She said I'm too nice -- why?

[wayword]

But the interesting thing is, another one of her complaints was "men always wanting to marry her".

I wouldn't automatically believe this.

But then again, in our AFC nation - I wouldn't necessarily doubt it, either...

 

[Latinoman]

But the interesting thing is, another one of her complaints was "men always wanting to marry her".

That is the equivalent of "I am the one that always end my relationships".

She is trying to QUALIFY herself.

A warning sign in the sense that is clearly an act of insecurity.

 

[STR8UP]

I wouldn't automatically believe this.

But then again, in our AFC nation - I wouldn't necessarily doubt it, either...

Yea, another lady friend of mine started dating this guy a few weeks ago. About two weeks in he started telling her he wanted to meet her kids, started talking about getting serious and stuff AFTER ONLY TWO WEEKS!

Bet you can guess how long that relationship lasted

 

[STR8UP]

That is the equivalent of "I am the one that always end my relationships".

She is trying to QUALIFY herself.

A warning sign in the sense that is clearly an act of insecurity.

I honestly could care less.

Not looking for a wife, I just wanna FUKK.

 

[CoolRunning]

So she comes over, I greet her with a hug, and put her to work helping me with dinner. I changed my style this time from being high energy and joking, to concentrating on alphaness, and rewarding good things with smiles instead of smiling all the time. We had a good conversation, and got into some deep rapport type stuff (which groups she ran with in high school, what her passions are, discussed some philosophy, etc). Body language wasn't great, but remember this is an online dating» girl...maybe she's just not calibrated like other girls. I mean I would not have at all guessed she'd agree to COME OVER TO MY PLACE based on her BL on the day1...but whatever!

So I asked if she wanted to see a movie, after we had finished dinner, and she hesitated, looked at the time, and said okay. As we were sitting down to watch, I said "hey, c'mere", hugged her, looked at her, then kissed her. She said "and that's the first kiss" <nervous laugh>. I said, "and here's the second". And I made out with her for 30 seconds or so. We sat and watched the movie, my arm around her. She reciprocated my hand kino, but nothing much else. When I moved her leg to intertwine with mine, she allowed it, but she didn't do it on her own (repeatedly).

I made out with her several times during the movie, and grazed up along her breasts (she's got GREAT ones), but I felt she was protecting them from being touched by subtly taking my hand to fondle it whenever I touched them. Touching the bare skin of her lower back was not a problem. She seemed content to make out with me for as long as I wanted, but I always stopped the making out before she did.

We were sitting on a recliner and the logistics for making out weren't great. Maybe a couch would be better? What do you think? Anyway, I was concentrating on the "escalation ladder", but I felt that she was not moving to accomodate further making out, but kind of staying still. I could have moved on top of her but I thought that might have been too much. At one point I tried a small freeze out, I go "We're just making out, nothing more." and she's like "Yeah, I know. Just making out". I kissed her neck a few times, but it didn't fix things.

I'm going to see her next week...do you have any advice? One thing is, while making out, I never really say anything. I simply don't know what to say. I told her she was very kissable. Then I told her she kissed very gently, that I liked it. But apart from that, are there things I should be saying when we're arm-in-arm, just finished kissing?

BTW: you're sitting with her on the couch. How the hell do you kiss the back of her neck? What are the logistics when she doesn't jump on top of you and start grinding? Should I just have taken her hand and, without saying a word, escorted her to my bedroom halfway through the movie even given the resistance to touching her breasts?

Really what I want to know here is if I escalated enough. The moving my hand away from her breasts was a "no", for sure. But not a verbal one. And she did still keep making out with me. It's been about 6 hours with her so far, so I'm in the 4-10 hr mark. Should I play it by ear and try to escalate more strongly next time since it'll be closer to the 'magic' 7?

 

[jonwon]

So she comes over, I greet her with a hug, and put her to work helping me with dinner. I changed my style this time from being high energy and joking, to concentrating on alphaness, and rewarding good things with smiles instead of smiling all the time. We had a good conversation, and got into some deep rapport type stuff (which groups she ran with in high school, what her passions are, discussed some philosophy, etc). Body language wasn't great, but remember this is an online dating» girl...maybe she's just not calibrated like other girls. I mean I would not have at all guessed she'd agree to COME OVER TO MY PLACE based on her BL on the day1...but whatever!

