Serous question could mean someones life

[BuryYourDead]

ok one of my female friends just admitted to me she cuts and smokes because of her bf...this is seroius i want to help her but i dont know how can someone tell me what the **** i do caus ethis is hitting me all at ocne here *sigh(

 

[AngelusPUA]

Don't be a martyr

 

[BuryYourDead]

Don't be a martyr

what does that mean....its a friend not someone i want to get in the pants of if you mena not listen to problems

i want to help not listen to you tell me what to do and what not to do about me this is serous i usealy dont have to deal with this kind of **** liek cutting and ****

 

[S1NN3R]

Don't be a martyr

what does that mean....its a friend not someone i want to get in the pants of if you mena not listen to problems

i want to help not listen to you tell me what to do and what not to do about me this is serous i usealy dont have to deal with this kind of **** liek cutting and ****

It means, don't get involved. It's none of your damned business what she does. You stick your nose in and all you're going to do is drive a nice big wedge between you and her, then you'll slowly drift apart, with her still doing what she's doing, and you with one less friend.

You want to be a real friend? Just be there for her when she NEEDS you to be there for her, not before. You don't like what she's doing? That's your problem, not hers.

 

[BuryYourDead]

It means, don't get involved. It's none of your damned business what she does. You stick your nose in and all you're going to do is drive a nice big wedge between you and her, then you'll slowly drift apart, with her still doing what she's doing, and you with one less friend.

You want to be a real friend? Just be there for her when she NEEDS you to be there for her, not before. You don't like what she's doing? That's your problem, not hers.

yeah good advice i didnt want to hear it but she just pile **** on me like this its kind of hard to comprehnd its liek she thinks imn suposed to do something a bout it

 

[PRMoon]

That is if her boyfriend/friends/father/brothers don't shoot you and bury you in the desert first.....

Some how I see him more of the back woods or corn field type. He definately wouldn't of even made it as far as he has in vegas or the like.

 

[blinkwatt]

Ok I did this to a chick I knew,so I know it works. This chick and I were waiting to meet a friend,just friends, I wasnt trying anything. She pulls out a pack of cigarettes and starts smoking,I look at here like "wtf" and she says "I know I should quit". I say "quit smoking,think about it,it shortens your life,and you might be meant for something or heck you could be another blonde" she said "Your the only one who has said that to me." She threw the cigarette out and I havent seen her smoke since,well at least not in front of me.
Your scenario is a little different,she said she does it becuase of her boyfriend. Just remind her that all these actions that she is taking are shortening her life. If she smokes and does other negative actions towards her body because of her boyfriend she is an idiot because they clearly arent worth the amount of trouble she puts herself through.

 

[Nzo]

hey bury your dead dont get to worried, of course i dont know the specefics but her telling you this is more of a cry for help than anything

 

[AngelusPUA]

Man it doesn't mean her life don't be so melodramatic a lot of people cut themselves to deal with the stresses of life. It's not a sign that they are going to commit suicide they are usually shallow cuts to the upper arm or thigh. It is more an addiction than anything but if you MUST get involved get her family involved or even tell her BF.

 

[DonJuanByNature]

hey bury your dead dont get to worried, of course i dont know the specefics but her telling you this is more of a cry for help than anything

exactly..... so just slap it out of her lol (gently and in fun ofcourse)

 

[jonwon]

ok one of my female friends just admitted to me she cuts and smokes because of her bf...this is seroius i want to help her but i dont know how can someone tell me what the **** i do caus ethis is hitting me all at ocne here *sigh(

I dated a girl that liked to cut, believe me it is a stress you really do not need.

It is a mental issue that nothing you can do or say can help, she has to deal with it, your not a shrink and even experts cant cure a cutter.
So exactly what the hell do you think you can do here?

I understand you may have feelings for her if she is a friend but trust me on this there is nothing you can do, also cutters mainly do it for attention and reliving stress, they say attention does not come into it, but eventually they reach out for sympathy from some-one knowing full well there problem is there’s alone.

The girl should not have burdened you with this extra stress.

Cutters are normally depressed ppl, or they have emotional issues, cutters are mainly female they use cutting to relive stress and anxiety, they see the pain as a release. Cutters don’t necessarily commit suicide but they have been know to, now knowing there is little to nothing you can do, how do you think now if she did go ahead and top her self, hard question but needs to be said, do you think you will be to blame since you did not help her stop? You see the problem, you are shifting responsibility here, this is not your problem and YOU can not sort it out for her, this is a stress and a burden most ppl cant deal with, since there is little to nothing you can do. Put akin to trying to get an addict of crack, you cant force them unless they try to stop for themselves, even using that line wont make a difference.

And you really think it is the BF making her cut, FFS get a grip you puzzy whipped Care bear, FFS she is playing with your nice nature and pouring her shi* onto you, no man can make some-one harm themselves beliving some-one else can more fool you tbh.

