She just told me: I just feel weird lately

[BackInTheGame78]

She feels weird because she wants to breakup with you but doesn't know why and can't put her finger on it and logically might be fighting with herself over it because it doesn't make sense in that way.

 

[Gameplayer007]

OP I'm just curious but you said she moved in with you right? At what point in the course of the relationship did she move in? I haven't read thoroughly through all the messages but what comes to my mind is the old adage "familiarity breeds contempt." I know you said it "just happened," but from the get go or what? I'm just speculating but my point though that I'm trying to make is it sounds like she's now familiar and certain that she's no longer chasing you. Again, just speculation and even from my own past habit and experience, but if she doesn't have a chase = her emotions aren't engaged in a positive way.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Oh common.

Either provide a solid advice or don’t post on my threads.

You guys with zero advice experience throwing your opinions “the relationsip is done”

Post an advice or a thought or leave.

You are right. You have this figured it. Carry on.

 

[Bingo-Player]

You may not want to hear it but these are are warning signals that another king has entered your castle

something has either happened or is happening in HER LIFE that she isnt telling you about and is causing her hamster to have turmoil

She knows what it is but wants to pretend like shes "confused " , you need to coax it out of her

 

[parabellum]

I’d give her the benefit of the doubt is she’s able to give you a solid reason of why she’s feeling depressed if you sit down with her and have a conversation. Then work on a solution, it shouldn’t be a huge deal.

now, she’s not able to give you an explanation? I would tell her how weird is that fact alone, and that i am deeply concern with that type of behavior. And then I would follow a similar roadmap as layed down by Gamish.

 

[Divorced w 3]

My girlfriend of a couple of weeks just moved in as well and is exhibiting some of these symptoms too. Kind of a bummer.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Dudes so quick to move in with girls. They never learn.

 

[Clockwerk50]

1. Did you stop courting her? Like did you stop proving yourself and are taking her for granted? Are you neglecting her?

2. Does she know everything about your life now? Like there is no mystery left and the relationship has settled into comfort and routine?

3. Do you feel like the relationship is slowly burning out? Like she doesn’t like you anymore and she is withdrawing inside?

4. Does she like the life you are giving her? Or maybe she expected better things or you potential is not what she expected?

Before you react and ask her what’s wrong I would ask myself these question before I make a decision on what to do… that is if you want to keep the relationship. But again, you know, you need 2 to tango.

 

[Learning Curve]

OP I'm just curious but you said she moved in with you right? At what point in the course of the relationship did she move in? I haven't read thoroughly through all the messages but what comes to my mind is the old adage "familiarity breeds contempt." I know you said it "just happened," but from the get go or what? I'm just speculating but my point though that I'm trying to make is it sounds like she's now familiar and certain that she's no longer chasing you. Again, just speculation and even from my own past habit and experience, but if she doesn't have a chase = her emotions aren't engaged in a positive way.

I would say around the 7 months mark.

I had to leave the place i was renting by myself because of mold and other problems and she suggested to move in together pretty much.

 

[Learning Curve]

My girlfriend of a couple of weeks just moved in as well and is exhibiting some of these symptoms too. Kind of a bummer.

Funny how all the women are basically the same.

 

[Learning Curve]

Dudes so quick to move in with girls. They never learn.

actually you are right.

it was too quick, never done it before so quickly.

lesson learned. everyone makes mistakes.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Cannot fathom being a caged animal. Hell I’ve gotten to the point that I do not do overnights anymore. All of my kittens ask for them, but I’ve got shyte to do in the morning, I’m very busy ya know? I’ll let them stay late and we will have dinner together and watch shows but all of them know that sex has to be on tap. I’m a gracious host, but I want them gone after several hours mostly. If I go to her place and it’s nice enough I might stay till they crash in my arms, then head out in the wee hours.

Guess I’m broken, but she’d have to be a candidate for me hanging up my guns and settling down, and while I’ve gotten very close once or twice it didn’t pan out.

Guess I’m just an old curmudgeon.

 

[plumber]

OP, her interest level is down. I know that is sort of basic comment.... Why her interest level is down is more interesting. Either way being with a low interest woman is depressing. After living with a man for some time, the woman knows more about that man. Some or most of the mystery of the man is discovered. No man is as good as the man that is not fully discovered. If she is good looking perhaps the mystery of who are you put you above her SMV(do we still use that term..) As she knows you more, the mystery points are gone. Now maybe she thinks she can do better. Another man just like you, that she doesn't know as well looks more interesting because of the mystery.

Increase your SMV for this lady, or find another lady that see you has higher then herself.

Interest level low, means her perception is that she is higher than you. That situation will not be fun or healthy for you.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Why do people want to share living space so desperately? One of my boundaries is women moving in. Sleep over, sure. Weekend fun, if they're not clingy. But none of them can move into my space.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Funny how all the women are basically the same.

I am only joking. If you know me you know what a shyshow the last couple months have been. I just wanted to bring a little humor to you my man. Hang in ther.

 

[Gameplayer007]

I would say around the 7 months mark.

My thought then is she's become familiar with you and lacks the mystery of you. Without the mystery of who you are/ what you're doing, her emotions aren't engaged. She doesn't have the chase of figuring out who you are and has "her prize" already. It was nice for her to offer that in your situation but if possible I would say one of the best things to do is start engaging in some hobbies with friends or do stuff. I'm not saying this is the silver bullet to the problem, but you want her to essentially start wondering what you're doing. It boils down to engaging her emotions in such a way that her interest level rises.

On a different note @Learning Curve it might not hurt to try different hobbies or habits. It doesn't hurt to have an outlet, like working out or going for a hike, so you can handle this with a clear mind.

 

[Gamisch]

I would say around the 7 months mark.