So I asked if she wanted to see a movie, after we had finished dinner, and she hesitated, looked at the time, and said okay. As we were sitting down to watch, I said "hey, c'mere", hugged her, looked at her, then kissed her. She said "and that's the first kiss" <nervous laugh>. I said, "and here's the second". And I made out with her for 30 seconds or so. We sat and watched the movie, my arm around her. She reciprocated my hand kino, but nothing much else. When I moved her leg to intertwine with mine, she allowed it, but she didn't do it on her own (repeatedly).

I made out with her several times during the movie, and grazed up along her breasts (she's got GREAT ones), but I felt she was protecting them from being touched by subtly taking my hand to fondle it whenever I touched them. Touching the bare skin of her lower back was not a problem. She seemed content to make out with me for as long as I wanted, but I always stopped the making out before she did.

We were sitting on a recliner and the logistics for making out weren't great. Maybe a couch would be better? What do you think? Anyway, I was concentrating on the "escalation ladder", but I felt that she was not moving to accomodate further making out, but kind of staying still. I could have moved on top of her but I thought that might have been too much. At one point I tried a small freeze out, I go "We're just making out, nothing more." and she's like "Yeah, I know. Just making out". I kissed her neck a few times, but it didn't fix things.

I'm going to see her next week...do you have any advice? One thing is, while making out, I never really say anything. I simply don't know what to say. I told her she was very kissable. Then I told her she kissed very gently, that I liked it. But apart from that, are there things I should be saying when we're arm-in-arm, just finished kissing?

BTW: you're sitting with her on the couch. How the hell do you kiss the back of her neck? What are the logistics when she doesn't jump on top of you and start grinding? Should I just have taken her hand and, without saying a word, escorted her to my bedroom halfway through the movie even given the resistance to touching her breasts?

Really what I want to know here is if I escalated enough. The moving my hand away from her breasts was a "no", for sure. But not a verbal one. And she did still keep making out with me. It's been about 6 hours with her so far, so I'm in the 4-10 hr mark. Should I play it by ear and try to escalate more strongly next time since it'll be closer to the 'magic' 7?

Seems like your doing just fine to me, why over analyze all this?

What do you feel you did wrong.

No i would not have lead her hand to the bedroom, she was not receptive at that time, you did the correct thing.

You escalated just fine with this girl, not all girls will fuc* you on the 2nd date or meet, you have progressed this just right. I dont care how uber or alpha any guy is here NO MAN can FUC* a women on the 1st date or second unless she as a solid part to play in it.

There is no skills PUA or anything to FORCE a women to have sex, that is called RAPE. To me you did and have done more then enough, to push it further would be touching on the realms of uncomfortable. Regardless of some tips, tricks or tactics posted you did well and are doing fine.

If you want statitics i have been with more women then i can remember or count and to me your doing more then ok.

I will say women are strange creatures, there is still no gurantee this could go further.

I have been with some women and no matter what i try it hust was not happening in the sex department, i am not saying this is one of those women all i am saying is carry on with what you are doing, if you find after about 4-5 dates she is not putting out, maybe she as got some other things going on, i.e. Catholic, religious, not in the mood (not sexual), wants attention but no sex (does happen).

Only thing you can do is be you, treat it like a fun game and with that at this stage keep your options open and get more women to learn from.

But i know from experiance, it really does not matter how good you are or how many women you have been with since in this game we are dealing with 'two' people and not just one, so in that it is never a 100% gurantee from stuff learned, you can NEVER be 100% a man who can game any women, since that in itself is impossible. With the right women this stuff is easier.

there are positive to this women and it seems she may be a keeper, she as not put out yet (does not mean she as not put out on the first date before), but still personnally i like it when i 'try' for sex and she resists and keeps me waiting, it makes me 'think' she can be trusted, i mean if i cant fuc* her it would take a better man then me to get sex out of her, may or may not be true but one cant help to take comfort in the fantasy of that.

