Short Men: Why Women Aren't Attracted Enough to Date Them

[DonJuanjr]

I'm unapologetically masculine.

Can you go into detail about what makes you unapologetically masculine?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Can you go into detail about what makes you unapologetically masculine?

These days, many masculine men are considered 'toxic' (especially in the U.S.) and feel like they have to apologise for their masculine traits.

IDGAF about other people's opinions. And I sure don't apologise for my masculine traits.

 

[DonJuanjr]

And I sure don't apologise for my masculine traits.

What do you consider masculine traits?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

What do you consider masculine traits?

Which are you curious about: hegemonic, complicit, marginalized, and subordinate masculinities?

 

[DonJuanjr]

Which are you curious about: hegemonic, complicit, marginalized, and subordinate masculinities?

All

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

All

R.W Connell, in her book Masculinities (1995), argues that what is important to a meaningful analysis of gender and masculinity is the “…processes and relationships through which men and women conduct gendered lives. ‘Masculinity’, to the extent the term can be briefly defined at all, is simultaneously a place in gender relations, the practices through which men and women engage that place in gender, and the effects of these practices in bodily experience, personality and culture”65.

Connell argues that it is important to consider the power relationships between different masculinities as well as their relationships with femininities in order to analyse how these relationships act to reproduce, support or challenge the distribution of power in society. She identifies five categories of masculinities, which have been criticised, and should be regarded as fluid rather than rigid:

Hegemonic masculinities are masculinities that are highly visible, respected, and occupy a position of authority in relation to other masculinities, within a particular setting. Such masculinities may not be the most widespread form, but they are likely to be those most admired, and they represent standards for others. Examples might include decisive business leaders, popular boys in a peer group, and certain sportsmen. Hegemonic masculinities can be seen as dominant in the entire gender order. A successful claim to authority is the mark of hegemony, rather than acts of direct violence, although violence underpins and supports this authority. Hegemony is supported by the production of exemplars - symbols with recognised authority - even though most men cannot live up to the ideal.

Complicit masculinities
To be complicit means to condone or support something, without being actively engaged in it. Complicit masculinities are those that benefit in general from the social dominance of men, while not actively seeking to oppress women. A complicit action would be to deny the existence of inequality or other problems, or merely not to question the way in which gender relations are generally ordered.

Subordinate masculinities
Within the overall framework, there are gender relations of dominance and subordination between groups of men. The most common example is the dominance of heterosexual men and the subordination of homosexual men. From the point of view of hegemonic masculinities, homosexuality is easily assimilated to femininity, and is therefore seen to be inferior. Other examples include men who have made a conscious effort to contest and ‘exit’ from hegemonic and complicit positions, or those whose physical appearance does not conform to standards set by hegemonic exemplars.

Marginalised masculinities
Marginalised masculinities are those that are categorised as different, on the basis of class, ethnicity or status. They may display and enjoy masculine power in certain contexts but are always ultimately compared to the hegemonic norms and images66.

Protest masculinities
Protest masculinities represent a pattern of masculinity constructed in local working-class settings, sometimes among ethnically marginalised men, which embody the same claims to power of typical hegemonic masculinities, but which lack the economic resources and institutional authority which underpin regional and global patterns67

Source: https://www.coe.int/en/web/gender-matters/masculinities#{"67587103":[0]}

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Not my experience while I was serving and certainly not my experience since serving. It’s also not niche, women like men who are leaders, strong, capable, in shape, confident, dangerous and clean cut; all things that a veteran can be and often is.

I don’t have to even identify myself as such, people often ask. I’d say most well adjusted women are attracted to the attributes listed above. Many have thanked me for my service to my country, serially…

In any case I’m seeing a change, may not be the case elsewhere, but it is here.

It always was the case

If you think about it, military guys are very masculine but yet they have one of the worst dating life out there

Being masculine is mainly about not supplicating and having your own journey, not whatever most people think

 

[Crissco]

Ill shine in one this since im 5'5, 5'6...Yes it is harder, but I never had an issue. I had sex with about 150 women in my 20s, given I was muscular / athletic, but i also carry myself well with confidence. All of my dads side of the family is 6'0 plus, tallest being 6'6 so thats the world i grew up in, I act like im 6'2 personality wise and how i walk(most of the time except on days im feeling down)...It also comes down to the woman feeling safe around. you. Ive had a lot of women tell me how safe they feel around me. They know I will fight anyone no matter the size IF NEEDED. So im sure that aura helps me out.

One thing i noticed its getting worse in the past 5 years. I was in a relationship for 4 years, got back on tinder and bumble and not getting as many matches as i did 5 years ago when i was single.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Not my experience while I was serving and certainly not my experience since serving. It’s also not niche, women like men who are leaders, strong, capable, in shape, confident, dangerous and clean cut; all things that a veteran can be and often is.

No matter how effeminate society becomes, capable masculine men in authoritative uniforms will always be attractive to women. Combat veteran, airline pilot, secret service agents... And since much of that is in the attitude, most women recognise the combat veterans out of uniform as well.