I would walk away from this whilst you still can, or at the very least avoid the subject, or tell her to go get some professional advice she has a diagnosed mental condition she needs prof’ advice not some kid/man with a do gooder sentiment.

Danjanbynature best advice tbh about it, problem is this sociaty will screw you over. Most wont see it though since they think words and nice sh** can sort this, but then again your we are not shrinks, dont think you know the answers to the worlds problems, fact is we dont, ppl are trained and payed for this stuff, dont be the di** with the big heart who is actually making things far worse.

 

[jonwon]

Yeah I've wrestled with girls, but have you ever seen a girl when she's not in a good mood? They don't like to wrestle, they don't like to play around and the definitely don't like to be suffocated. You really don't know women at all!

Clueless moron!

This is the kind of thing that really pisses me off. When we have idiotic keyboard jockey posts in serious threads!

Tbh if you have not had experiance with a cutter then everyone should keep the FU** out of here and leave it for ppl that do know this issue, i.e me.

All the rest shut the hell up you really dont know what your talking about tbh.
there are some decent answers in here but most are only half arsed, read my above post.

 

[The Truth]

Now to the original poster. I have 3 friends like this. They cut themselves and talk about suicide a lot. It used to worry me and I gave up such a large part of my time to talk to them, to be there for them, and to help them stop and it was constantly thrown back in my face. They were all saying the same thing about how society sucks, life sucks, everything sucks....but none of them had any real problems.

I tried to get them to stop cutting themselves and they say it gives them pleasure. I also realised they like to scar themselves because it gets them attention. One of my friends couldn't wait to show me the scars on her legs.

It's natural for you to worry about your friends. I was scared and upset when each of these friends told me. But it is just attention seeking and wallowing in self pity. People like this take pleasure from being miserable and they will drag you down if you let them.

In the end I realised these friends weren't actually good people in need of help. They were attention seekers who just wanted everyone to gather round them and beg them to stop hurting themselves and give them attention.

Seriously, I'm not being cold, but as serious as it SOUNDS, it really is just attention seeking. My advice is to leave this friend to do her own thing and don't get involved. It's an emotional drain and I assure you, you will get no results and get no grattitude!

 

[DonJuanByNature]

Listen

Yeah I've wrestled with girls, but have you ever seen a girl when she's not in a good mood? They don't like to wrestle, they don't like to play around and the definitely don't like to be suffocated. You really don't know women at all!

when they are in a bad mood, yes I agree with you they dont like to wrestle...

however, sounded to me like this person is depressed...

Ive seen girls that are depressed..they would just sit there with no emotion..

and keep in mind, that I fck girls not befriend them... so the girls that are my "friends" are really MY FRIENDS>.. and If i want to restrain her, she aint gonna do sht about it... and if she trying to make my day go bad with such nonsence, I will make sure to snap her out of it quick, and talk her some sence...

also ...

Tbh if you have not had experiance with a cutter then everyone should keep the FU** out of here and leave it for ppl that do know this issue, i.e me.

I dont know if this kid is experienced or not, but he made a good point...

This site is how to become DON JUAN... the question is.. Would Don Juan know how to handle a cutter lol? one thing i will tell you...unfortunately,, DON JUAN would NOT GIVE A FCK if the girl he fcked cut and killed herself... cause thats not his problem.... Don Juan is selfish...

 

[jonwon]

Now to the original poster. I have 3 friends like this. They cut themselves and talk about suicide a lot. It used to worry me and I gave up such a large part of my time to talk to them, to be there for them, and to help them stop and it was constantly thrown back in my face. They were all saying the same thing about how society sucks, life sucks, everything sucks....but none of them had any real problems.

I tried to get them to stop cutting themselves and they say it gives them pleasure. I also realised they like to scar themselves because it gets them attention. One of my friends couldn't wait to show me the scars on her legs.

It's natural for you to worry about your friends. I was scared and upset when each of these friends told me. But it is just attention seeking and wallowing in self pity. People like this take pleasure from being miserable and they will drag you down if you let them.

In the end I realised these friends weren't actually good people in need of help. They were attention seekers who just wanted everyone to gather round them and beg them to stop hurting themselves and give them attention.

Seriously, I'm not being cold, but as serious as it SOUNDS, it really is just attention seeking. My advice is to leave this friend to do her own thing and don't get involved. It's an emotional drain and I assure you, you will get no results and get no grattitude!

Spot on my man.

Also lets look at another thing here:

The OP is abit naive bless him.

But his is a the main problem not the cutter, fact is if this cutter did top her slef not only has she fu** up her life she also has ppl around her, with the ‘I can help’ mentality thinking why did I not try harder to help her?

This is the main problem, if she want to screw her life up her choice, offer the only advice you can and that’s for them to get professional help, other then that, don’t do anything else this is not your problem, this is her’s so don’t think if worst comes to the worst you where to blame.

