but some girls take longer than others to get comfortable with the new situation (relationship). You want to meet her in person again asap, but don't try to rush things or you might "weird her out." It is a fine balance. I really have no good answer for the question but if you do what I said above you should be fine. Most men will call constantly thinking they are "in," when they're really not. Don't do it. Call, let her call back (usually will), wait a bit, build the anticipation, call, and soon you should have something going and an arranged meeting somewhere with her.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

hmmmm, convo is the easy part for me usually.... it's getting their asses in gear to meet me again that can be the biggest challenge.

 

[ShyRyder]

Originally posted by SODA-dj
I've gotten her to reveal certain things about herself to me.

I was wondering about this is it always the girl who goes first in revealing things or does it matter. Cause i know once you share a little secret details about each other the comfort level goes up.

-ryder

Update
nothing new last few days have been slow. Went to martial art class on Monday Rusian girl wasn't there. My next class is tomarrow ill do my best to chat with her and ask her what happen to our date.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

I wouldn't even talk about "what happened to your date." It gives her the impression that you care, and that is bad. What you WANT to do is give her the impression you don't really need/want her and have better things to do than play her games. I recommend you tell her you hung out with some other girl or did something else exciting or something like that, even if it is a lie (how the hel-l would she know?). Act like the date never even existed, and trust me, she'll wonder why you don't seem to care, and you will be that much closer to hooking up with her.

This may seem to contradict the "don't put up with her bullshi-t" approach, but it doesn't because you still aren't putting up with her bullshi-t... you're just not even acknowledging her bullshi-t exists in the first place. Ignore a girl, and magic can happen.

 

[TurboLover]

Keep them NEW approaches coming.

 

[Charm Artist]

I suggest using the mystery method, because overall it has worked the best for me.

Keep your opening as casual as possible, dont even convey any kind of interest towards her... but of course do the obvious (keep eye contact, positive body language, well-groomed, etc) Opinion openers to me, seem the best because your disarming the obstacle by coming in indirectly. Most beautiful woman are acustomed to catcalls and whatnot.. the same lines of "whats your name, where u from, how are u?" are constantly being portrayed to them. Instead, try coming in at an angle, smiling (not with your teeth showin just a slight grin) and asking, "So who lies more? men or woman?" or "Hey, i need a female opinion on something. Would you date someone who was still good friends with their ex-girlfriend?" and when they answer ask why and go forth from there. Your voice tone should always be slightly merrier than normal. The point is to come across as a stranger that not only portrays confidence but fun and an open-mind. Learn kino tests like cold-reading. Girls love it when you demonstrate a higher value, whether it be magic tricks, a little fake mind reading or anything that could tell them about themselves. Why do you think girls are so into horoscopes, chick flicks, and whatnot.

****y and funny, and negging are necessities. For instance, if a girl asks for your number instead of giving you hers say, "I don't know baby i cost $1.99 a minute" or "1900hotsex4u" somethin thats not the ordinary response.

I will write more later, but for now good luck and keep approaching

-Charm Artist

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Haha man, I'm gonna use that line: "I don't know baby i cost $1.99 a minute"..... it's hilarious.
Usually when they don't give me their number, instead of persisting or begging like all the other guys would, I just laugh at them and walk away.... but I am gonna use that line and then reiterate after their laughing "Give me your number," and I think that would make the number close successful more of the time when I get resistance without me walking away too early.
Also, I think a lot of guys spend too much time worrying about what they will say when they first open their mouths... the opener doesn't have to be perfect, it is just a way of getting your foot in the door. If it is not perfect, so what, you still are much better off than if you had said nothing to her. That said, there is nothing more natural than a situational type opener. Comment on the weather, her crazy outfit, the professor, last weekends game, anything to get her talking. Unless she is a cold bi-tch, she is going to at least give you an opportunity to talk to her. Remember not to come off as too interested of course. Here is my rule of thumb:
convey interest with body language and actions, but not your words.

 

[ShyRyder]

Ok Update on the joyless existence that is my life

Pimpfromdayone- playing it cool and acting like nothing happen when Russian girl stood me up would be good if I could open my fvcking mouth too speak. She didn’t show Wednesday but she came Friday not that it makes any difference. I wanted to go over to where she was stretching but the fear just held in my place. I would say that I would talk to her next class but chances are it’s not going to be just me and her in the studio. So I hurry up an leave the studio for my big “date” cause I’m running kind of late.