Perosnnally i prefer women that dont fuc* on the first or second date for LTR, ones i do get to fuc* on the first night i have a hard time trusting, i know its fantasy and situation circumstance but still to me its a positive fantasy, rather then a fantasy wondering about the girl i have just fuc*ed after 4 hours of meeting and wondering how many 'other' guys have managed to do the same thing with her.

Just cos you have not fuc*ed her is not a bad thing, your doing ok, relax and enjoy and nice work a little too good for a guy who as just lost his virginity.

Only thing to add, is next time put some drinks Alcohol into the mix, it helps loosen inhabitions, a few bottles of wine with the film or the movie is a great way to loosen you BOTH up.

 

[edmond]

She said I'm too nice -- why?= Boring=You DO NOT make my Pvssy wet.

 

[Latinoman]

I honestly could care less.

Not looking for a wife, I just wanna FUKK.

Insecure women can make your life miserable. In fact, they can c0ckblock you in fashion as women tend to talk a lot (and some even write a lot).

 

[wayword]

Yea, another lady friend of mine started dating this guy a few weeks ago. About two weeks in he started telling her he wanted to meet her kids, started talking about getting serious and stuff AFTER ONLY TWO WEEKS!

Bet you can guess how long that relationship lasted

Lol, gawd how pathetic. He should have his man card PERMANENTLY REVOKED.

Wanting to get serious...with a MILF with kidS...after just 2 weeks?

Krist. I guess that was the first time he got laid in a few years?

And people wonder why even f'd up women are still such byches? CUZ AFC's LET THEM BE!

 

[CoolRunning]

So she comes over, I greet her with a hug, and put her to work helping me with dinner. I changed my style this time from being high energy and joking, to concentrating on alphaness, and rewarding good things with smiles instead of smiling all the time. We had a good conversation, and got into some deep rapport type stuff (which groups she ran with in high school, what her passions are, discussed some philosophy, etc). Body language wasn't great, but remember this is an online dating» girl...maybe she's just not calibrated like other girls. I mean I would not have at all guessed she'd agree to COME OVER TO MY PLACE based on her BL on the day1...but whatever!

So I asked if she wanted to see a movie, after we had finished dinner, and she hesitated, looked at the time, and said okay. As we were sitting down to watch, I said "hey, c'mere", hugged her, looked at her, then kissed her. She said "and that's the first kiss" <nervous laugh>. I said, "and here's the second". And I made out with her for 30 seconds or so. We sat and watched the movie, my arm around her. She reciprocated my hand kino, but nothing much else. When I moved her leg to intertwine with mine, she allowed it, but she didn't do it on her own (repeatedly).

I made out with her several times during the movie, and grazed up along her breasts (she's got GREAT ones), but I felt she was protecting them from being touched by subtly taking my hand to fondle it whenever I touched them. Touching the bare skin of her lower back was not a problem. She seemed content to make out with me for as long as I wanted, but I always stopped the making out before she did.

We were sitting on a recliner and the logistics for making out weren't great. Maybe a couch would be better? What do you think? Anyway, I was concentrating on the "escalation ladder", but I felt that she was not moving to accomodate further making out, but kind of staying still. I could have moved on top of her but I thought that might have been too much. At one point I tried a small freeze out, I go "We're just making out, nothing more." and she's like "Yeah, I know. Just making out". I kissed her neck a few times, but it didn't fix things.

I'm going to see her next week...do you have any advice? One thing is, while making out, I never really say anything. I simply don't know what to say. I told her she was very kissable. Then I told her she kissed very gently, that I liked it. But apart from that, are there things I should be saying when we're arm-in-arm, just finished kissing?

BTW: you're sitting with her on the couch. How the hell do you kiss the back of her neck? What are the logistics when she doesn't jump on top of you and start grinding? Should I just have taken her hand and, without saying a word, escorted her to my bedroom halfway through the movie even given the resistance to touching her breasts?

Really what I want to know here is if I escalated enough. The moving my hand away from her breasts was a "no", for sure. But not a verbal one. And she did still keep making out with me. It's been about 6 hours with her so far, so I'm in the 4-10 hr mark. Should I play it by ear and try to escalate more strongly next time since it'll be closer to the 'magic' 7?

Ok guys. We're going out again this week. It's a weeknight, so we can't stay out too late. I'm thinking of going out for dinner, then to some bar to play pool, then back to my place where I will try to escalate to sex.

