Pierce Manhammer
Moderator
As they say, can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
Maybe yes, maybe not.She feels weird because she wants to breakup with you but doesn't know why and can't put her finger on it and logically might be fighting with herself over it because it doesn't make sense in that way.
pretend like shes "confused " , you need to coax it out of her
Yep i agree on this.OP, her interest level is down. I know that is sort of basic comment.... Why her interest level is down is more interesting. Either way being with a low interest woman is depressing. After living with a man for some time, the woman knows more about that man. Some or most of the mystery of the man is discovered. No man is as good as the man that is not fully discovered. If she is good looking perhaps the mystery of who are you put you above her SMV(do we still use that term..) As she knows you more, the mystery points are gone. Now maybe she thinks she can do better. Another man just like you, that she doesn't know as well looks more interesting because of the mystery.
Increase your SMV for this lady, or find another lady that see you has higher then herself.
Interest level low, means her perception is that she is higher than you. That situation will not be fun or healthy for you.
Oke .makes sense, that she behaves differently in her hometown.First of all thank you all for the engagement and feedback.
@Gamisch thanks for the points.
Now here is the thing for everyone in this thread.
Assumptions are easy to be made based on what I have posted and I will clear a few things out.
Firstly, my focus and grind is not lost, is there and it has been since I was with my ex as this was also one of the reason I broke up with my previous relationship. Due to my focus as she wanted to strive me away from my success with kids and marriage. She was toxic anyway and she lost. I ended it.
I don't care to end relationships that drive me out of my course of purpose. A woman will never be able to remove me off-track.
As many of you know women want attention and you have to give it to them at some point. At best don't enter relationships if you cant do that.
Now on an update:
We have went to her city for a week she has completely changed behaviour and went back to normal.
Point being is that she does not like the city we live in, she misses her family and friends and once we are back she becomes this depressed woman with lack of passion for s3x or anything else.
S3x happened 2-3 times last week but nothing more than that. She is the type of woman that waits for a guy to initiate s3x each time she never takes the lead.
She is inexperienced anyway to do that and I knew it since day one when I entered a relationship with her.
Did I become a different guy with her? Yes and no.
I never changed my course of purpose but I have reduced my grind that's for sure.
When i go home and i get to the office room at home she complains that she is alone in the living room for a long time because she works remotely and she is home alone all day. We had an argument over this. She wants me all the time and my attention as she feels lonely in the house.
This is not my problem, i told her to find hobbies and activities.
This is making me depressed to be honest. I feel like i have entered a relationship with a woman that has zero activities besides work she is all day at home and she expects me to create positive environments for her and something to do or she gets bored.
This is driving me nuts. I want to be on my grind and i will be, and at the end of the day being with a woman and wanting to grind is impossible unless you find a woman that has the same vision with you and she understands what it takes.
Course of action will be determined based on how things will go from now and on.
Any way, my opinion still stands; you get comfortable again, imo ignoring TONS of warning shots..heck it's like you're standing at the frontline suicidal with a death wish!First of all thank you all for the engagement and feedback.
@Gamisch thanks for the points.
Now here is the thing for everyone in this thread.
Assumptions are easy to be made based on what I have posted and I will clear a few things out.
Firstly, my focus and grind is not lost, is there and it has been since I was with my ex as this was also one of the reason I broke up with my previous relationship. Due to my focus as she wanted to strive me away from my success with kids and marriage. She was toxic anyway and she lost. I ended it.
I don't care to end relationships that drive me out of my course of purpose. A woman will never be able to remove me off-track.
As many of you know women want attention and you have to give it to them at some point. At best don't enter relationships if you cant do that.
Now on an update:
We have went to her city for a week she has completely changed behaviour and went back to normal.
Point being is that she does not like the city we live in, she misses her family and friends and once we are back she becomes this depressed woman with lack of passion for s3x or anything else.
S3x happened 2-3 times last week but nothing more than that. She is the type of woman that waits for a guy to initiate s3x each time she never takes the lead.
She is inexperienced anyway to do that and I knew it since day one when I entered a relationship with her.
Did I become a different guy with her? Yes and no.
I never changed my course of purpose but I have reduced my grind that's for sure.
When i go home and i get to the office room at home she complains that she is alone in the living room for a long time because she works remotely and she is home alone all day. We had an argument over this. She wants me all the time and my attention as she feels lonely in the house.