I had to leave the place i was renting by myself because of mold and other problems and she suggested to move in together pretty much.

And gents, THIS is what's causing all these issues. The 7month mark is basically ome month past the initial honeymoon phase (6 months)

You see, you literally entered HER frame. As in, her 4 walls, nothing can describe HER FRAME any better.

( truth bomb alarm!!).

Lets be real; you THOUGHT you had it good..you weren't upset nor irritated nor ashamed, even tho you should almost tell her:

"nah thanks imma sleep on my homeboy,s couch for two weeks."

The latter is another thing: IF you go to her place..make sure it (starts as) is a TEMPORARY thing. 2 weeks max. Why because NO MAN should EVER wanna live with a woman because HE doesn't has his shyte together! Thats basically starting the relationship as her little troublesome brother. Those two weeks you grind your azz of to improve your situation ASAP. She must SEE and witness your hustler mindset.

If a man decides to live with a woman ;(just my opinion not a biblical law ofcourse)
- 1.she must BEG him. A continuous process of her being humble . So a man can lay down all of his demands
-2. it can NEVER be at her place..
-3. You still wanna have AT LEAST enough money to get a room somewhere the moment you KNOW it's time to go.

Lets especially look at 2. The difference between your place and her place is like summer vs winter. Yes yes yes , your mindset is one that says " mi casa es su casa sin bullshyte". But unfortunately it doesn't work the same way with women.. then it suddenly is :me case me case not su casa no no no ME casa".
________________________________________
Quick back story: when me and my baby momma broke up it was EXTREMELY ugly. I had to restart and lost everything. I rented a shytehole of a room and met another woman. Me being devastated, I wasn't able to jump into something new. But she kept pushing me..live here ,here's the key to my house, buying me weed and beer and offering me bj,s every day.

Despite all of this, I decided from the get go I WONT try to take shortcuts now and use her ( aka COUNT on her)..i MUST be able to self sufficient at ALL costs. Yes, I hang with her..and just fecking her was already a OBVIOUS trade off( her p00sy and place and facilities vs my presence in her life..) I simply KNEW that IF I'd take her offer, she would change her mind REALLY quick..

Moral of the background story? When a deal seems to good to be true , assume it is. And even when it isn't, your internal mentality should always tell you you rather die than being dependent upon another person, let alone a woman!!

 

[Gamisch]

Dudes so quick to move in with girls. They never learn.

And the biggest lesson (imo) is that this isn't even from a position of joy , love and lust. She basically takes him in as a stray dog. A lost puppy who she'll soon despise..

Well if anyone of you knows me i never said in my life “it just happened” but with this chick it happened.

It didn't "just happen " bro.
You orchestrated your own shyte show loooong before and due to her savety net you YET AGAIN stole from yourself. I mean to say that sometimes a man must take full responsibility and take 2 ,even 3 steps back to come back.

This is all just tuff love. I am sorry I am unable to be less harsh..

She feels weird because she wants to breakup with you but doesn't know why and can't put her finger on it and logically might be fighting with herself over it because it doesn't make sense in that way.

He took away ALL of her freedom of movement . Nothing in the house he lives in belongs to him. Nothing. Not even decisions loke where we place the tv the couch ect. If a woman can't provide materialistic things she'll at least tries to make herself at home by rearranging furniture, deep cleaning ect.

As I said before,the difference between your place vs her place is night and day
Basically it's like dealing with a completely different, new person you never knew..

You may not want to hear it but these are are warning signals that another king has entered your castle

something has either happened or is happening in HER LIFE that she isnt telling you about and is causing her hamster to have turmoil

She knows what it is but wants to pretend like shes "confused " , you need to coax it out of her

Agree. 99,9 % of the time there's (as you beautifully said it) another king. Even if that king just made her aware of HIS presence. Even if she doesn't know him personally yet, it's still enough to plant a "seed of doubt " in her mind. This "other king " can be a less attractive version of OP but one who has his shyte together.


As more details come through , it almost doesn't matter why and how. Respect triumphs all when dealing with women. If self respect isn't there (due to bad life choices) ,than you can't expect respect from other people.

 

[HaleyBaron]

I can't hate on him too fully. Every person will learn it at least once. I learned it by living with a crazy single mother and sisters. So I already don't like living with women. Guys who come from that chivalry school of thought tend to want to move in with a woman. At one point, I kinda wanted to live with a significant other, too. But everytime, I liked my alone time better. You might think that it'll be great to always have her there to **** her when you feel like it. Unfortunately, it does not work like that.

I always go over to the woman's house. It gives me an excuse to leave when I am done and also keeps her from interrupting me by coming over to my place. Some people will interpret it as me entering her frame by going to her house but it's actually vice versa. The key is to not stick around for too long. If you got stuff to do like me it is easy.

 

[Scaramouche]

Cannot fathom being a caged animal. Hell I’ve gotten to the point that I do not do overnights anymore. All of my kittens ask for them, but I’ve got shyte to do in the morning, I’m very busy ya know? I’ll let them stay late and we will have dinner together and watch shows but all of them know that sex has to be on tap. I’m a gracious host, but I want them gone after several hours mostly. If I go to her place and it’s nice enough I might stay till they crash in my arms, then head out in the wee hours.

Guess I’m broken, but she’d have to be a candidate for me hanging up my guns and settling down, and while I’ve gotten very close once or twice it didn’t pan out.

Guess I’m just an old curmudgeon.

Hi Pierce,
No you aren't a cranky old Devil,rather more a "cooler" than a "bouncer"(Apologies to Amsterdam) Never let them get their feet under your Table,given an inch many will try for a mile...What you describe is a rite of passage you are finding increasing value in Contemplation and Solitude,Who wants a Woman under their feet all the time?