She said I'm too nice -- why?

[Latinoman]

but I know she meant well by it because the next day she left me a message saying, "I know you probably don't wanna hear from me, but I'm not really like that like I was last night." And, she invited me to see her later on.

Well...you obviously did something AFTER the "nice guy" remark. To the point that she even told you: "I know you probably don't wanna hear from me, but I'm not really like that like I was last night."

I mean, women know that a "nice guy" would want to hear from them, regardless of the woman's behavior.

Finally...she sounds like a teenager.

 

[Bonhomme]

I did not plow through all the responses (though Water Tiger's comment was 24-karat gold), but I got tired reading the original post. I could imagine her being freaked out by seeing the smoke coming out of your ears from all the wheels that were turning in there.

This is a phase guys go through when trying (way too hard) to unlearn old bad behaviors and re-train themselves. But it needn't be all that complicated. These days, the less I try, the better I do.

Enjoy the ride, bro. Don't make any assumptions other than that she wants to come over and enjoy herself (not necessarily spend the night, much less get laid), and have a good time.

 

[CoolRunning]

UPDATE:

So I've been on 3 dates with her by now. The 3rd date, I had her lying on her bed with only panties on, but I basically had to caveman her to that point - she was kissing me but definitely not grinding on me, showing signs of being turned on, etc. She put up some serious LMR and I stopped, I just got completely turned off by her lack of getting into it.

This is the conversation:

Girl: I think this is as far as I want to go tonight. I know it's frustrating and all
Me: Girl, stop talking...you don't have to explain yourself. Let's just enjoy this.

And then we cuddled and eventually I left. I think she may be low self esteem, she is kind of pudgy and was putting her arms over her stomach, making comments like "this is what I look like with my shirt off" and "I'm a little curvy"... the girl I ****ed (the one girl) was not like this, when she got turned on, she was TURNED ON, grinding on me, kissing me, helping me undress her, etc. Not just lying there.

Any advice?

 

[Latinoman]

UPDATE:

So I've been on 3 dates with her by now. The 3rd date, I had her lying on her bed with only panties on, but I basically had to caveman her to that point - she was kissing me but definitely not grinding on me, showing signs of being turned on, etc. She put up some serious LMR and I stopped, I just got completely turned off by her lack of getting into it.

This is the conversation:

Girl: I think this is as far as I want to go tonight. I know it's frustrating and all
Me: Girl, stop talking...you don't have to explain yourself. Let's just enjoy this.

And then we cuddled and eventually I left. I think she may be low self esteem, she is kind of pudgy and was putting her arms over her stomach, making comments like "this is what I look like with my shirt off" and "I'm a little curvy"... the girl I ****ed (the one girl) was not like this, when she got turned on, she was TURNED ON, grinding on me, kissing me, helping me undress her, etc. Not just lying there.

Any advice?

For some women "cuddle" is the equivalent to "sex" for man. Too much cuddleling (by the way, some cuddleling is important in a RELATIONSHIP) and you might end up like a teddy bear.


However, she is definetally interested. She needs reassurance. Listen, most women (not all) are like that. Even the ones that show "confident" outside. You need to hone more your "seducing" skills. But I feel you are going to be alright.

Note: ALWAYS offer to turn the lights off if you sense that she is self-concious (which is a TURN OFF for me too).

Overall...I think you are doing a LOT more better than most men.

That is based on the little information I have.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3:

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

When a woman makes you wait for sex you are not her highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous, chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation of a friendship. It's sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to fvck you will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, fvck the sh!t out of you and wait patiently inside your closet when your wife comes home early from work - women who want to fvck will find a way to fvck.

I agree with the takeaway methodology in principle, but in this girl's situation your effort might be better spent with more productive women. I'm not a big fan of overcoming LMR in sexual situations. Aside from the 'date rape' vaugeries, I think finding a woman who is unquestionably ready to go is time better spent than trying to solve her head puzzles or falling into the trap of becoming her cuddle b!tch. I'm of the opinion that If a girl is that into you she'll fvck regardless of ASD or having her sorority friends in the room videotaping it. All women can be slvts, you just have to be the right guy to bring it out in them, and this happens before you go back to her place. If you have to plead your case cuddling on the bed, you need to go back to square one and start fresh

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

I agree 100% here. Girls that make you wait are either prudes/religious, insecure, or have low IL ---- none of the situations that you want to be in. A little bit of LMR can be OK as long as it's along the lines of... "oh I never do this on the FIRST date."

I can't remember the last time I've encountered LMR but I definitely spend a lot of time getting the girl worked up (e.g. teasing, playful kissing, hair pulling, etc.) before I progress to the sex, at which point, she's practically pulling me into the bedroom.

 

[Latinoman]

Personally...and this is ME...I would have not wasted THREE dates with that woman.

But every man is different.

 

[CoolRunning]

Personally...and this is ME...I would have not wasted THREE dates with that woman.

But every man is different.

Well...you are also good with women

I've only ****ed ONE chick. I have low self confidence with women. I still struggle to convince myself that the chick I ****ed was because I had some small amount of game, that she wasn't a fluke.

Being able to **** other chicks, even if they are kinda pudgy, feels important to me. I am going to follow through with it, **** her, then leave her in a few weeks.

 

[Latinoman]

Well...you are also good with women

I've only ****ed ONE chick. I have low self confidence with women. I still struggle to convince myself that the chick I ****ed was because I had some small amount of game, that she wasn't a fluke.

Being able to **** other chicks, even if they are kinda pudgy, feels important to me. I am going to follow through with it, **** her, then leave her in a few weeks.

For a person that has only phucked one chick, I must admit that you are doing pretty well.

I would not call myself "good with women". I'm GREAT with the women that show an interst in me.

I cannot just go to a place and get ANY woman I want to feel an interest for me. Because I don't care about trying to gain a particular women interest. I only show interest for those that show interest (e.g. send signals) to me.

 

[Bonhomme]

The guys are right on. This all goes back to the most basic principle of not getting too worked up about any one woman until she's earned such attention. There are thousands of others out there.

I cannot just go to a place and get ANY woman I want to feel an interest for me. Because I don't care about trying to gain a particular women interest. I only show interest for those that show interest (e.g. send signals) to me.

my emphasis

That about nails it. That's why the way you carry and present yourself is so huge.