Ok back story
I call library girl on Thursday to confirm for Friday. I say I won’t be getting home until 8:00pm on Friday and that we should reach a movie for 10:30pm she says that 10:00 is her self imposed curfew. I say Ok fine lets just go for coffee then. She agrees and I tell her I’m going to call her at 8:00 pm or around 8pm. (forgot too tell her to call me if there was and change in plans) *foreshadowing*

Fast forward
So I’m running a little late trying to make every train in the subway and catch every bus. I’m frantic and getting a little bit worried at the time. I finally make it home bust open the door strip off all my none essential gear. Pick up the remote and put on the basketball game. Phew!! It’s Only the beginning of the third quarter so my anxiety drops. The phone is close enough to the couch so cynically I dial library girl’s number curios to what it going to be this time. It rings and rings with no answer big surprise. The time is 8:27.

I leave a message with the secretary because she lives on residence. I come on so suave and read Eulogy response to my thread about how to handle a girl who flakes. I try to get my self a little bit more angry then I actually am so I can tell her off.
My team loses because the rookies only show up in the fourth. Phone rings at 10:30pm with the I.D glen residence.

*Pick up phone*

Silent pause

Ryder: What happen to you? (menacingly)

Gyal: I’m sorry. (a little startled)

Ryder: I told u I would call you at around 8.

Gyal: yah

Gyal: But u didn’t.

Ryder: So why didn’t you wait?

Here comes a load of bull****, I can’t even remember what she said it went something like this.

Gyal: when did u call me?

Ryder: 8:30!

Gyal: (can’t even remember) something that she left her house at 8:20 to go hang out with her brother and sister. Either because she though I wouldn’t call or because it passed 8pm. Or some other bull****
( should have said Eulogy’s respect me and my time right there and hanged up)

Gyal: This time it’s not completely my fault

ShyRyder: Yah (I think I started to concede at this time, wow what a bltch I am)
.
.
.
.
Gyal: So how was you day?

Shy: blah yours? (confused thinking maybe I had some fault in calling at 8:30)

Gyal: blah blah

Shy&desperate: So when are u available?

Gyal: I don’t know Wednesday, my schedule is really busy its really quite annoying.

Ryder: Yah I know it’s annoying! (haha good job)

Gyal: As if you just said that(softly)

Ryder: Yah well this is the second time this has happen!

Gyal: Yah

Gyal: blah blah

Shy: blah

Shy: yah listen I’ll call you in the week or something see what’s up?

Gyal: ok good night

Shy: aight good night.

Ok maybe I shouldn’t even be considering my next actions but I will. In our few meetings her interest level seems really high with the things that she said and her body language.

Cons
There are too many holes.
She tells me her curfew is 10pm but then she talks about how she goes clubbing.
She says she is really busy but can’t meet me for coffee after work when I live literally seconds always.
She couldn’t wait 20 minutes.
Sosauve says it all about her actions so I’ll next.

DJ’s say???
How do I handle her when I see her in the library? Reading is fun and I have no friends.

Update 2
Email that Tee girl but she hasn’t got back to me and I really don’t go on msn messenger that much.

Man I feel like a loser hard for not talking to the Russian girl. It’s like I’m a fvcking defective human who can’t talk to girls. Yah so today I’ll probably go to the mall for a bit. I missed a couple of cold approaches in the week. I need an approach to make me feel better.

Still in the game barley
-Shyryder

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Dam-n man, that is rough, I feel ya. If I were you I would just forget about all of those girls and start over... find some new ones. Your convo with the library girl was pretty bad. You should never have shown any anger or annoyance that she didn't show up. Just because you treat her indifferently won't make you a bi-tch, it will in fact have the opposite effect. You can call her out on her bullshi-t without acting upset. See, the problem is, when this happens, not only do you hint to her that you're desperate and stuff, but you also give her complete control of the game. In order to maintain control on these flaky girls you have to pretend nothing they do is important to you, which will in effect give them zero feeling of power over you.

You definitely should have called her at 8:00. She probably is using that as an excuse, like all her other bullshi-t excuses, but if she actually was expecting the call and then left, it was your fault there... BUT that is no reason why you couldn't keep the IL high.

"Self-imposed curfew at 10 pm"....... hahahhahahhhaha, I'm gonna use that one sometime myself..... yeaaaah, right, she goes clubbing and shi-t but never stays up past 10. Even if it were true you weren't even important enough to her for her to make one tiny exception.....In fact I don't know ANYONE who doesn't stay up that late. Think about what this is telling you. I know you should always go by her actions, but dam-n, if this isn't a sign, I don't know what is. Forget her dude, move on.