This is not my problem, i told her to find hobbies and activities.
This is making me depressed to be honest. I feel like i have entered a relationship with a woman that has zero activities besides work she is all day at home and she expects me to create positive environments for her and something to do or she gets bored.
This is driving me nuts. I want to be on my grind and i will be, and at the end of the day being with a woman and wanting to grind is impossible unless you find a woman that has the same vision with you and she understands what it takes.
Course of action will be determined based on how things will go from now and on.
I guess to help answer that, what makes you think you became different? It feels like there's a bit of missing detail to give feedback.First of all thank you all for the engagement and feedback.
@Gamisch thanks for the points.
Now on an update:
We have went to her city for a week she has completely changed behaviour and went back to normal.
Point being is that she does not like the city we live in, she misses her family and friends and once we are back she becomes this depressed woman with lack of passion for s3x or anything else.
S3x happened 2-3 times last week but nothing more than that. She is the type of woman that waits for a guy to initiate s3x each time she never takes the lead.
She is inexperienced anyway to do that and I knew it since day one when I entered a relationship with her.
Did I become a different guy with her? Yes and no.
I never changed my course of purpose but I have reduced my grind that's for sure.
When i go home and i get to the office room at home she complains that she is alone in the living room for a long time because she works remotely and she is home alone all day. We had an argument over this. She wants me all the time and my attention as she feels lonely in the house.
This is not my problem, i told her to find hobbies and activities.
This is making me depressed to be honest. I feel like i have entered a relationship with a woman that has zero activities besides work she is all day at home and she expects me to create positive environments for her and something to do or she gets bored.
This is driving me nuts. I want to be on my grind and i will be, and at the end of the day being with a woman and wanting to grind is impossible unless you find a woman that has the same vision with you and she understands what it takes.
Course of action will be determined based on how things will go from now and on.
Probably my sense of investing in this relationship made my schedule / life different. It was expected. Entering a relationship and a commitment requires sacrifices. This has altered my daily life. It was expected. I knew it beforehand.I guess to help answer that, what makes you think you became different? It feels like there's a bit of missing detail to give feedback.
One thing I do want to say, and I've learned this not just from another guy but also from recent experience, women do not care about your self-improvement. Long story short, Im in grad school. I have mentioned that to women, and some are understanding, others are not. One of them, I offered to reschedule due to a final that is basically pass or fail, didn't want to reschedule and even said she's parting ways. But I mention this point because of an old adage: You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink it. My perspective, whether I have another opportunity in grad school or post, she is free to join and support me on my adventure. The thing is, a person's happiness is their own responsibility, not another's. Her placing that burden on you to create positive environments, that's more for on the dates. As a constant? That's too much to ask
Iron Rule of Tomassi #4This relationship is done. Your mistake was living with her. Get a new place and prepare to move.
This sounds like the issue.When i go home and i get to the office room at home she complains that she is alone in the living room for a long time because she works remotely and she is home alone all day. We had an argument over this. She wants me all the time and my attention as she feels lonely in the house.
This is not my problem, i told her to find hobbies and activities.
This is making me depressed to be honest. I feel like i have entered a relationship with a woman that has zero activities besides work she is all day at home and she expects me to create positive environments for her and something to do or she gets bored.
Women are a pain in the ass. I don’t know why any (legally) single guy would live with one.I think living with any girlfriend is a bad idea. Men think it's going to be nothing but convenient sex but it usually doesn't happen like that.
Despite having a child, she tends to depend on OP not only for entertaining them (which, as a parent, involves planning trips and engaging activities) but also for shouldering most of the childcare responsibilities due to her lack of initiative. For instance, she might ask OP to fetch her purse from the car.This sounds like the issue.
"I just feel weird lately, it's not your fault it's my fault, I think I'm depressed"
“Weird“ is a cowardly way of saying regretful. She is starting to second guess her decision because of the boredom she puts herself through. You are perfectly fine doing your thing but she lacks human connection working from home and is looking for you to fill the void. This is where many women are like the oldest child in the house. They lack ways to entertain themselves, especially if they have no children to occupy their time.
I have arrived at that same realization over time.Women are a pain in the ass. I don’t know why any (legally) single guy would live with one.