This is the scary thing about this post, if she wants to screw it up for herself I.e top herself she should at least not burden some-one elses life with the responsibility and that is what is going on here. Don’t be responsible for the women or any others person problems, ppl have to sort them out themselves, you can offer advice but never take responsibility and don’t let anyone make you think you are responsible for there own fuc*** up shi*.

 

[jonwon]

when they are in a bad mood, yes I agree with you they dont like to wrestle...

however, sounded to me like this person is depressed...

Ive seen girls that are depressed..they would just sit there with no emotion..

and keep in mind, that I fck girls not befriend them... so the girls that are my "friends" are really MY FRIENDS>.. and If i want to restrain her, she aint gonna do sht about it... and if she trying to make my day go bad with such nonsence, I will make sure to snap her out of it quick, and talk her some sence...

And DJBN, why does every thread after turn into you proving just how much an alpha you are?
Think I have read almost all your posts about how many girls you have fu**ed, how alpha you are and how manly you are, we get it already!

You’re an alpha man sweet turn the record off!

 

[Hawke]

I've had quite a few friends who've cut themselves, and like jonwon (his advice is good, even if his attitude sucks) has said they do it for attention mainly or a way to relieve (forgive any spellings, three days without sleep and i can barely type,lol) the pain they feel. The time you really get concerned about friends like this is when they DON'T mention they are self harming themselves. Aslong as she's mentioning it, it's a cry for help, she needs you there as a friend. So for this forget all the bull**** advice a lot of the wannabe DJ's here say, she's your friend and she needs you. Never abandon a friend, be it male or female.

As for what you can do... just listen to her. As her why she does it, but don't judge her. She just needs an ear to listen, a way to vent. If you can mention to her the dangers, make her see more that what she is doing is harmful, but do that in ways that aren't forceful. Yeah that might seem a little weak, and some here will complain about that, but with helping you need to make it just seem like your doing nothing. It helps more. And if you can, take her out places so she can really enjoy herself. Cut back on the negatives in her life.

In the end most people who cut themsevles stop, they grow out of it. And those who don't... well you can usually tell those types, and for those you get them serious help.

 

[jonwon]

I've had quite a few friends who've cut themselves, and like jonwon (his advice is good, even if his attitude sucks) has said they do it for attention mainly or a way to relieve (forgive any spellings, three days without sleep and i can barely type,lol) the pain they feel. The time you really get concerned about friends like this is when they DON'T mention they are self harming themselves. Aslong as she's mentioning it, it's a cry for help, she needs you there as a friend. So for this forget all the bull**** advice a lot of the wannabe DJ's here say, she's your friend and she needs you. Never abandon a friend, be it male or female.

As for what you can do... just listen to her. As her why she does it, but don't judge her. She just needs an ear to listen, a way to vent. If you can mention to her the dangers, make her see more that what she is doing is harmful, but do that in ways that aren't forceful. Yeah that might seem a little weak, and some here will complain about that, but with helping you need to make it just seem like your doing nothing. It helps more. And if you can, take her out places so she can really enjoy herself. Cut back on the negatives in her life.

In the end most people who cut themsevles stop, they grow out of it. And those who don't... well you can usually tell those types, and for those you get them serious help.

Maybe my attitude does suck.

But the message you are saying is something I have tried a lot of times, again your puzzy arsed reply is another means to shift responsibility.

Yes it is a cry for help it is also a mean to get attention, in the perfect model your ideals would work, but get this, the world is not perfect, shock horror!

You sentiment is noted and respected but being there done it worn the T-Shirt it will most likley turn out to be a futile attempt.

Limit the negatives in her life, this is not his responsibility and tbh I hope he does not swallow this cra*.
If my attitude suck it is because I am sick and tired or reading glorified do gooders with the mentality all is rosy and there way is the best way, like the world is some perfect sphere or eventuality.

There is one answer and one answer only! to this problem, she need 'professional advice' <<<<<<<<<< read it again! DO NOT ACCEPT RESPONSIBILY here!

This is from experiance not from text book none sensical ideals.

 

[Hawke]

Lmao, i love your reply. Really i do... and i don't speak from text book none sense, i speak from having had to deal with seeing countless of my friends go through depression and suicide attempts. I don't get pissed off often, but don't you dare even try to think that i have no experience with this.

The world isn't perfect, and i have no idea where you get the idea i thought it was. Or where you got many of your assumptions... i'd ask you to explain, but that's off topic, and the topic of this post is FAR more important.

 

[DonJuanByNature]

okay............listen

And DJBN, why does every thread after turn into you proving just how much an alpha you are?
Think I have read almost all your posts about how many girls you have fu**ed, how alpha you are and how manly you are, we get it already!

You’re an alpha man sweet turn the record off!

I mentioned that I fck girls not befriend them....there was no mention of "I am alpha", also Can you tell me how many girls I fcked? cause I sure would like to know? maybe you can find a post and quote me

Anyways, I never intend to prove anything about "me"... I attempt to prove to others (afc's) the key ingredients of becoming a Don Juan..

Take it or leave it... up to you....