Even with the transient life in the professional military, most professional soldiers have no trouble finding women and binding them to them, and that won't change in a hurry.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

There’s no having a discussion about this because it’s a positive for those who have served and most here have not.Therefore, the group will tear it down as untrue or irrelevant. Never mind most of the kids here where brought up to believe that soldiers are just white guys that want to kill brown people in the desert - and therefore it makes their precious little heads blow up to think those evil guys could be attractive to women, when they themselves aren’t.

It’s much like all the skinny-fat dudes refusing to start working out and getting jacked, they don’t want to so they start the whole “women don’t like jacked physiques” discussion line.

Frankly? IDGAF what these kids think - I can only relate what my experience is and sometimes how I got to this place. I hope some of my posts have even helped ONE man here to understand.

No matter how effeminate society becomes, capable masculine men in authoritative uniforms will always be attractive to women. Combat veteran, airline pilot, secret service agents... And since much of that is in the attitude, most women recognise the combat veterans out of uniform as well.

Even with the transient life in the professional military, most professional soldiers have no trouble finding women and binding them to them, and that won't change in a hurry.

 

[BadBoy89]

im 5'5, 5'6...

I had sex with about 150 women in my 20s,

150 women / 10 years = 15 women / year

15 women / 12 months = 1.25 women / month

You slept with a new woman every month for 10 years with your height? I don't think Leonardo or Brad could do that in their heyday.

We got some serious players in here.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

That’s not out of the question if you’re doing hookups. Like not remotely, now sustaining it for 10 years? Well that’s up the the man. In my 50’s I’d say I average close to 10 new lays a year…some years better some a little worse: 9/2023 I’ve got 10 under my belt.


Why is this such an affront to you?

Is this the part where you say they’re all warthogs?

150 women / 10 years = 15 women / year

15 women / 12 months = 1.25 women / month

You slept with a new woman every month for 10 years with your height? I don't think Leonardo or Brad could do that in their heyday.

We got some serious players in here.

 

[Crissco]

150 women / 10 years = 15 women / year

15 women / 12 months = 1.25 women / month

You slept with a new woman every month for 10 years with your height? I don't think Leonardo or Brad could do that in their heyday.

We got some serious players in here.

Look at my post history for a couple of year ago, I was actually hesitant to post in this thread since there are way to many non believers and incel losers on the forum now a days. Anyway, no big deal, you can believe what you want. 1 woman a month is NOTHING, especially when online dating was booming 5-8 years ago. Also fyi no not everyone everymonth. Sometimes its was two in one day

 

[SargeMaximus]

I’m 6 feet on the nose and going through quite the dry spell. Had sex 26 times this year which is more than last year but still. Terrible compared to years pruir to then

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I'm 6'3" and have been rejected by a 6'0" female because she had a 6'5" minimum requirement. I kid you not. Does she know how many men are 6'5" or taller? Gonna be a long wait.

AND she has to be competitive in that race as well, most women are not used to competing for a man's attention except the ones that always win, women don't handle rejection like men do.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Look at my post history for a couple of year ago, I was actually hesitant to post in this thread since there are way to many non believers and incel losers on the forum now a days. Anyway, no big deal, you can believe what you want. 1 woman a month is NOTHING, especially when online dating was booming 5-8 years ago. Also fyi no not everyone everymonth. Sometimes its was two in one day

Yes, there was a time when you weren't even reprimanded and could get laid off a single D pic, where as today you'll be banned and possibly added to some name/shame forum that exists, they literally have a forum on POF where women post pics of 'Creepy Dudes' and have lookout lists.

 

[Crissco]

Yes, there was a time when you weren't even reprimanded and could get laid off a single D pic, where as today you'll be banned and possibly added to some name/shame forum that exists, they literally have a forum on POF where women post pics of 'Creepy Dudes' and have lookout lists.

Yup exactly, 2013-2014 was prime, this was before tinder had paying tiers, I would swipe on 1000 woman in like 5 minutes with an app called tinderoid. Got so many matches from using that app it was crazy. I also used POF, okcupid, you name it I was on it. Also, I didnt have a steady job at the time so my whole day was focused on collecting numbers and getting laid. It literally became an obsession

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I spoke to a short Asian girl who said she liked extremely tall men. I told her she just didn't want to kneel when orally pleasuring a man. She replied that it was an adventure sitting on their shoulders like a little girl going through the fair.

So we have a date tomorrow.

 

[Slowhandluke]

I’m 6 feet on the nose and going through quite the dry spell. Had sex 26 times this year which is more than last year but still. Terrible compared to years pruir to then

I think the average 30 year old is a virgin... hear that? That's the smallest violin playing...

 

[MatureDJ]

Ill shine in one this since im 5'5, 5'6...Yes it is harder, but I never had an issue. I had sex with about 150 women in my 20s, given I was muscular / athletic, but i also carry myself well with confidence. All of my dads side of the family is 6'0 plus, tallest being 6'6 so thats the world i grew up in, I act like im 6'2 personality wise and how i walk(most of the time except on days im feeling down)...It also comes down to the woman feeling safe around. you. Ive had a lot of women tell me how safe they feel around me. They know I will fight anyone no matter the size IF NEEDED. So im sure that aura helps me out.

One thing i noticed its getting worse in the past 5 years. I was in a relationship for 4 years, got back on tinder and bumble and not getting as many matches as i did 5 years ago when i was single.

Were those chicks fat?