Any tips on how to do this would be MUCH APPRECIATED.

 

[blueguy]

I'm 27.

No offense....... but it seems odd you would forget your own age/birthday. You were 27 more than a year ago? "1/1/2006: 27 y/o" It just reeks troll

 

[CoolRunning]

You're right, you found me out, I'm not on this site to get help with my dating life, I'm here to waste my time typing up huge reports of what didn't happen and chuckle in glee while people reply to them.

Anyone got any useful advice for the 3rd date given I made out with her on the 2nd?

 

[Tazman]

I think this situation is good AND bad. She's hanging out with you and kissed you, that's good. Your analyzing everything and coming back here with questions is bad. You're in a position of weakness, you don't believe in yourself and your confidence.

What you should be thinking is nothing's wrong with you, you're a great guy and if things don't work out you'll move on because you know there's plenty of women out there that WILL like who you are.

Stop caring so much about the impression you're making, it'll cause you to put a ton of pressure on yourself and you won't truly enjoy what's happening because it's like you're floating outside of yourself looking at all your "moves" making sure everything is textbook efficient.

You as a human being are naturally able to sense things about people and situations, go with that. Nothing wrong with what your doing, just your mindset. Are you evaluating what she can offer you, or are you stuck on analyzing all the moves YOU make?

That was my major pitfall in the recent past, I cared too much about what other people thought of me instead of wondering why I was scared to be myself. A lot of people don't realize how much power they already have within themselves...........

 

[Skel]

yeah you shouldnt ask her what you think of me. Total AFC move right there.

 

[Charm]

Its time to build some sexual rapport with her and continue building trust and comfort. Do so by learning more about what her values are and helping her feel connected to you in a way so she feels you embody them. This is all great practice for you by the way and you'll get smoother with each date and girl.

 

[CoolRunning]

Charm - I like your advice. You got examples of how to build sexual rapport, or learn what her values are?

 

[Tazman]

Charm - I like your advice. You got examples of how to build sexual rapport, or learn what her values are?

This is what I'm talking about. Not believing in yourself. So I guess the kissing and fondling didn't count as "sexual rapport"? If you wanted to go further you could've continued to escalate. If she became uncomfortable and wanted to stop, you'd know she wasn't ready (for whatever reason).

It is never this complicated. All the guys I know, including myself, never went through any step-by-step process to have sex. If a girl is comfortable enough to kiss you (especially for an extendend period of time) she's most likely ready. You push to see where things go, that's all.

I remember this one girl I started seeing who liked me a lot, she actually kind of kissed me first, but I had to almost take over to get down to sex. She gave me an opening and I took it. Even little stuff like me nudging her face to kiss her wasn't enough, I had to man up and take the kiss. It's not rocket science man, and I'm no PUA (which you can probably tell, lol). You push unless you get too much resistance. Man up and just go for it, that's what most of them want you to do anyway.

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

The fact that she said "You seem like a nice guy. Too nice, maybe." seems like you instilled a bit of mystery in her. If those were her exact words, than it seems like she may be using the word "nice" to mean "too good to be true". That may just be how I would reframe it in my mind to be positive. I try to turn everything into something positive.

Not everyone has the "community" definition of the word nice. For example, some people use "nice" such as "wow that is a NICE car". They don't mean it in a derogatory sense, they mean it in an impressed sense.

So, reframe that **** and assume she meant the best. It seems like you are well on your way to bangin that sh.t anyways. Good luck.

 

[bigjohnson]

Man up and just go for it, that's what most of them want you to do anyway.

What he said.

Seriously, if she wasn't into you she wouldn't be making out on your sofa, so stop overthinking it. It's either gonna happen or not, but if you keep trying to get some surefire step by step gimmick it'll be "not" before you know it.

Respect her, respect yourself, go for what you want.

 

[Latinoman]

There is a HUGE difference between:

"He is such a nice guy"

and

"He is a good man".


And the ONLY time I feel the "nice guy" is a positive term is when she says, "I like him. He is a nice!" (Note: no "guy" after "nice").

Of course, this is not an absolute as some women might be bilingual and English might be their second language and might use "nice guy" in a positive way. But that is very unlikely.